How many of us are ACTUALLY interested in Awakening?

[Terell Kirby]

It's abnormal for a human mind to want to 1.deconstruct their sense of self/identity 2. surrender it completely

I'm at a point in Consciousness work where i'm really asking why I wanted this to begin with.

The deeper I go, the more it feels beyond me. I don't know what's driving me here-i can't imagine self being driven to deconstruct its very existence.

This is complicated stuff

[Yimpa]

What else is there to do?

[Terell Kirby]

Just now, Yimpa said:

What else is there to do?

A lot actually .. distractions that is.

Out of all the things to do in Existence, Awakening .... sheesh

[theoneandnone]

If awakening is beyond solipsism then I am curious to push the boundaries. If it’s just solipsism I’ll keep dreaming because fuck that shit.

[ivankiss]

Only one.

Which means all of us.

[LoneWonderer]

I'm getting lost in Leo's booklist avoiding the real work as per usual. 👍

[Natasha Tori Maru]

4 hours ago, Yimpa said:

What else is there to do?

Exactly - otherwise my mind eats itself alive

 

[WonderSeeker]

5 hours ago, LoneWonderer said:

I'm getting lost in Leo's booklist avoiding the real work as per usual. 👍

How is this avoiding the work?

[LoneWonderer]

18 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

How is this avoiding the work?

To me the real work is awakening, be it through psychedelics or meditation. Also I avoid real emotionally painful work, instead getting lost in books, documentaries etc. to avoid dealing with the harsh things in life. 

It's not like many areas of my life aren't in balance as I've systematically dealt with loads of my issues such as career, health, I run a small yt channel...but a few persist and those are the very difficult ones I choose to run away from. In my case it's relationships, a meditation practice and saving money instead of spending it.

Edited October 7 by LoneWonderer

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, LoneWonderer said:

Also I avoid real emotionally painful work, instead getting lost in books, documentaries etc. to avoid dealing with the harsh things in life. 

Ooof, I feel attacked! I admire how raw and honest you are with yourself.

Real emotional work was something I avoided for years until one day I found myself immobilized, unable to perform in life. I was then forced to face it all. It was a slow process but 10 years later I am pretty ace

I still have some odd old habits that arise. Now I witness them and am merely curious, rather than having the feeling that comes up swamp me. A side effect is I can spot my old behaviour in others a mile away. Even tiny little things are tells of deeper pain. Things I was totally blind to - until I healed. I see it often - but I also check myself for projection. 

Sort of the inspiration behind my signature too 

[Jannes]

On 7.10.2025 at 0:48 AM, Yimpa said:

What else is there to do?

Everything else. 

[LoneWonderer]

9 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Ooof, I feel attacked! I admire how raw and honest you are with yourself.

Real emotional work was something I avoided for years until one day I found myself immobilized, unable to perform in life. I was then forced to face it all. It was a slow process but 10 years later I am pretty ace

I still have some odd old habits that arise. Now I witness them and am merely curious, rather than having the feeling that comes up swamp me. A side effect is I can spot my old behaviour in others a mile away. Even tiny little things are tells of deeper pain. Things I was totally blind to - until I healed. I see it often - but I also check myself for projection. 

Sort of the inspiration behind my signature too 

Yeah, your personality shines through on the forum as someone who is confident in herself and keeps it real. I guess when you face all your crap you drop the pretending. Thanks for the share. 👍

Edited October 7 by LoneWonderer

[Someone here]

On 07/10/2025 at 1:42 AM, Terell Kirby said:

It's abnormal for a human mind to want to 1.deconstruct their sense of self/identity 2. surrender it completely

I'm at a point in Consciousness work where i'm really asking why I wanted this to begin with.

The deeper I go, the more it feels beyond me. I don't know what's driving me here-i can't imagine self being driven to deconstruct its very existence.

This is complicated stuff

True in a sense.  The biggest motivation for "ACTUALLY" purising awakening is to overcome suffering in life . 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

43 minutes ago, Someone here said:

The biggest motivation for "ACTUALLY" purising awakening is to overcome suffering in life . 

