Most Dating Books/Teachers Aren't Exceptional

[BlessedLion]

6 hours ago, aurum said:

I can be attracted to someone I know logically is not a good idea to pursue. In which case, I can overrule my attraction. But that doesn't usually change the attraction itself.

I think this is why so many women go through a phase of dating toxic "bad boy" type guys who just string them along for an emotional rollercoaster that they know is bad for them but they go on because it is exciting. Quite similar to drug addicts these women are addicted to the emotional stimulation and invalidation these men make them feel. I see it time and time again 

[BlessedLion]

6 hours ago, aurum said:

And it seems to work like a feedback loop with the other person, where my state of consciousness influences them and their state influences me.

It's quite beautiful in that sense

[Sugarcoat]

On 2026-07-18 at 9:51 AM, BlessedLion said:

For sure, I think Sweden in general is a very Stage Green society so that makes sense. What would crush it in Los Angeles would likely fail hard in Stockholm, timeless principles aside. Also, I've heard the dating culture and male/female dynamics are different 

Yea i find it’s very open and accepting overall. But they still value rationality and critical thinking, I find they can be bit too “careful” in that regard, too much focus on intellectual nuance rather than combining it with intuitively feeling things (especially news and related media and institutions give this impression) It makes sense to me there’s not much “spiritual community” in Sweden despite being so highly developed, because they are still somehow stuck in this intellectualism (my guess is millennials are more so like this than Gen Z) but not so heavily egoic like what I’ve seen on media from USA. It’s hard to pin point exactly why USA seems so different, but the atmosphere comes off as much more ~intense~

Regarding difference in dating culture and dynamics, I don’t notice that much approaching in Sweden by Swedish guys or just Swedish-born guys in general, it’s more through social network. Also, I find if someone would express (or even admit to themselves) they desire strong masculine/feminine polarity, it could be perceived as giving a “conservative” vibe (lol) so people are not so deeply in touch with that (talking about Swedes and in particular what seems like the “Swedish mentality”, which a non-Swede could adopt too)

Edited 19 hours ago by Sugarcoat

[Ulax]

On 17/07/2026 at 7:03 PM, Sugarcoat said:

Yes, I agree, I’ve gotten that impression too even as a woman

I live in Sweden and Swedes can be quite “intellectual”, so theres not much stereotypically stage green, but I sense that the pickup mindset I’ve seen most commonly wouldn’t work on a lot of Swedish women either, they’re too sensitive to shallowness in social relations. Just an example how it goes beyond spiritual communities too 

That's more of an issue of skill level than pickup not working in a certain place. Pickup is just what works to get girls.

The advanced guys just switch it up, and do what works in a certain culture.