1 in 4 people Will die Single

[MsNobody]

I see more and more people single nowadays (myself included) and would like to brainstorm the reasons and hear other people's opinion on the topic:

One main reason that I can see as a woman is that before we would marry for survival and financial stability, but things have changed and there are many women making more money than men nowadays, before men could offer provision and protection with those needs being met they would have to offer more, like emotional intelligence etc and talking from my experience here ( I've been meeting many cave men lol, in the sense that they do almost no self development work) and I also think that as we got out of survival mode, our priorities independently of sexes have shifted from duty to self actualization, another thing I see is that we are becoming more and more diverse, we are becoming more and more complex, which makes it more difficult for us to be willing to bend and be flexible to commit to a relationship, like a piece of a puzzle (image below) you become so unique and eccentric that you don't really fit anywhere easily, I feel like an alien doing self actualization work cause the the circle of men Im interested in keeps getting smaller and smaller the more I work on myself. 

There is also technology in the mix and the paradox of choice, where we have so many options on dating apps that we don't even want to chose, finding a partner became way too difficult so we dont even bother. 

Another point is the unbalance between masculine and feminine energies, with feminism and "me too" movements men are kind of scared of being manly or approaching women, the pendulum swung to the the extreme and I see lots of my girl friends complaining of men being princesses. 

Lastly there is a huge decrease of religion belifs, less and less people see the sacredness of being in union, being in partnership is seen as a loss of time etc. 

 

[How to be wise]

It's strange to me that people don't feel the need to reproduce. I certainly do, despite having some level of awakening. I still feel the body's urge to reproduce. 

I would have to attribute the single-hood pandemic to the loss of this urge. 

[MsNobody]

@How to be wise oh yes I totally forgot to mention low testosterone!

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, MsNobody said:

 

The only thing I want to be with is the Silly Goose on the wall.

 

[Yimpa]

57 minutes ago, MsNobody said:

@How to be wise oh yes I totally forgot to mention low testosterone!

This is absolutely the best way to be wise.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

What's the point of doing all that "self improvement" if you're going to end up being alone anyway? Sounds like a cope to me. A bit of a delusion as well.

[Lyubov]

It's going to be more than 1/4. Easily half for people born in the 90s onward. Not necessarily a bad thing. 

[Schizophonia]

8 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

It's going to be more than 1/4. Easily half for people born in the 90s onward. Not necessarily a bad thing. 

It's bad to be isolated; even people who claim to be particularly introverted are often actually dysthymic. OP is talking about romantic relationships, but it's the same for friendships; it's easy to find yourself alone, especially with on top of that social medias reflecting your fears back to you, your ego echo chamber in general with abnormal intensity.

Edited 20 hours ago by Schizophonia

[Raze]

Does that number not count widows?

[Leo Gura]

Everyone dies alone.

[Ramasta9]

27 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Everyone dies alone.

And everyone seems to try to escape this ^^

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura Yup even those who are in relationship die alone. We are born alone , we die alone.

[Inliytened1]

5 hours ago, MsNobody said:

I see more and more people single nowadays (myself included) and would like to brainstorm the reasons and hear other people's opinion on the topic:

One main reason that I can see as a woman is that before we would marry for survival and financial stability, but things have changed and there are many women making more money than men nowadays, before men could offer provision and protection with those needs being met they would have to offer more, like emotional intelligence etc and talking from my experience here ( I've been meeting many cave men lol, in the sense that they do almost no self development work) and I also think that as we got out of survival mode, our priorities independently of sexes have shifted from duty to self actualization, another thing I see is that we are becoming more and more diverse, we are becoming more and more complex, which makes it more difficult for us to be willing to bend and be flexible to commit to a relationship, like a piece of a puzzle (image below) you become so unique and eccentric that you don't really fit anywhere easily, I feel like an alien doing self actualization work cause the the circle of men Im interested in keeps getting smaller and smaller the more I work on myself. 

There is also technology in the mix and the paradox of choice, where we have so many options on dating apps that we don't even want to chose, finding a partner became way too difficult so we dont even bother. 

