The feminine life purpose

[Judy2]

Hey there:)

A few weeks ago, a video about the heroine's journey was flushed into my YouTube feed. It referenced a quote by Joseph Campbell in its introduction: 

“Women don’t need to make the journey. In the whole mythological tradition, the woman is there. All she has to do is realize that she’s the place that people are trying to get to.”

 

Personally, I feel as though "the woman is there - period." is a bit scarce. Not saying this to make any sort of feminist statement. I'm mostly just seeing this in the context of my own life experience, because every time I have been too self-absorbed in my "ornamental" function as a woman, my subjectivity wasn't really in sync. Nonetheless, I feel as though the quote touches on some of the questions I have been having about how to reconcile the intersection between femininity vs. masculinity and more general notions of adulting, self-development, and maturing in life. 

Coming at this from the other angle, a friend recently told me that finding a life purpose would resolve many of my emotional issues. It is true that I am complacent and irresolute in life. I don’t feel very “autonomous,” I don’t want to start a business, become an entrepreneur, be self-employed, or anything like that. I’m not a huge "gambler" in life. I don’t want my life to be a constant hustle. I value security and thrive in environments where external structure is provided and I am given clear instructions as to what I should do. For example, I was doing well when I was still in school, I loved doing homework and that kind of stuff. And as a young adult, the most challenging aspect has been knowing what i should even do with myself. 

I wonder if it is okay to double down on this personality trait, rather than telling myself to get rid of it. Is it possible to build a more functional, mature, "adult" lifestyle around this need for containment? Is it possible to somehow reconcile the need for security and "being told what to do" with not just blindly mimicking the sociocultural status quo and being a people pleaser? If so, how? 

Not sure if this fully articulates my confusion, and I'm aware that I'm probably not asking the right group of people about this issue here. But I'd be curious to hear your thoughts anyway. 

Edited 19 hours ago by Judy2

[aurum]

@Judy2 I think you're not dysfunctional at all.

I think you're sensing your femininity, but you haven't fully embraced it yet.

In my experience, femininity doesn't truly unlock until it meets proper masculine containment. That's when it really comes alive.

[Judy2]

@aurumthank you, that makes sense:) what would you advise me to do until i find that? is there anything i can change in my attitude toward life to make it feel more organic and harmonious?

[Leo Gura]

@Judy2 Read the book: Women Who Run With Wolves. It is like Joseph Campbell but for the feminine.

Joseph Campbell was from a prior generation so his views are somewhat outdated and sexist.

Edited 18 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Judy2]

@Leo Gura ok:)

[aurum]

26 minutes ago, Judy2 said:

@aurumthank you, that makes sense:) what would you advise me to do until i find that? is there anything i can change in my attitude toward life to make it feel more organic and harmonious?

Notice what makes you feel open, safe and soft. Follow that.

Femininity doesn't come from control, it blossoms in the surrender of it.

[Salvijus]

Your higher self is alway trying to guide you on your life's path. There are few reasons why some people still feel lost despite of it.

Either they're in resistence to the calling because of they don't like the answer that they are receiving or because they have limiting beliefs such as "I'm not good enough to do that" or "universe will not support me" etc. 

Or there is too much noise in their head and they never allow the time to be with themselves to listen to their deepest desires. Sometimes that happens when an individual has many addictions and is just running on a hamster wheel chasing pleasure without ever turning inward.

And sometimes people are just disconnected from their heart for whatever reason. Lack of awareness is a big one. Or lack of spiritual discipline that would align you constantly with your higher self. Sometimes it's trauma. 

Following your heart is the number one most important and most feminine thing you could ever learn in your life. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Salvijus

[Judy2]

@Salvijus a few months ago, i had a conversation with an online therapist about my heart's desire to be beautiful. she basically said i should just drop it, because it's an overlay for wanting affection etc. i find that a bit confusing because people can technically say that about anything, and eventually, you'll never know if a desire is real vs just for eliciting affection. 

so maybe its more about distinguishing if a desire is motivated by fear and avoidance or love. at least that's the conclusion i've come to. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Judy2

[Salvijus]

@Judy2 beauty is a quality of Truth. By embracing that desire you will get closer to the devine, not further away from it. 

Look at Krishna, he was putting deliberate effort to adorne himself with jewelry, flowers, feathers etc. to look as gorgeous as possible. It's not vanity, it's a desire to be a devine expression of beauty with everything that you got: your words, your actions, your appearance. Be oozing beauty, dear, it's glorious and God is glorious. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Salvijus

[Karla]

love this question. I resonate with the bit about choosing your heart’s desire and a desire to be beautiful!

