Most Dating Books/Teachers Aren't Exceptional

[BlessedLion]

6 hours ago, aurum said:

I can be attracted to someone I know logically is not a good idea to pursue. In which case, I can overrule my attraction. But that doesn't usually change the attraction itself.

I think this is why so many women go through a phase of dating toxic "bad boy" type guys who just string them along for an emotional rollercoaster that they know is bad for them but they go on because it is exciting. Quite similar to drug addicts these women are addicted to the emotional stimulation and invalidation these men make them feel. I see it time and time again 

[BlessedLion]

6 hours ago, aurum said:

And it seems to work like a feedback loop with the other person, where my state of consciousness influences them and their state influences me.

It's quite beautiful in that sense

[Sugarcoat]

On 2026-07-18 at 9:51 AM, BlessedLion said:

For sure, I think Sweden in general is a very Stage Green society so that makes sense. What would crush it in Los Angeles would likely fail hard in Stockholm, timeless principles aside. Also, I've heard the dating culture and male/female dynamics are different 

Yea i find it’s very open and accepting overall. But they still value rationality and critical thinking, I find they can be bit too “careful” in that regard, too much focus on intellectual nuance rather than combining it with intuitively feeling things (especially news and related media and institutions give this impression) It makes sense to me there’s not much “spiritual community” in Sweden despite being so highly developed, because they are still somehow stuck in this intellectualism (my guess is millennials are more so like this than Gen Z) but not so heavily egoic like what I’ve seen on media from USA. It’s hard to pin point exactly why USA seems so different, but the atmosphere comes off as much more ~intense~

Regarding difference in dating culture and dynamics, I don’t notice that much approaching in Sweden by Swedish guys or just Swedish-born guys in general, it’s more through social network. Also, I find if someone would express (or even admit to themselves) they desire strong masculine/feminine polarity, it could be perceived as giving a “conservative” vibe (lol) so people are not so deeply in touch with that (talking about Swedes and in particular what seems like the “Swedish mentality”, which a non-Swede could adopt too)

Edited Monday at 10:47 AM by Sugarcoat

[Ulax]

On 17/07/2026 at 7:03 PM, Sugarcoat said:

Yes, I agree, I’ve gotten that impression too even as a woman

I live in Sweden and Swedes can be quite “intellectual”, so theres not much stereotypically stage green, but I sense that the pickup mindset I’ve seen most commonly wouldn’t work on a lot of Swedish women either, they’re too sensitive to shallowness in social relations. Just an example how it goes beyond spiritual communities too 

That's more of an issue of skill level than pickup not working in a certain place. Pickup is just what works to get girls.

The advanced guys just switch it up, and do what works in a certain culture.

[bazera]

What are your favourite David DeAngelo courses?

I found a list of titles for his courses:

https://daviddeangelo-pua.blogspot.com

Which one would you guys suggest getting first?

 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2026-07-20 at 1:01 PM, Ulax said:

That's more of an issue of skill level than pickup not working in a certain place. Pickup is just what works to get girls.

The advanced guys just switch it up, and do what works in a certain culture.

Idk what you consider "advanced guys" because if he "just switches it up" it could be in a shallow fake way where he is not much independent in how he is, so theres still significant portion of women who could smell that shallowness. 

In my comment I meant what i've most commonly heard in regards to "pick up", meanwhile advanced is rare. 

Edited 23 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Ulax]

8 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Idk what you consider "advanced guys" because if he "just switches it up" it could be in a shallow fake way where he is not much independent in how he is, so theres still significant portion of women who could smell that shallowness. 

Lol nah. Women always be overrating how well they can see through stuff. 

 

[Sugarcoat]

4 hours ago, Ulax said:

Lol nah. Women always be overrating how well they can see through stuff. 

 

That applies to many humans in general, if women stand out in that regard feel free to share why you think so 

 

Edited 11 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Ulax]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

That applies to many humans in general, if women stand out in that regard feel free to share why you think so 

 

The self aggrandising aspects of modern female culture

[Leo Gura]

Women don't think logically about attraction, making themselves easy to fool. Most women are just naive to the kind of tactics men have invented to snare them. Especially young women between 18-30. Women become more savvy with years.

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

8 hours ago, Ulax said:

The self aggrandising aspects of modern female culture

This is something men participate in on an individual level also - and it was present prior to any sort of modern culture.

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This is something men participate in on an individual level also - and it was present prior to any sort of modern culture.

First part, partly true. Second part, untrue.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

First part, partly true. Second part, untrue.

You think self aggrandizement (in men and woman - humans) was not part of our experience prior to modern times?

[Ulax]

1 minute ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

You think self aggrandizement (in men and woman - humans) was not part of our experience prior to modern times?

Not to this level with women

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Just now, Ulax said:

Not to this level with women

Are you speaking for all generations, or just the lower brackets?

I haven't looked into it myself - but you seem to know. Do you have any quality sources you can point me to?

[Ulax]

36 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Are you speaking for all generations, or just the lower brackets?

I haven't looked into it myself - but you seem to know. Do you have any quality sources you can point me to?

*points at my brain*

[Natasha Tori Maru]

7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

*points at my brain*

That's fine, if you don't want to engage.

[Ulax]

10 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

That's fine, if you don't want to engage.

Yes engagement would be moving too fast for me. We haven't even been on a date before.