Should you share your emotions with a women?

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, bazera said:

What would you change if you still had some time?

Yes, I would try to share more of my struggles. This is unnatural for me since I don't share my problems with anyone. But in a serious relationship you gotta do the hard stuff.

Edited 7 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Xonas Pitfall]

I agree with most responses that it heavily depends, and a lot of the time, it is just a mismatch of the moment, or between the man and the woman. (I just want to get that out of the way first!)

However, one thing that’s worth noting is that a lot of the time, if you’re not showing cues that you appreciate someone and that you’re being genuine, it can become difficult for them to feel safe and trusting in a relationship. I feel like this is more common on the women's end than on the men's end, because women are more socially conditioned to be expressive in this way.

A good exercise, if you're a guy, is to imagine your woman being cold and stoic toward you, yet everything on the surface seems fine. You date, hang out, have sex, and have fun. How would you feel?

In relationships in general, both genders usually want to experience that sense of emotional safety. I think that’s one reason men often say they like or want a “feminine woman,” because she will show and share her emotions clearly and vulnerably. When she adores him, when she is impacted or inspired by him, or when she feels emotional because of him, she expresses it openly. All of these cues are ways of showing someone that they matter to you. If you do things too coldly, it can become difficult to really know what the other person is actually feeling.

Another reason, I think, is that if there is some emotional disconnection or issue in the relationship, the more emotionally attuned person will be more likely to pick up on it. Because of that, they may want more reassurance and vulnerability in order to feel like the issue is being resolved. So they might seem like they want more ‘intimacy’ than the other person, even though the issue is already present. They’re simply more receptive to it and more aware of the potential long-term consequences.

Quote

so they can get inside your mind.

I also feel like there is a bit of bias in that sentence. Guys desire a woman who is very adoring of her man, which is why they often say they want someone “submissive” or “open to influence.” If that isn’t getting into someone’s mind . . .

Ultimately, both people generally want to feel like they matter a lot to the other person. So if a woman is very receptive to you, does things for you, is eager to be around you all the time, shares openly, gets jealous, or cries because she cares about your opinion, then of course, you’re less likely to feel that emptiness or the need for further reassurance and emotional support. You already receive so much of it. Imagine if all of that suddenly went away. You might even start thinking she’s cheating 

But again, this isn’t me trying to blame everything on the guy - just offering a perspective. As I said at the start, it HEAVILY depends on the situation and the people involved.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

They just want you to share your struggles with them so they can get inside your mind.

Could be just the way this is phrased but it sounds hella avoidant. 'Get' inside your mind sounds like an intrusion. 

If I feel like someone is intruding something isn't right with the relationship, me, or them. 

But yeah, funny choice of words 

[theleelajoker]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

This last passage catches me. I cannot ever totally know another person or their story. But if you were in any sort of circumstances when young where your sense of self was encroached on by another. If you were ever made to feel responsible for someone else's large emotional reaction, it can cause a less stable sense of self to arise. It could be because you have so much openness and empathy the boundaries where you start and end, and where your partner starts and ends, can merge. If a woman isn't ready for that it can feel like their sense of self is merging so, intensly they are losing themselves. This can feel like a death of sorts, of the individual. As much as I think relationships are about dissolving the boundaries between us; they still need to remain to truly experience love - because love exists in the space between.

That's an interesting part. Because I dated a woman once and I'm wondering if what you described here was part of her experience.

Myself, I know this feeling of dissolving of boundaries, but not in relationship instead from intense meditation practice. Definitely was scared and took me few months to adjust.

And I'm assuming that you can only talk about this because you had your own experience. 

I wonder: Maybe it's not about emotions, it's not about being vulnerable, it's not about sharing, or oversharing, it's not about the male/female dynamic. 

Maybe it's simply about facing and accepting who you are.

In my experience, when I drop my masks, and I'm am open, feeling and expressing, then my reflection in others become quite obvious. It becomes impossible NOT to recognize. Could ignore it for 30 years+, but can't do it anymore lol 

And it's a shock, or rather was one. It's like getting a second ball to juggle with, you need a stable identity of self while integrating the fact that you're the whole fucking thing.

Problem is, now you're might be saying "others emotions are told much", but 1) it's your reflection and this you rejecting yourself 2) there's nowhere to go! Yeah seek distance, but no matter where you go, other human forms of you are there. Or you live alone on an island, and you starve of human connection, intimacy etc. Check mate. Accept, confront , express or slowly kill yourself while still alive. 

 

 

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I don't think I answered you or even that this is right on the mark. Just what came out 

I notice you do that kind of comments a lot. You do this to be polite, respectful and humble? I get this but sometimes it seems to me like insecurity, afraid of expressing your true perspective fully with attitude of "that's me, I stand by it".

There's a historical quote from Martin Luther "Here I stand, I can do no other". I like that one because he fully expressed what he thinks is right while not giving a fuck about anything else than that.

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Could be just the way this is phrased but it sounds hella avoidant. 'Get' inside your mind sounds like an intrusion. 

If I feel like someone is intruding something isn't right with the relationship, me, or them. 

But yeah, funny choice of words 

Allow me to rephrase:

She wants to sink her dirty claws into your soul. Curl up inside it like a cat.

Edited 5 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Allow me to rephrase:

She wants to sink her dirty claws into your soul.

