Raphael

Going through the spiral

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And this one too.

 

How can this comment exists if you don't perceive it?

See?

 

You are creating this journal.

You are creating all the posts that you are reading.

You are currently creating everything.

 

Why are you doing this?

Why are you creating this?

Why do you need this?

Why?

 

?

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23 hours ago, Raphael said:

I really hope actualized.org never becomes mainstream. To stay uncorrupted, teachings have to not being widespread... but Leo recently created a new channel with short video clips to open actualized.org to more people...

Same

Also, I think a lot of teachings in Leo's videos can easily be used to justify devilry by people with lower levels of consciousness. I think a good example is spiral dynamics. It's a good and useful model but if it's introduced into the mainstream with people who are at orange or blue with no intention on integrating green, it can be used to justify eugenics and racism. Or blue people could make this into a cult.  You raised some really good points about why we shouldn't get rid of comments/forum.

I talk more about the dangers of spiral dynamics going mainstream in this entry I made in this journal: 

 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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18 minutes ago, Raphael said:

And this one too.

 

How can this comment exists if you don't perceive it?

See?

 

You are creating this journal.

You are creating all the posts that you are reading.

You are currently creating everything.

 

Why are you doing this?

Why are you creating this?

Why do you need this?

Why?

 

?

Solpsism in nutshell. See there is a guy far far away that is writing this. You didn't wrote this but I did because I decided to do so. So what exactly you created? 

Why?! 

There is no why for you because I've done it and not you. 

So there can't be answer to that question or any accurate answer because premises are wrong. 

Basic logic. 

Edited by Zeroguy

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@soos_mite_ah

I remember reading this entry. I also had an experience around the same time where I got into a stage blue environment. Even though I knew about SD, my ego was a bit too strong to have enough compassion which resulted in a very difficult period of my life with a lot of conflicts. I thought sometimes about trying to introduce the model to stage blue/orange people, but an entire course would be necessary only to understand why the transition to orange or green is necessary.

By the way, what do you think about Leo participating in podcasts? Someone pointed out on this forum that it can help in giving a less cultist image of actualized.org and opening it, but again being too open can be an issue.

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36 minutes ago, Raphael said:

By the way, what do you think about Leo participating in podcasts? Someone pointed out on this forum that it can help in giving a less cultist image of actualized.org and opening it, but again being too open can be an issue.

I think it's good because it can spread valuable information in the mainstream and can make him more approachable. I think what Leo talks about is more important than the fact that he's talking. Talking about how we are all one, we are god, and how we should use psychedelics to realize that imo isn't a good move from an optics point because the vast majority of people aren't aware of nonduality being a thing much less have a basic understanding of it. Unless you got exposed to those topics through philosophy, religious studies or something, it isn't unlikely that people will jump to the conclusion of "great another guy on drugs claiming he's god, what's new." Like if you leave enlightenment, psychedelics, and talking about god off the table, I think Leo becoming more mainstream can be beneficial. 


I have faith in the person I am becoming xD

https://www.theupwardspiral.blog/

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I am Enough

I was experiencing very difficult emotions today. My mind was incredibly agitated then after a moment, I had this insight: I am enough. I started to feel better and better just after and the monkey mind gradually shut down. I also cried a bit.

I often have a sense of urgency, it stresses me out, it ruins my life. I finally became aware of its origin: my dad. This isn't really a surprise, and many of my issues are from him, but it feels great to understand them and fix them. I have always been talked by him, always pressured so much to do great, to perform that it ruined my life. It created some deep insecurities of always feeling not being enough and of always needing to do more and more things.

Today, I can say this: I am enough.

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Just now, Raphael said:

@Raphael You are enough, you are enough.

Thank you, I love you.

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Seeing people as lost kids in life might help in developing compassion towards them rather than being frustrated by them.

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On 5/10/2021 at 9:47 PM, soos_mite_ah said:

I think it's good because it can spread valuable information in the mainstream and can make him more approachable. I think what Leo talks about is more important than the fact that he's talking. Talking about how we are all one, we are god, and how we should use psychedelics to realize that imo isn't a good move from an optics point because the vast majority of people aren't aware of nonduality being a thing much less have a basic understanding of it. Unless you got exposed to those topics through philosophy, religious studies or something, it isn't unlikely that people will jump to the conclusion of "great another guy on drugs claiming he's god, what's new." Like if you leave enlightenment, psychedelics, and talking about god off the table, I think Leo becoming more mainstream can be beneficial. 

It would be the best thing to do, but I don't think he will avoid spirituality if he participates in other podcasts. It looks like spirituality is what interests him the most and he also outgrew basic personal development. Maybe talking about life purpose, world issues, and politics would be the best thing. I think that he will only talk with people that are open-minded enough and have at least an advanced orange/green audience. That way the audience would be open to the ideas without taking things literally.

