I want to share but it's complicated

[WonderSeeker]

Post below if this speaks to you. Either I'm full of shit, or you can relate on some level.

The skinny: I find it hard to participate on this forum. It has nothing to do with the quality of the forum (I actually like it here and think it's a pretty clean and elevated place).

I find it hard relating to the forum. I feel like my psyche is so refined I don't know what to even comment or contribute. I'm not saying I think I'm better or more developed. Not at all.

I feel like right now, the way my mind works is such that I just couldn't be bothered I guess. It's not that I don't want to. I feel like I'm bathing in my own mind's juices, enjoying my own company, relishing in my own insights and path, which makes it hard to get out and participate.

Don't get me wrong... I date. I hangout. I work. I'm not speaking about social isolation.

It's more like psychic isolation. "Will anyone even get me? Do I even get me?"

Actually, here's what I really mean. Here's the part that's a bitch:

I don't know how to put any of this insights that I think / know / am aware of into words.

Words become lame when you become more conscious. I'm not even talking about enlightenment or God realization!

Just, once you've read a good 100 self-ac/spiritual books, tripped 20+ times (appenetly that's not even a lot for some of you guys), moved provinces/countries, experienced different relationships, chiseled away passionately at a life purpose, and let a lot of these Actualized meta-ideas sink in and put them into practice....

You really start to get the game.

And from what I know, there is no universal reaction to this understanding. It varys from person to person.

But right now mine is: "Damn. WTF. I wanna share what I'm aware of, but I might not be intelligent enough to do so (yet)."

It's weird.

Right now I'm sitting here, chilling in an imaginary hot tub, bathing in a psychic soup of my own imagination. I haven't done any serious spritual practice in years, with the exception of quarterly psychedelic trips, the last one being in February 2026. Yet somehow God's insightful fangs keep biting their teeth deeper into my being, injecting me with deeper levels of the already known, and the unknown.

Again, post if you relate. If not, leave this empty and let it become yet another artifact of the Actualized forum

[aurum]

@WonderSeeker

If you feel your understanding now far eclipses that of the ordinary person, then that's an opportunity for leadership. 

Lead us to greater understanding.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Do you feel like seeking has slowed down, or stopped?

[Hojo]

@WonderSeeker You just think about God and then write it down. People might argue but there is alot of arguing on this forum, its actually helpful for people here as you will argue so much your brain stops caring it helps you in real life.