Am I Finally Ready To Let Go of Dating?

[PenguinPablo]

Just now, Miguel1 said:

🤮🤮🤮

Lol there might be something to that. Don't shoot it down so quickly. Re-invent or remix the strategy from a higher perspective

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, PenguinPablo said:

Lol there might be something to that. Don't shoot it down so quickly. Re-invent or remix the strategy from a higher perspective

I am allergic

[Natasha Tori Maru]

*Looks over in the corner to see @Miguel1 heaving and dry retching on the ground, arms around himself* 

 

[Miguel1]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

*Looks over in the corner to see @Miguel1 heaving and dry retching on the ground, arms around himself* 

Now I’m crying..

Edited 15 hours ago by Miguel1

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

@Miguel1 For you:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Dd9DtAaMTM-/

Her explanation was useful for understanding this preference and some of the definitions in this conversation. 

I would file this alongside really any other sort of preference one has in a relationship. When choosing a wife or husband they will almost always have their own quirks and uniqueness and may not be how we want them to be or be a certain way they are not. Many women / men we meet simply don’t check off enough of the boxes. 

If you believe you cannot relate with someone well enough in conversation and meet them in nuance on things than idk 🤷‍♂️ to me this conversation just culminates in a guy simply not yet finding someone he’s interested in enough to commit to. There are a ton of people who feel a bit down and disconnected because they haven’t found someone they can connect with through conversations which suit their preference, usually people will word things vaguely and in nuance when they’re having some sorts problem. I’m not diminishing his issue at all, I just believe it’s better to word it very concisely and clearly to get to the bottom of it. Finding a life partner can take a lot of time and for many people these days they simple just never meet anyone compelling enough to choose. 

From an internal perspective this is an issue of perception, you can sometimes change your perspective and make the best with what you got but simultaneously also it is just what one has encountered in life so far, sometimes it’s hard and rare to meet someone we like enough to commit to. The more boxes on one’s checklist the more difficult it will be. I think I’ve made my peace with that my wife / partner won’t always fit my expectations or how I wish she was but I’ve made my choice anyway. 

Edited 15 hours ago by Lyubov

[LordFall]

24 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

For him, everything is either looks, money or status 

Not really, the idea is simply about having a logical strategy that aims toward abundance.

You maximize looks, money, and status not to make them your religion, but because having leverage drastically expands the pool of attractive and cool people who are down to date you.

[Lyubov]

For more intellectual women I would stick to Europe. I would say it’s about as good as it gets in regard to intellectual depth but I would also keep your expectations in check still. South America is possibly the worst I’ve been. I did feel a little bad there because I saw myself as out of place and not connecting with people there because of how I am used to relating to people, if you want ultra normie in sense making go to SA. The average European woman isn’t going to want to discuss though what we discuss here. Do you think my wife would fit in with the conversations on actualized? Of course not. But we are able to talk about a lot of other things and share a similar path and values and are able to just enjoy each other’s company and be silly together. And even then we piss each other off regularly. I come to actualized for this dimension of depth and analysis and different perspectives of understanding to get new insights of my own. obviously I get more insights here and have my spiritual thoughts recognized here more and my thoughts on the dynamics of dating recognized more here than from my wife. 

Edited 15 hours ago by Lyubov

[Miguel1]

14 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

I’m not diminishing his issue at all, I just believe it’s better to word it very concisely and clearly to get to the bottom of it.

I’m not sure how to word it better.

Intellectual intimacy is not enough. It needs to be consciousness intimacy as well.

Consciousness tops intellectual.

Hence I have been saying that I haven’t found a conscious person enough for me.

It doesn’t get more simple and efficient of a wording than that.

[Lyubov]

17 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I’m not sure how to word it better.

Intellectual intimacy is not enough. It needs to be consciousness intimacy as well.

Consciousness tops intellectual.

Hence I have been saying that I haven’t found a conscious person enough for me.

It doesn’t get more simple and efficient of a wording than that.

