I want to hear a womans opinion

[Joshe]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

This is the best drunk song at the bar haha

Used to play it on the jukebox all the time. And this one: 

Always gets the house rockin

[Inliytened1]

6 minutes ago, Joshe said:

Used to play it on the jukebox all the time. And this one: 

Always gets the house rockin

This is gonna take a lotta ass kissing. But I'm.ready. No rooster on the roof is taking my girl.

[Joshe]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

This is gonna take a lotta ass kissing. But I'm.ready. No rooster on the roof is taking my girl.

I find rubbing one out brings me to my senses. 

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Joshe said:

I find rubbing one out brings me to my senses. 

😀 I save that as a last resort. Final surrender.  I'm not ready to wave the white flag just yet.

[Joshe]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

😀 I save that as a last resort. Final surrender.  I'm not ready to wave the white flag just yet.

My boy's got that 20-year old dick.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Inliytened1 mad at you???

[Inliytened1]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Inliytened1 mad at you???

😀 Yes.  I was a jerk.  It's as Shinzen Young says. It was my evil twin. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Natasha Tori Maru]

8 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

😀 Yes.  I was a jerk.  It's as Shinzen Young says. It was my evil twin. 

Everyone makes mistakes, no stress! I have so many disasters going on in life, unless someone has lost a limb or has a terminal diagnosis I'm just gonna let it go. 

Plus you just got through a heavy breakup. Sounds like the sort of a sort of breakup where you attracted something so intense it broke your previous relationship patterns? We can play out a pattern in romantic relationships until it calls something into our experience that is so intense, we cannot ignore it. Breaking it. Just speculation peiced together from your posts. It's hard not to get paradigm locked after those sorts of experiences.

I only have charitable and happy feelings when in dialogue with you 😀

[Judy2]

@Olaf

that's not exactly what the question was, but since i generally agree with what @Emerald said right in the beginning (didn't read everything after that), i thought i would offer a new perspective.

my thoughts are that your investment in this topic seems a bit excessive, and that in itself tends to be off-putting. (sorry to be so harsh...i just noticed the amount of posts you start on this topic...)

perhaps it's okay for some time to focus on improving at game or pick-up or whatever, but if that's all someone has to offer in terms of "hobbies"? it's okay to spend some time intentionally improving in this area, also in terms of social skills etc., but eventually, in my opinion, it would be wise to move on, actually "have a personality", be a little more self-sufficient. and then, since you have acquired that ability during this prior phase, only approach when it feels truly authentic. 

i can usually tell when i'm just the warm-up in what is practiced as a sport, vs when someone makes a genuine compliment. 

 

*i hope this doesn't sound too mean. it's not meant to sound that way.

Edited 2 hours ago by Judy2

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I think ultimately with game/pickup everyone eventually moves on from dedicated, concerted practice due to it becoming (ideally) naturally incorporated into their habits and reflexes. I just view it in the most charitable way as men learning confidence through technique (there is more to it, I am simplifying heavily). That's not to say there aren't crude and exploitative forms of pickup. 

I don't view it as cringe.

In general mens challenges are access and attraction generation; women's are screening, filtering and relationship calibration. This is just in general, as the more high value one is, these challenges can flip and change.

Pickup is a structured method to teach the tools for attraction generation and access. Men use these tools. It is transparent. You can learn this also with social circle game.

Women also need to learn screening and selection. But because women have access to different tools, how they learn to screen can be different. Therapy can be a way women learn screening, and we don't shitcan that - despite it addressing their challenges (and it isn't marketed as such, but it could viewed as addressing this issue). There are also mate selection training courses, books and coaches for women. There is a legitimate gap in the market here to assist women to select/screen better. Women in general have larger social reach than men, so they essentially have the opportunity to learn via social circle, just like men. This would be an intuitive learning. 

At the very highest level, both sexes are sort of heading toward "Can I perceive another human being, with accuracy, without projecting my fantasies, fears, desires and stereotypes onto them?"

