What people think during sex?

[Emerald]

On 6/23/2025 at 8:12 PM, Javfly33 said:

As long I focus completely on the pleasure of the woman as like my penis is a “tool” for her pleasure, I can last infinite amount of time. Because it becomes mechanical, pure, clean. it becomes like doing push-ups. Purely physical and mechanical. 

However the moment I start to have “toxic thoughts”, (sexist), of dominating her or of “possessing her”, or of “fucking her like is my object”, etc… I tend to instantly or almost instantly cum.

This is interesting. Basically this seems to look as like GOD rewards you when you behave good in your mind and punishes you when you behave bad (when you create toxic scenarios or thoughts about the woman)

Honestly, you might just have a domination kink, which is fine. Most men actually have that to some degree or another. It's nothing to feel ashamed of... nor is it necessarily an indicator of your values in day-to-day life.

And sex can be a great place to play with socially taboo things... if your partner is open to it. It can be excellent for self-exploration.

So, as long as you see your partner as a whole human being in other contexts and she's open to exploring these roles sexually, it can be exciting and a lot of fun.

For example, I tend to have a more submissive orientation to sexual encounters. And if I try to be dominant, I just don't enjoy it as much. So, in that context, I'm open to things that I'd never be okay with if somebody came up to me on the street and started treating me that way.

So, context is key here... as it the level of trust you have with your partner.

If some random guy runs up to me on the street and calls me his slut/bitch/whore, I'm going to want to throat punch him.

But if I'm with my partner who I love and trust and we're in the throes of passion and he calls me his slut/bitch/whore, it will probably add to the excitement.

It's like a play where you play the damsel in distress and he plays the villain that's going to tie you to the railroad tracks. And as long as it's just fun, it's perfectly fine.

And as long as she's into it, it wouldn't mean you're a REAL villain. It seems that that's your fear.

[Javfly33]

On 6/25/2025 at 6:21 PM, theleelajoker said:

With one ex-gf, at the beginning I refused to have hard submissive sex with her bc I had the impression that she experienced some (emotional or physical) violence. But she knew how to push my buttons and after a while I was so dominant and aggressive with her that I sometimes felt it was too much. For her it was never too much, she never complained, quite the opposite. Downside: I had the feeling she needs the aggression to feel herself and is not able to feel her body without these extreme. I tried - as best as I could - to experience with her the whole spectrum of sex from "gently making love"  to "I use you like a little ****" but it was very hard to open her up for the "gently making love" type of sex. Maybe I was not able to be gentle enough, maybe I needed the hard sex myself, who knows?

Today I think 1) it's part of our animal nature that's typically suppressed like @Lise said and 2)  I think it can too much and maybe points to some past experiences that keeps people from really feeling their body

Of course the like it, the point is to be able to give it in your mind you can´t be toxic, you have to behave like that but internally don´t produce any negative thoughts about her. I have struggled with this a lot because I come from deeply sexist family which they hated their own mother and basically seems they hated women lol @theleelajoker

Your personality is different because is clearly seen that you don´t have any negative karma about women inside yourself, so you can easily fuck them like that while inside yourself "loving them". But there are men which inside truly have toxic thoughts and emotions about women, remember they are rapists out there.

[Javfly33]

On 6/25/2025 at 10:45 PM, Emerald said:

Honestly, you might just have a domination kink, which is fine. Most men actually have that to some degree or another. It's nothing to feel ashamed of... nor is it necessarily an indicator of your values in day-to-day life.

And sex can be a great place to play with socially taboo things... if your partner is open to it. It can be excellent for self-exploration.

So, as long as you see your partner as a whole human being in other contexts and she's open to exploring these roles sexually, it can be exciting and a lot of fun.

For example, I tend to have a more submissive orientation to sexual encounters. And if I try to be dominant, I just don't enjoy it as much. So, in that context, I'm open to things that I'd never be okay with if somebody came up to me on the street and started treating me that way.

So, context is key here... as it the level of trust you have with your partner.

If some random guy runs up to me on the street and calls me his slut/bitch/whore, I'm going to want to throat punch him.

But if I'm with my partner who I love and trust and we're in the throes of passion and he calls me his slut/bitch/whore, it will probably add to the excitement.

It's like a play where you play the damsel in distress and he plays the villain that's going to tie you to the railroad tracks. And as long as it's just fun, it's perfectly fine.

And as long as she's into it, it wouldn't mean you're a REAL villain. It seems that that's your fear.

@Emerald Appreciate your words. I judge my domination tendency because it is not rooted on Love for the other person (fulfilling its desires and pleasure) it Is rooted on insecurity and emotional issues.

 The problem is I have a karma of being sexist, narcisistic, treating bad women and not respecting them. I never have put a hand on a woman but emotionally I have treated in a bad way, I have verified this because my father and grandfather were also insecure sexists. Trust me I have been a real villain, but at the same time I think by having become conscious of this I am beginning to change. For example I used to subconsciously judged women precisely because of being submissive, then I fully explored my submissive side in BDSM and realized that if I kept judging myself for having a submissive role that meant I judged women that liked the same, which is a lot of them. Thankfully all this shadows are coming up to the surface and realizing the mistakes I've done in my mind, and feel I'm close to a complete healthy transformation on my psyche regarding to sex.

 

[Javfly33]

On 6/24/2025 at 3:55 AM, aurum said:

Or, maybe you've just not owned this part of yourself yet.

How that would look like? @aurum

On 6/24/2025 at 4:10 AM, Hojo said:

Try to think nasty thoughts when she ride you and see if you instantly cum. Bet not. The act of physical domination is doing it.

