Unconditional Love?

[Shubham]

unconditional love is for someone who becomes a part of your subconscious mind...

you know how subconscious mind works.... It works with emotions... And pumping heart....

why being in love...

you would know yourself better if you let someone pass through you completely...

without ego shield... ?

you would know your deepest wounds which you were hiding since years...

and then when you do personal development... You heal yourself better... And become more self honest....

unconditionally loving:- this could be challenging... This would mean in most cases the other partner is into you with same intensity...

here rises a question... What about one sided unconditional love... Hmm..

there is no one sided unconditional love in my opinion...

cuz the other partner must have sensed the selfishness of your love...

and you maybe deluding yourself...on that point...

true subconscious love is an unconditional love... Or true conscious one...

in either cases it can be true love....

peace?

[Sarah Marie]

12 hours ago, Avi said:

Here is my question on "true love" and maybe @Sarah_Flagg and @MIA.RIVEL can chime in on this because I feel they are both very knowledgeable on this topic. 

Can you love someone who is not faithful to you? In other words, in order for me to love you, you need to be sexually faithful and emotionally connected to only me, and if you're not then I can't love you. It seems like I'm holding my love hostage or I'm being selfish with my love if I or someone else does that. But is that what true love is? If I truly loved every aspect of them and they wanted to go be emotional connected and/or sexually with other people then I should be just as happy, loving, and supportive. This sounds crazy but this is what has been coming to me these past couple days when I've been meditating. 

I guess it comes down to each persons personal definition? 

Sorry it took me so long to respond, been one hell of a day. 

This is something I've been thinking of as well. Up until this forum I felt very strongly that I might be interested in an open marriage or a poly situation. Then, someone mentioned my ego, which could possibly be the cause instead of my inner awareness like I thought. I've been thinking and completely honest with myself and I feel the same as you. IF I had every emotional, sexual, physical need met through one partner then I wouldn't be interested in an open marriage or poly. Up until this forum I didn't realize it was possible to have one person fulfill a relationship. Now, if this was a core value of someone I truly loved and wanted to be with I think I could learn be open to it again. For me though, if it were to happen that my partner wanted this I would have to be at a certain point in the relationship. 

I don't know what true love is in a realtionship.

The only person I have loved unconditionally is my son. I do feel with the right person I would also love them unconditionally. 

[jimboJones]

Hi @Makkatya,

I believe its' possible. A specific type of meditation called loving-kindness (Metta in Buddhism) can create this feeling. Basically you meditate, starting by wishing a close friend (not romantic love) "may you be happy, may you be free from suffering, may you live with ease, may you be free from danger." You to this for some time and then direct those statements towards a neutral person, someone you don't know very well but neither like nor dislike. Then when you can move that same well wishing, warm fuzzy feeling from your friend to the neutral person you can then direct it at an enemy. So again, "may (my enemy) be happy, may (my enemy) be free from suffering, may (my enemy) live with ease etc. This then moves to other species etc until you kindle this feeling for everyone... you get the picture https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett%C4%81.

You can also skip this process entirely and take pure MDMA and it will feel more or less the same. (But I can't condone the taking of drugs)

Importantly, an experience of non-duality/enlightenment is different than the feeling of unconditional love. But the feeling of unconditional love may appear during a non-dual experience just like any other feeling.

Best wishes.

 

Edited February 26, 2016 by jimboJones
Uploaded video that didn't really match what I was saying

[Keyblade Viking]

11 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

What the hell are you people talking about. Everything about this dualistic universe is conditional. That's what duality is. Conditional to the core. That's why it can't possibly exist. That's why truth is nondual.

And what the hell does love have to do with anything, For fucks sake get that sappy new age bullshit out of your brains and grow up.

Love is in the middle, it's a synonym for Truth and it's "out of this world", in other words it surpass the dualism and it's not simply about one person "loving" another or having a great crush on them but to just 'be' Love itself.

It's not New Age at all (altough it's certainly no fucking Old Age and thank God for that cause the old age suck lol).

3 hours ago, Shubham said:

unconditional love is for someone who becomes a part of your subconscious mind...

you know how subconscious mind works.... It works with emotions... And pumping heart....

why being in love...

you would know yourself better if you let someone pass through you completely...

without ego shield... ?

you would know your deepest wounds which you were hiding since years...

and then when you do personal development... You heal yourself better... And become more self honest....

unconditionally loving:- this could be challenging... This would mean in most cases the other partner is into you with same intensity...

here rises a question... What about one sided unconditional love... Hmm..

there is no one sided unconditional love in my opinion...

cuz the other partner must have sensed the selfishness of your love...

and you maybe deluding yourself...on that point...

true subconscious love is an unconditional love... Or true conscious one...

in either cases it can be true love....

peace?

