When to Commit to a Woman (From a Guy in His Mid-20s)

[Marten98]

So here’s where I’m at:

I’m in my mid twenties, I run my own business successfully, I’ve had some success with women (did some pick-up), and I’ve had a few short term relationships. Right now, there’s someone in my life who I like and she made me commit to being in a relationship.

But I’m stuck with this question:

Should I commit longterm (living together, plans about future etc.)? Or is it too early in my life to go all in?

I still feel like I haven’t burned through all my karma with women. There’s curiosity left. And at the same time, I don’t want to mess around forever. I want depth, realness, intimacy but I don’t want to lie to myself or her.

Sometimes I think: what if I give this woman my time, money. energy, emotions and in two years it ends? Was it a waste?

Im not sure she is the right person for me and there are some things that I dont like about her that make me doubt about her long term traits as a partner. Of course, there are even more things I do like about her and Im willing to give her a chance. I also prefer being with her above being alone. Ist that enough for now? Should I be completeley honest with her and share my feelings? My intuition tells me I‘m not gonna be with her forever. She wants to be though, and it sometimes feels immature in the way she loves me. She has an anxious attachment style. For my age I would claim to be emotionally and spiritually developed.

The problem is I have rarely met emotionally mature, developed women in my life. And Im not sure what level of development I can expect from girls in their 20s.

Would love to hear from others:

When did you know it was time to commit? Or not?

What does commitment mean really? I dont want to hurt her or lie. 

Edited May 24 by Marten98

[Salvijus]

I'm of an opinion that the more partners you switch the less likely you are ever going to commit to anyone. Another relationship will become "just another one". Like the more times you use a sticker, the less effective it becomes. 

1 hour ago, Marten98 said:

I still feel like I haven’t burned through all my karma with women

I doubt that's a real thing. 

Edited May 24 by Salvijus

[Marten98]

22 hours ago, Salvijus said:

 

I doubt that's a real thing. 

According to Leos „Burning through Karma“ episode it is.

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Marten98 said:

According to Leos „Burning through Karma“ episode it is.

Only what accords to reason matters. 

[Schizophonia]

The karma that exists is the one you consent to bring into existence; you cannot “burn” karma, you either bring it into existence or you don’t.
 

I would go directly to the place that gives me the most pleasure, where I feel good, not just in the women's area.
 

Picking up girls might be better than ending up in a shitty relationship, but you don't build anything deep and fun with pick-up girls.

[Hojo]

Even thinking about commiting and not commiting is confusing the situation way more than it has to be.

Thinking about what karma and what karma you dont have is probably a useless task. You have no idea if its more women or a connection you want. Just go with the flow dont think about any longer term commitment than it has to be. Anything can happen and when you invite another infinity into the situation anything x infinity can happen.

You dont have control.

Edited May 26 by Hojo

[Eskilon]

You need to develop intuition to know when and if you want to commit to someone.

When you find someone that you truly connect with, you will not think of playing around with someone else. Because true connection is such a rare thing on this planet; so keep searching, if you find her, you will know.

Edited May 26 by Eskilon

[Marten98]

Thank you @Eskilon and @Hojo for these insights, I will integrate them!

[Breakingthewall]

Follow your instinct, it's the only possible guide. 

[Majed]

@Marten98 Do not commit. Instead burn through your karma while you're young. After all she's just another girl, nothing too special about her. Have some fun, the years where you're young is the time to go wild. 

[Spiral]

Remember that commitment means not being with other people for as long as you are committed. Not you have to get married, have children and grow old together.

Serial monogamy is the name of the game these days.

Edited yesterday at 02:16 PM by Spiral

[Miguel1]

Be with her for experience, you are young as hell. You are not running out of time to date around anytime soon.

Think of it this way: you are learning relationship skills for when you actually do meet that girl you spend your life with.

You are also learning what types of girls you like and what you dislike to be in a relationship with.