Why I Don't Do, What I Have To Do? (Developing Discipline)

[Phill]

Hey guys I have been thinking about this, the subject of, why I don't do what I have to do?

I did some contemplation on that, and on my own perception, which might be missing a few or a lot is that:

 

1) I am addicted, hooked to something

2) I cannot control my urges, that leads me to little self control

3) The addictions/habits desires are bigger than the proposed goals desires

4) What I think I want to do, isn't really what I really want to do (lack of self knowledge)

 

Does any one knows any strategies to deal with these 4 specifically? Any of Leo's videos that explains something about that?

Overall I am just trying to discover how to develop discipline, I feel that mine is very weak and I don't do the action often times. Any ideas on how to?

 

Thanks!

 

[Cepzeu]

I was recently dealing with this as well, there were a bunch of things I had to do and I had to force myself to do them otherwise I would slip into procrastination and time-wasting addictions. Here is what helped me:

1. Be very clear with your top 3 goals. Not so much about how you will accomplish something but what it is you want to accomplish and why. I found that a lot of the time I was simply dabbling in a bunch of random activities without focus which led to me to moving nowhere. 

2. Minimise your lifestyle drastically (see Leo's video Lifestyle Minimalism). This helps remove distractions, if your mind is all over the place it will be difficult to focus on the same thought/goal for any longer than a minute. This again led me to think about a bunch of different things and procrastinate, not achieving any of them (this is why it's important to focus on a small number of goals such as 3). 

3. Try and practice awareness throughout the day. What I do is a set an alarm on my phone every 2 hours that's quite faint but still audible. When I hear it, it reminds me to stop what I'm doing and become present to the moment - very helpful for beating procrastination e.g. mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds.

The above things will help to move past your first 3 sticking points, you are partly addicted and have little self control because you are not clear about you goals (this is important). This overwhelms your mind with other less important distractions and you end up addicted to being distracted. Bringing in the awareness aspect will help you catch yourself when you unconsciously begin doing your habits. The problem is not that your addictions are bigger than the goals, it's that you are exposed to them more frequently throughout the day by things such as phone notifications and distractions lying around the house.

About your 4th point, you will not know if what you want to do is really what you want to do by thinking about it. The best thing I found for myself is to actually do it and then see if it was something I liked doing or not. Often times, even if I didn't particularly enjoy doing it the act of doing it to see if I did actually want to do it was far more satisfying than sitting and thinking about it.

Once you focus on what you want (and keep it firmly in your mind, by reminding yourself of it often), and take steps to start doing it (even by doing it for 1 minute as an exercise for starting an activity) the discipline will come naturally. Forcing discipline is very unlikely to work!

My 2 cents, hope they help. I have some of Leo's video's that this is combined from but I don't think sharing them will help you much, it may cause you to stay where you are, in a state of non-focus. If you really want I can say them, just reply in the below post but ask yourself if you really need them.

Edited December 18, 2017 by Cepzeu

[d0ornokey]

for addictions watch:

understanding awareness

awareness is curative 

learning = observation 

you cure an addiction with awareness believe it or not. he has some practical steps of what you can do to clear the addiction 

[egoeimai]

@Phill no its a trap. I think that YOU ARE disciplined enough and never believe otherwise, especially don' believe that you don't want it enough, its a lie. You want it but probably you're not ready yet.it'll come, trust me I had the same issue. There's nothing wrong with you just remember that 

[Girzo]

Discipline comes from having a strong purpose and knowing the results your actions will make. Have a clear vision where you want to get and trust that you are competent enough to achieve that goal. Whatever it might be. Awareness is also helpful, because it will guide you towards the right direction or at least show that whatever you are doing right now doesn't work (I mean addictions here).

[Faceless]

Real Discipline is only when will is not. It doesn’t suppress, or does fear influence it in anyway. 

 

“It is not discipline first and then freedom; freedom is at the very beginning, not at the end.”

                                            Jk 

[krish]

I just created a new topic on this...Hope it may help. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@Phill You need to realize that there is no substitute for action.

How do you develop discipline?

You just fucking do it.

You take that lazy ego and you force it to submit, like a dog.

And if you are too lazy to do that. That is it. You're stuck forever.

[krish]

@Leo Gura I guess the problem with people wanting to change habits and not doing it is because they think it is a big task. Is it not? I just posted a new topic "Developing New Habits with ease" on this subject. I am interested to know your comments.

krish

[Joyboy]

Life will teach you to the point you do or die. From a kindly remind to the slap on your face then the kick on your ass, you know, the degree of pain is gonna increase  

[Joseph Maynor]

1.  How you earn your living is not properly tied to your authentic strengths and values.

2.  You are stuck in the comfort-mentality.

3.  You don’t yet know about all the Self-Help theory that you could be using.

4.  You don’t really know much about the Authentic-Self and what it is strong in and what it values.

5.  You don’t really have a long-term juicy vision for your life that is calculated to make you happier and happier as time goes on.

If you haven’t started working on it — start working on Leo’s Life Purpose Course without delay.  You’ll hit all of these bullet-points in that course. 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Joseph Maynor

[Psyche_92]

You just do it. At the start it's going to hurt, but then it becomes kind of fun. Over time you can make a game of it to challenge yourself.