Your definition of consciousness in this context may be very different from mine. What you consider a conscious person can vary quite a bit from mine. For example, I would consider a person that has a ton of check boxes that limit them from relating with someone and finding a long term relationship to be someone who is lacking consciousness in this dimension of life. Because for me I see it as not accepting reality as it is and being unwilling to adjust one’s boat’s sails to align with the winds, make the best of how things are to fulfill one’s needs. From your perspective you may see it as totally and completely different, maybe protecting your interests, waiting for a person that is compelling enough to be with, etc. I can’t speak for you obviously. I would just say that from my perspective these qualities in a person are far more abstract. We would probably be far more easily on the same page about physical conventional beauty. 

Edited 14 hours ago by Lyubov

[Leo Gura]

22 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I’m not sure how to word it better.

Spiritual intimacy. Duh.

The girl in that reel doesn't even know spirituality exists. You do.

Edited 14 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Miguel1]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Spiritual intimacy. Duh.

Would you want to be my spiritual bestman? In my spiritual wedding?

I just need to go to a spiritual store to buy a spiritual ring first.

And oh yeah, to find a spiritual partner………

[Miguel1]

9 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

For example, I would consider a person that has a ton of check boxes that limit them from relating with someone and finding a long term relationship to be someone who is lacking consciousness in this dimension of life.

What.

You have it backwards bro..

[Miguel1]

The more unconscious a person is, the less standards they have for their partner, and the more its just about vibes and feelings..

[Lyubov]

13 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

What.

You have it backwards bro..

Well see there you go, so that is your definition. So you choose to have your checkboxes and then of course you would have to live by that which I can see you are and it is working out how it is where you do not see anyone worth choosing. I’m not saying that as a judgement of right or wrong. You don’t need a person to be whole or to complete your life, a relationship is just a choice. So I would accept that choice you’ve made and be responsible and live by it which I can see you are. Putting myself in your shoes in your perspective I would probably end up mourning relationships and just letting them go too, like what you were planning to do in your OP, because I’d imagine that my check boxes would make it difficult to find someone compelling enough to commit to. 

Edited 14 hours ago by Lyubov

[aurum]

Curious if anyone has read Intimate Communion by David Deida.

It's the best book I've found on what a spiritual romantic relationship might look like.

Edited 14 hours ago by aurum

[Leo Gura]

@Miguel1 What is your career?

If you had a spiritual career like a coach, speaker, teacher, etc, you would easily find a cute spiritual girl.

Kill two birds with one stone.

It is easier to get spiritual girls as a spirutual leader. They come to you.

Edited 14 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Cubbage]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you had a spiritual career like a coach, speaker, teacher, etc, you would easily find a cute spiritual girl.

Kill two birds with one stone.

It is easier to get spiritual girls as a spirutual leader. They come to you.

I'm not a spiritual leader by any means, but my work has facilitated romantic encounters I couldn't have imagined outside of living the life I do now through my psychonautic focused career and artwork on and offline. This is defo true.

Before I had any form of success in the online psychonautic world, the quality of women I was encountering was not at a level I could resonate with, casually or intimately. This alone proves it to me that my work has done dividends for me in the world of dating and can do for anyone else, it was also great for my self-esteem (not that I ever really cared for the world of dating anyway, but it's a nice bonus on top of your work to engage with deeper women).

Also, you've got to actually make the effort to get yourself out there. I'm UK based and have had to do some major travelling to create space for these relationships to blossom in my life. God knows there's fuck all going on in England that could have let any of this emerge for me, friendship wise and romantically speaking.

P.S. another important point is to not expect anything to come of your work either, these things happen naturally.

[Leo Gura]

Become a spiritual thirst trap 

Edited 13 hours ago by Leo Gura

[CARDOZZO]

@Miguel1

Become a "club promoter" but for yoga studios.

Done.

Thank me later  

Edited 11 hours ago by CARDOZZO

[LordFall]

I mean yeah that's actually not a bad idea. You gotta keep it professional but mixing your game with your passions is both more fun and more scalable than just doing it at random clubs or daygame.

I organize fashion and content meetups and some people are really into nightlife and they do that and some people are music promoters and network and meet friends and romantic partners that way. 

Edited 4 hours ago by LordFall