That's extremely conditional lol, did you not see how many conditions you just wrote down?

When you can see past all that in everyone without putting any conditions on them, then it's unconditional

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

What the hell are you people talking about. Everything about this dualistic universe is conditional. That's what duality is. Conditional to the core. That's why it can't possibly exist. That's why truth is nondual.

And what the hell does love have to do with anything, For fucks sake get that sappy new age bullshit out of your brains and grow up.

You're missing an important facet of enlightenment, which is the unconditional love facet.

It's actually possible to have an enlightenment experience on love itself.

I believe you've stuck a little too closely to Jed's version of enlightenment. His version is good, but it is not complete. It is missing important facets, which are NOT just new-age mumbo-jumbo. I suggest keeping your mind open and doing deeper research into the other facets of enlightenment besides the Truth part. The most advanced teachers, sages, and yogis are in agreement on the importance the love facet of enlightenment. I know it sounds sappy, but there's actually something very deep there. It doesn't negate the Truth facet, it rounds it out.

You would be denying yourself if you neglected to explore this facet of life, along with the Truth facet.

You're not going to be able to relate in a rich and proper way to human beings until you've deeply explored enlightened love.

[Natasha]

@Pinocchio Peace.

[Anicko]

20 hours ago, Makkatya said:

Can one love unconditionally without being enlightened? 

If you are enlightened what does a relationship mean to you? Why be in one? (This is more hypothetical, but if you are I'd gladly read your wisdom.  )

Absolutely anyone can love unconditionally. The easiest example is the love parents experience for a newborn baby. 

Most of the time, something causes it to change, so it's no longer unconditional. 

As you move forward spiritually and become mindful, you get to experience it while actually paying attention to it directly. It's amazing to see the difference, and for a moment you understand what it is. 

I've not yet reached the point where I can "love it to death", as is stated by many "enlightened" people. I think the mood awake I become, the more I'll learn how to do it. 

It's the absolute basis for the forgiveness, which is something we all can do and need to do for our own health, seeking enlightenment or not. 

In a relationship, "unconditional love" is definitely not romantic love, parental love, friendly love, whatever. 

Unconditional love is what keeps you wanting that other person in your life, even when they screw up royally. You are able to understand what happened, be compassionate, forgive and not judge, leaving the other person still pure in your eyes. 

I look forward to having that love for everything in my life some day. 

[Shubham]

4 hours ago, Keyblade Viking said:

Love is in the middle, it's a synonym for Truth and it's "out of this world", in other words it surpass the dualism and it's not simply about one person "loving" another or having a great crush on them but to just 'be' Love itself.

It's not New Age at all (altough it's certainly no fucking Old Age and thank God for that cause the old age suck lol).

That's extremely conditional lol, did you not see how many conditions you just wrote down?

When you can see past all that in everyone without putting any conditions on them, then it's unconditional

yes I did and I am sorry sir?

[Keyblade Viking]

16 hours ago, Pinocchio said:

@Keyblade Viking is saying this, not Pinocchio, There really ought to be a clear button on the comment field, I can't seam to delete this quotation box but to @Shubham -  

I still love that everything don't disappear if you accidentally exit the thread but it can cause a lot of glitches too apparently cause these boxes are a bitch to get rid of sometimes lol

[Dhana Choko]

21 hours ago, Avi said:

Can you love someone who is not faithful to you? In other words, in order for me to love you, you need to be sexually faithful and emotionally connected to only me, and if you're not then I can't love you. It seems like I'm holding my love hostage or I'm being selfish with my love if I or someone else does that. But is that what true love is? If I truly loved every aspect of them and they wanted to go be emotional connected and/or sexually with other people then I should be just as happy, loving, and supportive.

This is my own personal experience. I was in a relationship with a man for 3 years and he cheated on me. We broke up but the cheating did not have anything to do with how much or little I love him. I love him and I only want the best for him and I can see the patterns and the reasons why he cheated on me. However, it would just be foolish to stay in a bad relationship with a person with pain-inducing patterns just because I love him.

[Avi]

@Dhana Choko Thank you, your post has helped me a lot. 

[jip]

On 25-2-2016 at 5:49 PM, Makkatya said:

Can one love unconditionally without being enlightened? 

If you are enlightened what does a relationship mean to you? Why be in one? (This is more hypothetical, but if you are I'd gladly read your wisdom.  )

realize that unconditional love are just words, completely subjective and without any inherent meaning. what it refers to for most people is just a very pleasant emotion/feeling towards everything, again, subjective, arbitrary and free from any meaning other than the one you(the ego) ascribe to it.

