Hookup and dating apps now and in 2020?

[merimo28]

A few days ago I was discussing with a friend why it is much harder to find a hookup or date using online apps or sites than just 3-4 years ago.

 

My idea is simple: I am getting older. No matter I good look, have some other preferences and so on. Friend told me to read post about online dating reset.

 

In some moment it makes sense that hookup or date online   is changed in past years: sites and apps works worst than ever. You need to pay various credits and subscriptions, still with minimal chances to meet someone. Also, my impression is that most apps/sites have no goal to find a person for you. I think they just want you to stay as much as they want so you can pay for subscriptions again and again. And swipe left and right at the end of time.

 

So we would close that discussion if he didn't asked me do I see same change in my real life? That was interesting because in real life, in my ages I have better results than ever. Probably it comes with confidence, probably it comes with expirience.

 

I am confused, did hookup and date online culture is changed so chances for males are lower than ever? Or is this just my experience?

 

If you have experiences, opinions, "theories" about this please share...?

[Hojo]

I tried and every app makes you pay for likes to see people who liked you and to talk to people. I'm not paying for that.

My theory is its to break mens mental.

[something_else]

I’m having more success on dating apps than ever.

I’ve used them at three different ages, 17 (was allowed on tinder at the time), 21-22 and now at 25.

At 17 I barely got any attention at all. At 21-22 I got some, but rarely from girls I actually thought were cute. And now at 25 I finally feel like I’ve got it on lock.

The success largely comes from having really cool travel photos from a year of backpacking. I also look a bit better than I used to in terms of style and grooming

Edited November 9 by something_else

[Alexop]

Shit results, few dates with girls that just check the waters and don't know what they want. Maybe I could get better results by fine tuning my profile in an autistic way.

[merimo28]

@something esle: thanks for answer,  do you have some secrets or tips when it comes to profile making, communication and so on?

[LordFall]

@Hojo Why on earth wouldn't you pay for your dating life? Tinder platinum and a boost are like $60 and can get you unlimited dates if you have good pictures. Paying for things you find valuable is a no brainer to me. 

You need paid dating apps unless you're a male model and even then the guys I know that are pretty good looking are also spamming boosts so really there's no reason to not pay for dating apps unless you're broke or somehow make it an ego thing where somehow beautiful women should fall into your life without you having to expand resources to make that happen. 

[Hojo]

@LordFallIts one of the most pathetic things I have ever heard of. Paying for a chance to get a date. You are worth more than that. The apps make you pay to talk to women. You dont need to pay to talk to woman.

Edited 20 hours ago by Hojo

[something_else]

Let's assume you have 6 pics to fill up on Hinge/Bumble (probably the best two dating apps in most places) then a good template for a profile is something like this:

• Pic 1: Professional or high quality photo of yourself with a clear view of your face (this should be the only staged pic, the rest should be natural or it will likely end up look like a LinkedIn profile unless you really know what you're doing)
• Pic 2: Full body shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 3: Group pic where you look confident and sociable
• Pic 4: Another shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 5: Another group shot where you look confident and sociable, ideally with a different group of people
• Pic 6: Cute/funny/hot pic, basically a wildcard photo where you can express some personality, humour, or show off more of your good looks if you have them. If you have a nice body, show it off here but in a non-douchey way e.g. a beach pic

Bio/prompts should be something short and witty, and they should encourage a girl to swipe right or ask you about something. It helps if the bio ties into one of your pics. In my case I have a pic of me holding a giant rat in my profile and my bio is "Yes that's a giant rat I'm holding, it's a cool story and you should ask me about it"

You don't have to follow this template exactly, but it's a solid starting point.

Edited 20 hours ago by something_else

[Schizophonia]

This is the most laborious solution.

It's much easy in "real life".

Work/School/Activities/Social Groups >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Pick Up >> Dating Apps

[Kid A]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Let's assume you have 6 pics to fill up on Hinge/Bumble (probably the best two dating apps in most places) then a good template for a profile is something like this:

• Pic 1: Professional or high quality photo of yourself with a clear view of your face (this should be the only staged pic, the rest should be natural or it will likely end up look like a LinkedIn profile unless you really know what you're doing)
• Pic 2: Full body shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 3: Group pic where you look confident and sociable
• Pic 4: Another shot of you doing something cool or interesting
• Pic 5: Another group shot where you look confident and sociable, ideally with a different group of people
• Pic 6: Cute/funny/hot pic, basically a wildcard photo where you can express some personality, humour, or show off more of your good looks if you have them. If you have a nice body, show it off here but in a non-douchey way e.g. a beach pic

Bio/prompts should be something short and witty, and they should encourage a girl to swipe right or ask you about something. It helps if the bio ties into one of your pics. In my case I have a pic of me holding a giant rat in my profile and my bio is "Yes that's a giant rat I'm holding, it's a cool story and you should ask me about it"

You don't have to follow this template exactly, but it's a solid starting point.

Bullseye!

[Kid A]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

It's much easy in "real life".

Easy for you to say. You're still young. 

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Kid A said:

Easy for you to say. You're still young. 

I didn't say it was necessarily easy, I said that dating sites were even less so.

 

[Kid A]

13 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I didn't say it was necessarily easy, I said that dating sites were even less so.

 

In my experience, online dating is by far the easiest way to get a date, while «real life» is nearly impossible, especially after early twenties. I guess the explanation in my case is a combination of looks, autism and where I live.

[XXXXXX]

2 hours ago, Kid A said:

In my experience, online dating is by far the easiest way to get a date, while «real life» is nearly impossible, especially after early twenties. I guess the explanation in my case is a combination of looks, autism and where I live.

How many approaches have you done irl?

[Lyubov]

This is a highly subjective topic. I haven’t been on a dating app seriously for over a year now (newly married). But they were still ok for me. It depends where you are located. To be honest they have always been shit for most guys and you got to pay to play. I doubt that has changed much. You are better off building an Instagram and just DM girls. 

[Kid A]

15 minutes ago, XXXXXX said:

How many approaches have you done irl?

800-900. What I learned from those approaches is that cold approaching doesn’t really work on «native» Norwegian women, especially not during daytime. All the dates I got from those approaches were with women who were foreigners to some degree. I bet it’s the same in the other Scandinavian countries as well.

Edited 1 hour ago by Kid A