How to give a Man the best sex of His Life (for woman)

[LordFall]

I don't think most men have the luxury of choosing between the hot women that wanna fuck them and the sexually passionate women that wanna fuck them.

I'll keep that concept in mind though that's interesting. Subconsciously humans expand the least effort they can to get what they want so it makes sense for hot women to subconsciously know what they can afford to spend less effort to keep their men. 

[Emerald]

Several years back, I was doing a deep dive into the work of many female dating coaches like Helena Hart, Adrienne Everheart, and Rori Raye.

And I found their work to be a huge paradigm shift in terms of how women can operate to sort for the right partner and get the type of relationship she wants with her partner.

There's a lot in there about raising your standards, knowing your boundaries, prioritizing yourself over maintaining a relationship that isn't working, and leaning back a bit so that the guy has space to invest. A lot of it is about peeling your energy off the guy and putting it back on yourself and enriching your life.

But one thing that I learned in particular is in understanding what men really respond to in terms of deeper bonding.

Often times, women are taught that a man's desire for relationship is about being beautiful for him or having sex with him... or doing domestic chores and things like that.

And because of this misconception, women can try to use these as "tactics" to try to get a man to value her for a relationship instead of doing them simply because of her own wants. And she ends up going into treating the man like the prize and giving so much to him, which men will enjoy but won't value.

All of these tactics are about giving and putting your energy on him as opposed to investing your energy in yourself.

But one thing that was really interesting about these perspectives, when it came to understand what men are really drawn to relationship-wise, is that they are attracted to the Feminine tendency towards emotional expression and like to vicariously experience feelings and emotions through connection with the woman. 

So, anytime you can communicate raw feeling states... either positive/joyful ones or sad/scared vulnerable ones... it will tend to make him want to get closer... that is, if he's the connecting type and he already sees you as a potential candidate for a longterm relationship.

With that being said, your post makes sense that men would respond very strongly to women expressing really strong emotions during sex.

[theleelajoker]

On 6/23/2025 at 5:45 AM, Emerald said:

So, anytime you can communicate raw feeling states... either positive/joyful ones or sad/scared vulnerable ones... it will tend to make him want to get closer... that is, if he's the connecting type and he already sees you as a potential candidate for a longterm relationship.

With that being said, your post makes sense that men would respond very strongly to women expressing really strong emotions during sex.

+1 

Doesn't really matter if she's sad, happy, having her period, vulnerable, angry, full of bliss etc...as long as it's authentic and she just expresses without the intention to manipulate I do respond to that and feel more connection.

One time my ex-gf had such a shitty day that she barely want to talk to anyone. She felt like she's a burden for others in this mood. I convinced her to at least sent me a short video message. And seeing her expressing herself I felt like immediately going to see her. Not to change her mood or sth, just to be present with her. 

[Oppositionless]

@integral blue and green have both severely restricted our sexualities. Blue primailry  repressed feminine sexuality and green repressed masculine sexuality. The result is sex that is either completely sterile or perverse to the point of disgust. I think the fastest way to get good at sex is to reach tier two.

Edited July 1 by Oppositionless

[Schizophonia]

@Emerald What is attractive is the domination of a feminine emotional world, like a guardian or a rock.

 

This is why a virgin woman is more attractive, everything is still more unique while a woman with experience will be more “jaded”.

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

@Emerald What is attractive is the domination of a feminine emotional world, like a guardian or a rock.

This is why a virgin woman is more attractive, everything is still more unique while a woman with experience will be more “jaded”.

I don't believe that the majority of full grown men would agree that a virgin is more attractive or interesting to have sex with.

The reality is that virgins (male and female) are inexperienced and will tend to fumble around in the bedroom. That's why the first sexual experience is usually very mutually awkward.

But I can understand how a lad who is also a virgin himself might prefer a virgin woman... as both parties will be going in blind to the experience and he won't feel as much insecurity or pressure to perform well at something he himself has no experience in.

[Emerald]

On 6/25/2025 at 1:29 PM, theleelajoker said:

+1 

Doesn't really matter if she's sad, happy, having her period, vulnerable, angry, full of bliss etc...as long as it's authentic and she just expresses without the intention to manipulate I do respond to that and feel more connection.