So to answer your question:
Sure, one can love unconditionally without being enlightened. There is no ultimate authority who determines what love is and what it isn't, so call whatever you want love, and it will be love for you. (writing this post for example is pure love, lol:P)

[vizual]

Love is simply the thing that is left when all attachment/resistance has gone. People can get a hint of love in romantic relations because they let go to a certain extent. People that have had near death experiences also experience extreme intense unconditional love because they let have let go.

Unconditional love between 2 people or love between an activity/object and a person does not exist. Just the conditional excuse for the person to let go of resistance. Focussing on this love might help certain people in their enlightenment work, but it probably won't give a permanent shift in consciousness as long as the internal resistance is still there.

[Ayla]

@Pinocchio

Thank you  

[Robert]

One of the reasons I find it really difficult to talk about unconditional love is that it's so difficult to define love. Sometimes it seems like a semantic waste of time, but at other times the definition of love seems so obvious. Just based on my own intuitions, I think unconditional love can be given even without enlightenment. I also think that hate can be a form of love. As long as you want what's best for your true self, regardless of the conditions of any aspect of that self, then unconditional love is there.

I dunno, I guess I need to meditate more...

[Ayla]

1 minute ago, Robert said:

difficult to define love

In fact, it really is VERY simple: Love is who/what you are  

[Robert]

1 minute ago, Ayla said:

In fact, it really is VERY simple: Love is who/what you are  

See, that's why I said sometimes it seems so obvious. 

[Emerald]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You're missing an important facet of enlightenment, which is the unconditional love facet.

It's actually possible to have an enlightenment experience on love itself.

I believe you've stuck a little too closely to Jed's version of enlightenment. His version is good, but it is not complete. It is missing important facets, which are NOT just new-age mumbo-jumbo. I suggest keeping your mind open and doing deeper research into the other facets of enlightenment besides the Truth part. The most advanced teachers, sages, and yogis are in agreement on the importance the love facet of enlightenment. I know it sounds sappy, but there's actually something very deep there. It doesn't negate the Truth facet, it rounds it out.

You would be denying yourself if you neglected to explore this facet of life, along with the Truth facet.

You're not going to be able to relate in a rich and proper way to human beings until you've deeply explored enlightened love.

@Pinocchio

I'm actually beginning to think that pure non-conceptual awareness and unconditional love toward that awareness are the primary causes of the breakthrough of enlightenment. When I had my experiences, the unconditional love aspect was what was so amazing about them. I didn't know that I had the capacity to love all people, the sky, trees, every blade of grass, etc. I even loved myself unconditionally just for being, which is a trick I've yet to learn otherwise.  I was love itself. 

Edited February 27, 2016 by Emerald Wilkins

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Pinocchio said:

@Emerald Wilkins I've only recently begun to discover that I had the capacity to love everything and everyone equally. That became my notion of unconditional love. But at the same time that excluded a relationship based in unconditional love. To my mind, those two were mutually exclusive. I figured, sure I could be with someone, but there would be nothing special there.

 

I WAS SO WRONG...

 

This so weird, because somehow it manages to combine those two... I'm still baffled, but I can't deny it anymore...

 

Maybe I'm the tardy one here and everyone here goes "oh he finally gets it huh"... But I can't tell you what a mind blower this was for me. Let alone how it finally got through to me.. holy shit... Just today! My life started today...

 

I'm still crying my ass off here...

 

I'm so happy to hear that.  I think the emptiness/non-meaning words tends to block out love because how can there be nothingness, unconditional love, and particular loving relationships. It all seems very antithetical. But Jed is right in saying that all you should want from the experience is truth. Because all other notions, except radical truth, can block out the experience of enlightenment. If you come to it expecting unconditional love, you'll never get there, because you're preferring a future moment which is antithetical to unconditional love... because it's a condition. So, I think Jed omits it on purpose, much in the way a Zen Master remains reticent. 

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Pinocchio said:

@Emerald Wilkins That would not surprise me at all.

I know he is sneaky like that and I know that he is very deliberate about the things he says and how he says them. They're aimed at what someone needs to hear to get moving in the right direction. This is why I hold his books in such high regard, I still think they are truly masterful.

But more than that, nowadays when you see him doing his thing on his forum, you just know that there is no lack in the love department there.

 

That sneaky bastard...

I've yet to read them but he's on my reading list. I only know what I've seen from his work in the past week on the forum and I've been conversing with him on the forum too. He does seem like a very loving person... but a sneaky bastard nonetheless.  

Edited February 27, 2016 by Emerald Wilkins