Cool poly example of a man with 2 wives and kids living together

[Jirh]

I don't think it's wrong or impossible per se. I just think most men are not ready for it. It's more like an incel fantasy. When you actually live with a woman, you realize it's much more peaceful being alone. So one woman is enough chaos. Sometimes, one woman brings excessive chaos. Perhaps it can work if those women are really masculine.

[Olaf]

@Jirh yes, but we don't know, we have to experiment to know, this is just a projection of what it could be like, maybe it is much more peaceful with two woman, they can also entertain eachother.

[LordFall]

52 minutes ago, Emerald said:

@LordFall Why is that the specific vision that you gravitate towards?

What does it mean to you (or about you) to be the guy who has a castle and five wives? 

And how do you imagine that your daily life is going to look like in 10, 20, 30+ years.

Will you still want these wives when you're all in your 70s or 80s?

Knowing myself and my personality type I think it would be interesting and entertaining for a long time. I would love to grow into my 80s with my multiple wives, kids and grandkids. 

In 20-30 years I will probably be managing my businesses and communities globally. Basically the same thing I do now but in more advanced stages of development. The transition towards AI labor should make it more efficient to do so it'll leave me with most of my day still hanging out with my clan at home. In my comfy ass castle that I spent 20 years making it the best estate that I could possibly imagine with my favorite people around me.

I think most people have too shallow a vision for their dream life and that's what leads to a lot of divorces down the line when people get bored of each other and their kids are grown. I want people that I can hang out with and explore the perhaps infinite mysteries of the universe for a long time. 

If we want to take it further into speculation I think once biotech and AI medicine radically extend human lifespan I think a lot of monogamous marriages will fall apart since it was a system designed for childrearing and once the ceiling is raised relationships like the one I described will become quite standard. It will be the deathblow to religious shaming of alternative lifestyles.

@Jirh I have lived with a girlfriend before and at other times was dating multiple women casually at the same time. A variation in the type of feminine energy I'm exposed to has been very fulfilling to me and an experience I would like to pursue in more depth.

 You seem to be close minded and projecting your limitations unto other men. Most things in life that are great were never meant to be easy. Polyamory offers unique challenges in the dating sphere but also has upsides that traditional relationships don't have. 

Edited 19 hours ago by LordFall

[Olaf]

@LordFall

this will be you when you are 70, manifest that shit, even if manifestation isn't real. I think he had the castle since he was 30 or something, so you are behind schedule 

[Jirh]

9 minutes ago, LordFall said:

 

@Jirh I have lived with a girlfriend before and had multiple FWBs at the same time. If you don't know yourself enough to be able to craft a compelling dating life that would ameliorate the previous experiences you've had; don't project your limitations unto other men! 

Past tense isn't a proof that polyamory is possible for you. It's a proof that whatever dynamic was there simply couldn't sustain itself enough to endure time.

Edited 19 hours ago by Jirh

[Jirh]

Funny thing about women is that they tend to purposefully drain your resources so you don't have enough to chase other women.

You think you can win against women's subtle sneakiness? Well, think again.

[LordFall]

You need to get rid of your victim thinking mindset and your weird relationship to women brother.

If you view them as sneaky adversaries that are gonna drain you of energy and resources then of course polyamory sounds like a crazy idea to you.

To me women are like muses that inspire me to go to battle each day and work even harder to build a more beautiful vision for myself and them to inhabit. 

I just made a post on problem solving being the top skill for dating, you should read it.

In my experience once you can solve a woman's problem, her frustrating issues become lifted from both of your shoulders and she reconnects with the deep joy of life that all humans have but especially particularly feminine people are good at expressing. I am a business operator so all my life is spent around solving problems and I have extensive pickup experience working on emotional intelligence and communication skills.

I think most men are at best average at solving problems and a lot are clueless about it. Once you get really good at it you see the patterns between most problems. In a relationship context it's usually around needs and desires not being met and the lack of ability to communicate them and set proper expectations and boundaries especially in a polyamorous context. 