Another point is the unbalance between masculine and feminine energies, with feminism and "me too" movements men are kind of scared of being manly or approaching women, the pendulum swung to the the extreme and I see lots of my girl friends complaining of men being princesses. 

Lastly there is a huge decrease of religion belifs, less and less people see the sacredness of being in union, being in partnership is seen as a loss of time etc. 

 

You made all the arguments that guys on the right like Kirk would make as to why this is a problem in this country. 

The question is - is it a problem? Or is it just evolution.

Edited 17 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Everyone dies alone.

Alone vs not alone is from a certain perspective just a duality.
But loneliness is still a serious issue of course.

I personally feel like taking care of everyone no matter who they are is equally important (still not a saint though), so my priorities are not that I must have a family of 'my own' like my parents felt, though I totally understand and appreciate them for creating me. As opposed to what @How to be wise wrote, I feel it is strange to me that people do feel the urge to reproduce!!

The picture from the OP is funny but very accurate. It seems people more and more resemble those complex puzzle pieces as we progress in development. And some try to over-fit and cannot change their shape much.
Thinking more about that, there is probably an opportunity for a dating app that allows for more complexity and better matches people, the big apps don't seem to optimize for good matching (since it would make people use them and waste less money on them). Imagine a high consciousness, open source, p2p, free to use system that respected people's data completely. It could also help find profound friendships, collaborators, and community, the other types of connections that prevent the dysthymia @Schizophonia mentioned.

[MsNobody]

@Leo Gura don’t pretend you don’t care about being in a romantic relationship, I still remember the post you made about finding a gf 😌

Being in denial doesn’t help much, if we were all one we wouldn’t be having this experience in different bodies. 

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

Some additional points to the OP:
Friendships might be rarer nowadays, which in appropriate form take pressure of romantic partnerships.
We are also not taught how to build relationships. And then there is the limiting belief that you have to find the perfect rather than building compatibility through shared experiences and efforts.

 

[MsNobody]

@Schizophonia yes I believe we are going through a loneliness epidemic right now, and it definitely doesn't affect only romantic relationships.

Social media creates a false sense of connection and we are left with an emptiness. Wee can only grow in relation to others, if we were alone in an island we would become savages, there is a reason why stage yellow grows where there is more people and diversity, its where all the mix of cultures happen, and like the bacteria in our stomach that needs a big range of different foods to be healthy, humans need exposure to experiences and connection with other humans to perfect itself, to mirror back. 

[MsNobody]

@How to be wise I dont think its much an issue with procreation itself, sexual energy goes beyond sexuality, it's raw creation energy, if you are not horny you are not healthy, and not only horny in the sexual sense, but a deep desire to live life, to go out there ad build something. I believe this is missing in the new generation.

Also the majority of men dont take care of themselves, dont exercise, dont do routine blood tests, eat lots of fast food, or food in plastic containers, burn their dopamine pathways watching porn, you would think that only men that are older have low T, but its a general problem. 

[MsNobody]

@Inliytened1 I think its a problem, but men cannot see it because society taught them to be hyper independent and we know the current situation of mens mental health as a result of that. 

Statistically speaking married or long-term partnered men live aprox 10 years longer than single men, they tend to commit less suicide, they are more successful,  they are healthier, they have lower cortisol levels.

Talking about humans in general, people with strong social and romantic connections have a 50% higher likelihood of survival when compared to those who were isolated or single. The worst thing you can do to a human is to put him/her in solitary confinement, it's funny how little effort men put into relationships given the data. 

Maybe Im a hopeless romantic but I think there is so much value in having a sacred union, a supportive partner, to help each other grow through life, there is a lot os goodness that was discarded with religion, we threw the baby with the bath water and now wee qre ll suffering in silence and dont even know why. 

[MsNobody]

@Bjorn K Holmstrom yes dating apps are fairly new, I guess in the future it will definitely include more complexities to it. So much is missed in the virtual world that only in person connections can offer.