Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Are Some Biases Unavoidable?

I wonder a bit if someone can ever be completely clean or if we all have a small kernel of it. Having a small kernel of it doesn't necessarily mean that we hate someone, but just that we have some preferences and can be uncomfortable with the unknown. Being uncomfortable isn't something only related to how we deal with other people, but just an aspect of life. Being uncomfortable with the unknown applies to any new thing that we try to do or that we try to open to.

One day I told my mom that I would like to visit countries like Iraq, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan and she told me that she was a bit afraid of all these countries. I don't consider my mom racist, it's just that we hear so much catastrophic news from some areas of the world that it gets internalized, and that we develop a bit of fear. I remember speaking to a guy one day, then he told me that he was from Syria, I didn't have any thoughts at the moment but noticed a tiny fearful reaction in my body and suddenly became a bit uncomfortable. How would you deal if you meet someone that comes from an area where we hear a lot of catastrophic news from? Would you be normal? Experience some micro fears? A lot of fear? How would be if you ever visit one of those places that are at risk? Would you be a hippie spreading love to everyone or be realistic? Sometimes, depending on the situation there is a need to discriminate. It doesn't mean hating people, it just means taking the necessary precautions because an environment has some features that make it dangerous. However, this can be twisted and people that are racists can justify some behavior where there is no real danger and project their hate. Balance here is obtained through high awareness.

I want to finish this post on the following statement: cultural preferences are unavoidable, it doesn't mean being racist, but everyone has cultural biases no matter how enlightened they are. Just look at yourself:

• What language do you speak? English? It is a cultural bias and you discriminate against other languages.
• What food do you eat? The food that you eat is a cultural bias.
• What music do you listen too? What is your cultural preference regarding music?
• What movies, TV shows, YouTube videos do you watch? This is highly dependent on the environment that you developed in. You have a bias and discriminate against other movies, TV shows, and videos just because some resources looks more familiar.
• What kind of clothes do you wear? Why don't you wear clothes that people wear from the other side of the planet? Why do you prefer some clothes rather than other clothes? You have a cultural bias regarding clothing.
• How is your body language? Your body language is shaped a certain way and this is caused by the culture that you live in. Different cultures have different body languages. You have body language biases.
• How do you breathe? Yes, how do you breathe? Your culture even has an impact on how you breathe, how you inhale and exhale oxygen. You have a breathing bias.

These examples are here to put awareness that some cultural biases are impossible to transcend. Even an enlightened Yogi that deconstructed the entire universe has some cultural biases, for example, he needs to use language to communicate and cannot learn all languages. Some biases are here for survival purposes and to properly function in life. It's possible to be aware of healthy biases and unhealthy biases. If a language is widely used and provides all the tools to properly express emotions in life, then having a preference for this language is fine. Healthy biases are backed up by positive emotions and integration of aspects of life while reducing human suffering, unhealthy biases (such as racism) are backup by fears and inappropriate judgments.

[Raphael]

• https://www.thenextevolution.com
• Spiral Dynamics Assessment: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ESn4OqltaEG7uMbplrs8UUkVnFT-fbTD6P06PBPn8tw/edit#gid=143712625

[Raphael]

The ones who are the more needy for relationships are the ones who have the most catastrophic relationships.

[Raphael]

Hey, you! I love you unconditionally no matter how you are.

[soos_mite_ah]

On 4/28/2021 at 1:31 PM, Raphael said:

I want to finish this post on the following statement: cultural preferences are unavoidable, it doesn't mean being racist, but everyone has cultural biases no matter how enlightened they are. Just look at yourself:

• What language do you speak? English? It is a cultural bias and you discriminate against other languages.
• What food do you eat? The food that you eat is a cultural bias.
• What music do you listen too? What is your cultural preference regarding music?
• What movies, TV shows, YouTube videos do you watch? This is highly dependent on the environment that you developed in. You have a bias and discriminate against other movies, TV shows, and videos just because some resources looks more familiar.
• What kind of clothes do you wear? Why don't you wear clothes that people wear from the other side of the planet? Why do you prefer some clothes rather than other clothes? You have a cultural bias regarding clothing.
• How is your body language? Your body language is shaped a certain way and this is caused by the culture that you live in. Different cultures have different body languages. You have body language biases.
• How do you breathe? Yes, how do you breathe? Your culture even has an impact on how you breathe, how you inhale and exhale oxygen. You have a breathing bias.