Walking around my castle and solving my women's and my kids' problems sounds like the best life possible to me. I would just drink coffee all day and be in my logical problem solving mindset for them and for my business and once I'm exhausted for the day I just go and relax with my people. Rinse and repeat for decades. 

I think I am partly uniquely suited to making a relationship like this work but I think most men could develop those same skills if they had the interest for a similar one. 

Edited 19 hours ago by LordFall

[Jirh]

I suggest you start generating your own ideas instead of arguing from AI. I don't suppose you will manage your future relationships with AI?

Nobody loves or appreciates women like I do. But they are sneaky drama queens. That's the feminine. Pure chaos. And people have degrees of femininity. The more feminine, the more dramatic and chaotic.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

34 minutes ago, Jirh said:

Funny thing about women is that they tend to purposefully drain your resources so you don't have enough to chase other women.

You think you can win against women's subtle sneakiness? Well, think again.

Jesus. It sounds like you have not have had a good time of it.

[LordFall]

15 minutes ago, Jirh said:

I suggest you start generating your own ideas instead of arguing from AI. I don't suppose you will manage your future relationships with AI?

Nobody loves or appreciates women like I do. But they are sneaky drama queens. That's the feminine. Pure chaos. And people have degrees of femininity. The more feminine, the more dramatic and chaotic.

It seems I've hit on your weak spot and you feel the need to defend yourself. No need to do that, just introspect on your own shortcomings and why you feel the need to project them onto others.

If you experience women as pure chaos I think that speaks more to your lack of ability to ground yourself and others as a man, and like I just said, to solve problems. I don't experience women as chaotic, I experience them as a wave that you can ride or drown under. 

[Jirh]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Jesus. It sounds like you have not have had a good time of it.

Quite the opposite, actually.

It was the best time of my life. The polarity was too magnetic and intoxicating. I didn't mind the chaos a bit.

Plus, it was accompanied and followed by immense growth and integration for me.

So, a net win for me.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

Knowing myself and my personality type I think it would be interesting and entertaining for a long time. I would love to grow into my 80s with my multiple wives, kids and grandkids. 

In 20-30 years I will probably be managing my businesses and communities globally. Basically the same thing I do now but in more advanced stages of development. The transition towards AI labor should make it more efficient to do so it'll leave me with most of my day still hanging out with my clan at home. In my comfy ass castle that I spent 20 years making it the best estate that I could possibly imagine with my favorite people around me.

I think most people have too shallow a vision for their dream life and that's what leads to a lot of divorces down the line when people get bored of each other and their kids are grown. I want people that I can hang out with and explore the perhaps infinite mysteries of the universe for a long time. 

If we want to take it further into speculation I think once biotech and AI medicine radically extend human lifespan I think a lot of monogamous marriages will fall apart since it was a system designed for childrearing and once the ceiling is raised relationships like the one I described will become quite standard. It will be the deathblow to religious shaming of alternative lifestyles.

Personally, I really get a lot out of monogamy because it concentrates all my sexual and romantic energy all into one person... and it becomes a closed intimate loop without any energetic "leakage". And it's a lot more intense than if I were to have multiple partners because all the energy is concentrated.

During times where I had leakier sexual energy or I was with someone else who had leakier sexual energy, it just didn't feel like sex was very meaningful or interesting. And things feel kind of "meh".

So for me, the narrower my focus is (like a laser-beam) the more transformative and deep things are.

But if I keep my romantic and sexual energy open and going out to more than one person, it just feels like it gets too diluted and not as meaningful.

And I'm even working on creating even firmer boundaries around my sexual energy in day to day life, as it makes life a lot more spicy for me.

So, I don't think monogamy would ever become obsolete because a lot of people get a lot out of devoting themselves to a deep and narrow path with a partner... and sending all their sexual and romantic energy in one direction.

Though, when I was in my teen years, I still had a lot of sexual experimentation and self-discovery that I wanted to do... which conflicted with my desire for monogamous intensity with one partner. 

So, I can see a lot of young people being resistant to monogamy. And that might be where the impression that monogamy will become outmoded or obsolete comes from. 

