I struggle so much with the pursuit of sexual pleasure and validation.

[Zenterus]

Some people get horny and they just rub one out and move on with their day.

That doesn't come as easily to me.

I've been in pickup for almost 10 years. During that time, I used to practise nofap, eating foods that were natural aphrodisiacs, swore off porn (on and off) and had a habit of actually having sex whenever I was horny.

I've come to realize that that lifestyle is no longer serving my higher self.

I'm currently talking to this one girl who I see great potential with long term and I really want to straighten myself out before I find myself in a relationship.

Today, I spent like 3 hours edging because NoFap conditioned me to retain as much of my sexual energy within my body for as long as possible. If I were to relieve myself sexually, it would feel like failure. Yet, If I don't, then I can't get shit done, since I'm extremely horny and I will be tempted to go out to the club and try to pull a girl.

Now, is going out and pulling bad necessarily? No, not really but I hate feeling like a slave to it. I hate feeling like going to the club is something that I'm doing with an agenda behind it rather than something that I'm enjoying deeply with the potential of meeting a woman and hitting it off being a bonus

I don't mind integrating pickup and sex and women into my life. But I'd rather it be a natural byproduct of who I am as a person rather than something that I'm focusing on or go out of my way to pursue.

I've seen glimpses of that in my life, but then I have days like this one, where I'm completely enslaved by it and I don't know if I'm just fighting a losing battle against my own nature.

There is no question. I know the path I must follow. But I really needed to vent all the above to whoever is out there willing to listen.

Thank you.

 

[Zenterus]

My buddy just texted me: "Wanna do some game tonight?" 

I'll update you tomorrow.

[LordFall]

Going out to pull is mostly a waste of time. If you picture your dream lifestyle is slightly better charisma what's gonna get you there? I spent most of my 20s cold approaching regularly and I'm glad I got that skillset but social media and social circle game are making all the difference now. 

[Hojo]

Seems like you turned no fap into a religion. That comes with the same shame religion gives you.

Edited 4 hours ago by Hojo

[Ramasta9]

Yes this is what happens to many people, they are unconsciously "suppressing" sexual energy and thinking they are becoming more strong and spiritual, the issue is that energy is not being used and channeled out properly and creatively so it becomes stagnant and leads to mental and emotional and even physical disorders over time. You can't try to be celibate and be a master overnight, this no-fap has to come naturally.

There are phases in my life where I have a lot of sex, there are phases when I have none at all. It all depends.

You have to learn to be in-tune with your NATURAL SELF.

Not what others are doing or saying.

[Leo Gura]

Key insight: no-fap is stupid and wrong.

Women will never give you enough sex to satisfy you.

No-fap is conformity. Duh.

Jerk off and be happy. Simple.

Edited 2 hours ago by Leo Gura

[CARDOZZO]

I was suffering because of this. I am fairly attractive, height. body and overall appearence.

This is a blessing and a curse. I was thinking: How much is enough? How much am I willing to milk these privileges?

I was feeling pickup as an obligation and/or a refusal to give up erotic capital: "YOU HAVE ALL THIS, YOU SHOULD MILK IT, GO OUT AND MAKE SEX WITH 23909320233 WOMAN." 

It is not easy to abandon power. It is like an addiction. 

I'm on a different trajectory right now, focused on self-love, consciousness, non-duality, finding a woman that I really like/admire.

Edited 2 hours ago by CARDOZZO