These examples are here to put awareness that some cultural biases are impossible to transcend. Even an enlightened Yogi that deconstructed the entire universe has some cultural biases, for example, he needs to use language to communicate and cannot learn all languages. Some biases are here for survival purposes and to properly function in life. It's possible to be aware of healthy biases and unhealthy biases. If a language is widely used and provides all the tools to properly express emotions in life, then having a preference for this language is fine. Healthy biases are backed up by positive emotions and integration of aspects of life while reducing human suffering, unhealthy biases (such as racism) are backup by fears and inappropriate judgments.

I don't think those are biases tbh. They seem like simple preference and don't get me wrong it's important to be cognizant of what in your environment impacts your preferences. To me, it crosses over to bias and ego when you try to present that preference as some type of absolute truth. Like, it's ok to say "I like Chinese food." That isn't racist. But saying something like "You have to like Chinese food because it is objectively the best in the world and if you don't like it you're stupid etc." is when you dip into problematic category. Or something like speaking English is fine but when you cross over to the territory of hating other people and thinking they are less than because they don't speak English, that's when it turns into biases/ racism.   

Acknowledging preference is like acknowledging form. Form isn't always something that is egoic, toxic, or something that needs to be transcended. Honoring form can even be a way of being more in alignment because you are acknowledging the unique form of source energy you are. 

[Raphael]

On 4/29/2021 at 7:48 PM, Raphael said:

Hey, you! I love you unconditionally no matter how you are.

Don't you think that it's hypocritical regarding what you previously shared here?

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Don't you think that it's hypocritical regarding what you previously shared here?

Yes, and so what?

[Raphael]

Just now, Raphael said:

Yes, and so what?

You are a hypocrite. Do you like being a hypocrite?

[Raphael]

Just now, Raphael said:

You are a hypocrite. Do you like being a hypocrite?

This is life. People are unaware, people make mistakes, people make misjudgments. The ones who never acknowledge them stay guilty their entire life, but the ones that recognize them, accept them, become conscious, burn their karma, and make progress.

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

This is life. People are unaware, people make mistakes, people make misjudgments. The ones who never acknowledge them stay guilty their entire life, but the ones that recognize them, accept them, become conscious, burn their karma, and make progress.

Now what?

[Raphael]

1 minute ago, Raphael said:

Now what?

Now it's time for forgiveness.

[Raphael]

Father, forgive me, for what I do not know what I'm doing.

[Raphael]

2 minutes ago, Raphael said:

Father, forgive me, for what I do not know what I'm doing.

I forgive you son. You have my entire infinite love, forever.

[Raphael]

Subpersonalities

Confused by the above discussion with myself? That was a discussion with my subpersonalities. Everyone has subpersonalities. A subpersonality can be healthy or unhealthy, some exist to deal efficiently with life challenges, some can come from past traumas and shows as emotions like anger, jealousy, anxiety, hate, etc. An average person has around a dozen subpersonalities but is not aware of it.

Quote

A subpersonality is, in humanistic psychology, transpersonal psychology and ego psychology, a personality mode that activates (appears on a temporary basis) to allow a person to cope with certain types of psychosocial situations.Similar to a complex, the mode may include thoughts, feelings, actions, physiology and other elements of human behavior to self-present a particular mode that works to negate particular psychosocial situations. American transpersonal philosopher Ken Wilber and English humanistic psychologist John Rowan suggested that the average person has about a dozen subpersonalities.

Subpersonalities are able to perceive consciousness as something separate from themselves, as well as domestic image attached to these elements. Ken Wilber defined subpersonalities as "functional self-presentations that navigate particular psychosocial situations". For example, if a harsh critic responds with judgmental thoughts, anger, superior feelings, critical words, punitive action, and/or tense physiology when confronted with their own and/or others' fallibility, that is a subpersonality of the harsh critic kicking in to cope with the confrontation situation.

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Subpersonality

Quote

Sub-personalities, in transpersonal psychology, are personas or pieces of the whole of the overall personality, which have a life of their own, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, intentions and agendas. There's the rebel and the martyr, the seducer and the saboteur, the judge and the critic and a host of others, each with its own mythology, all co-existing within a person. Issues and conflict arise when the polarity of a sub-personality becomes imbalanced. When opposing tensions sets in, the mind is clouded with conflicting views, which hinders its ability to make decisions that are appropriate. How can you figure out which sub-personality/personalities are calling the shots?

...