But there will always be people who want to take the deep and narrow path with one partner... even in a world with no religious rules or sexual shame. And that's because limitation increases depth, intensity, and meaning... in a variety of contexts. 

So for me, this desire for the deep and narrow path expresses itself as a monogamous orientation in relationships.

And it also expresses itself in my tendency to choose one North Star for my career.... and to devote myself to my one singular craft. (I always admired that my dad has been a mechanic since he was 10 years old. And he's still a mechanic today at age 66. And I decided I wanted to be a teacher when I was 5 years old... and that craft has always stayed with me.)

And it also expresses itself in small ways. Like, I don't multi-task. I want to focus on one task until it's complete. And I hate being interrupted when I'm in the middle of bringing a single task to completion.

So, that might help you see what people get out of monogamy outside of cultural and religious expectations.

But if you feel like you can truly devote yourself fully to 5 women even when things are boring and your wives are familiar to you... and all the sexy hormones have died down because of old age, then that's also a deep and narrow path of sorts.

So, if you can be with each of them... and hold their hand on their deathbeds if they die before you, then that's okay.

But will you still want it if it's not sexy and exciting anymore? Or will you leak your energy from these 5 marriages and look to seek more novelty... dreaming of a different castle with different wives?

And to be clear, I'm fine with polyamory. That tends to be people who thrive spreading their energy around in a breadthy way. Truly polyamorous people are like bees in this way... very communal and social. I have a close friend who's this type of person, and polyamory is perfect for her and her husband. They're definitely bees.

But whenever a guy states a preference to have multiple wives, it reads as a fantasy and novelty-seeking. And I suspect that most men wouldn't actually be interested in the reality... because, if 1 wife gets boring and isn't enough.... 5 wives will also get boring and won't be enough.

That said, it may really be your preference. And if you can find women who are interested in that lifestyle... who all also get along with one another, then that's no problem. 

Just don't be under the impression that monogamy isn't a genuine preference. 

[Elliott]

I think this is just insecurity. Are you afraid of not having enough sex, that would just mean you're not working hard enough in the other areas of your life and you have energy to waste.

Not that traditional marriage is of any value either though

[Schizophonia]

10 hours ago, LordFall said:

Asian women really love white guys for example.

Fetishes are the signature of the void, lack of culture. 

One does not know oneself, is lost, and therefore to experience excitement must return, regress to more primitive signifiers such as skin color.

 

[Lyubov]

5 wives 😂🤣

you won’t even want 1 sometimes 

if you’re planning to be with a hot white girl too id probably adjust your expectations.

Just cheat or get a mistress or make sure she’s bi so she’s down to have some of her pretty friends join in bedroom 

Edited 11 hours ago by Lyubov

[Lyubov]

The only other option is be incredibly rich and famous and even then you may have to do some coercing

[LordFall]

@Emerald Thank you for sharing, that makes a lot of sense. I think self-awareness and knowing what you want and what conditions you thrive under is key. I find interpersonal dynamics fascinating even if I'm not the main person in them so experiencing my wives' relationships between each other develop over years would also be a fulfilling experience for me. I also tend to naturally navigate to leadership positions and my life goals are communal on top of just personal so I think that type of relationship long term would make sense for me. I do also have a very high libido so having one girlfriend at a time has usually left me unsatisfied.

I think some people can definitely thrive within a monogamous framework but many others have also been suppressed by it being the enforced normative framework that's prevalent in society.

3 hours ago, Elliott said:

I think this is just insecurity. Are you afraid of not having enough sex, that would just mean you're not working hard enough in the other areas of your life and you have energy to waste.

Not that traditional marriage is of any value either though

Traditional marriage has a lot of value. It's all about knowing what you want in life. I work extremely hard in other areas of my life, that's how I know I'll have surplus to share with other close people in an intimate framework. 

35 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

5 wives 😂🤣

you won’t even want 1 sometimes 

if you’re planning to be with a hot white girl too id probably adjust your expectations.

Just cheat or get a mistress or make sure she’s bi so she’s down to have some of her pretty friends join in bedroom 

 

34 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

The only other option is be incredibly rich and famous and even then you may have to do some coercing

I believe in ethical non monogamy so I can't cheat but bisexual women would help a lot. I'm bisexual as well so an out of the norm relationship was always in the cards but a big polycule seems to particularly appeal to me.

