Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

Expressing Gratefulness

I think that I have been way too pessimistic most of my life. Some stuff definitely sucked, but I also have gratitude for many things. Gratitude for external things and also gratitude for myself and some choices that I made. It's time to express it, so here we go:

• I'm grateful for being born in a developed country. The country where I live is not a first-world nation, but also not a third-world nation. The level of development has been high enough to allow me to attain at best some elements of stage Yellow and Turquoise. I feel safe and have all my physical needs covered.
• I'm grateful that I never saw that much physical violence.
• I'm grateful that I never got a lot of racism.
• I'm grateful that I evolved in very multicultural environments.
• I'm grateful for the quality of education that I had access to. I had access to a stage orange/green education while growing up which is a very rare thing considering the overall level of development of the world.
• I'm grateful for understanding English. It is allowing me to connect with people from all around the world.
• I'm grateful for being mixed race. It played a huge role in my life and in my ability to perceive the world through different lenses.
• I'm grateful that I traveled a bit in my life and lived in different countries. I plan to do this more in the future.
• I'm grateful for having healthy food.
• I'm grateful for having water.
• I'm grateful for being healthy.
• I'm grateful for having an awesome mother.
• I'm grateful for having an awesome sister.
• I'm grateful for having some dogs that I love.
• I'm grateful that I have been wise enough to never smoke anything, to never get drunk, and to never try drugs. However, I'll probably try psychedelics in the future if I get access to them.
• I'm grateful for not having any strong addictions.
• I'm grateful for having a good-looking body. I was very insecure as a teenager because I was very skinny and got a lot of criticisms on that, but I personally don't care anymore. I'm still skinny as an adult and I'm really enjoying it. I had older women telling me that I was really good-looking and asking me if I had a girlfriend. It didn't happen that much with girls around my age, I assume that most of them are shy and pretty conditioned by society concerning what a young woman should say. Some people have told me that I attract a lot of girls' eyes, so being skinny doesn't matter that much when it comes to attraction.
• I'm grateful that I found actualized.org.
• I'm grateful that this forum exists. I learned enormously by just reading the conversations.
• I'm grateful for the presence of some awesome members on this forum.
• I'm grateful for my open-mindedness.
• I'm grateful for the sophistication of my thoughts.
• I'm grateful for my capacity to self-reflect.
• I'm grateful for my psychological evolution since I discovered actualized.org.
• I'm grateful for my very high intuition.
• I'm grateful and proud that I discovered meditation by myself thanks to my intuition. I was 18 the first time that I meditated. I didn't know about meditation, but I intuitively felt that if I just sit down with my eyes close and my hands on my knees it would help me. I did it, this was my first meditation and it was awesome.
• I'm grateful for my ability to notice my biases and correct them.
• I'm grateful for my financial and working conditions. I make enough money to sustain myself while putting in less than 30 hours (or even less than 20 hours many times) of work per week. I work as a freelance web developer with clients from all around the world. I can work from anywhere on the planet and still sustain myself. If I ever want to move to an expensive place, I can just increase my prices.
• I'm grateful that I like my work and didn't choose it just because I wanted to have a stable career, but because I was interested in it. Programming is a field that combines logic, intuition, and creativity. It allows me to exercise my left brain and right brain at the same time. I consider that it had an enormous impact on the sophistication of my mind.
• I'm grateful for a guy that I met on this forum and who helped me getting started as a freelancer.
• I'm grateful for my privilege of having so much time to be alone by myself.
• I'm grateful that I found Spiral Dynamics.
• I'm grateful for my understanding of the world through Spiral Dynamics.
• I'm grateful for so many things and I'm especially grateful for the quality of my life. Many times and despite difficulties, I feel privileged for having the life that I have.

Life is incredible, amazing. Life is a wide range of emotions, a wide range of experiences. Life is a privilege. Life deserves to be lived deeply, fully.

[Raphael]

 

 

Lolololololololooooooooooooooooooooool!

[Raphael]

You are an awesome reader.

[Raphael]

Emotions are logical. I'll even go as far as saying that emotions = logic.

[RendHeaven]

10 hours ago, Raphael said:

Emotions are logical. I'll even go as far as saying that emotions = logic.

Interesting... can you elaborate? This goes against conventional wisdom, do you think you can anticipate counterarguments and articulate why "emotions = logic" nonetheless?

[Preety_India]

 

Emotions = logic.

Only a Pisces will/can understand that.

 

Yep.

 

 

 

[Raphael]

@RendHeaven It'll come. This realization opened a goldmine of insights in me. I just need some time to think through it more and organize the ideas.

@Preety_India  Nah, cause I'm an Aries.

[Preety_India]

@Raphael oops.

But anyway. We both had the same realisation .

 

[Raphael]

Ideas of Practical Journals

• Forgiving Myself for the Pain that I Caused: will maybe create this one, not sure
• Financial Freedom: will create this one, this year
• Becoming A Social Being: not sure if I'll create this one
• Superhuman Food: not sure if I'll create this one
• Divine Masculinity: not sure if I'll create this one
• Integrating Red: not sure if I'll create this one. I thought about learning a combat sport in order to integrate Red
• Finding My Purpose: will probably not create this one

It doesn't mean that I don't work on myself if I don't create one of these journals, but just that I'm not sharing some stuff publicly. In all cases, whether I create these practical journals or not, I have an entire life of growth ahead of me.

[Raphael]

Mainstream Porn is Like Eating at McDonald.

It's just so fake, so inauthentic, it gives a very distorted view of sex. What the main pornographic companies are producing is garbage for the mind, it creates enormous self-esteem issues within men and women. I feel like I might vomit one day if I continue watching this. Enter "intimate sex" on PornHub and you'll find healthier videos. Normal people with normal bodies having healthy sexual intercourse. The channel "Kate Marley" healthily shows what intimacy should be in a couple.

[Raphael]

Had so many thoughts one day that my brain exploded. Felt great.

[Raphael]

@Raphael I have some questions for you, please take some time to contemplate them:

• Why do you always stop so quickly?
• Why do you change your focus so quickly?
• Why do you feel so easily discouraged in the face of challenges?
• Why does pessimism comes so quickly when you face challenges?
• What don't you push through things more?
• Why do you feel some tears coming up when you sometimes focus intensely to overcome the challenges?

Take this seriously, it's important. Let me know your answers when you're ready. Thank you.

[Raphael]

27 minutes ago, Raphael said:

@Raphael I have some questions for you, please take some time to contemplate them:

• Why do you always stop so quickly?
• Why do you change your focus so quickly?
• Why do you feel so easily discouraged in the face of challenges?
• Why does pessimism comes so quickly when you face challenges?
• What don't you push through things more?
• Why do you feel some tears coming up when you sometimes focus intensely to overcome the challenges?

Take this seriously, it's important. Let me know your answers when you're ready. Thank you.

Why are you asking why?

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Why are you asking why?

You know why. Why this defensiveness?

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Why this defensiveness?

Because I'm afraid.

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Because I'm afraid.

What are you afraid of?

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

What are you afraid of?

My power.

[Raphael]

Just now, Raphael said:

My power.

Exactly.

You know that you are deeply strong and powerful, so powerful that this is difficult to handle. We've told you to be kind and submit, yet this doesn't resonate with the deep power that you have inside you. You've hidden your power so much because you were afraid of showing it. You know that this power is strong, so strong that it scares the shit out of people, so strong that it can shake the world.

[Raphael]

Why do I always have two conflicting sub personalities? (My father self and my mother self)

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Why do I always have two conflicting sub personalities? (My father self and my mother self)

Because they've never been able to build a bridge to communicate together. Because they never merged together.