One time my ex-gf had such a shitty day that she barely want to talk to anyone. She felt like she's a burden for others in this mood. I convinced her to at least sent me a short video message. And seeing her expressing herself I felt like immediately going to see her. Not to change her mood or sth, just to be present with her. 

Yes, that's a great point. It has to be without agenda... as agenda and manipulation is going into Masculine energy.

But if she just shares her feelings with no expectations that is her in the Feminine. And it tends to draw a man in toward her.

[Schizophonia]

37 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I don't believe that the majority of full grown men would agree that a virgin is more attractive or interesting to have sex with.

They are not masculine, they look for their mom.

I want sex being a low stress place.

Quote

The reality is that virgins (male and female) are inexperienced and will tend to fumble around in the bedroom. That's why the first sexual experience is usually very mutually awkward.

If you hate yourself maybe.

Inexperience is funny/cute.

Quote

But I can understand how a lad who is also a virgin himself might prefer a virgin woman... as both parties will be going in blind to the experience and he won't feel as much insecurity or pressure to perform well at something he himself has no experience in.

Sex isn’t supposed to be a performance.

Otherwise you might as well go see a prostitute or a gigolo if you are a woman.

Edited July 3 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Btw how much experience is needed to put your penis in a vagina and go back and forth

Edited July 3 by Schizophonia

[Emerald]

21 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

They are not masculine, they look for their mom.

I want sex being a low stress place.

If you hate yourself maybe.

Inexperience is funny/cute.

Sex isn’t supposed to be a performance.

Otherwise you might as well go see a prostitute or a gigolo if you are a woman.

My experience has been that mature men tend to want a woman who is roughly on the same page as them, sexually and otherwise. 

And men who are over a certain age who are all about virginity just come across like they never quite grew up.

This may be something that you're not tuned into as a guy in his early 20s. But it's important to be aware of how it's perceived by adult women and adult society in general.

But the main issue with what you're posting here is that you're making these posts off of random conjectures when you haven't even had sex yourself.

And it's not a problem that you haven't had sex yet, in itself. There is no shame in being a virgin. Lots of guys your age are in the same boat.

But you should recognize that you really don't even know what you're going to like yet. All you have is fantasies. And those fantasies may not be all they're cracked up to be in actuality.

For example, when I was fantasizing before I lost my virginity, I thought that I was going to be into 69ing and BDSM switching with all the ropes and accouterments. (I just thought the BDSM look was sexy, so it had become short-hand for sex)

And I had my first serious boyfriend what I was 16 who I lost my virginity to. And I lived with him and his family until I moved away for college at 18.

So, over the course of about a year and half living together, we tried out a lot of things sexually... including those fantasies.

And I was really surprised to find that those things I'd been fantasizing about, just didn't do it for me.

First off, 69ing is super annoying because trying give and receive at the same time is awkward and no one can surrender to the receiving because there is a responsibility to keep giving. I don't see why anyone likes it at all. 

And the BDSM thing just didn't do much for me. It was cool looking... but it didn't push any buttons.

And then, things that I hadn't fantasized or even thought about before did do it for me.

Like I was surprised at how much I liked the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. I hadn't even considered that I might enjoy the more vanilla or cuddly parts of sex because they weren't part of my pop culture/porn education about sex... and they didn't seem as interesting as other more "flashy" sexual acts.

Point being, you don't even know what you like yet.... let alone other men your age... let alone fully grown mature men.

[Emerald]

22 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Btw how much experience is needed to put your penis in a vagina and go back and forth

There's more to it than that. Remember... there is good and bad sex... and both involve penetration and going back and forth.

Good sex is more like a communicative dance.

And it usually takes a while to learn how to stay in sync with one another... and to keep the communication going throughout the experience.

And there's a learning curve that newbies (male and female) have to go through to get to that point.

[AION]

This is such a good watch 🤣

 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

On 23/06/2025 at 1:45 PM, Emerald said:

So, anytime you can communicate raw feeling states... either positive/joyful ones or sad/scared vulnerable ones... it will tend to make him want to get closer... that is, if he's the connecting type and he already sees you as a potential candidate for a longterm relationship.

With that being said, your post makes sense that men would respond very strongly to women expressing really strong emotions during sex.

I have found this to be very true in my experience. 

