What makes you not commit suicide?

[Sugarcoat]

5 hours ago, Wilhelm44 said:

What activities do you have to get out of the head and into the body ? 

I find myself to be quite present in the body

[Wilhelm44]

25 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I find myself to be quite present in the body

Then why not choose to spend more time in body consciousness than mind consciousness for a while ?

The more powerfully grounded you become in the body, the more those suicidal tendencies will dissolve.

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Then why not choose to spend more time in body consciousness than mind consciousness for a while ?

The more powerfully grounded you become in the body, the more those suicidal tendencies will dissolve.

What is body consciousness? 

The majority of days I’m not suicidal btw 

Edited yesterday at 02:15 PM by Sugarcoat

[Wilhelm44]

3 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

What is body consciousness? 

The majority of days I’m not suicidal btw 

It's like a place to just hang out for a bit. Like you choose to place all of your awareness on simply enjoying the sensations in your body, just existence by itself for itself. ie moving away from mental chatter and also including the intelligence of the heart and the gut.

[Sugarcoat]

25 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

It's like a place to just hang out for a bit. Like you choose to place all of your awareness on simply enjoying the sensations in your body, just existence by itself for itself. ie moving away from mental chatter and also including the intelligence of the heart and the gut.

I find to quiet mental chatter one needs to deliberately focus on a certain sense perception like the breath or an object in one’s vision

[Wilhelm44]

2 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I find to quiet mental chatter one needs to deliberately focus on a certain sense perception like the breath or an object in one’s vision

Yes, and the more one can connect with the aliveness of the whole body, the more trusting one becomes of life.

[Sugarcoat]

25 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Yes, and the more one can connect with the aliveness of the whole body, the more trusting one becomes of life.

It’s just because the neurotic mind is quieter 

[Wilhelm44]

18 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

It’s just because the neurotic mind is quieter 

Exactly, and the more grounded in the body, the easier it becomes to feel through the stuff we dont wanna feel.

[Sugarcoat]

6 minutes ago, Wilhelm44 said:

Exactly, and the more grounded in the body, the easier it becomes to feel through the stuff we dont wanna feel.

Yea….

[Cheese]

The reason i do not commit suicide is partially that i held the info in this article being true or fear of it being true:

https://blavatskytheosophy.com/what-happens-to-people-who-commit-suicide/

The first years i held myself alive because i did not want my close family to suffer. The deeper i got depressed, that barrier slipped away. Later i held myself alive by not wanting/feared to spend rest my life in the Astral plane (belief). Then that slipped away. Finally i accepted that the suffering i experienced is deserved, i am obliged to experience this suffering and not selfishlly escape it through suicide. I think after that the suicidal thoughts lessened. Giving up alcohol and starting antidep meds also helped.

[Wilhelm44]

14 hours ago, Cheese said:

The reason i do not commit suicide is partially that i held the info in this article being true or fear of it being true:

https://blavatskytheosophy.com/what-happens-to-people-who-commit-suicide/

The first years i held myself alive because i did not want my close family to suffer. The deeper i got depressed, that barrier slipped away. Later i held myself alive by not wanting/feared to spend rest my life in the Astral plane (belief). Then that slipped away. Finally i accepted that the suffering i experienced is deserved, i am obliged to experience this suffering and not selfishlly escape it through suicide. I think after that the suicidal thoughts lessened. Giving up alcohol and starting antidep meds also helped.

How is the suffering you experienced "deserved" ? 

[trenton]

@Sugarcoat for me I was unable to die by suicide for lack of access to a fire arm. In mental health facilities there are lots of people like me who agree that they would be dead if they had a gun. Without an easy method of suicide, my survival instincts foil most of my plans. It could be cutting myself or jumping off a bridge. This is psychologically more difficult to do then putting a gun to head and killing yourself. Survival instincts are likely the reason why most suicide attempts fail.

Beyond that if you want to stop your suicidal thoughts, then I my experience you need to do deeper work than mere affirmations. You need to deconstruct the entire framework that has taken over and step outside of it entirely. In my case I find that self love is possible once I stop operating within a framework that my abusive family taught me. For you it probably is something different, but at least in some cases it is possible to stop suicidal thoughts with deep enough inner work. Beneath these dysfunctional frameworks is ultimately natural, unconditional, and present love.

I don't know if your situation is beyond something like how trauma hijacks the entire psychological system. You mention your situation is bad. I might need to look through this thread and find what is happening to you to make you feel this way. I will not judge you for reacting this way as I often felt that way myself.

[trenton]

@Sugarcoat I see you are comparing yourself to people who have it worse than you. This is a common perception in things like survivors guilt. The entire framework of treating others as having it worse than you is designed to invalidate your own feelings and pers perspective. I know that these thoughts patterns rooted in depression can be very fucking stubborn and hard to break, but it is possible. It requires being mindful of when your mind is following a belief that is familiar independent of what is true. You will need to separate your identity from the story being told. It is easier said than done, but it is possible to break out of these kinds of self defeating frameworks.

Don't worry if others have it worse than you. Your perspective is still unique and valid regardless of any such comparisons.these comparisons do not actually help the people who have it worse than you get better. It is actually self punishment disguised as nobility and humility.

I want you to one day find love. It will be when these comparisons are no longer needed at all and you can operate as your deepest self beyond this torture you are describing.

[trenton]

@Sugarcoat when you describe the deep emptiness with nothing positive about it when taking things like DMT you sound like you are describing the void. In trauma and depression survivors consciousness work often leads to this deep empty void with no love. What would normally be an experience of God's overwhelming love often gets deteriorated by the present trauma and can turn this love into pure terror or in your case possibly deep sadness. What you are describing is one of the limits people with depression and trauma might have when trying spirituality. I have experienced that as well. For me it was terrifying and not loving.

The way I work through this is to accept that I am the abyss. I do not reject it and I do not try to sugar coat it. I don't fight this deep emptiness as it is not something that you can simply will yourself out of. It is a state that has been created by the perpetual absence of love, but it is not as permanent as it may seem. Love is still possible, but it will not be easy with these kinds of struggles.