We have many sub-personalities within us, each one of them has a story to tell. Each one views the world differently. Each one interprets the events of life differently. You need to acquaint yourself with the ones that are controlling your behavior, your thinking or your choices. Some sub-personalities are not harmful; they exist to support your well-being. Your attention needs to focus on the one/ones that constantly provoke and invoke, react and attack. These sub-personalities are hurt and angry, wounded and are in need of healing. To work with these energies requires patience and certain level of detachment in order to relate to them objectively. As mentioned above, the way you start is by identifying which sub-personality you have given power to, which one you have enabled to rule your life. You need to shift your thinking, and begin to perceive these sub-personalities as parts of you rather than 'It' being you. 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sub-personalities-whos-ca_b_447845

Edited May 1, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

They are many subpersonalities in the above conversation:

• My father self: the one who is always angry, who is perfectionist, and critical of everything.
• My mother self: the one who is kind and caring, the one who nurture, the one who understand the difficulties of life and people's imperfections.
• My defensive self: the one who defends against critics and personal attacks.
• My child self: the one who ask for help, the one who wants to be forgiven for the mistakes he mades while growing up.
• My true self: the one who deeply love everyone unconditionally and who forgive no matter what.

[Raphael]

21 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I don't think those are biases tbh. They seem like simple preference and don't get me wrong it's important to be cognizant of what in your environment impacts your preferences. To me, it crosses over to bias and ego when you try to present that preference as some type of absolute truth. Like, it's ok to say "I like Chinese food." That isn't racist. But saying something like "You have to like Chinese food because it is objectively the best in the world and if you don't like it you're stupid etc." is when you dip into problematic category. Or something like speaking English is fine but when you cross over to the territory of hating other people and thinking they are less than because they don't speak English, that's when it turns into biases/ racism.   

Acknowledging preference is like acknowledging form. Form isn't always something that is egoic, toxic, or something that needs to be transcended. Honoring form can even be a way of being more in alignment because you are acknowledging the unique form of source energy you are. 

My definition of a bias is just a preference for something over other things. I don't see a bias as necessarily toxic or egotistical. Someone can have a low or strong preference that can be healthy and justified and someone can have a low or strong preference that can be unhealthy and backed by fear. In these examples, these biases aren't necessarily toxic but can be toxic if a person is not even open to considering other possibilities.

I see that Google and other online dictionaries are more aligned with your view, therefore I think I'll align on this too. So yes, they aren't biases, but preferences and they become biases when the ego is involved.

[Raphael]

Methods For Healing Complex Trauma

17 hours ago, ivankiss said:

First you need to gain some understanding on how all that trauma affected you. It affected you on all levels of being. Mental, emotional and physical. 

So what I would recommend is that you split your healing process into 3 parts. That way you will automatically gain some clarity and a sense of direction. You will eliminate the confusion on what it is that you're actually healing. You will understand where the 'disturbance' is coming from and how to respond to it.

On the mental level; you're probably experiencing hardcore cognitive dissonance. You're constantly doubting and second-guessing everything. You have difficulties with deciding anything. You lack focus and have a short attention span. Mental fog. Endless negative thought loops. Rumination. Flashbacks. Memory loss. Etc...

On the emotional level; well, pretty much everything. And sometimes all of it at once. Grief, shame, fear, guilt, sadness, anger, pity, envy, jealousy, regret, despair, devastation, loneliness, etc. Lots of anxiety and depression.

On the physical level; headaches/migraines, pain in your bones and muscles, sleeping and eating disorders, poor body posture, lack of energy, feeling burnt-out, restlessness, grinding your teeth, biting your nails, poor hygiene, various digestion problems, etc.

So here are my tips: 

1. Educate yourself 

Learn about (C)PTSD. Watch some videos, read some books. There are many great resources out there. If you've been a victim of abuse; learn about your abuser. Understand where they're coming from and why they behave the way they do. It will help you during the forgiveness phase, too.

2. Shake your body!

Oh man. I can't describe you how helpful this was when I started practicing it. You see; your nervous system is on fire. It's inflated. It's basically freaking out all the time, while you're trying to act cool and remain calm. So do this every morning, first thing - as soon as you get up from your bed. Before you even brush your teeth or go to the toilet. Set your timer on 5 minutes and just randomly shake your whole body. Really get into it. This will pull you out of your head a bit and connect you to your breath and body. It will release some of that negative energy.

