A Life-Changing Insight Into Listening

[Sincerity]

14 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Yeah, but this is in the context of listening to another. The risk of interacting within your own bubble is that it can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy with no real feedback.

Well, listening to another is of second importance to listening to Yourself. At least for the purpose of introspection into the fundamental. The answers are within.

I get that in a sense listening to another is absorption and yeah, you become more of what you listen to. So genuine listening to quality or some „enlightened masters” is a good idea. Still, the developing of the flower of You through careful attention is of greater importance.

And besides, the relation you have to others is a direct reflection of the relation you have to yourself. So listening to oneself covers both, in a way. You cannot be a good listener to others if you’re deaf to yourself, and you will probably be a good listener to others if you listen to yourself.

[UnbornTao]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no such limitation to understanding.

Listening does not precede understanding. Understanding is an intention. The intention to understand precedes all things if it is put into place. It is not enough to listen, you have to want to understand.

Understanding is not limited to conceptual. Anything you can listen to you can understand.

And, understanding does not need to assume anything. If you understood a thing, then you understood it. Nothing has been missed. If something has been missed then you haven't fully understood it.

Listening is just a means to an end. The end is understanding. You are listening to hopefully understand something.

There are many degrees of understanding.

Understanding goes far beyond listening because whatever you are listening to may not tell you everything you need to understand what's really going on. If all you do is listen, your understanding will be quite limited because rarely is a situation fully articulated and words and people often mislead or don't themselves know what they are trying to say.

Listening is actually aimed at having another's experience as it is for them. This means it is by definition not about you. If, after the ritual has been performed, there isn't a shift in how you experience reality, even if just a little, listening hasn't occurred. We might say that it requires a willingness to step out of one's world, to put it metaphorically. Not-knowing is the base of this act.

What's funny is that the quote is precisely describing the very process taking place here: listening for answers, for validation, for information, to confirm what's already believed, to reject or accept, as a form of intellectual understanding, etc. This is different from the act being alluded to in the quote.

The quote is from a talk in 1966. He'd been teaching for almost four decades by that point. I'm just saying - maybe he had something to say that we have a hard time coming to grips with. Not that listening is mysterious or inaccessible; it just doesn't seem to be common in this context.

The only one who seems to have understood the assignment is @Davino, if his word is to be trusted. Notice everything that's come up for us as we stumble along the topic - our minds immediately bringing up "what we know" and inserting it into the conversation, and the difficulty of creating some space around the topic, even if only for a few days.

[UnbornTao]

14 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

There's nothing to reflect on, no exercises to do; understanding is direct, unfiltered. It's what happens when there are no barriers and your mind grasps without being filtered by any projection or learned formula.

Understanding is, for example, talking to someone and grasping their inner reality and the underlying intention of their discourse. It's seeing the dynamic structures of the processes that occur, without projecting your self onto them. The self, or rather, the need to maintain a self-image, is the great obstacle to understanding, since it filters everything through that need and corrupts true comprehension. It turns you into what they call an idiot, which isn't uncommon.

It's an inquiry that you can take up.

[UnbornTao]

14 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I do not think there is such a thing as neutral listening.

We each bring our own context (bias) to any listening activity.

Some of this nuance in skill comes down to unconscious contextual listening vs aware contextual listening. I find when I am aware of my own loaded listening patterns (bias), context (or bias) becomes part of awareness instead of secretly steering interpretation. The average person who listens doesn't ever just receive meaning or understanding, it is co-created.

It probably doesn't help words do not carry inherent meaning in isolation.

There is the possibility of two people creating the same experience as a result of interacting with each other in this way. It just isn't rational. This is what K is talking about in his quote.

Edited February 24 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

12 hours ago, Ramasta9 said:

Listening and Feeling for me are very similar. 

There does seem to be a connection between those, definitely.

It's called an art, after all.

[UnbornTao]

11 hours ago, cetus said:

Timely topic. This afternoon I was talking to a friend on the phone about spirituality and he's all about reading the bible. So, whenever I would talk, he would get ahead of what I was saying and not really listen and even talking over me with his preconceived ideas. On the other hand, when he was talking, I would be silent and listen to what he was saying. But here's the funny part. When I would just listen and not say a word, he would have to pause and ask, "Are you still there??" And I'd say, "Yes, I'm still here.  I'm listening to what you're saying". 

What is the rule of thumb for a conversation? 70% listening and 30% talking. That wasn't the case here.

And what's really going on beyond the surface for you? What do you "do" with "it"? Performing a ritual isn't necessarily the same as listening. It goes beyond hearing the words coming from their mouth, and even understanding them - once again. 

Edited February 24 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

1 hour ago, Sincerity said:

Well, listening to another is of second importance to listening to Yourself. At least for the purpose of introspection into the fundamental. The answers are within.

I get that in a sense listening to another is absorption and yeah, you become more of what you listen to. So genuine listening to quality or some „enlightened masters” is a good idea. Still, the developing of the flower of You through careful attention is of greater importance.

