I struggle so much with the pursuit of sexual pleasure and validation.

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You are a pervert if you reduce the desire to pursue relationship to just sex

Well ditto. I'm NOT gonna date a sex doll I'm gonna date a real human so obviously I'm not gonna be having sex nonstop and kicking her out of my bedroom after im done . If what I said implied this then sure that's either not what I meant or its wrong. 

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If jerking off rids you of all desire of relationship then you should not be in relationship to begin with.

It is not just "jerking off ". Its more complex than that . How much jerking off and what of kind of garbage you are wanking to ..also OP is one of those guys who has orgasm phobia and he hasn't yet surpassed this phase .

Edited 18 hours ago by Someone here

[How to be wise]

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You reduced pickup to a desire for sex. This is wrong. There are much deeper reasons to do pickup.

I’m pretty sure that most pickup artists are doing it only for sex 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, How to be wise said:

I’m pretty sure that most pickup artists are doing it only for sex 

Those are the perverts.

[How to be wise]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Those are the perverts.

How about somebody who made a video series called How to get laid? 

[Leo Gura]

38 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

How about somebody who made a video series called How to get laid? 

That series is about personal growth, not getting laid.

"Getting laid" is just bait to lure in the fools.

Edited 12 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Ulax]

10 hours ago, Butters said:

Depends on who you jerk off

 

Hahahaha

[Leo Gura]

Oh! Have you guys been jerking off the wrong guy this whole time?

That would explain this whole no-fap movement.

[Zenterus]

8 hours ago, Someone here said:

 ..also OP is one of those guys who has orgasm phobia and he hasn't yet surpassed this phase .

Uh.. no i dont. I masturbate once a week.

Crazy how this discussion devolved into a discussion about NoFap when the reasons behind my masturbational withholding is due to pickup programming. 🤦🏾‍♂️

[lostingenosmaze]

13 hours ago, Butters said:

Depends on who you jerk off

Doing a sort of pseudo-Nofap by jerking off a man to satisfy your (bottom) sexuals urges without releasing it yourself? Genius, the best of both worlds! 👉🧠

[koops]

On 13/12/2025 at 8:42 PM, Zenterus said:

Some people get horny and they just rub one out and move on with their day.

That doesn't come as easily to me.

Yeah, some people see sex as something to 'get', not really to enjoy and to light up someone’s face. If you really are good at pickup and sex, and women love you, its tough to give it up.

 

A good strategy is to have a a few fuck-buddies and meet 1-2 times per week max.

You get the best, without all the chasing and time wasting.

 

Now, if you really want to grow, you have to give that up.

I did that a couple years ago when I went deep with actualized.org and get great results!

But I regressed. I blamed myself for falling back, but I realize that is part of the game. There is no linear growth.

If you are attractive and have game (and you feel validation for pulling chicks) is worse.

 

Have you ever noticed?
All spiritual gurus are ugly and introverted.

The temptation for them is lower. If you cant get girls or if you have to work super hard for them, its easier to go in the spiritual path.

Thats why you don’t see chad yoguis.
 

If you are in your 20s/30s and you can open an app and get quick dates and lays… it takes willpower and a big deep vision for yourself. Its not easy.

Wage slavery and pussy addiction are the 2 biggest problems in this path.

 

 

My best guess is:

Give it up for 3-6 months and tell yourself that you will come back to game after that period of growth.

By that time the desire for women will melt, not all, but a bit. In that intermittent way you can let it go. Little by little.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

2 hours ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Doing a sort of pseudo-Nofap by jerking off a man to satisfy your (bottom) sexuals urges without releasing it yourself? Genius, the best of both worlds! 👉🧠

Alas, seems like you're an experienced fella and know what you're talking about

[Ishanga]

@Zenterus I would say the basic is this, Your stuck in Your lower center areas, energy wise that is, centers that are related solely with Survival instinct, procreation and things of this nature, as well Your hormones are leading You in that direction of where Your thoughts are centered..

Start some sort of Breath work, calm Your system down, observe a space btwn what is You and not You, gain some perspective..

When it comes to urges, release them, don't resist it, but replace the urges with more empowering feelings and experiences, once Your energies rise up to higher levels then you naturally feel more peaceful and blissful, this will replace the feelings to find sexual satisfaction/validation, its a process that takes some time and dedication/focus, but try it out slowly...

[Someone here]

3 hours ago, Zenterus said:

. I masturbate once a week.

Why do you masturbate once a week dude ? Go talk to real girls. Grow up.

[Zenterus]

22 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Why do you masturbate once a week dude ? Go talk to real girls. Grow up.

Im sorry for taking your comments seriously. You're clearly mentally challenged in some way. Wish you all the best!

[Someone here]

16 minutes ago, Zenterus said:

Sorry for taking your comments seriously

@Zenterus 

[Butters]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You are a pervert

For context: all guys are perverts. Step 1 is admitting you're a pervert. Yes you can go beyond the most beastly desires at a later age or by doing consciousness work, but it's important to realize every guy and most girls are pervs so it doesn't seem 'weird' or outcast. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Butters