3. Stretch 

There is a lot of tension stored in your body. Doing a full-body stretch or even some yoga can help you release a lot of that tension. It can ground and center you. Anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes is great.

4. Hot/cold showers 

Obviously good for your blood flow. It's like a nice reset button. Showers can both energize and relax you.

5. Candle meditation

There are many forms of meditation. I found this one to be most beneficial during this period. It helps you with your focus, concentration and your attention span. Simply sit in a completely dark room and stare at the candlelight for at least 15 minutes. Whenever you notice yourself getting lost in thought; bring your attention back onto the flame and your breathing.

6. Screaming into a bucket full of water 

Another gem right here. I figured this out when I was in such deep pain that I simply didn't know what to do with myself. The only way out was screaming on the top of my lungs. I didn't want my neighbors to hear me, so I came up with this solution. It helped a lot. Not only when I was in pain, but also when I was numb and couldn't connect to my emotions at all. Watching the water being drained once you're done can be very therapeutic, too. You can imagine all your pain and trauma flowing away with the water. The only thing you have to be careful with when using this method is not to harm your voice. 

7. Punch some pillows

Ideally; you'd have access to a punching bag... But if you don't; a few pillows can work too. There's a lot of anger and frustration stored in your body. Gotta let it out somehow. Summon all those nasty feelings and punch the shit out of something. Maybe even curse at it a bit. You'll feel better.

8. Walk

A nice 30 minute walk can do a lot. Let alone a 2hr walk. Even if you have no motivation to do absolutely anything... Try forcing yourself to go for a walk everyday. Let that be the one thing you must accomplish. It will help you put the rest of your day in a perspective. It will provide you with some mental space and clarity. Your body will be thankful, too.

9. Jogging/working out 

In a sense; this is on a higher level already. I know damn well it's impossible to get yourself to workout or run in your darkest hour. That's why shaking your body is a nice link in-between. So once you do gain some strength and motivation you can hit that gym or develop a workout routine at home. The benefits are  pretty obvious.

10. ASMR

Oh boy do I love these. I pretty much listen to ASMR videos every night before I fall asleep. Your main focus during the healing process should be on relaxing your entire system. And this stuff is incredibly soothing. Find the videos that you like the most and make a nice little relaxation routine. These are my two favorite YT channels;

https://youtu.be/pYuljjR_6Fc

https://youtu.be/-TbhTHeKBSQ

11. Binaural Beats

Yet another way to soothe and massage the mind.

12. Cry. A lot.

I cannot tell you how many times I felt like shit throughout my whole day just because I was avoiding those tears. This is the meat and potatoes of your healing process. It's how you release all that stuff you've been suppressing. It's how you make peace with whatever happened. It's how you forgive yourself or anyone else. In tears.

Sometimes it can be difficult to connect with that part of you. You wanna cry but you just can't. This is where the screaming into a bucket method can help you, too. Once you scream it all out; those tears will come. But also; music can trigger you into crying too. Not just any kind of music, of course. So choose wisely. Make a sad playlist that speaks to you. Here's some music that hits the spot for me;

https://youtu.be/os5Z-rtQitE - this whole album is just incredible. Very deep. Very therapeutic. Here's the whole thing;

https://youtu.be/IFhc-bmcgI8

https://youtu.be/np2HtyhjUhY - another gem

https://youtu.be/u4XevlloPY4 - and another one

https://youtu.be/ycYewhiaVBk - and another one

13. Breathwork 

I'd say this is essential to the healing process. You can trigger a lot by simply breathing consciously for longer periods of time. You can also learn how to locate the trauma in your body and slowly breathe your way through it. I'd recommend you find some videos on YouTube and follow along. It will be easier for you not to get lost in thought and maintain a steady rhythm.

14. Talk therapy 

This can be another great option. If you find someone that resonates with you and you can open up yourself to them freely; that would help a lot. Simply talking it all out can make a huge difference. And if you pay a professional; it's their job to listen. They do not get involved emotionally like your friends or family might. So it will be much easier for you to feel heard and understood. Preferably, find someone who's specialized in this area.

15. Be creative 

Try finding a way to turn your thoughts and feelings into something. A way to express yourself. I know it can be extremely difficult. Trust me - I've been making music for 15 years, non stop. But when this stuff hit me; I could not do shit. I could not even begin to articulate all those thoughts and feelings, let alone translate them into a song... But I sure tried. It was all crap and I never finished what I started writing...But it was something. I was being creative - and that's the only thing that mattered. If you don't already have something; try picking up a new thing. Sketch, paint, write... Whatever allows you to express yourself.

