Exhausted from only dating low-consciousness women

[Monke]

@aurum

24 minutes ago, aurum said:

Yup, you got it.

Being in your frame is the core of her femininity.

Then you lead her where you envision the relationship going.

Okay gotcha yeah this is super cool. I think I've neglected the importance of masculine leadership on the first few dates. 

In hindsight I've probably had more opportunities than I think to create the sort of dynamic I want but I've been a bit too passive and made assumptions about her instead of leading and seeing if she wants to follow. I've been missing the initiative component. 

this was definitely the blind spot here. thanks

[Schizophonia]

16 minutes ago, Monke said:

@Schizophonia

I mean yeah definitely possible. I suspect I'm late stage green/early yellowish but could always be wrong. A lot of women I've dated appear to be heavily orange. 

I'm reusing your language elements eheh but I don't like the SD system. I think you mean you don't like that your female mirrors are too interested in random things/have weak personalities, rather than reflecting an idealized self. I'm saying that if you, and Hojo for that matter, keep coming across girls like that it's because they're just mirroring who you really are. So maybe scrolling on TikTok isn't great for your brain, maybe you don't have to be an ideal neither, maybe it's even subconsciously the ideal that's blocking you, but ultimately it's all about you, fundamentally.

Edited 8 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

If you are scientific you will meet  scientific women.

If you never meet scientific women you’re probably far from being a scientific yourself lol.

[Leo Gura]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

scientific women

You mean men? 

Haha

[aurum]

22 minutes ago, Monke said:

@aurum

Okay gotcha yeah this is super cool. I think I've neglected the importance of masculine leadership on the first few dates. 

In hindsight I've probably had more opportunities than I think to create the sort of dynamic I want but I've been a bit too passive and made assumptions about her instead of leading and seeing if she wants to follow. I've been missing the initiative component. 

this was definitely the blind spot here. thanks

Good work.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Monke Reading through this back and forth I think a big issue for you is not meeting women of your maturity level (as well as low consciousness women). Anyway I'll step out - I don't have too much useful info or steps to take. 

As long as you put yourself into situations that increase probabilities for desired outcome, you won't be robbing yourself of the possibility of a banger of a high consciousness lady  

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlozJLMY9ZU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOjtxemK4Hs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn6c9ZMPZVI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAz_-ffRT5w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXB80VEaRQQ

 

Edited 7 hours ago by Raze

[Sugarcoat]

8 hours ago, Monke said:

I guess I haven't really explored "initiating" more depth-oriented conversation with the women I date. I've honestly avoided that because I've assumed that if she's obsessed with tiktok/influencer drama she probably won't be interested in my attempts to connect on deeper level. But people are different. I guess its a balance between reading the room and not making unfair assumptions about people lol. 

I can only speak for myself but id say I have a relatively deep mind and I enjoy deep convo but I am currently hooked on certain addictions like social media. It does affect my mind ofc, I could probably be even more interesting if I unhooked from those things (I’m working on it) but it’s possible for them to co exist

So I think it’s worth to be the one to lead convos where you want them to go, in a way that feels fitting, because you might reveal things about the person you didn’t expect…

8 hours ago, Monke said:

@Sugarcoat  

 Also I agree that it's important to be able to discuss this sort of thing as long as it's free of judgement. I think people get really wrapped up in wanting to feel superior to others or more  "advanced" or some crap. 

But it's also a trap to ignore the fact that committing to this sort of personal dev stuff will make you super unrelatable to significant percentage of people. 

 

I definitely agree. 

8 hours ago, Monke said:

@SugarcoatI wish this forum/Leo talked about this topic more often. Meeting your needs for connection and community becomes significantly more difficult as you grow and develop yourself. Sometimes shockingly so. 

Yes. You both have the factor of just having to expose yourself to enough people in the right places to increase the chance of finding someone that matches you, and also importantly expressing yourself authentically so people have opportunity to connect with you authentically, if you play that down you can form shallow connections instead …

[AION]

If you expect your gf to be a philosopher you will only get suffering. Just limit your expectations to the romantic sphere. 

[Miguel1]

Welcome to my life brother.

[Miguel1]

10 hours ago, aurum said:

Don't look for women who are deeply into spirituality or personal development. Look for women who are wanting to be in your frame.

I can understand this, from the perspective of lower consciousness attraction.

But at a higher level, I am not looking for a girl to just fall in my frame and follow me blindly. This is not very fulfilling, and it is very empty. Girls follow any asshole scum blindly, as long as they are delusionally over-confident, which they are.

I need her to have her own sovereignity. I want our top values to match and for us to be compatible, and that means that she would be more mature and higher conscious.

@Natasha Tori Maru is correct here. I don’t think you should step out at all.

Frankly, I want to push this conversation. Yes, most men here just need the basics handled and so pickup advices, and getting her to fall in your frame etc. are important - but then there are a few of us here who has lived through the damn sex addiction phase, and actually are looking for something more conscious and fulfilling.

Once in a while there is a member bringing this topic up and it gets shot down by the gravity of the forum’s dating maturity level.

As an extrovert who thrives around people and crave deep social intimacy, having only unconscious animals around me is truly hell. It would be so much easier to be deep into consciousness work and to be an introvert.

I am constantly struggling with the fact that I don’t have conscious and mature people around me, except people in this forum. But it will never be the same.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You mean men? 

Haha

😂🤣

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

But at a higher level, I am not looking for a girl to just fall in my frame and follow me blindly. This is not very fulfilling, and it is very empty.

1) Stepping into your frame does not mean following you blindly

2) You can lead the relationship to higher things that feel more fulfilling

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

Girls follow any asshole scum blindly, as long as they are delusionally over-confident, which they are.

That's true. Frame control and leadership is values-neutral.

You can lead people to heaven or hell. But you still need leadership.

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

I need her to have her own sovereignity.

That's not incompatible with her being in your frame.

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

I want our top values to match and for us to be compatible, and that means that she would be more mature and higher conscious.

Compatibility is her being willing to enter your frame. Compatibility is not about being identical or “equals”.

She doesn’t need to already value what you value. And if there’s something you genuinely want her to value, you can lead her there, but only if she’s in your frame.

Matching values or high consciousness won’t save a relationship where she cannot relax into your direction.

 

 

Edited 37 minutes ago by aurum