I have a child

[JJfromSwitzerland]

I became a father almost two years ago because the contraception didn't work. 

I've known that woman for a short time and then the pregnancy happened.

She is from a different continent.

My life has completely changed since my daughter is here.

Ask me anything!

[Butters]

Congratulations. 

How has your life changed? How do you do the travel? Did your kid get your Swiss passport or where are you raising your kid? 

[JJfromSwitzerland]

@Butters thanks!

 

25 minutes ago, Butters said:

Congratulations. 

How has your life changed? How do you do the travel? Did your kid get your Swiss passport or where are you raising your kid? 

Everything has changed. I moved back to Switzerland for a better future for the child. I don't travel at the moment (I used to travel a lot), I convinced the mother to move to Switzerland with the child. I work full time so I can take care of the family and when I get home after work, I help around the house and change nappies, put the little one to bed etc. so the mother has a break or can do her German classes. Before that, I used to go to the gym after work or met friends etc. Yes, I was able to get a Swiss passport for my kid. It was lots of admin and required a lot of patience, perseverance (because in the country that the mother is from, things don't work as smoothly as in Switzerland) but we managed.
Financially it's challenging but I have more hope here in Switzerland for the financial future.

[Leo Gura]

Sounds like you're doing the responsible thing so this should grow you a lot.

Welcome to maturity.

[JJfromSwitzerland]

26 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Sounds like you're doing the responsible thing so this should grow you a lot.

Welcome to maturity.

thank you! it definitely has changed everything. also the relationship with me and the mother remains challenging but we work on it with a therapist

[How to be wise]

@JJfromSwitzerland I'm guessing she is from Thailand... 

[JJfromSwitzerland]

@How to be wise no, not from Asia

Edited Wednesday at 02:42 PM by JJfromSwitzerland

[CARDOZZO]

Great. 

Do you live in Switzerland? 

[JJfromSwitzerland]

8 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

Great. 

Do you live in Switzerland? 

yes, I am from Switzerland, lived in Cape Town for 3.5 years and now back in Switzerland trying to build a life for my little family as I lost all my money in a business investment that fail

[CARDOZZO]

1 hour ago, JJfromSwitzerland said:

yes, I am from Switzerland, lived in Cape Town for 3.5 years and now back in Switzerland trying to build a life for my little family as I lost all my money in a business investment that fail

Really?

Switzerland looks like a dream.

Make a thread about your new life situation, past, life lessons.

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, JJfromSwitzerland said:

She is from a different continent.

Which continent is she from? 

[meta_male]

@JJfromSwitzerland Welcome back ir Schwiz! What are you planning to do work-wise?

[Butters]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

Which continent is she from? 

He already said South Africa I believe.  

My question (only if you want to answer of course): is the tension in your relationship caused by cultural differences you think? 

[Butters]

6 hours ago, How to be wise said:

@JJfromSwitzerland I'm guessing she is from Thailand... 

Why does it have to be Thailand? But yeah my first intuition also said Asia. Saw a documentary once about kids in the Philippines growing up with a single mom and no dad cause the guy just went back to Europe and didn't take responsibility. So op is doing a much better job. 

[How to be wise]

2 hours ago, Butters said:

Why does it have to be Thailand? But yeah my first intuition also said Asia. Saw a documentary once about kids in the Philippines growing up with a single mom and no dad cause the guy just went back to Europe and didn't take responsibility. So op is doing a much better job. 

Yeah, I watched that documentary as well. I am pretty sure the man in that documentary was from Switzerland, so it's a common pattern. 

[JJfromSwitzerland]

14 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Really?

Switzerland looks like a dream.

Make a thread about your new life situation, past, life lessons.

Yeah Switzerland is a country that works quite well, hence I wanted to move them here. However, only I work, the mother of my child is not allowed to work here yet due to her visa. We are getting married tho and this should change. 
So since only I work and I have to feet 3 mouths, it's financially challenging, even in Switzerland as Switzerland is one of the most expensive countries in the world.

My new life is completely focused on my new family now, it's not about me anymore. Before, I was travelling, saving money, going out, working out (gym and ran marathons). Now there is barely time for any of that but having a child is the greatest love I ever experienced so it's not all bad. I am gaining weight too as there is not much time to work out, however I have to learn to take care of my diet better.

What also switched is the ego centric thinking. Before I was just thinking what is best for me, what makes me happy, how do I succeed etc. I now for example see like these social media posts etc. where people take themselves and their problems or their life so seriously and I'm thinking to myself, would you have to take care of someone else or other ppl, you wouldn't see yourself as that important. For example they post their workouts or their trips for likes and followers or here about their silly little pick up stuff and talk about their little problems as they would be the center of it all (maybe they are lol because you know we are god) but I mean it in a relative sense.

The biggest life lesson I got from this is: No matter how well you plan everything in your life, be prepared for the unexpected at any times and then adjust to it!

[JJfromSwitzerland]

10 hours ago, Butters said:

He already said South Africa I believe.  

My question (only if you want to answer of course): is the tension in your relationship caused by cultural differences you think? 

Cultural differences play a huge role in our conflicts yes but also our characters or the way we handle things play a role. I am still in love with the mother and I try to work it out with her. Love alone is not enough so the bigger motivator is my little daughter.

[JJfromSwitzerland]

12 hours ago, meta_male said:

@JJfromSwitzerland Welcome back ir Schwiz! What are you planning to do work-wise?

Thank you, I am in the travel/tourism sector/business and work at a small company. I'm pretty happy currently with my job.

[JJfromSwitzerland]

10 hours ago, How to be wise said:

Yeah, I watched that documentary as well. I am pretty sure the man in that documentary was from Switzerland, so it's a common pattern. 

so let me get that clear: you watched a documentary and believe the guy in that documentary is from Switzerland and now you assume I'm a sex tourist in Thailand? It's like saying I heard British ppl are colonizers so you were owning slaves cause you live in London.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

40 minutes ago, JJfromSwitzerland said:

so let me get that clear: you watched a documentary and believe the guy in that documentary is from Switzerland and now you assume I'm a sex tourist in Thailand? It's like saying I heard British ppl are colonizers so you were owning slaves cause you live in London.

I'm glad you called this because there are some WILD assumptions being made about your situation.