And besides, the relation you have to others is a direct reflection of the relation you have to yourself. So listening to oneself covers both, in a way. You cannot be a good listener to others if you’re deaf to yourself, and you will probably be a good listener to others if you listen to yourself.

The point is that you already "listen" to yourself. There's no one else you "listen" to except yourself, since your experience of reality is all that you have. I'm not saying this as a fantasy of spiritualism. The possibility being presented here is hearing something different from the way it is for you now. Otherwise, it could be regarded as metaphorical listening, introspection, or noticing - perhaps. However, this matter is within the context of communication. Communication requires two people. (I can see how your mind might react with its so-called knowledge in response to that). Since this topic is about listening, you have to get out of the way.

Edited February 24 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

[gettoefl]

Yes JK is explaining the whole of spirituality in one quote, the pause is the entire practice,

Our problem is we walk around thinking, i know.

No I don't. I have to suspend the thought, I know, in order to have reality revealed. 

The only way to know reality right now is to first drop the thought I already know.

ACIM calls it the holy instant; I forgive myself right now for thinking I know what this means.

I repeat that it's the whole of spirituality. 

It is how truth is allowed to enter; I simply stop blocking it with all the crap in my head.

Note that I say allow. I do nothing. I make no effort. Truth is all there is. Me is what impedes.

Edited February 24 by gettoefl

[UnbornTao]

9 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

Yes JK is explaining the whole of spirituality in one quote, the pause is the entire practice,

Our problem is we walk around thinking, i know.

No I don't. I have to suspend the thought, I know, in order to have reality revealed. 

The only way to know reality right now is to first drop the thought I already know.

ACIM calls it the holy instant; I forgive myself right now for thinking I know what this means.

I repeat that it's the whole of spirituality. 

It is how truth is allowed to enter; I simply stop blocking it with all the crap in my head.

Note that I say allow. I do nothing. I make no effort. Truth is all there is. Me is what impedes.

Sounds good.

[gettoefl]

3 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Sounds good.

The only prerequisite is willingness. I am willing to give it my all by setting to one side all of me.

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

The point is that you already "listen" to yourself.

I disagree completely. Hardly anyone does.

We can agree to disagree. Let’s keep it at that.

[UnbornTao]

2 hours ago, Sincerity said:

I disagree completely. Hardly anyone does.

We can agree to disagree. Let’s keep it at that.

The only thing you have is your experience. Listening requires a shift in how you experience reality, such that you grasp another's experience rather than your own - and from their point of view, not yours. "Listening" to yourself leaves you alone with your viewpoint - perhaps clarifying it or something like that. It's still about you.

Edited February 24 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

2 hours ago, gettoefl said:

The only prerequisite is willingness. I am willing to give it my all by setting to one side all of me.

Exactly, it's an essential component.

[Moutushi]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I don't have a cure for Christianity.

@Leo Gura

 I thought this would be relevant to what you mentioned before about him. His self-awareness may be improving lol    

This may very well be the first Truth, out of the other Truth social posts that were made 

 

Edited February 24 by Moutushi

[JoshB]

On 2/21/2026 at 0:03 PM, UnbornTao said:

It's your job to have it - whatever it turns out to be.

For one week, contemplate what listening is and what it requires.

Try to set aside your own baggage - especially what you think you already 'know' - and question what this act really is.

Other related questions:

• What is the act of paying attention?
• Why am I listening (hearing or reading) to this communication - or manipulation?
• What am I trying to get out of it?
• How can I step out of my own intellectual world so that I can better hear?
• Where is this person coming from, and what is their experience?

Or simply: What is actually going on in the other person's experience?

Ive asked people what silence is before and I let out a giggle every time they let out an audible answer. 

Edited February 24 by JoshB

[theleelajoker]

18 minutes ago, JoshB said:

Ive asked people what silence is before and I let out a giggle every time they let out an audible answer. 

Ahahhahaha love that one. I'm gonna use that hehe 😏

[UnbornTao]

"To see everything as it is is quite an art. It is as difficult to see things as they are as it is to learn mathematics, history or geography. There is beauty in seeing. Seeing is action. If you see, if you observe, if you listen, you cannot help but act. But most of us are blind and deaf, so we do not act."

— Krishnamurti.

Edited February 25 by UnbornTao

[UnbornTao]

For example: Do you think this topic is the lamest, most basic shit there is? 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, UnbornTao said:

For example: Do you think this topic is the lamest, most basic shit there is? 

Why would it be? Effective listening leads to understanding which dissolves the (illusory) barriers between us. It is behind unity and oneness. I think it dovetails nicely. Most bullshit is a result of misunderstanding. It is a co-creative process in my view.

Just how I think about it. 99% of my job is about listening, understanding and re-affirming what has been meant/created/communicated. I am very very emotionally  removed when at work to facilitate this (and I try to remove my bias and unnecessary thinking). Much to the chagrin of those who view women from a certain lens! (an example of being aware of my own context, and that people expect warmth from women as a default)

The last 1% is ordering and designing stuff to be built