Most Dating Books/Teachers Aren't Exceptional

[BlessedLion]

The reason i didn't make the title "Most dating books suck" is because they don't. They typically point out major flaws that guys make in dating and help to get better results. At the same time, I've yet to see anyone who really "nails it" with a level of excellence and precision like a consciousness master like Ralston or Wilber would.

 

And i get it, they have more important things to focus on. But, imagine Peter Ralston wrote a book on attraction and dating, it would be completely unlike anything you had ever seen and would likely be extremely powerful and effective. 

 

The closest i have seen to really contemplating the topic in a stage Yellow type of format is David DeAngelo. I recently saw a course of his on advanced dating techniques and it blew my mind the amount of research and integration he did. 

 

But still, i've really yet to find anyone get to the CORE of attraction. What IS attraction? How does it work? Why is it that way? 

Not even just in the sense of so you can get laid, but just for the passion of understanding such a complex topic. Like what is thing called attraction, that runs life itself and supports reproduction and why does it happen in this certain way? What makes some men so much more attractive than others? 

 

Not in some newbie 10 tips for dating way, but really getting at the foundation and workings of it. Also not some bland generic answer like status, height, looks, money- these don't build true attraction imo in any significant way, that's more of a survival response.  And since i've found no one who goes that deep i am going to begin working on it myself.

 

What actually is sexual attraction? How does one master attraction? 

[Valach]

21 minutes ago, BlessedLion said:

The reason i didn't make the title "Most dating books suck" is because they don't. They typically point out major flaws that guys make in dating and help to get better results. At the same time, I've yet to see anyone who really "nails it" with a level of excellence and precision like a consciousness master like Ralston or Wilber would.

 

And i get it, they have more important things to focus on. But, imagine Peter Ralston wrote a book on attraction and dating, it would be completely unlike anything you had ever seen and would likely be extremely powerful and effective. 

 

The closest i have seen to really contemplating the topic in a stage Yellow type of format is David DeAngelo. I recently saw a course of his on advanced dating techniques and it blew my mind the amount of research and integration he did. 

 

But still, i've really yet to find anyone get to the CORE of attraction. What IS attraction? How does it work? Why is it that way? 

Not even just in the sense of so you can get laid, but just for the passion of understanding such a complex topic. Like what is thing called attraction, that runs life itself and supports reproduction and why does it happen in this certain way? What makes some men so much more attractive than others? 

 

Not in some newbie 10 tips for dating way, but really getting at the foundation and workings of it. Also not some bland generic answer like status, height, looks, money- these don't build true attraction imo in any significant way, that's more of a survival response.  And since i've found no one who goes that deep i am going to begin working on it myself.

 

What actually is sexual attraction? How does one master attraction? 

Hmmm, I think it's hard to do because I am of the belief that a lot of attraction is even more subconscious than traditional PUA would make you believe. There are the more visible aspects of a person that attracts us such as looks, behaviour, confidence, humor, wit, subcommunication etc.

But then there is the whole aspect of this burried deep down in our psyche such as how we relate to persons shadows, how much they remind us of our primary care givers, how familiar the whole dynamic with their relating feels etc.

I always used to joke that it was not just looks and personality that I liked about my ex. What was driving me towards her as well was that my demons were really attracted to her demons.

So it is a very complex things and some aspects of it are not really that much in our control.

The more I think about it the more I belief that a lot of PUA is essentially playing into shadows that are the most common among woman. Who knows how would the society and the whole dating game look like if we all healed.

Edited 3 hours ago by Valach

[Miguel1]

Teal Swan has some interesting takes on sexual attraction.

It would be interesting to have Peter Ralston write a book about it. It would be either a masterpiece or a total miss.

But I do find this topic interesting. What is it that truly attracts?

My own attraction has shifted dramatically, the more I have done this work. The more mature and conscious I become, the more I am attracted to depth and maturity.

The more empathetic I become, the more I am attracted to empathy in others; and the more selfishness turns me off.

There is a huge difference in what I am attracted to now vs 10 years ago. Can’t even compare. Even compared to 5 years ago, the difference was huge.

Edited 1 hour ago by Miguel1