Are You Aligned In Life?

[Miguel1]

This is why I am sick of pick up based dating and sex. It's performance based. I push buttons to get reactions. There is no real intimacy, connection, passion, safety with the other person. There is no truth in it! There is no trust and surrender. There is no real caring.

 

Edited Wednesday at 07:54 PM by Miguel1

[Miguel1]

4 hours ago, bazera said:

Yeah, a huge part of the work of becoming more conscious involves accepting selfishness, I also struggle with it and I'm almost certain this struggle will intensify tenfold once I have some Awakenings and try to integrate the insights into relative world.

Still, without such consciousness, even with selfishness, sometimes when I dwell on my own, how selfish I was in intimate relationships, with my family, friends, etc, and how robotic and automatic life becomes from time to time with all the addictions and survival stuff, it sickens me, but I also try to see the reasonings behind it, the intelligence that was behind it. Even addiction is a very intelligence mechanism, just to observe how it completely absorbs you to keep you surviving the only way it knows, not to mention the mechanism behind the selfishness itself as a whole, it's so complex and interesting, but at the same time obstructive if one is trying to transcend it or change life circumstances to allow more trutful living.

Well said.

Quote

Yeah after a while that will get real boring. Something has to be rekindeling connection.

Maybe she needed more time to open up and go deeper with you? Or maybe she needed introductions to certain topics that she'd find interest in? I don't know, trying to see the situation from her perspective as well.

I talked to her literally like we were in fantasy land. I took her to watch the ocean, we drank wine, and I told her that I am going to build us a castle, she makes it a home for us, and I will bring us food and protect us from outside danger.

Then we played miniclip / browser games online. This was the most simple girl I have ever dated. But there is no way I could build a serious relationship and life with her, as her ability to think was almost 0.

[Elliott]

Just one of the ways patriarchy takes away from even men.

[UnbornTao]

@Miguel1 My God, you really insist on pretending that your shit is somehow special because you're glamorized by being here. I'm sorry - besides my frustration at hearing BS, I like poking fun and playing the jester.

You can hear this as an 'ugly, unloving thing' from 'unconscious' people (mostly because you don't like hearing it and it doesn't confirm your fantasies), or actually pay attention to what you're doing.

[Miguel1]

@UnbornTao I am usually quite a patient and compassionate guy but you are actually starting to piss me off now.

Since you never bring any proper information and in a constructive and friendly manner on the table, and on the other hand, just post these empty passive-aggressive bullshit, I am losing my patient with you.

I already asked you once to stop contributing here. This will be my second time. If there is a third time, we will involve other moderators and possibly Leo in this.

Nicely said: if you have nothing to add, leave me the fuck alone. Thank you.

[UnbornTao]

On 7/1/2026 at 11:45 PM, Miguel1 said:

@UnbornTao I am usually quite a patient and compassionate guy but you are actually starting to piss me off now.

Since you never bring any proper information and in a constructive and friendly manner on the table, and on the other hand, just post these empty passive-aggressive bullshit, I am losing my patient with you.

I already asked you once to stop contributing here. This will be my second time. If there is a third time, we will involve other moderators and possibly Leo in this.

Nicely said: if you have nothing to add, leave me the fuck alone. Thank you.

Anything but listening.

Hey, use this. As a contrast to your fluffy theories and feel-good philosophies. At least it's starting to get more real now. You can probably tell that your facade doesn't work with me. You're full of it, and that's OK. If you claim to be so advanced, then confront this.

We can all talk about our commitment to "truth." And in practice we tend to run away from it like the plague (by ignoring it, for example), especially when it contradicts what we want to hear.

Edited 13 hours ago by UnbornTao

[oOo]

I actually feel like moderators should be held to a higher standard. Leo has shown this as well. This is now, growth overtime. 

@Miguel1 I encourage you to use this challenge as one you can learn from with dignity. Backing down and asking for support from others is asking people to also be an enabler on something that if you clarified within yourself, externally or not, would benefit your relationship to the forum.

Passivity is what leads to passive aggression, calling things out as one sees them and then banning or reprimanding encourages passive aggression.

@UnbornTao you're an idiot sometimes, granted, but we all are in our own way. People coming together on a personal development forum for mere passive positivity and endorsements from others is just as bad as people coming together to bring others down. 

"Truth", as the forum meme runs it, involves challenge, and if the 'forum' doesn't know how to refine how this requirement outputs against grace overtime, then "truth" can just as easily be used as a cloak where challenge is misrepresents truth and passivity subtracts from truth. 

Hard coded rules reflect the inflexibility of the forums identity itself, where moderators at least in spirit, should be emboldening at least partial frontiers. 