16. Socialize

It can be tempting to completely isolate yourself and cut off all connections while you're going through this. And while on some point that may be beneficial or even necessary... In the long run it will do you more harm than good. So start interacting with people. You don't have to let anyone too close or open yourself too much... Just do the basic, surface - level stuff, here and there. It will energize you and give you a broader perspective.

17. CBD Oil and Oxytocin 

I have yet to put my hands onto these, but I hear great things. CBD is great for relaxing your system. I'd suggest you get the non-psychoactive version. Oxytocin is basically known as the 'love hormone', and if you've been traumatized; your system needs this stuff. I'd suggest you to be very careful with supplements though. Know what you're taking.

Edited May 1, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I will watch this later.

 

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: The Mixed-Race Experience

I want to share about my experience of being a mixed race individual.

I am a mixed-race person of Indian and French ancestry and I'm also a bi-national person as I have Mauritian and French nationalities. I have two identity cards, one passport, I can live in two different countries without having any issues regarding the law, and therefore can get services from two different governments. My experience of being mixed-race caused me a lot of personal struggles in life, many questioning, and also provided me some advantages and disadvantages.

The oldest memory that I have of me becoming aware that I was mixed race was when I was maybe 2 or 3 years old. I remember that I was in the garden with my mom, my sister, and a way older cousin. This cousin started to compare my sister's skin color and mine and trying to find who was more similar to who. I didn't understand what she was trying to do back then, but from my current understanding, it was just a way to create a cultural identity for surviving within a society. This kind of comparison didn't happen to me just one time but happened throughout my entire life. When we are mixed race, people have some amusement in trying to put us in a category. This caused me some existential questioning when I was a kid. I thought: "So... I'm not black, I'm not white, I'm not Indian... so what am I?". It was very confusing. Because of this, I felt sliced in half most of my life, and sometimes more than in half.

I felt socially alienated from a young age because I couldn't relate to anyone. I wasn't able to identify with any group of people. Most people have a culture that they feel pretty close to, I personally never felt that in my entire life. I never felt a huge need to identify, defend, or reject any culture, but of course, I did develop some more subtle identities... However, even if it was a struggle to fit it, being who am I also contributed to my awareness, my desire for self-actualization, and my desire to understand the world. As a kid, I quickly became aware that something was wrong with cultures. I saw people discussing and making comparisons and by being in the middle I became aware that people stay stuck on words and symbols without understanding the structural similarities. I thought that it was incredibly smart for supposed grown-up adults... Then I thought: "Well... looks like all cultures are BS. Let's not have any cultural identity, it's better to stay lucid".

As a mixed-race person, I feel at the same time a bit closer to everyone and disconnected from everyone:

