Men are not allowed to be victims in the matriarchy

[AION]

If you are a women and you feel victim you will still do fine, your social life will be ok too. But if you are a man and you feel chronically victimized by life. That is brutal. Especially in nowadays social climate. 

2 days ago I broke up with my gf and this is not the first time it happened so I handled it well, put myself out there instead of wallowing in misery and I met a lot of new people. 

Girls don’t approach but they do position themselves close to you. And normally that doesn’t happen a lot but this night it happened like 5 times which is no coincidence in my opinion. 

I didn’t approach all of them because I was with one and the others were giving my eye contact in the venue so I couldn’t approach them all but if you are heart broken and deal with it as a champ you get rewarded by it by grace. 

To be fair I also took a micro dose lsd while going out but I don’t feel bad about the break up anymore. She didn’t give me a high priority in her life and was using sex as a leverage to let me do stuff and make commitments like settling down with her without knowing her. She also felt better than me and she said I only wanted her for sex which was not true. She wanted me to overpay for her while I met her in a nightclub and I know she has a history but let’s me overpay for sex which caused resentment. Do women think we are stupid? If others can smash on the first date we want that too. 

[LordFall]

Do you want to be a victim? Masculine accountability is a good thing. Do you want the moral support of random people or do you want inner strength and the ability to build unlimited leverage and power? 

Nothing great comes from a victim mindset. Talk to Gemini it'll help you make sense of your breakup and set goals to build a better life. 

You can find some more hippie circles that will tolerate and welcome you crying about your feelings and being vulnerable but in my experience those people actually won't have any solutions for your problem and they lack strength of character and ambition so it's not a valuable crowd to hang around anyway. Be careful with people that validate your vulnerability; it's sort of a faustian bargain.

That's my view at least. 

Edited Saturday at 05:20 PM by LordFall

[AION]

@LordFall I use Claude. And I have a female therapist who nudges me to wallow in my victim mindset. I guess I need a men’s group. I tried some but there all men with the mindset of the feminine. It is hard to find good men nowadays. Most are on some bullshit. 

Edited Saturday at 05:35 PM by AION

[QVx]

I think it's important you take some time to understand what emotions you are suppressing, and how those suppressed emotions are shaping your beliefs. 

[LordFall]

4 hours ago, AION said:

@LordFall I use Claude. And I have a female therapist who nudges me to wallow in my victim mindset. I guess I need a men’s group. I tried some but there all men with the mindset of the feminine. It is hard to find good men nowadays. Most are on some bullshit. 

What city do you live in? Try business and corporate events. The business world is all about efficiency and achieving goals in the world. Also fitness groups can be good but I don't really workout so I'm just guessing. 

It's not that understanding your emotions is not important it's that it's only 30% of the battle. A lot of the reasons you're sad because your life sucks not because you have childhood trauma. Feminine circles have performance and competition, it's not their forte. They like emotional support and social cohesion. 

[AION]

@LordFall I’m in west Europe. But business groups is idd good hot spot. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

This is sort of leading to a good question: what kind of social environments help a man recover agency?

[Ulax]

On 22/08/2026 at 6:34 PM, AION said:

@LordFall I use Claude. And I have a female therapist who nudges me to wallow in my victim mindset. I guess I need a men’s group. I tried some but there all men with the mindset of the feminine. It is hard to find good men nowadays. Most are on some bullshit. 

Depends on what you want from therapy

[Elliott]

18 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This is sort of leading to a good question: what kind of social environments help a man recover agency?

Yoga

Music

Art

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, Elliott said:

Yoga

Music

Art

Alternate forms of expression that aren't language based (necessarily) that can release feeling or emotion - this is your common meaning? I suppose feeling or emotion doesn't even need to be a component in your brainstorm - your 3 domains just seem to be a platform to express in some way

Edited 7 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Elliott]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Alternate forms of expression that aren't language based (necessarily) that can release feeling or emotion - this is your common meaning? I suppose feeling or emotion doesn't even need to be a component in your brainstorm - your 3 domains just seem to be a platform to express in some way

Not how I looked at it. It's the "social environment" you asked about, those social environments are accepting of men by the other men, encouraging, healthy, social, communal ; probably derived from what you're looking at though. Other male social environments are usually toxic.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Elliott said:

Not how I looked at it. It's the "social environment" you asked about, those social environments are accepting of men by the other men, encouraging, healthy, social, communal ; probably derived from what you're looking at though. Other male social environments are usually toxic.

Sweet cheers - thanks for your thoughts. What are the sorts of other male environments you consider toxic?

[Leo Gura]

There is no matriarchy.

[KosmicGeng]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no matriarchy.

