Why is Authenticity so magnetic?

[theleelajoker]

On 12/25/2025 at 5:59 PM, UnbornTao said:

Even though that sounds like a reasonable take in principle, it is also precisely that which I'm challenging as authentic. There seem to be layers to authenticity.

For example, are you aware of what a reaction you might be having is actually based on? 

 

I don't understand what you are asking (bold)

[UnbornTao]

1 hour ago, theleelajoker said:

I don't understand what you are asking (bold)

Essentially: Can one be authentic without knowing the truth? Can you be authentic in an emotional expression, for example, when you're not aware of its source - of what the emotion is based on? I'm just using emotion as an example.

[theleelajoker]

49 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Essentially: Can one be authentic without knowing the truth? Can you be authentic in an emotional expression, for example, when you're not aware of its source - of what the emotion is based on? I'm just using emotion as an example.

Ok. The way I see - no you can't.

Example:

I am disappointed that I did not get/achieve/know XZY. But I am not aware of it.  Then Person X asks me: Are you disappointed? And I say "no".  Sometimes I truly don't know "the truth", here meaning disappointment. It's authentic for me to say "no", because I am not aware of my disappointment manifesting in my organism.  But other times, I have a feeling but I ignore it. Sometimes I feel "something is not right" but I still continue. Because I am lacking presence. 

Thin line IME. And a lot is attitude, it's authentic for me to look for truth even if I don't know it now. The answer would then be: "Hm..don't know. How can I know if I am disappointed or not"?

[inFlow]

@caspex For me authenticity is freedom. Freedom to be what you want to be, freedom to speak what you want to speak, freedom to dress the way you want, freedom from conformity and other people opinions.

If you notice this freedom you can notice when you aren't living from freedom, the psyche colapses and you feel bad instantly. What you really want is freedom!

[UnbornTao]

7 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Ok. The way I see - no you can't.

Example:

I am disappointed that I did not get/achieve/know XZY. But I am not aware of it.  Then Person X asks me: Are you disappointed? And I say "no".  Sometimes I truly don't know "the truth", here meaning disappointment. It's authentic for me to say "no", because I am not aware of my disappointment manifesting in my organism.  But other times, I have a feeling but I ignore it. Sometimes I feel "something is not right" but I still continue. Because I am lacking presence. 

Thin line IME. And a lot is attitude, it's authentic for me to look for truth even if I don't know it now. The answer would then be: "Hm..don't know. How can I know if I am disappointed or not"?

I like the way you put it. To add a bit to it, it might turn out that, more often than not, the truth is unknown, and so, in order to be authentic, an opening or a search has to occur - if becoming increasingly real with yourself is the goal.

In your example, are you disappointed or not? If you are, but you express something that's inconsistent with your internal state, we might call that being inauthentic - with oneself and/or with others. Even in that example, is that the whole story? If you were to look into the disappointment, you might find deeper doorways to authenticity by uncovering what's behind it. If you discover that there's a sense of hurt behind the disappointment, then being authentic would require experiencing the hurt rather than the disappointment.

And maybe, at some point, you find that the pain isn't true in itself, but something that's activity-generated. But this is speculation - we'll find whatever we find.

[Ulax]

I disagree that it is magnetic. I think sometimes it is and sometimes it is not.

In many dysfunctional families, being authentic will get you punished, and can bring upon abuse. For example, expressing anger towards a tyrannical father, or being open about being gay in high school.

But in more mature communities, authenticity is more welcomed and doesn't get punished so much. For example, AA meeting.

[Miguel1]

If I was fully authentic in my life, I would have to live in a cave.

That being said, I am able to be emotionally more authentic than most people due to not being a conformist sheep, and due to my deep inner work and connection to Truth.

This makes me attractive because I am grounded in my reality, calm, collected, confident and don’t take people’s shit almost at all. Yet I am empathetic because I have love for other beings.

This makes me a leader. And people love to follow a strong caring leader.

Edited 7 hours ago by Miguel1

[theleelajoker]

2 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

I like the way you put it. To add a bit to it, it might turn out that, more often than not, the truth is unknown, and so, in order to be authentic, an opening or a search has to occur - if becoming increasingly real with yourself is the goal.

In your example, are you disappointed or not? If you are, but you express something that's inconsistent with your internal state, we might call that being inauthentic - with oneself and/or with others. Even in that example, is that the whole story? If you were to look into the disappointment, you might find deeper doorways to authenticity by uncovering what's behind it. If you discover that there's a sense of hurt behind the disappointment, then being authentic would require experiencing the hurt rather than the disappointment.

And maybe, at some point, you find that the pain isn't true in itself, but something that's activity-generated. But this is speculation - we'll find whatever we find.

Disappointment is just a word. There would likely be something somatic, a tension. You could call it hurt. 

It's self-created IMO, what you call activity generated (that's what I think you're saying). It's learned behavior - reality is not what I want it to be because of thoughts that led to expectation. This causes "disappointment", which causes me to tense up because I don't like this deviation from my expected reality and I don't want to experience it. 

It my example above my hypothesis is that it could be dissolved by a) dropping the thoughts that created that expectation and b) feeling the tensions, putting awareness to it. Long enough and focused enough it should dissolve more or less automatically. 

[Joseph Maynor]

It's uniquely you.  Nobody can do you like you.