I think this is true of most seekers. Even on this forum many aren't brave enough to say it like that and brandish themselves as 'truth' seekers. But they only want a particular 'flavour' or truth.

Overcoming suffering was what lead me to real spiritual truth seeking - and even then I am way too much of a shit cu** to claim I am a truth seeker. More an.... inner peace seeker? Truth seeking is as loaded as awakening or enlightenment to me.

Lot of ego left in me. A LOT. It is just easy to think I have less when compared to normies

[aurum]

We do, and we don't.

Both are true depending on how you look at it.

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I think this is true of most seekers. Even on this forum many aren't brave enough to say it like that and brandish themselves as 'truth' seekers. But they only want a particular 'flavour' or truth.

Overcoming suffering was what lead me to real spiritual truth seeking - and even then I am way too much of a shit cu** to claim I am a truth seeker. More an.... inner peace seeker? Truth seeking is as loaded as awakening or enlightenment to me.

Lot of ego left in me. A LOT. It is just easy to think I have less when compared to normies

Haven't you watched Leo's recent video why truth is the highest value?  Bad girl haven't been doing the work 😂. 

But yeah there is obviously existential curiosity in all of us ..but seeking happiness and peace are of a more importance to most people..not pure truth .

Edited October 8 by Someone here

[WonderSeeker]

16 hours ago, LoneWonderer said:

To me the real work is awakening, be it through psychedelics or meditation. Also I avoid real emotionally painful work, instead getting lost in books, documentaries etc. to avoid dealing with the harsh things in life. 

It's not like many areas of my life aren't in balance as I've systematically dealt with loads of my issues such as career, health, I run a small yt channel...but a few persist and those are the very difficult ones I choose to run away from. In my case it's relationships, a meditation practice and saving money instead of spending it.

Why can't the book list be a component of doing awakening work? A part of the path?

Just meditating and psychedelics is great but why not include everything?

If books give you that extra 1-5% boost why not use them? Makes no sense.

Edited October 8 by WonderSeeker

[LoneWonderer]

36 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

Why can't the book list be a component of doing awakening work? A part of the path?

Just meditating and psychedelics is great but why not include everything?

If books give you that extra 1-5% boost why not use them? Makes no sense.

They do help, but they aren't the full picture and are being used as an escape in my case. Anything can be used as an escape books, sex, drugs, entertainment etc. vVery smart people BS themselves saying they're studying or reading or whatever, in reality many of them are escaping self actualization work in whatever field of life they are lacking.

[WonderSeeker]

3 hours ago, LoneWonderer said:

They do help, but they aren't the full picture and are being used as an escape in my case. Anything can be used as an escape books, sex, drugs, entertainment etc.

Very smart people BS themselves saying they're studying or reading or whatever, in reality many of them are escaping self actualization work in whatever field of life they are lacking.

Sometimes escapism is necessary. Until the pain of knowing you could be doing more becomes so great you actually take action. 

Happened to me in the domains of dating and business.

So what's stopping you from doing the real work right now?

[LoneWonderer]

1 hour ago, WonderSeeker said:

Sometimes escapism is necessary. Until the pain of knowing you could be doing more becomes so great you actually take action. 

Happened to me in the domains of dating and business.

So what's stopping you from doing the real work right now?

Fear, and absolute unwillingness to face that fear. It may be the case that I'll only do the work when the pain becomes too great but I thought I'd crossed that threshold many times yet here I am. Even 5 meo Malt and Mushrooms haven't helped. 

*Note fear in the domains of relationships. Spending all the money I make is an emotional crutch and response to a lack of self love or self respect something like that I'm not sure. I am also probably addicted to the high I get from buying something. I will be dealing with my bad money habits in the coming months/year, can't say I'll do the same about the relationships.

I think meditation it's just I haven't made it a priority and awakening via psychedelics I still hope to achieve in the near future.

Edited Wednesday at 10:09 PM by LoneWonderer