AilinKyung

Can Men And Women Be "just Friends"?

35 posts in this topic

men do have sex on the mind

Edited by AilinKyung

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No.

I am 45. I have lived enough.... observing myself and my friends....I have had a male friend, 100% plutonic, since 1st grade.  I do not feel men and women can have a true friendship.  In a brief response, basically,there is always some subtle "thing", that makes it not good enough...(maybe male ego). I dont know...

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Yes, absolutely. Why would they not?

I think it's quiet immature/low conciousness to think that people with differing genitals are unable to form friendships.

Also there's is nothing "just" about a true friendship. A true friendship (ie not the crappy surface level friendships most people have) are very deep and intimate.

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@AilinKyung I say so, but at all times there's a chance the other person might be sexually attracted, therefore the known friendzone...

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Yes it's possible, but rare. Most of the time it doesn't work. And I prefer guys over women as friends because of several reasons. For me, women are for dating and relationship only. Once in a while tho, a female will come along who you don't want to fuck, but she is an amazing being and a kickass friend, not as shallow and annoying like all the other girls. Then it's ok.

Most women will be vampires, only sucking your enegry out and whoring for benefits, comfort and attention, giving nothing in return. If you want to keep women as friends, look for those who give equally as you in return and who aren't vampires. I have one female friend who is simply amazing, and she helps me a lot and has always a lot to give. With her I can grow and advance in life, and I help her grow and advance in return. No drama, no bullshit, no crying around. I'm not her emotional tampon, and that's what you want to look for. It's much easier to find guys like this, this is why most of the time you rather have guys as friends.

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@cly maybe male ego lol...maybe YOUR ego. Think about it. Other than that, yeah it's often not as deep, and it seems like something is missing. I agree

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@AilinKyung I told it's only rarely possible, but it's not because men are evil horny monsters. Women are just as horny and want sex as much too. Read my first reply itt again

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Just now, AilinKyung said:

Just because sex exists in our psyche and culture and is sometimes reflected in our interactions with one another does not in any way mean that men and women cannot be friends and hold and cultivate healthy relationships with one another. Our psychology is incredibly complex and there are many different forms of intimacy, many of them platonic. This idea that men (or women) are always "out to get" one another and that everything is a competition comes from wounded egos with some less-than-stellar past experiences.

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A bit off-topic since this is about couples and not platonic friendships, but I think this buzzfeed video I saw recently is an example that men and women have pretty similar experiences when it comes to sex, this victim-mentality and gender blaming originates from dysfunctional and broken relationships and negative past experiences.

 

 

 

Edited by Neill Bolton

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I think that a lot of men and women are very immature and probably couldn't sustain a friendship with someone of the opposite gender... but this is a sign of repression and low consciousness. If you really look at people beyond your own ideas about gender, you will notice that there is a natural ebb and flow of masculine and feminine energy in every single person in varying degrees. So, we are all androgynous; some moreso than others. People with a resistance to friendship with or sexual obsession with a particular gender have a resistance to their own contrapositive energy. Men who have resistance to their feminine nature cannot sustain a friendship with women, so sexuality becomes the only means of connection. Women who have a resistance to their masculine nature cannot sustain a friendship with men, so sexuality becomes the only means of connection. So, sexuality becomes a deep thirst and crippling need for people in this state. A healthy, fully integrated person can have deep friendships with others because they have made friends with themselves. Sexuality can be enjoyed as a beautiful connection in a state of wholeness and not just a way to put a Band-Aid over the inner wounds caused by the splitting off of the contrapositive energy.

Edited by Emerald Wilkins

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Friendship exists. But the term "frendship" itself  is quite muddy. Where is this boundary between "friendship" and "non-friendship"? This is a made up term. You can have sex and still be friends, you can have sex and hate each other, you can create deep connection without sex ( crazy shit, huh?). I think sex can't be reliable variable for measuring level of relationship, this is sorta it's own thing.

There are a lot of desperate people out there, who see every person as potential sex partner. Of course in these circumstances it's hard to imagine, that you can just... relate to people, allow them being in your presence, not necessary put labels or oversexualise this whole thing. I was like that and I thought " What's the point in dealing with them, if I can't fuck them?" lol. Pretty low-conscious.

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Really interesting question.

I would say that if the guy is no attracted to a girl whatsoever, then he won't be interested in being friends with her.

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15 hours ago, AilinKyung said:

@Sarah_Flagg Because men are sexual creatures

...as opposed to women which are not... ? :D 

LOL 


Ayla,

www.aylabyingrid.com

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