If the forum learns how to embrace conflict in a healthy way, it is a measurement of its growth trajectory. If not, it is a measurement of its decay. This pattern has stood the test of time for this forum, and reflects both where its contracted in areas versus where its expanded.

No one should back down. Look in, and decide. Intervene, ban or reprimand where it is genuinely unhealthy for any growth trajectory. These things should be 'playground obvious'.

I welcome challenge from others, that said, if its genuinely a waste for my time, I will ignore or have it removed if I view the content as merely self-serving to the individual and not the subject at hand. 

These are not "social manipulative games" Miguel. We are all consciousnesses, and we are etching for the truth, and to learn how to grow from it. Are you? I'll leave that question for you, and for you to answer of your own free will. 

[Elliott]

When someone comes to you having a hard time, that's not the time to push them.

Go easy during the hard times, hard during the easy times.

[Osaid]

If you like playing games, then you attract people who like playing games. Until you don't wanna play anymore.

Indeed, alignment is important.

[Joseph Maynor]

4 minutes ago, Osaid said:

If you like playing games, then you attract people who like playing games. Until you don't wanna play anymore.

Indeed, alignment is important.

Everyone is playing games.  

[Yimpa]

On 6/28/2026 at 6:10 AM, Miguel1 said:

”Am I aligned with what I am doing in life right now?”

”Is this what I want?”

”Is this headed to where I want my life to go?”

https://www.adamwhy.com/nothing-matters-but-love/

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Um hm.  So how are your doing?

I have been going through a metamorphosis, life transition, healing my relationships, getting clear on my values. It’s painful, tedious, hard work, but I am also starting to feel more in touch with myself. Whereas before I was trying to live someone else’s life.

[Jirh]

56 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Everyone is playing games.  

Not everyone.

Some people are playing life. We actually have little time for games.

[Joseph Maynor]

1 minute ago, Jirh said:

Not everyone.

Some people are playing life. We actually have little time for games.

Yes, they have little time because they are playing games.

[Elliott]

19 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Yes, they have little time because they are playing games.

🍻 

[Joseph Maynor]

3 minutes ago, Elliott said:

🍻 

I'm not saying this is bad necessarily.  We need to learn how to perform.  This is not a bug it is a feature!  

Edited yesterday at 03:01 AM by Joseph Maynor

[Eskilon]

@Miguel1  Would u game this hotie witch girlfriend? 

She is waiting for you, you gonna become a 5-meo source. What better future could one wish for?

Edited 21 hours ago by Eskilon

[Joshe]

On 7/1/2026 at 1:49 AM, Miguel1 said:

But I would also love to have ’intellectual intimacy’ with them. I would love to explore beautiful ideas and topics, like consciousness, truth, love, empathy.

When I think of how to do this with a girl, I find it difficult to come up with a way that wouldn’t be considered cringe by most girls. Staring deep into their eyes and talking about building castles and things like this would be really hard to do without coming off as cringe. It’s possible to bring them into your world, but you’re gonna need some tact, which I wouldn’t think of as manipulation or inauthenticity, but more like building a bridge, and the construction starts where they are. For most girls, you can’t just have them stare at a sunset and gaze deep into their eyes and start talking about castles without some serious tact. 

[Miguel1]

24 minutes ago, Joshe said:

When I think of how to do this with a girl, I find it difficult to come up with a way that wouldn’t be considered cringe by most girls. Staring deep into their eyes and talking about building castles and things like this would be really hard to do without coming off as cringe. It’s possible to bring them into your world, but you’re gonna need some tact, which I wouldn’t think of as manipulation or inauthenticity, but more like building a bridge, and the construction starts where they are. For most girls, you can’t just have them stare at a sunset and gaze deep into their eyes and start talking about castles without some serious tact. 

You lost me brother.

How does looking her deep in the eye and talking about building castles have anything to do with intellectual intimacy?

It’s the opposite. It would be fatansy intimacy, which is what I am ”forced” to do with most girls.

[integral]

30 minutes ago, Joshe said:

When I think of how to do this with a girl, I find it difficult to come up with a way that wouldn’t be considered cringe by most girls. Staring deep into their eyes and talking about building castles and things like this would be really hard to do without coming off as cringe. It’s possible to bring them into your world, but you’re gonna need some tact, which I wouldn’t think of as manipulation or inauthenticity, but more like building a bridge, and the construction starts where they are. For most girls, you can’t just have them stare at a sunset and gaze deep into their eyes and start talking about castles without some serious tact. 

There's always gonna be humour, laughter and fun involved, don't imagine it as a serious thing.

It's playfulness that leads to other doors opening