• I can understand a bit what it's like to be privileged because I experienced some privileges in my life, but not as many privileges as if I was completely white. My family never had that much money, it is an average family in the country where I live, but a poor family compared to first-world standards. My dad was a vendor on beaches, he would walk all day on beaches to sell stuff with tourists where my mom was a housewife. The situation with money was sometimes quite chaotic as they were periods with a lot of tourists and periods without that many tourists. My dad always had a lot of anxiety regarding money until Covid killed his career and he finally retreated. One day when I was around 3 or 4, my mom got a call from the French embassy telling her that I could go to some high-quality expensive private schools. She responded that it wasn't possible because we didn't have that much money, then the person told her that the French government would provide a scholarship for me because I had French nationality. Magically, some high-quality schools became accessible for me. From 4 to 18 years old, I had my entire education financed by the French government, and from 18 to 20, I also had other scholarships from the French government that allowed me to study in France. I'm honestly grateful for this because if I didn't have this chance I would have been beaten and humiliated by teachers in the public school system. It would have damaged me a lot and would have limited my possibility to develop complex thinking and to self-actualize. By looking at other people and other young people around me, I can see that many of them carry a lot of traumas. They aren't able to make the connexion between their difficulties in life and their traumas and don't even know what a trauma is. I'm grateful that I never had to deal with the trauma of being beaten by teachers at school, but of course, I had other childhood traumas from school.
• I can understand a bit what it's like to be a white person traveling the world and dealing with people. It happened to me to have people walking to me because they thought that I was rich as fuck, and begging me, following me to get some money that I didn't have. That can be a bit annoying.
• I can emphasize with what it's like to be a person of color in a white majority country because I experienced that and had white people making jokes on me because they perceived me as a person of color. They tried to label me as black, Indian, Muslim, or whatever would fit their cultural survival agenda.
• I can emphasize with the fear of interacting with the police in the United States as a person of color even though I never experienced that and never had that many issues with any police.
• I understand what it's like to be a minority. I'm a minority and I will be a minority in any social group no matter where I go because almost nobody on the planet has a similar cultural and biological heritage. I can emphasize with what it's like to be a person of color in a white majority country, or what it's like to be a Uyghur in China or a Rohingya in Myanmar, or a Muslim in India. The intensity of my experience is sure way lower, but I can still emphasize a bit with the emotional difficulty of being seen as different and the pain of being questioned or discriminated on the basis of physical appearance.
• I can understand what it's like to be exploited because I experienced a bit of that. I worked in an offshore company in the past. I saw no other purpose for this company's existence rather than profiting from poor people. I was working 35 - 40 hours per week and was paid 500$/month during the first year, then after a year got a raise to 600$/month. I only had money to pay the rent, some bills, a gym membership, and quality food (fortunately). I wasn't saving that much. In the past I also had a boss from a first-world country that I worked with without being declared, I was paid 500$/month (or less sometimes). One day I asked him if we could create a contract in order to be aligned with the law, he told me that if we do this he would have to pay some fees and therefore would have to cut it from my salary. What a joke. I only had money to survive and wasn't saving that much. While doing freelancing, I worked with a guy that gave me the excuse that because I wasn't living in a first-world country he could pay me less for my services. He didn't pay me that much and one time didn't even pay me for my work. I sometimes clearly had a feeling of white domination from these experiences and also experienced a bit of exploitation from other people as the last person was an Indian living in Australia. Anyone exploits who it can in the end.
• Even if I feel that I can relate a bit to everyone, I also feel highly different from everyone because almost nobody shares the background that I have. I just cannot fit into any culture, it has always been impossible for me. When I see people arguing about cultures, I'm often like: "Ugh... What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? If I say something, the other person will react against my side that he/she perceives as being different from him/her. If I don't say anything, people will blame me for not participating. If I go meta... wait... nobody goes meta so it's useless to try to explain anything to people.". Most people (stage blue/orange) rarely think about that, for most of them, it's just that some people are great because they are like this and other people aren't great because they are like that. Ok... I'm stereotyping here, the reality is always more nuanced, but I still consider that they are many trues to this.

I personally very rarely got direct racists insults, but mostly projections, subtle jokes, and questions. I think that it's because I have been very solitary most of my life. I never shared a lot about myself and never had that many friends.

I had moments in life where I felt more like a person of color and moments where I felt more like a white person. Until 18, I think I felt more like a person of color, however, while living in Europe I felt more like a white person... And now... I'm not sure anymore... maybe a white person because I feel privileged. Also, my skin tone is currently rather light because I stay inside most of the time, but it can darken pretty fast when I stay under the sun.

This mixed-race condition is an existential condition to handle. I had people walking to me just to ask me for my origins, I often feel like I attract eyes. People's perception of me changes a lot: if I'm in a white majority country, I can be perceived as black, Indian, Muslim, etc. However, I did notice that some white people can also perceive me as white or as someone from the middle-east. This is strange... If I'm in a POC majority country, I'm perceived as white. It's annoying to be questioned everywhere I go — even in my country of origin —, but it's not necessarily racist. Sometimes, people are just curious and ask questions. One of the advantages though is that I have been told many times that I look extremely good. I'm always surprised by this because I have been insecure about my body for my entire life as I never had a strong, large, masculine muscular body, but a very skinny body. Many people criticized me and made fun of me for being that skinny when I was a kid... Well.. apparently now I look good... life is strange.

Even if I have been able to perceive the world from a privileged white perspective and from an under-privileged person of color perspective, I overall see the world from my own individual lens. Being how I am is at the same time a blessing and a curse. I'm grateful for it because it allowed me to open my mind and question everything, but it's also a bit difficult to deal with and I will have to deal with it my entire life because the planet will not completely turn green in the next 50 years.

[Raphael]

The Ecosystem of You

I'm putting this here as something to read for later.

• https://www.thenextevolution.com/2015/08/28/the-ecosystem-of-you-infographic/
• https://www.thenextevolution.com/presentations/ecosystem-of-you-presentation/