I miss myself

[ladelle]

I miss the person I was before I took the spiritual path. I didn’t even chose to take this path, it just happened to me. I want my old self back, I want her back, I miss her, where is she? Am I the only one to feel this way?

[Sugarcoat]

Imagine her

[Oppositionless]

You would have lost your old self no matter what, thats just life. Even if you never did any spirituality, the person you are now is going to die , soon you won't even remember what it was like to be this person . I think most people feel this way sometimes. But I've learned that nostalgia is tricky and usually not a super trustworthy metric. It's easy to ignore the bad and focus on the good when you're not living through something anymore. Like sometimes I get nostalgic for my early 20s, but I also know that my early 20s was HELL. Lol.

Edited 23 hours ago by Oppositionless

[ladelle]

10 hours ago, Oppositionless said:

You would have lost your old self no matter what, thats just life. Even if you never did any spirituality, the person you are now is going to die , soon you won't even remember what it was like to be this person . I think most people feel this way sometimes. But I've learned that nostalgia is tricky and usually not a super trustworthy metric. It's easy to ignore the bad and focus on the good when you're not living through something anymore. Like sometimes I get nostalgic for my early 20s, but I also know that my early 20s was HELL. Lol.

I’m very nostalgic and I’m afraid to age.

[ladelle]

10 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Imagine her

You think it will manifest? I’m tired to feel like I live more in my imagination than in the physical reality

[Mellowmarsh]

11 hours ago, ladelle said:

I miss the person I was before I took the spiritual path. I didn’t even chose to take this path, it just happened to me. I want my old self back, I want her back, I miss her, where is she? Am I the only one to feel this way?

Love this. 😭

Grief is Love with nowhere to go. 😥😥😥

[gettoefl]

If spirituality isn't making me happy, it is wrong. Do I want to be happy or right? Ah I am not right I am wrong. Let's change lanes. Perhaps I can be happy.

[Mellowmarsh]

I’m sad af.

[ladelle]

4 hours ago, Mellowmarsh said:

Love this. 😭

Grief is Love with nowhere to go. 😥😥😥

🥹

[Mellowmarsh]

37 minutes ago, ladelle said:

🥹

You are alone, an only child, and so am I

 

Let’s both yearn together for something that will always be unattainable. 🥹

[Stick]

16 hours ago, ladelle said:

I want her back, I miss her, where is she?

She never existed

[gettoefl]

Quote

 

Now do we live, for now we cannot die. The wish for death is answered, and the sight that looked upon it now has been replaced by vision which perceives that you are not what you pretend to be. One walks with you Who gently answers all your fears with this one merciful reply, "It is not so." He points to all the gifts you have each time the thought of poverty oppresses you, and speaks of His Companionship when you perceive yourself as lonely and afraid.

Yet He reminds you still of one thing more you had forgotten. That His touch on you makes you like Himself. The gifts you have are not for you alone. What He has come to offer you, you now must learn to give. This is the lesson that His giving holds, for He has saved you from the solitude you sought to make in which to hide from God. He here reminds you of all the gifts that God has given you. He speaks as well of what becomes your will when you accept these gifts, and recognize they are your own.

The gifts are yours, entrusted to your care, to give to all who chose the lonely road you want to escape. They do not understand they but pursue their own wishes. It is you who will teach them now. For you learn of Him that there is another way for them to walk. Teach them by showing them the absolute happiness that comes to those who feel your touch, and recognize God's gifts. Let sorrow no longer tempt you to be unfaithful to His trust in you.

Your sighs would now betray the hopes of those who look to you for their release. Your tears will be theirs. If you are sick, it is only because you but withhold their healing. What you fear but teaches them their fears are justified. Your hand becomes the giver of this touch; your change of mind is now the proof that the one who accepts God's gifts can never suffer anything. You are hereby entrusted with the world's release from pain.

Betray the call not. Become the living proof of what your touch can offer everyone. God has entrusted all His gifts to you. Be witness in your happiness to how transformed the mind becomes which chooses to accept His gifts. Such is your mission now. For God entrusts the giving of His gifts to all who have received them. He has shared His joy with you. And now you go to share it with the world.

- ACIM

 

Edited 7 hours ago by gettoefl

[Jirh]

 

[Ziran]

17 hours ago, ladelle said:

I miss the person I was before I took the spiritual path. I didn’t even chose to take this path, it just happened to me. I want my old self back, I want her back, I miss her, where is she? Am I the only one to feel this way?

No, you're not alone.  It's a significant "let-down".  Many refer to awakening as a "burden".  A heavy burden.

But, be assured if you keep going, consistently on any path,  eventually it flips.

Best wishes,

[Schizophonia]

17 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Imagine her

Schizoid solution

[glassfire]

Lately, (in my lucid dream) my first girlfriend told me "You had to move on.", I answered "No, I had not.".

[Ziran]

5 hours ago, gettoefl said:

If spirituality isn't making me happy, it is wrong. 

~nods~

If it doesn't feel right, then, it's not the end.

[cetus]

What happens is the ego says "Ooo Spiritual Enlightenment. I have to have some of that!"

But what the ego doesn't realize is enlightenment is a lot like what a Venus Flytrap is to a bug. It attracts and consumes.

Edited 4 hours ago by cetus

[Oppositionless]

10 hours ago, ladelle said:

I’m very nostalgic and I’m afraid to age.

I think studies have shown that , controlling for deteriorating health, people tend to get happier as they age :D. 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Ziran said:

If it doesn't feel right, then, it's not the end.