MM1988

What Can I Actually Do To Not Feel Like Shit Because Of Not Getting Laid?

65 posts in this topic

2 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Also, are you sure that the reason for not having casual sex is not because you're afraid of being judged as a slut?

 

Absolutely. 

Look, I've actually tried doing sexual stuff with guys whom I knew. I didn't have to go all the way to PIV to find the whole thing confusing and unfulfilling. (Unless when both of us could give it an extra spiritual dimension.) 

Besides, I'm dating a polyamorous man. I'm being judged anyway. 

If you'd ask about fear of diseases and pregnancy, that would be a more complicated question, if you'd ask about vulnerability, that's on spot here as I stated above. 

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this excursion into female (or at least my) psychology. What are your experiences with casual sex? Did you meet a lot of women who were up for fun? ;)

Edited by Elisabeth
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20 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

Absolutely. 

Look, I've actually tried doing sexual stuff with guys whom I knew. I didn't have to go all the way to PIV to find the whole thing confusing and unfulfilling. (Unless when both of us could give it an extra spiritual dimension.) 

Besides, I'm dating a polyamorous man. I'm being judged anyway. 

If you'd ask about fear of diseases and pregnancy, that would be a more complicated question, if you'd ask about vulnerability, that's on spot here as I stated above. 

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this excursion into female (or at least my) psychology. What are your experiences with casual sex? Did you meet a lot of women who were up for fun? ;)

This has been very interesting indeed. 

So, who has been judging you and have there been any social or familial consequences with you?

I too am afraid of getting diseases and getting a girl pregnant. That was one of the reasons why I didn't lose my virginity until I was 27 and 3/4 years old and finally felt desperate for sex and love. I still am afraid of getting STDs, but my fear of them has been reduced greatly ever since I've madeout with over 20-30 girls and have gotten laid with 3 girls and almost got PIV laid with two other girls (I fondled and fingered a lot with those girls). Regarding pregnancy issues, guys these days have a lot to worry about with getting a girl pregnant because of the current laws regarding chid support. If a guy impregantes a girl or woman, then he has to pay her child support for the child. She could abort the baby, but if I am not mistaken, most women don't choose abortion.

Casual sex is fun, but at the same it can depress me when the girl ditches me after a one-night stand or after a couple of dates. Interesting, I lost my virginity from a one-night stand with a girl who had a boyfriend and the first thing she did after making out and rubbing my cock in my pants was blow me and deep throat me in public. Then we went to my car and fucked in there.

 

Edited by Hardkill
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Realizing sex is just a distraction that your mind puts up in order to sustain the barrier it created between itself and happiness.
Untill then, you will crave it, and it will never be enough.

That's just an excuse, if it wouldn't be sex, then it would be success, or your look, or your bank account, there is literally millions of reasons not to be happy.

The answer is to delve into your depression, to feel it totally, not repressing it or trying to get away from it.
It's the only thing there is to do, but your will find all the excuses in the world not to do it, because deep down you need this pain, it makes you who you are, your very sense of identity is in it.


 

Edited by Shin
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Everything you want
Is on the other side of fear

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I went through the same sort of situation. I went 5 years without so much as a kiss from a woman, and became depressed and lost all confidence in myself. 

What I learned from this experience is that women really pick up on your lack of confidence, and are repelled. Essentially, not getting laid is keeping you from getting laid. It's not a fun cycle, but you can break it.

My advice would be to find something other than sex to bring you out of your funk and boost that confidence. Or if there is some situation or setting where you have more confidence, try to find women there (e.g. if you are a decent singer, go to a karaoke bar).

Or just go to a bar and strike up conversations with women without the intention of having sex with them. Make it purely about conversation. You might find yourself forgetting about sex and actually enjoying the night. Once you feel comfortable that negative aura will lift away and maybe draw someone in. Sex will happen eventually; you just have to convince yourself of that.

Best of luck!

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1 hour ago, Thorny_arms said:

I went through the same sort of situation. I went 5 years without so much as a kiss from a woman, and became depressed and lost all confidence in myself. 

What I learned from this experience is that women really pick up on your lack of confidence, and are repelled. Essentially, not getting laid is keeping you from getting laid. It's not a fun cycle, but you can break it.

My advice would be to find something other than sex to bring you out of your funk and boost that confidence. Or if there is some situation or setting where you have more confidence, try to find women there (e.g. if you are a decent singer, go to a karaoke bar).

Or just go to a bar and strike up conversations with women without the intention of having sex with them. Make it purely about conversation. You might find yourself forgetting about sex and actually enjoying the night. Once you feel comfortable that negative aura will lift away and maybe draw someone in. Sex will happen eventually; you just have to convince yourself of that.

Best of luck!

That all sounds good, but I tried that with my martial arts for over 10 years, weightlifting for over 4 years, running for several months, yoga classes, karaoke (I happen to be a decent singer), sculpture/ceramics, etc. 

Edited by Hardkill
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