Chronic Pain

[integral]

I've been dealing with chronic pain since I was 21 a severe sleeping disorder that I managed to recover from at some point, recently in the past week it came back and I've been in extreme physical pain in my entire body. Everything hurts even breathing is painful.

Writing this here because I cant burden anyone in real life with this problem. I made that mistake in the past there's no point.

I've been ready to die for many years, today I need to do it but im scared.

I don't know how to die. 

With my past experience, I learned how to sleep through extreme physical pain and I got pretty good at it but now I mostly forgot the technique and it might take months to relearn it.

It's very difficult having to harm this body after spending so long trying to keep it healthy.

I can't go to a hospital, I'm allergic to the air, they don't know how to help me. And what I need is assistance to die.

it's too difficult dying alone.

I don't understand why I needed to be born and I would prefer that people don't give birth to me again.

Please do not give birth to me.
Do not create me.
Do not dream of me.

This body can do a a backflip and 15 muscle ups, but it can't sleep or breath air.

It's interesting that we have the freedom to die and every reason to, but we keep living

Edited Tuesday at 07:23 AM by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@integral holy shit my man - I don't want you to do this. Your describe horrific suffering. 

I run under the total assumption you have reached out many times to medical institutions, and not found a solution? 

Please stay 

Is there any reason not to hope? ❤️

Please stay 

[integral]

@Natasha Tori Maru for a lot of chronic health issues. It's up to the individual to solve it for themselves. This puzzle was too hard for me to solve.

I'm not gonna die tonight, this is clear.

 

[nufan]

please dont do it @integral

let jesus heal you

you have all the love from us all

https://open.spotify.com/track/6Yg3J1OkP45uNcboiUg2Rw?si=b4257b9e96c14aba

btw ... we don't all feel free to stop existing! and you can take it literally or metaphorically(maybe its the same)

you dont get it? do you?

Edited 17 hours ago by nufan

[integral]

False alarm guys the issue passed.

I was just sick and it blocked my sleep for a week so i became unstable.

What ever the issue was the body self-regulated it this morning. 😅

 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, integral said:

False alarm guys the issue passed.

I was just sick and it blocked my sleep for a week so i became unstable.

What ever the issue was the body self-regulated it this morning. 😅

 

[Someone here]

Insomnia can kill you or drive you insane .

but god doesn’t sleep.

[nufan]

thanks @Someone here   ... i'm ok now   . more than ok , like the best day of my life! (the drama is over cause i'm free)

god is real !! and for sure doesn't sleep

i also read your post about it...

after something like ... how many? ..500 or more times that i interacted with him-her... its always-anytime there!

we cant be real gods among humans! it is not meant to!

so that leave us ... thinking that god has a plan after all  !! (that should be my next episode!!)

i really hope that we all "live" in a collective dream, and i'm not the only one!

but from what i experienced, makes me think that "reality" can deviate , and rejoin! (as long i dont mess things up!)

and writing to this forum is one of that! (but in my case was for a good cause)(couldn't do it otherwise!)

god told me i would mess up with spirituality... (back then i hated the idea)

and from 1,5 years ago... that i could understand 10% of Leos videos to today is huge for me! and the very good part is yet to come!!!

feeling ok  now is the best part of all (for now)

thanks

i can see @Yimpa is also happy about it!

(feels like i'm now to the casual "reality" now)(peace and quiet) (and i think "reality" changes from the state your in) 

god ... as i said ... will stop the world spinning , if for a good cause!

but if you want to play god... i don't think it would work!

he-she-it is way more powerful than the best psychedelics cant reach him-her-it(and what happen in my case proves so)

and after all he left me grounded!

looks like i feel like talking.. couldn't do it 1,5 years ago!

thats all folks! i dont what to mess things up deeper! 

enjoy your dream if you can! but i think you cant... that's why your here!

Edited 5 hours ago by nufan

[Someone here]

@nufan sorry it’s difficult for me to understand what you are saying . 

[nufan]

no one does!

me talking to me!

have a nice day!

btw ... "reality" is so twisted! in a good way!

Edited 5 hours ago by nufan