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Stage Blue

I always hated stage blue. More specifically, I always:

  • Hated conforming
  • Hated being shamed for not conforming
  • Hated the need to be loyal to a culture or a social group
  • Hated the pride that people have for their culture, country, or ethnicity
  • Hated their rigidity
  • Hated rigid rules
  • Hated people taking things way too literally or seriously
  • Hated people getting angry just because of a small joke, a bit of humor, and a bit of lightness in life
  • Hated being criticized for having original ideas
  • Hated having no rights for creativity and to explore original ideas
  • Hated not being able to ask questions
  • Hated religious dogmas
  • Hated how people talk about being good and loving, but hates so much people who thinks differently (just as I'm currently doing with stage blue, so that's a strange loop that I'm falling into)
  • Hated their racism, sexism, homophobia
  • Hated how people shame others for not being kind and polite
  • Hated how fake people are, speaks about kindness and caring about others where in reality this is not genuine care but just fear who push them to have moral values that they don't even understand
  • Hated how much people fake happiness behind religious beliefs
  • Hated how people stay stuck on small details
  • Hated how people fights for small details
  • Hated how parents don't take their children seriously just because they are children
  • Hated the huge sense of superiority that authorities have
  • Having having to obey to incompetent authorities
  • Hated how authorities aren't open to the possibility of being wrong
  • Hated how authorities talk down to people who are below them in the hierarchy
  • Hated how much repressed emotions are
  • Hated toxic standards of masculinity (OK. There's also a lot of red here)
  • Hated how much people are shamed when they aren't feeling good. Especially how much men are shamed for being sad or depressed. Men not supporting themselves, but just attacking themselves because being sad and depressed is being a pussy and because a strong man is supposed to be dominant and always happy and not express emotions (except rage, anger, hate)
  • Hated masculine hypocrisy towards the feminine. Hated men saying to be kind, caring, and supportive of women, but in practice doing the complete opposite
  • Hated how much people are unhealthily disciplined and just work like mules without thinking about it
  • Hated hearing people saying that the mind doesn't matter and that I shouldn't think that much
  • Hated how black and white their thinking is
  • And much more.

Of course they are healthy aspects to stage blue, but this is not what I'm focusing on here. I rarely met healthy blue people in my life, most of the time they were pretty dumb.

Sorry for the rant, but I really wanted to get this out.

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Healthy Blue Characteristics

  • Ability to defer gratification
  • Hardwork & discipline
  • Hierarchies
  • Stable & orderly
  • Dutiful and obedient
  • Complies with, respects authority
  • Respect of the laws
  • Purposeful, guided
  • Dedicated to a cause
  • Sacrifice for, in service of the common good
  • Responsible, reliable
  • Trustworthy
  • Respectful, polite
  • Sharing & charitable
  • Caring of the family, the community, the country

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The videos about human development and politics are the ones that I like the most. These three videos + all the other ones about Spiral Dynamics are in my favorites.

 

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The last four years were basically about me becoming aware of the unhealthy aspects of all SD stages and shifting more and more to the healthy aspects.

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Healthy Parenting

Healthy parenting as a life purpose should be one of the most important life purpose on the planet.

 

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Growth is Happening

On 5/27/2017 at 11:59 PM, Raphael said:

If outside it feels like I'm calm and relaxed, it's not the case inside. My brain is like a tornado, I'm bored with all theses people always complaining about their life where I'm not. Sometimes, I think like "Let's go to the street and slap all theses assholes in their face", or worst "Let's go and rape someone" (I'm still a virgin who never had any relations with girls). But I don't take this seriously, and hopefully, don't take any action on it. I consider myself as an open-minded person, enough open to admit that I'm unconsciously closed-minded in some fields. I always try to put myself into others perspective, so I don't do any of theses silly things.

Raphael, How To Fix My Life, 27 May 2017

This quote above is one of the first things that I posted on this forum. So much happened since then.

I discovered actualized.org in December 2015. I was a lost and depressed 20 years old kid, I was in a foreign country, I was dealing with an existential crisis, and I was angry against society, capitalism, and people so I entered "fuck society" on YouTube and discovered Leo. The first video that I watched was 30 Ways Society Fucks You In The Ass and I was blown away by how much I resonated with Leo's style. It felt so incredibly similar to me. I especially liked the authenticity, the no BS approach, and the fact that the videos were long and well explained rather than just being 10 minutes videos with a few tips on how to get happy.

On June 21, 2016, I joined this forum. Yes, I've been there for almost 5 years now, however, even if I had an account I didn't spend that much time here. I didn't contribute a lot, I was just meditating every day, reading the conversations, and continuing watching the videos. I was acquiring knowledge and creating my personal map, and by just doing that I grew up a lot.

I began to take things seriously only 2 - 3 years ago after I started to have a proper mental map with the things to fix and improve and really started to understand Spiral Dynamics properly. This was after I went through panic attacks, when I started to get out of the existential crisis that I was dealing with for years, and started to accept how I was no matter my flaws, imperfections, and dirtiness. Of course, I didn't fix everything immediately, and still have a lot of work to do, but at least I started to take action. On July 8, 2019, I started to journal regularly on this forum and created this journal that you are currently reading. After that, I also started practical journals. The first practical journal was Let's get pratical #1: 1h of meditation per day. I grew up enormously since then. If you go to the beginning of this current journal and read the posts, you will feel very different emotions. I was a very different person when I started journaling. There's a huge difference between what I'm currently writing and what I wrote in the past, my evolution can be felt emotionally from all the posts that I've written.

And now who am I? In a sense, nothing has changed, I'm still the same person, I'm not rich, I'm not successful. In another sense, a lot has changed, I almost feel like a completely different human being, especially when it comes to emotions. I felt like an unemotional robot most of my life and saw emotions as BS, but was miserable. Counterintuitively, it's when I started to understand emotions better that my mental state started to improve. Emotions aren't BS, but the reason why we live, we live because we are emotional, otherwise, the human specie wouldn't exist. I evolved a lot when it comes to my maturity. My maturity skyrocketed during the last two years, I feel more mature than almost everyone that I met in life (but I still have a bit of arrogance sometimes ;) ), and I understand the world so much more that I'm sometimes delighted by it.

If I'm really honest with myself, I'm not happy most of the time, I still have fears and anxieties every day, but overall I feel way better than before. Growth is happening, so let's keep growing.

Edited by Raphael

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