JohnIsDoe

I CHEATED ON MY GF!!:((

35 posts in this topic

Many people here seem to think that what you see as freedom is freedom.
What you see as freedom is just your distortion of true freedom. Everyone has his own distortion of it. If your freedom is to go have sex with everyone that comes your way while you girlfriend is sitting at home crying, that is surely not freedom for me. If your girlfriend on the other hand has her fun aswell as you have, that's great, I can agree that is freedom. 
For me true freedom is, true love, when I can fully express all of my being in the relationship, when I don't have to repress anything and so can she, if there is something inside me or her that wants us to have sex with someone else, this primal instinct, mating sex, there is a reason for that, which can be dealt with if you look into your inner being, it would be healed in no time with bonding sex.
From my perspective your way of freedom is just being a horny animal, if you want to be an animal, that's fine, but I think you are on the wrong path, this path is for people who want to transcend all of that, but maybe your path is not about that and I respect that.

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7 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

For me true freedom is, true love

Possessiveness destroys love. Out of that fear of the future, you become very possessive. Because you depend on the other, possessiveness arises, out of fear. "Who knows? , the other is with me today, tomorrow he may not be with me. You create a bondage around the person you think you love. But love cannot create a prison. Love has never known anything of jealousy. 

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2 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Possessiveness destroys love. Out of that fear of the future, you become very possessive. Because you depend on the other, possessiveness arises, out of fear. "Who knows? , the other is with me today, tomorrow he may not be with me. You create a bondage around the person you think you love. But love cannot create a prison. Love has never known anything of jealousy. 

Indeed, possessiveness destroys love, I am not talking about possessiveness.
True love is only in the now, it is not in the future, because the future is a fantasy. Same goes for the past, past is a thought.
You don't depend on the other in true love, both cups are filled from within and sharing the beauty of overflowing love.
If the other leaves, you still have your cup fully filled with self-love.
This is not about jealousy, it is about giving a 100% of your being for your partner, only this way true love can work, there is no 99% in true love.
Full devotion and compassion for the other, out of freedom, out of self-love.

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3 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

it is about giving a 100% of your being for your partner, only this way true love can work

When you are interested in a man or a woman, there is always a possibility that once in a while you can become interested in a person other than your partner. Giving a 100% of your being for your partner is possible when you have reached divinity, when your meditation is ripened, otherwise man is by nature polygamous.

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17 hours ago, zoey101 said:

As a woman who fights through sexual anxiety and insecurity daily

 

17 hours ago, zoey101 said:

If I found out my husband cheated on me, it would destroy every bit of confidence I have left, which is not much.

i healed my sexual insecurity / lack of confidence by giving up on trying to hold any kind of self image. give up on trying to build confidence and then it happens.

as long as you keep on trying to live to please others, you'll suffer from the same issue.


unborn truth

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Everyone on this fucking post, 'Don't worry about it all men are polygamous that's fine', facepalm and cringe overload. Sometimes I think some of you on here are just here to troll people and not answer their questions honestly and seriously.

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2 minutes ago, Light Lover said:

honestly and seriously

Repent of your sins and turn to God

Enter the church and take your seat ...

Enter the confessional. ...

Follow the priest's lead. ...

Confess your sins. ...

Listen as the priest offers counsel. ...

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8 hours ago, ajasatya said:

 

i healed my sexual insecurity / lack of confidence by giving up on trying to hold any kind of self image. give up on trying to build confidence and then it happens.

as long as you keep on trying to live to please others, you'll suffer from the same issue.

Yeah, I try, but it's hard when your partner tends to be a little impatient and has a much higher labido :/ I'm working on it though, I am trying. 

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12 hours ago, zoey101 said:

Yeah, I try, but it's hard when your partner tends to be a little impatient and has a much higher labido :/ I'm working on it though, I am trying. 

i have the EXACT same problem! my boyfriend is impatient too and wants to have sex a lot. and i still cant finish off with him yet and he already told me that he's scared that we'll have problems in the future because we'll both feel unsatisfied in a way. (we've only been together for 3 months)

 

20 hours ago, ajasatya said:

i healed my sexual insecurity / lack of confidence by giving up on trying to hold any kind of self image.

did you do this through meditation?

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5 hours ago, moon777light said:

i have the EXACT same problem! my boyfriend is impatient too and wants to have sex a lot. and i still cant finish off with him yet and he already told me that he's scared that we'll have problems in the future because we'll both feel unsatisfied in a way. (we've only been together for 3 months)

It can be a bit too much pressure :/ guys don't understand.. I think part of the issue is the built up fantasy they get from porn. Sex addicted doll is pretty hard to live up to :( especially once you have a child and it's hard to just find the time.

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22 hours ago, moon777light said:

did you do this through meditation?

meditation + being aware of thoughts patterns that try to sustain self-image beliefs


unborn truth

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Bro, you're just going to have accept what you did and most likely be honest with her. Because she will want an explanation of why you're breaking up and lying is definitely not the way to go.

Next time, try communicating your issues with your partner. It's okay to want sex, but she's gotta know that you want bad enough that you're practically ready to cheat on her for it.

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On 7/28/2018 at 11:13 AM, Prabhaker said:

man is by nature polygamous.

You say man's nature is to polygamous, but ignore that man's nature is also to be possessive and jealous. 

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From my experience with cheating on my long-term ex-boyfriend, it's best if you either break it off now or tell the truth now if you want to stay with her and hope that she can forgive you (which could happen, you just need to put a lot of work in to mend the relationship after that). An important factor is deciding swiftly and not wasting any more time because you're already to the point of feeling guilt and shame. If you continue to stay with her and don't tell her, more guilt/shame/unhappiness will start to creep into your life slowly but surely. Just remember to act with integrity, the truth always wins one way or another. Don't make the same mistake I did and keep it bottled inside for three years after the fact.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.


"Move and the way will open."
– Zen Proverb

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