Show a man that he can remove the stress of a hard workday by jumping into pure emotion in the moment. Always found positive engagement to follow. It did always feel like men engaged with their own emotions through my own flamboyant expression (I am very expressive facially and I talk with my hands and body). Having said that, it doesn't work if one has predominantly negative emotions. 

But if i can bring real raw emotive communication to the bedroom it creates a thunderous experience 😁 

Words don't seem as powerful in this setting, but the best sex I have had is when raw emotion was the communication between me and the man. Words were only useful when I was cracking a joke, and laughing in the moment is damn bliss ! 

I think a lot of it comes down to subconsciously communicating to the man 'you make me feel safe enough to engage in the moment, fully. You hold space for me' Reinforcing he is providing as best he can and is powerful for her presence.

[theleelajoker]

6 hours ago, Emerald said:

Good sex is more like a communicative dance.

And it usually takes a while to learn how to stay in sync with one another... and to keep the communication going throughout the experience.

Yes I think it's just the continuation of communication. It's just becomes - typically - more nonverbal communication. 

I could often recognize how sexual patterns reflects other behaviors re daily interactions between the woman and me. Confidence, balance, passive vs. active, letting go, giving and receiving, etc. etc. 

Sex is IMO not a distant goal, a final destination or whatever, even if that seems to be reflected in our culture. It's the continuation of a process. And After Sex is before daily interactions which is before having sex another time which is already different because you got to know each other better... until infinity(!?)

First time with my GF was often (maybe every time?) awkward. But the learning curve tends to be very steep

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I have found this to be very true in my experience. 

Show a man that he can remove the stress of a hard workday by jumping into pure emotion in the moment. Always found positive engagement to follow. It did always feel like men engaged with their own emotions through my own flamboyant expression (I am very expressive facially and I talk with my hands and body). Having said that, it doesn't work if one has predominantly negative emotions. 

But if i can bring real raw emotive communication to the bedroom it creates a thunderous experience 😁 

Words don't seem as powerful in this setting, but the best sex I have had is when raw emotion was the communication between me and the man. Words were only useful when I was cracking a joke, and laughing in the moment is damn bliss ! 

I think a lot of it comes down to subconsciously communicating to the man 'you make me feel safe enough to engage in the moment, fully. You hold space for me' Reinforcing he is providing as best he can and is powerful for her presence.

Yes, that's an important point.

Men tend to like to feel like they're having a powerful positive effect towards their partner.

So, open emotional expression shows him his impact on you.

And there's also the vicarious enjoyment of experiencing a woman who's in touch with her emotions and body.

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, theleelajoker said:

Yes I think it's just the continuation of communication. It's just becomes - typically - more nonverbal communication. 

I could often recognize how sexual patterns reflects other behaviors re daily interactions between the woman and me. Confidence, balance, passive vs. active, letting go, giving and receiving, etc. etc. 

Sex is IMO not a distant goal, a final destination or whatever, even if that seems to be reflected in our culture. It's the continuation of a process. And After Sex is before daily interactions which is before having sex another time which is already different because you got to know each other better... until infinity(!?)

First time with my GF was often (maybe every time?) awkward. But the learning curve tends to be very steep

That's been my experience too that it's a continuation of other non-sexual forms of communication.

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, AION said:

This is such a good watch 🤣

 

I just watched the video.

How does it help you with your goal to get better with women?

Is it just like, "Haha. Yeah, women are delusional." while feeling validated and everything else stays the same.

Or does it actually concretely help you meet women?

[AION]

@Emerald that video doesn’t help me. But it does make me laugh and made me interested in his book which helped me to better negotiate in relationships. And get what I want by offering what they want which is emotional intimacy. I learned a lot from Taraban. This is just one example. 

Edited July 5 by AION

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

Yes, that's an important point.

Men tend to like to feel like they're having a powerful positive effect towards their partner.

So, open emotional expression shows him his impact on you.

And there's also the vicarious enjoyment of experiencing a woman who's in touch with her emotions and body.

I think this video from Teal Swan encapsulates this idea very well. I think if a man can supply 'containment' as she coins it, it's a good foundation for exploring sex that can surpass just penis in vagina:

 

[Leo Gura]

53 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

just penis in vagina