Yes

On 6/24/2025 at 9:08 PM, Schizophonia said:

Is it the opposite? You say when you treat sex like a performance, you don't enjoy it/you don't enjoy it badly.

I do enjoy it, in fact mentally I enjoy it more, because is true union, if I let the mind arise domination thoughts that creates a duality, which makes me cum and therefore ends the sex LOL (end of union)

[Schizophonia]

1 minute ago, Javfly33 said:

How that would look like? @aurum

Yes

I do enjoy it, in fact mentally I enjoy it more, because is true union, if I let the mind arise domination thoughts that creates a duality, which makes me cum and therefore ends the sex LOL (end of union)

In my mind domination is precisely about deleting duality 🤔 Like there is no “other” anymore by overcoming all resistance.

[Javfly33]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

In my mind domination is precisely about deleting duality 🤔 Like there is no “other” anymore by overcoming all resistance.

Probably because your domination tendency in sex comes from a masculine healthy side, I think mine comes from insecure drive, like rapist kind of way.

Edited June 28 by Javfly33

[Schizophonia]

I talked to a girl about this in my discord group recently, for some reasons we talked about fetishes and she asked me why I think I have very dom fetishes while she has at the opposite submission fetishes.

I thought about it a bit and the conclusion was basically that I love women so much, I see them so much like little fragile and emotional things that need my presence that the logical following was to dominate them.

Kissing her, nibbling and licking her everywhere, playing and putting my hand in her hair, cuddling her, lifting her in my arms, fucking her hard while spanking her etc etc

It's like "this is my toy to me 🧸🙂‍↔️😠”

Edited June 28 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

13 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Probably because your domination tendency in sex comes from a masculine healthy side, I think mine comes from insecure drive, like rapist kind of way.

Rape can be attractive as a game but always in the idea the girl “capitulates”, not suffers.

Edited June 28 by Schizophonia

[RendHeaven]

I agree

[aurum]

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

How that would look like?

I would find a way to explore these kinks in the bedroom.

Don't just assume they're toxic and shove them down.

If you're worried about inherited misogyny, that's good. That shows you're not blind to the potential problems here. But misogyny can be healed independently of domination kinks.

Work on loving and respecting women outside the bedroom. 

[Javfly33]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

 

 

I thought about it a bit and the conclusion was basically that I love women so much, I see them so much like little fragile and emotional things that need my presence that the logical following was to dominate them.

Kissing her, nibbling and licking her everywhere, playing and putting my hand in her hair, cuddling her, lifting her in my arms, fucking her hard while spanking her etc etc

It's like "this is my toy to me 🧸🙂‍↔️😠”

That seems a very healthy structure 

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Rape can be attractive as a game but always in the idea the girl “capitulates”, not suffers.

Yes, I agree

35 minutes ago, aurum said:

I would find a way to explore these kinks in the bedroom.

Don't just assume they're toxic and shove them down.

If you're worried about inherited misogyny, that's good. That shows you're not blind to the potential problems here. But misogyny can be healed independently of domination kinks.

Work on loving and respecting women outside the bedroom. 

🙏

[CARDOZZO]

Call her your little bitch, spank that ass and scream like a horse.

You deserve it.                                      

[Javfly33]

13 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Call her your little bitch, spank that ass and scream like a horse.

You deserve it.                                      

😂

[theleelajoker]

On 28.6.2025 at 9:14 AM, Javfly33 said:

Probably because your domination tendency in sex comes from a masculine healthy side, I think mine comes from insecure drive, like rapist kind of way.

Carful about projections, also towards yourself. I don't know you but just looking at your content in this forum, I clearly lean towards healthy. 

Talk about it with your girl, be open be transparent and especially be aware. Her reactions - in particular body language - will show you in a very clear way when it's exactly what she wants/ needs and when you're crossing a line. 

At least that's my experience and with few exceptions (that spanking was too hard, that pull of hair too much) the actions above are all you need to be aligned in sex. 

And even if you miss alignment - so what? You simply move bit by bit, inch by inch, carful and aware of your actions so it will never be too harsh if you miss the mark a bit. If it happens, I say I'm sorry, I am more gentle next time and the girl has the experience that setting a boundary works if she speaks up. 

Edited June 29 by theleelajoker

[Javfly33]

7 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Carful about projections, also towards yourself. I don't know you but just looking at your content in this forum, I clearly lean towards healthy. 

Talk about it with your girl, be open be transparent and especially be aware. Her reactions - in particular body language - will show you in a very clear way when it's exactly what she wants/ needs and when you're crossing a line. 

At least that's my experience and with few exceptions (that spanking was too hard, that pull of hair too much) the actions above are all you need to be aligned in sex. 

And even if you miss alignment - so what? You simply move bit by bit, inch by inch, carful and aware of your actions so it will never be too harsh if you miss the mark a bit. If it happens, I say I'm sorry, I am more gentle next time and the girl has the experience that setting a boundary works if she speaks up. 

❤️‍🩹 Thanks bro, you are a good man. 

[EternalForest]

Virgin here, but when I masturbate my mind is literally blank. It's blissful.

[Schizophonia]

On 28/06/2025 at 10:06 PM, CARDOZZO said:

Call her your little bitch, spank that ass and scream like a horse.

You deserve it.                                      

My inflatable doll loves this

Edited Monday at 01:14 PM by Schizophonia

[CARDOZZO]

24 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

My inflatable doll loves this

Does she scream? "Go hard mode ScHiZOoOoOO"

[Schizophonia]

Just now, CARDOZZO said:

Does she scream? "Go hard mode ScHiZOoOoOO"

No she is a bit shy, but she has incredible stamina.

 

Tomorrow we're going to the swimming pooool 

[Joshe]

Men don’t suffer from premature ejaculation. Women do.