You can also break it down into symmetries for both sexes (again this is in general and can flip with high value mates):

Men - Approaching women, Women - Recognising and allowing access to good men

Men Creating attraction, Women - Evaluating attraction, not confusing it with compatibility

Men - Flirting/charisma, Women - Reading men's intentions, character, social behaviour

Men - Handling rejection, Women - Handling abundance without becoming indiscriminately cynical

Men - Escalating, Women - Setting boundaries and observing how he responds

Men - Getting dates, Women - Filtering dates efficiently

Men - Game, Women - Discernment

Men - Avoiding the friendzone, Women - Avoiding the manipulator/player

Men - Learning female psychology, Women - Learning male psychology

Men - Screening for attraction, Women - Screening for character, stability, compatibility

I suppose I am attempting to reframe pickup and flesh out a female equivalent here! And just as pickup can give women the ick, I can perceive how the above dating points/advice/training for women can give men the ick also. Imagine a female dating course taking into account the above points - it could sound viscerally gross to men! 

Some men do not learn well how to attract and get access to women via social circle, so game provides a structural frame to apply. Some women do not learn to filter and select well through social circle also. They might end up in therapy which can, although not it's primary mechanism, assist here. Women are probably less likely to reach out for a structured training method to select, though. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Ulax]

40 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I think ultimately with game/pickup everyone eventually moves on from dedicated, concerted practice due to it becoming (ideally) naturally incorporated into their habits and reflexes. I just view it in the most charitable way as men learning confidence through technique (there is more to it, I am simplifying heavily). That's not to say there aren't crude and exploitative forms of pickup. 

I don't view it as cringe.

In general mens challenges are access and attraction generation; women's are screening, filtering and relationship calibration. This is just in general, as the more high value one is, these challenges can flip and change.

Pickup is a structured method to teach the tools for attraction generation and access. Men use these tools. It is transparent. You can learn this also with social circle game.

Women also need to learn screening and selection. But because women have access to different tools, how they learn to screen can be different. Therapy can be a way women learn screening, and we don't shitcan that - despite it addressing their challenges (and it isn't marketed as such, but it could viewed as addressing this issue). There are also mate selection training courses, books and coaches for women. There is a legitimate gap in the market here to assist women to select/screen better. Women in general have larger social reach than men, so they essentially have the opportunity to learn via social circle, just like men. This would be an intuitive learning. 

At the very highest level, both sexes are sort of heading toward "Can I perceive another human being, with accuracy, without projecting my fantasies, fears, desires and stereotypes onto them?"

You can also break it down into symmetries for both sexes (again this is in general and can flip with high value mates):

Men - Approaching women, Women - Recognising and allowing access to good men

Men Creating attraction, Women - Evaluating attraction, not confusing it with compatibility

Men - Flirting/charisma, Women - Reading men's intentions, character, social behaviour

Men - Handling rejection, Women - Handling abundance without becoming indiscriminately cynical

Men - Escalating, Women - Setting boundaries and observing how he responds

Men - Getting dates, Women - Filtering dates efficiently

Men - Game, Women - Discernment

Men - Avoiding the friendzone, Women - Avoiding the manipulator/player

Men - Learning female psychology, Women - Learning male psychology

Men - Screening for attraction, Women - Screening for character, stability, compatibility

I suppose I am attempting to reframe pickup and flesh out a female equivalent here! And just as pickup can give women the ick, I can perceive how the above dating points/advice/training for women can give men the ick also. Imagine a female dating course taking into account the above points - it could sound viscerally gross to men! 

Some men do not learn well how to attract and get access to women via social circle, so game provides a structural frame to apply. Some women do not learn to filter and select well through social circle also. They might end up in therapy which can, although not it's primary mechanism, assist here. Women are probably less likely to reach out for a structured training method to select, though. 

👏

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Forgot to add to my points above this sort of dovetails with feminism. Some men's negative reaction to feminism may be (partly) explained by feminism changing women's mate-selection in ways that reduce mens control. It increases women's selectivity/sorting/screening through increased agency and make men's behaviour more subject to evaluation.

The mechanisms behind feminism act to empower/teach women to screen more effectively, but as a byproduct.