I'm very thankful that I got into pickup and I really explored what attraction was about, it seems to me that most people are only reaching 10% of what their dating life could be. I think you would be shocked what women are into if you make it fun and win-win for them. A lot of women tend to be more explorative and kinky than men, they just need the right environment to express their uninhibited desires without judgment! What I described would be a dream life for many. 

Edited 10 hours ago by LordFall

[Elliott]

4 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Fetishes are the signature of the void, lack of culture. 

One does not know oneself, is lost, and therefore to experience excitement must return, regress to more primitive signifiers such as skin color.

 

I think that particular dynamic is usually socio-economic, many black women do this too. It's a bit of 'racism' toward themselves rather than hating other races. You'll have white parents tell their kids to only date whites but Asians will tell their daughters to date white guys. Asian mothers can be quite forward about this too.

I think white women like black guys because they're the 'straight gay' guys, black guys tend to really do themselves up with aesthetics and personality, and not in the insecure alpha-bro way, black guys are cool...

Edited 8 hours ago by Elliott

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, LordFall said:

I believe in ethical non monogamy so I can't cheat but bisexual women would help a lot. I'm bisexual as well so an out of the norm relationship was always in the cards but a big polycule seems to particularly appeal to me.

I'm very thankful that I got into pickup and I really explored what attraction was about, it seems to me that most people are only reaching 10% of what their dating life could be. I think you would be shocked what women are into if you make it fun and win-win for them. A lot of women tend to be more explorative and kinky than men, they just need the right environment to express their uninhibited desires without judgment! What I described would be a dream life for many. 

Ok got it you have a more non traditional lifestyle and are into poly.

Yeah I know women can get freaky. I’m not really into group sex except the occasional threesome and it’s always MFF, I am not interested in ever having another guy in the equation. I’m not rich and famous and extroverted enough to have my own harem or orgy of women lining up to sleep with me though which is the dream of course but not the main pursuit of my life. I’m fine with just the occasional woman joining in and that’s really all I’m interested in. The idea of a mistress would be cool too but that’s more of an escape or fantasy. 

[Ulax]

17 hours ago, LordFall said:

If you decide in advance that anyone living outside standard monogamy is secretly traumatized or lying to themselves, you'll never see reality clearly. You’re projecting your own standard onto a dynamic that has demonstrably worked for them for nearly a decade.

Obviously if you yourself would be looking to start dating multiple women at once I would tell you to be completely upfront and honest from the start and not spring it upon people. Real life is messy and couples form under all sorts of circumstances. What matters is how they communicate and work through the challenges with the people that they choose to spend their life with. The fact that they've been together for years and are all living in the same house with the kids seeming well-adjusted and happy speaks volumes to the success of their throuple. They say themselves that many of the monogamous couples they knew have already broken up by now. 

It's gonna be sick, I think 5 years will be a good timeline to work towards acquiring the castle but I'll start out the poly stuff next year. If my game is strong expect a poly vlog with 2 girlfriends around May 2027. 

https://search.savills.com/property-detail/bvi77026

Some of these properties are quite affordable so it's really gonna depend on how big I can scale the brand. Ideally I want an oceanfront estate but that pumps up the price like 5x. If I can launch my game and it's commercially successful and I manage to retain most of the equity, then I think I could do it in 5 years, even the oceanfront one.

You've never seen an IP like this, I want to host real-life balls for a European aristocracy-inspired game at the actual castle I own. I think it might pay for itself at that point and I'll be in profit from purchasing the property. One step at a time though, for now winter is almost starting in Montreal and all I got to warm myself up is a very well functioning central heating system and dreams of castles in the south of France.

What about you, what type of dating vision are you working on actualizing for yourself? 

Bro that property looks sick. Cool backstory with the Cognac producer too!

My dating vision is much more pain than pull driven. My aim is to put in consistent, deliberate cold-approach practice with the help of the Todd V organisation's coaching, and see where that takes me.