Men of the forum - Respect / Love

[enchanted]

The problem with this topic is that 99% of people are unconscious yet this forum is about the top 1% of ideas and consciousness level.. So for the higher consciousness people the answer is LOVE, but for the average guy/girl it might be RESPECT. 

Anyone who chooses RESPECT that that is a indication that they are in the unconscious majority or they believe the woman is. 

Edited 19 hours ago by enchanted

[LordFall]

29 minutes ago, enchanted said:

The problem with this topic is that 99% of people are unconscious yet this forum is about the top 1% of ideas and consciousness level.. So for the higher consciousness people the answer is LOVE, but for the average guy/girl it might be RESPECT. 

Anyone who chooses RESPECT that that is a indication that they are in the unconscious majority or they believe the woman is. 

I think I agree but Natasha also phrased it in the context of a partner. If your partner respects you but doesn't love you they will probably break up with you due to the relationship being boring and not very alive. If your partner loves you and doesn't respect you then she might stop fucking you or being attracted to you but you can work on yourself and fix it or get other women. Being emotionally connected to women is the core of the male to female dynamic and the respect part is more your relationship to the dominance hierarchy and society at large. 

@Natasha Tori Maru Also to answer your point on contractors demanding respect sometimes they can be worth respect and you just forget to give it but a lot of times men that ask for respect haven't done to earn it and they're trying to gaslight/manipulate you into giving praise like a hurt child. I don't think that's very respectable. 

@Schizophonia Respect has to do with valuing the competence or contribution of someone. If they don't contribute much what is there to respect? You perhaps respect your parents because they've added a lot of value to your life or a teacher like Leo because he offers you insights that you don't encounter in society at large. 

Edited 18 hours ago by LordFall

[aurum]

35 minutes ago, enchanted said:

The problem with this topic is that 99% of people are unconscious yet this forum is about the top 1% of ideas and consciousness level.. So for the higher consciousness people the answer is LOVE, but for the average guy/girl it might be RESPECT. 

Anyone who chooses RESPECT that that is a indication that they are in the unconscious majority or they believe the woman is. 

Not at all.

No amount of consciousness overrides the need for respect in a relationship.

[Rafael Thundercat]

14 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Tell me.

If you could choose what you want to hear more from a partner:

"I deeply respect you"

or

"I deeply love you"

I do think there will be overlap depending on how we define romantic love - this is about what you want to hear more from a woman.

 

Respect you now for me sounds more alligned. 

[Schizophonia]

56 minutes ago, LordFall said:. 

@Schizophonia Respect has to do with valuing the competence or contribution of someone. If they don't contribute much what is there to respect? You perhaps respect your parents because they've added a lot of value to your life or a teacher like Leo because he offers you insights that you don't encounter in society at large. 

There is no person I respect or disrespect; it is not something significant in my subjectivity.
 

It evokes for me submissiveness and pretension

[LordFall]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

There is no person I respect or disrespect; it is not something significant in my subjectivity.
 

It evokes for me submissiveness and pretension

I understand that perspective but I think it's a bit dangerous. You cannot rely on relativism to judge the material world, it's not a viable strategy. For example the house that you are living in, hopefully you trust and respect the people that built it otherwise you might worry that they skipped safety standards and it could collapse at any time. 

It's not pretension to expect high standards from people, in times of low pressure incompetence can do the job but anytime the shit hits the fan you will realize quickly the difference between relying on solid structures or house of cards. 

Another example are the people that respected Donald Trump without being critical of his background and then trusted him to watch over their safety and that of their children and then he dragged them into a war that can easily descend into acts of terrorism on american soil. 

Another common one are women that respect a man without thinking it through and once they get pregnant and have kids realize that their partner is a deadbeat and they can't rely on him. 

 

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

I understand that perspective but I think it's a bit dangerous. You cannot rely on relativism to judge the material world, it's not a viable strategy. For example the house that you are living in, hopefully you trust and respect the people that built it otherwise you might worry that they skipped safety standards and it could collapse at any time. 

It's not pretension to expect high standards from people, in times of low pressure incompetence can do the job but anytime the shit hits the fan you will realize quickly the difference between relying on solid structures or house of cards. 

Another example are the people that respected Donald Trump without being critical of his background and then trusted him to watch over their safety and that of their children and then he dragged them into a war that can easily descend into acts of terrorism on american soil. 

Another common one are women that respect a man without thinking it through and once they get pregnant and have kids realize that their partner is a deadbeat and they can't rely on him. 

 

Again I don't understand this idea so I don't know. If someone does something wrong to me I'll want to avoid them from now on or even hit them if it's too bad but that's all.
 

[PenguinPablo]

I feel like when you are not respected any real intimacy or trust is not possible.

Because your perspective is basically invalidated. 

Love is much more nebulous and complicated.

Especially with human ego, attachments an so on and so forth. 

It is very easy to detect the presence or absence of respect.

[Jirh]

@Schizophonia

Respect is acknowledgement.

But perhaps that's not very helpful, so I will suggest that it's best understood in contrast with disrespect.

You should be able to spot disrespect easily. Respect is simply the lack of that.

Someone who respects you will not disrespect you (consciously or willingly), as stupidly funny as that sounds 😅

[Joseph Maynor]

3 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

What does respect even mean? I don't understand this concept actually.

I agree.  It seems to be a burden to carry if someone respects someone.  Now they have to live up to that.

[Sincerity]

41 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I agree.  It seems to be a burden to carry if someone respects someone.  Now they have to live up to that.

In truth, love is a responsibility too.

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:

It seems to be a burden to carry if someone respects someone.  Now they have to live up to that.

That's the whole point.

Respect needs to be inherently burdensome.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

That's the whole point.

Respect needs to be inherently burdensome.

Who bears the burden?  And what is the value of that?

[aurum]

6 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Who bears the burden?  And what is the value of that?

The person who is respected bears the burden.

The value is that if you fail to hold the burden, you lose respect.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

The person who is respected bears the burden.

The value is that if you fail to hold the burden, you lose respect.

But this becomes a burden, no?  

[aurum]

Just now, Joseph Maynor said:

But this becomes a burden, no?  

Yes, of course.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, aurum said:

Yes, of course.

But you have to follow through with the expectations of that burden.

[Jirh]

It's not a burden if you authentically like doing it.

[aurum]

5 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

But you have to follow through with the expectations of that burden.

Yes, that's how respect works.

[aurum]

1 minute ago, Jirh said:

It's not a burden if you authentically like doing it.

Still a burden, just willing taken on.