I didn’t realize how disconnected I was from femininity until after my third bufo trip because it drowned me in the deepest love and appreciation for what is. It was sickeningly loving- like I literally felt sick with love and gratitude. 

Even my own beauty wasn’t apparent before that because we have so many conditioned thoughts about “beauty”, self & the world that are invisible until everything is literally gone except “I amness”.

I could not see how I blocked beauty before that but afterwards so much made sense, even the statement about women being what everyone else desires to be makes sense.

I suggest feeling appreciation for what you already appreciate and love more intensely as a practice. enjoying the beauty you can access more deeply inside your body. Even if it seems weird or impossible at first, it will grow if you can remember to practice it.

We are inherently “safe” forever and held and supported but this is also invisible due to conditioning! I feel that the highest purpose is being fully here/ present without worry and fear. ♥️

[Hojo]

I think feminist trick women into thinking they want more control than they actually want. Thats why feminist are so angry theu don't want the control they seek and don't know how to handle it.

[Judy2]

@Hojoyes that's why i said i don't have any feminist or political agenda here. it's more about my own life experience and the fact that, contrary to popular belief;), women still have a subjectivity of their own to nurture. which is something i have been struggling with and i am seeking guidance to help figure this out:)

 

most of the time i don't know what to do with myself and unfortunately, i'm still stuck with what i oftentimes perceive to be the burden of my own existence. i don't have a lot of people in my life who can tell me what to do or what's good for me, and i find it very frustrating at times that i'm expected to know all of this. like how?

[Hojo]

@Judy2Your dirtiest darkest secret. Whatever you are saying no to but its what you want. If you think of something and your stomach drops thats it.

Edited 13 hours ago by Hojo

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Hojo said:

I think feminist trick women into thinking they want more control than they actually want. 

It’s not trickery, it’s development.

Development involves taking things too far.

[Human Mint]

13 minutes ago, aurum said:

It’s not trickery, it’s development.

I agree, there are feminists that are very mature. Most criticism to feminism is childish resentment.

15 minutes ago, aurum said:

Development involves taking things too far.

I didn't understand what you mean by that.

[aurum]

7 minutes ago, Human Mint said:

I didn't understand what you mean by that.

I mean that when you are genuinely growing, you will adopt certain beliefs and behaviors that genuinely support your development at the time. Only for you burn out and discover the limitations of said beliefs / behaviors later, when you are ready to move on.

Feminists are not “tricking” women. Tricking implies that they know better. They do not.

What’s actually happening is that feminists are at a certain stage of development. And as such, they will advocate for the beliefs and behaviors that support that stage. That’s all. No trickery needed.

Think ignorance, not malice.

[Yimpa]

Avoiding the feminine perspective is a seriously dumb move.

[Human Mint]

4 minutes ago, aurum said:

I mean that when you are genuinely growing, you will adopt certain beliefs and behaviors that genuinely support your development at the time. Only for you burn out and discover the limitations of said beliefs / behaviors later, when you are ready to move on.

Feminists are not “tricking” women. Tricking implies that they know better. They do not.

What’s actually happening is that feminists are at a certain stage of development. And as such, they will advocate for the beliefs and behaviors that support that stage. That’s all. No trickery needed.

Think ignorance, not malice.

Ah yes, very natural. Is normal to exaggerate when you're integrating things.

However there is a contradiction in being more developed and not knowing better. If you're more developed you know better by definition. A lot of feminist groups is pure nonsense, but knowing how to handle sexual harassment is development and knowing better. Feminism is just the natural reaction to sexual harassment, and societies that have feminism consolidated are more developed.

[aurum]

10 minutes ago, Human Mint said:

However there is a contradiction in being more developed and not knowing better. If you're more developed you know better by definition.

There is no contradiction.

Development and “knowing better” is always relative. Feminists have a certain understanding of the world that is more developed than others, but still has room for growth. They still have ignorance.

Edited 9 hours ago by aurum

[Judy2]

btw, it's not like there's one "feminism" and every feminist somehow agrees on all the exact same points. there were different waves.

i'm sure there can be some pretty deluded, ideological, close-minded, and aggressive feminists out there. there can also be feminists who consider the big picture and care about the holistic growth of society that enables men and women to live together in harmony.

maybe it's just a very loaded term and at this point, no one knows anymore what is even meant by "a feminist"... so the whole debate just leads to a lot of misunderstanding in many cases. (maybe?)