There have been matriarch socities and I have been in an inheritance case were this was practically an exheredation, due to a lack of proper management and expectations of presenting any evidence of will, making everything a secret and handling things behind ones back, instead of providing clarity and evidence, a small social dynamic allows for matriarch tendencies, I experienced this quite often, there is a benefit to the nature of women being more emotional and "compassionate", but there are a lot of hostile tendencies, if you ever grew up with mostly women,

What the user @AION wrote is not really about matriarchy, but mostly about commitment, and the men in this case had more power, as it would technically be money v.s sex, I've been to men groups, and therapist both have value, the men group was better, but only if it was a larger group, a group with friends etc. where I knew someone had no benefit to me, mostly if I got to know someone new and their problems in order to relate in a different way, a therapist was good for different reasons, but it only allowed me to stablize myself after this exheredation case, as there was a very deep manipulative nefarious tendency that corrupted my survival without there being any good reason to do any of it, it was a horror to deal with this manipulative stage green/post-modern frame of and undercurrent of men are to blame for everything, just be super stoic and have no emotions, young men have no value, hence you have no power and no say about the choices you make in life, that is the underlying perception and actions that they take, if you would not play their game, there would not even be a chance to get anything back, but vehemently this role & power reversal at stage green, can cause a lot of lazy and haphazardly handled relationships, I am mostly out of the dynamic, but parts of it are still active, as it was meet with the sheer ignorance and the death of close family members also costed them, but there was a lack of masculine clarity handling anything about ressources, just very childish and immature matriarchal emotional tendencies of outburst of emotions in power, and role reversals. 

My experience is very different, I can see that no matriarchy exists, but also the emotional and relational manipulation game women play in order to extract power & ressources out of men, and justfy their behaviour, as they really can't be victims, as they always have been victims, and a lot of rationalizations. I was not fortunate enough to meet healthy women, when I acted more healthily and planned things out in the end it lead to betrayl and cheating for taking on responsibility, as I could not see the last relationship was with a nut case, that only goes for status and money, even when I did my best with my meditative practices and skills to see the upside, I was to harsh on myself and should've pulled myself out of the relationship, most women I dated are not worth building a relationship with, as I now have an issue with the extraction of ressources, and only more mature women, or women from countries that act more relational and not as extractive seem to make sense, otherwise I would just use the time for sexual exploration and sex, and stage purple type of needs. 

There is more I could write, but this is more then enough, a quality women you will not find in a nightclub, I don't even know where to currently find them, I dated a few more quality women, but it did not end-up in a relationship or lay.

[Lyubov]

Your post is everywhere, disorienting. I’m not even entirely sure what point you’re trying to make. It’s clear to me you think something is unfair though. You throw in the idea of being a victim but what are you the victim of? What I read is you seem hurt about this break up and see dating is unfair. 

[something_else]

On 22/08/2026 at 6:02 PM, AION said:

2 days ago I broke up with my gf and this is not the first time it happened so I handled it well, put myself out there instead of wallowing in misery and I met a lot of new people. 

How long were you together?

It can be good to take some time to just sit with the breakup instead of jumping straight back into dating as a form of distraction. 

It depends how long you were together and how close you were though, hence why I asked. If it was a few months then yea, jumping back in is ideal. But if you were together 1+ years, or even 6 months, you become close enough that you should take some time to process those emotions instead of distracting yourself.

On 22/08/2026 at 6:34 PM, AION said:

And I have a female therapist who nudges me to wallow in my victim mindset.

I suspect the point she was getting at is that it's often a good idea to just sit with your emotions, let them surface and percolate. You may think this sounds feminine and have a gut reaction that it isn't manly to do this, but the opposite is true. Distracting yourself from emotions you're scared of is a form of running away, it's not masculine.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

16 minutes ago, something_else said:

I suspect the point she was getting at is that it's often a good idea to just sit with your emotions, let them surface and percolate. You may think this sounds feminine and have a gut reaction that it isn't manly to do this, but the opposite is true. Distracting yourself from emotions you're scared of is a form of running away, it's not masculine.

A very good point.

Most people resist and suppress. This tends to prolong the emotion and risks thoughts arising tangentially, which can feed narratives that keep the emotion alive. Often we fear the emotion as being worse than it really is. Just let them happen. Identify them. They pass relatively quickly compared to avoidance, suppression or resistance. 

Anger is normally a secondary emotion to the genuine one.

Edited 1 hour ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[AION]

@something_else 3 month relationship

This video explains the sins of victim mindset the best so far. Really worth the watch if you like deep psychology.

 

[AION]

@KosmicGeng that is true.. men have no inherent value 

[Valach]

25 minutes ago, something_else said:

How long were you together?

It can be good to take some time to just sit with the breakup instead of jumping straight back into dating as a form of distraction. 

It depends how long you were together and how close you were though, hence why I asked. If it was a few months then yea, jumping back in is ideal. But if you were together 1+ years, or even 6 months, you become close enough that you should take some time to process those emotions instead of distracting yourself.

I suspect the point she was getting at is that it's often a good idea to just sit with your emotions, let them surface and percolate. You may think this sounds feminine and have a gut reaction that it isn't manly to do this, but the opposite is true. Distracting yourself from emotions you're scared of is a form of running away, it's not masculine.

Very good point.

I would say even if the relationship was "short" I would explore the desire to jump right back into dating. I mean why do you want to be dating all the time?