Anger is not always wrong

[integral]

3 minutes ago, No1Here2c said:

I recently had an experience where I felt very a powerful momentum during contemplation.

I, admittedly, was utilizing the 'wrong' medium to record my thoughts as they passed through. It was an untrustworthy digital medium.

I was moving very quickly, and in the whiplash of it all it turns out I made a critical error, in an instant I lost all of my recorded progress with which I wanted to utilize in order to go back an integrate my apparent 'contemplation work'

The realization of what i had lost there really triggered something in me. I was quite furious. I cannot tell if this anger was drawn out from a mature location inside or not. It was EXTREME.

What is can tell, is that the way I went about dealing with & expressing my anger, reached far beyond acceptable bounds. 

Now does immature expression inherently imply an immature source? Or just lack of self mastery?

Ive definitely been in that situation where I deleted something irreversible or someone else deleted something irreversible which was even worse emotionally.

Anger is a natural response to loss what matters in this case is how long did you hold on to it and do you have a healthy relationship with setbacks?

Normally if I get a huge spike in anger and it happens I fully recover in between 10 to 15 minutes. After that I back to normal and I could see things through a lens of wisdom again.

All of those monks do the same thing, they get angry there's some yelling and then they recover and they come back to wisdom.

Anger management problems is completely different from getting angry occasionally.

[integral]

42 minutes ago, No1Here2c said:

Seemed to take at least a day or two to recover back to my baseline sense of emotional stability. I was ready to completely walk away from everything. Very unhealthy reaction. Anger quickly becomes exponential for me and like wildfire begins to cause damage in all realms of my experience.

Notably, Anger especially impacts my sense of 'keeping it together' such that I stop even caring about the damage or destruction my words & behaviors will cause not only to others but to myself down the line. Reason goes flying elsewhere for a long while, I fear that with sufficient anger, the momentum of destruction could get out of hand.

It wreaks havoc internally which is reflected in my external experience.

If it lasts 2 days then ya i can see why your spiralling.

Got to find a healthy coping mechanism to manage this, have you tried exercise to change your hormones?

Mine doesnt last long enough to need coping, but during the 15 minutes of intense anger i am thinking very deeply and calculating alot of possibilities. Im searching for "the way out", considering many perspectives. Im thinking of "the bigger picture" and placing everything in order of importance.

But i have no idea if this is useful for people who get "stuck" on a emotion, i do no that when people get stuck is because they are rambling in there head very negative thoughts with out forcing themselve to think about higher order things. They will sit in there one bad perspective and often act like a victim and blame everything. In this case they have to force themselse to look at more then one perspective and zoom out.

But i dont know if this works. 

Edited Wednesday at 10:42 PM by integral

[IslandWild]

When the best person you know is angry, it's probably for a good reason.

[integral]

1 hour ago, No1Here2c said:

Self mastery 

💯 100% responsibility

Edited Thursday at 12:22 AM by integral

[Jodistrict]

Is it possible to be in a state of anger and not suffer?

[Basman]

9 hours ago, Jodistrict said:

Is it possible to be in a state of anger and not suffer?

In my experience, if you are suffering and anrgy then your also hurt and probably denying your emotions. 

Anger is just anger. I don't suffer it in of itself.

[gettoefl]

Everyone is angry not just you. What you need is the antidote. Forgiveness. You have to hold in your mind that nobody out here wants to be a murderer. That's how YOU stop being a murderer. 

[Jodistrict]

3 hours ago, Basman said:

In my experience, if you are suffering and anrgy then your also hurt and probably denying your emotions. 

Anger is just anger. I don't suffer it in of itself.

My experience is that if anger arises there is suffering.

[Ulax]

I like that you are talking about the validity of anger. However, its too black-or-white to tell people to stop running from anger or negative emotions in their environment. I'm concerned that could lead to people staying in dangerous or abusive situations.

[PsychedelicEagle]

Ideally you address the issue when it's at the level of annoyance, before it rises to the anger part of the spectrum.

Sometimes it's not possible, and then anger is OK.

But if it happens too often it's a hint the person may be lacking the self-awareness and emotional maturity required to spot it and act upon it already at lower levels of the spectrum.

[Joseph Maynor]

49 minutes ago, PsychedelicEagle said:

Ideally you address the issue when it's at the level of annoyance, before it rises to the anger part of the spectrum.

Sometimes it's not possible, and then anger is OK.

But if it happens too often it's a hint the person may be lacking the self-awareness and emotional maturity required to spot it and act upon it already at lower levels of the spectrum.

But this hinges on how well you know a person.  This seems to be an abstraction.  This is a problem too.  We're generalizing based on Internet relation.

[Basman]

18 hours ago, Jodistrict said:

My experience is that if anger arises there is suffering.

Suffering is resistance to what is. You can feel hurt and angry without suffering from it. You can't control what you feel. 

This notion that anger is a failure of character is hogwash. 

[Jodistrict]

11 hours ago, Basman said:

You can feel hurt and angry without suffering from it.

"I have become comfortably numb" 

   - Pink Floyd

[Joseph Maynor]

I think there's a myth in spiritual enlightenment groupthink that anger or being triggered is always caused by ego.  Ditto for all emotions seen as belonging to ego alone.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Joseph Maynor

When do you perceive anger to arrive from sources outside the ego?

Edited 3 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[No1Here2c]

Anger is as a direct result of ego. Anger would not arise without a self to defend.

In complete selflessness what would there ever be to be upset about?

Edited 3 hours ago by No1Here2c

[Joseph Maynor]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Joseph Maynor

When do you perceive anger to arrive from sources outside the ego?

I'll frame it like this, show me someone who never criticizes anything.  That's someone truly without anger.  And that is very rare.

[Joseph Maynor]

2 hours ago, No1Here2c said:

Anger is as a direct result of ego. Anger would not arise without a self to defend.

In complete selflessness what would there ever be to be upset about?

Nobody behaves this way.  

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Joseph Maynor Critisizm is for sure not the only source of anger - in fact - one can criticize without anger.

[Joseph Maynor]

11 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@Joseph Maynor Critisizm is for sure not the only source of anger - in fact - one can criticize without anger.

I disagree.  Criticism always follows from anger.  We might disagree here.  I didn't say criticism is the only source of anger.  I hope not.

Edited 23 minutes ago by Joseph Maynor