Rofl, that's more like it! 🤣 

@theleelajoker

Quote

notice you do that kind of comments a lot. You do this to be polite, respectful and humble? I get this but sometimes it seems to me like insecurity, afraid of expressing your true perspective fully with attitude of "that's me, I stand by it".

I think it's when I am answering a question that is more nebulous; where what I present could be any number of potential answers and I do not consider any one to be THE one. 

I am not so firm in my opinions and observations and very open to changing them. I change them all the time. 

Suffice it to say it is not insecurity - more my personal desire to keep things open. 

I do like to be polite and respectful. But humble? Heh heh. I do not think I am humble. And all politeness and respect can switch off in a flash if there is a transgression. I can be pretty harsh with tongue lashings. Especially if you are a naughty little shit user who needs to have their head pushed in 😈

[Leo Gura]

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the humblest of them all?

Natasha

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Natasha Tori Maru]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Natasha Tori Maru You are the humblest of them all 

It's totally the sneaky ego, humbleness, ain't it? Slinky slippery sly 👀

Little bastard self, always squirming into a new form!

Edited 4 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[theleelajoker]

34 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

 

@theleelajoker

I think it's when I am answering a question that is more nebulous; where what I present could be any number of potential answers and I do not consider any one to be THE one. 

I am not so firm in my opinions and observations and very open to changing them. I change them all the time. 

Suffice it to say it is not insecurity - more my personal desire to keep things open. 

I do like to be polite and respectful. But humble? Heh heh. I do not think I am humble. And all politeness and respect can switch off in a flash if there is a transgression. I can be pretty harsh with tongue lashings. Especially if you are a naughty little shit user who needs to have their head pushed in 😈

It like saying "I am calm" instead of just being calm. Showing it rather then describing.

In a forum, yes more difficult. But IMO the way one writes can already transport that message you describe above without stating it that explicitly.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

21 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

It like saying "I am calm" instead of just being calm. Showing it rather then describing.

In a forum, yes more difficult. But IMO the way one writes can already transport that message you describe above without stating it that explicitly.

Probably the forum platform more than anything. In real life I have a lot more at my disposal to communicate with 

[HopefulMan]

@UpperMaster I haven't read in detail every answer, so maybe I will be redundant, but I will try to work from first-principles

If you work on yourself, you will find most people are at a lower maturity/consciousness/life-skilled level than you
(you probably are to a certain extend given you are here)

So THE men who share their emotions and THE women who receive it do it in a "wrong" way, which lead both to a wrong conclusion

The man may share the emotion and speak sort of in a victim mindset, or a low-self-responsability way --> The problem, for the woman, may not be the sharing of the emotion, but the way he did it
(if he was better communicating or she was better understanding nuance it wouldn't be a turn-off)

I have been myself in the no-emotion sharing (like Leo not out of insecurity, just don't feel like it, not hiding) and also in the high-maturity emotion-sharing. I've had friends there and also in the low-maturity sharing. The difference in how it turns out is in the maturity of one or both of them

I can tell you for sure, if you want a deep relationship, you need to open up, but you need to take the responsibility of doing it "the right way" and if you do it the right way and the relationship cools off, you realized she wasn't it. No way you should spend your time with someone that even when communicating "correctly", that happens. 

Reality is you cannot expect most women to have the point of view of @Natasha Tori Maru , or men Leo's. It is just unlikely, so you are better off being better yourself

[Sincerity]

On 13/03/2026 at 11:06 AM, UpperMaster said:

Is sharing emotions a turnoff, one of my friends has this as a number 1 rule. He says all women say they love when a man is emotional, but this is a HUGE trap.

Is this true?

I think it’s a turnoff when you share emotions from a position of weakness - that is, while still being under the influence of these emotions and needing to share them or get support.

Compare that to sharing them after the fact while having distance to them. Speaking about them as something that took place, but you overcame it.

Or, you can share current emotions from a position of masculine strength like „yes, it’s a bit difficult for me right now, but I’ll get through it. I know I’m strong, I’ll handle it, I believe in myself.”

I did the last two with my ex and she was satisfied with it.

Edited 1 hour ago by Sincerity

[Leo Gura]

It's a turn off if you are weak as a man in general. If you are insecure in your masculinity.

If you are confident you can basically get away with anything.

It becomes a problem when you start act like a woman.

Edited 1 hour ago by Leo Gura

[Hojo]

6 hours ago, bazera said:

Why is there such a need in the first place?

I guess it's a part of building deeper intimacy with another person.

The woman cares about making up stories the man cares about physical. The woman survives by making up stories. The man survives by physical means. The woman is more godly than the man as God is metaphysical. The man is more like an animal. 

Godly = metaphysical aspect, stories, singing, poetry, identity

Animal = physical, food, sex, fighting

Edited 1 hour ago by Hojo

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

It becomes a problem when you start act like a woman.

Which woman hurt you, Leo? 

How's your relationship with your mum? Do you feel loved by her?

Does it make you feel good to spread misogyny?

[Leo Gura]

@theleelajoker Fix your attitude or you will be banned.

[theleelajoker]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@theleelajoker Fix your attitude or you will be banned.

No fucking way. 

I stand with what I said.

Ban me and see me not giving a shit.

[Leo Gura]

Why do you guys keep forcing me to ban you?

Why is it so hard to just behave decently?