Why are people so lonely these days?

[PenguinPablo]

Is it because the Garden of Eden can’t quench the real thirst?

i.e. the need to merge with the infinite

Or else be condemned to eternal dissatisfaction.

Is it because religion’s dead, and now most people are just floating through life, each with their own internal operating system, leading to a fundamental sense of isolation?

I remember when Lil Uzi Vert dropped that line:

“All my friends are dead, push me to the edge.”

I went to the club one night and everyone was singing it. It was weird. Everyone’s out with their friends, yet we’re all singing lyrics about a person in this existential drift -- the loneliness of existence, the kind that comes after deep betrayal, the kind that makes you feel alone even when surrounded by people.

It’s crazy that so many people resonate with it—half a billion views on YouTube. Was it just catchy, or were we all feeling that same disconnection, like we’re wandering through an existential wasteland?

It’s that feeling of being alone in the desert, even when you’re surrounded by mirages we call "people".

Maybe socializing with other humans gives us a sense of relief. But it’s just temporary. A fantasy we cling to, to cope with the loneliness and despair underneath.

Edited May 2 by PenguinPablo

[Breakingthewall]

I think it's because before, social glue provided a seemingly solid structure to social relationships, which were ultimately empty. When that glue came loose, the relationships disintegrated. All that remains is to find true and profound relationships. To do that, we must become true and profound.

[PenguinPablo]

15 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

I think it's because before, social glue provided a seemingly solid structure to social relationships, which were ultimately empty. When that glue came loose, the relationships disintegrated. All that remains is to find true and profound relationships. To do that, we must become true and profound.

You must become a good friend to yourself first.

Which we are not if our standards are so low to begin. Partly because we don't know any better. There is no discernment.

I've been spending a lot of time alone lately. And have had a sort of culture shock when I socialize again. In the worst way possible. It really is disappointing. 

Which is why I said in the first line: You must become a good friend to yourself first.

Anyway, thank you for your insight.

Edited May 2 by PenguinPablo

[Breakingthewall]

4 minutes ago, PenguinPablo said:

You must become a good friend to yourself first.

 

I said that you must become true and profound. If you become that, you will accept you absolutely without any crack

[LastThursday]

Loneliness is the result of the triumph of individualism over collectivism. Loneliness pushes you into existentialism because you're forced to directly face the pain of it and to get answers. 

27 minutes ago, PenguinPablo said:

Maybe socializing with other humans gives us a sense of relief. But it’s just temporary.

Socializing can't be dismissed as mere fluff, it's as important as water and air. Individualism downplays the role of other people in our lives, because... it has to. In that sense the paradigm is wrong.

[theleelajoker]

31 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Loneliness is the result of the triumph of individualism over collectivism. Loneliness pushes you into existentialism because you're forced to directly face the pain of it and to get answers. 

Socializing can't be dismissed as mere fluff, it's as important as water and air. Individualism downplays the role of other people in our lives, because... it has to. In that sense the paradigm is wrong.

1. Bold marked - this just made me realize one (major?) reasons why I was much less social in recent time. I was doubting myself, but I can see now how my tendency to loneliness is a good thing

2. Can you elaborate on the "Individualism downplays the role of other people in our lives, because... it has to. In that sense the paradigm is wrong." please?

[gettoefl]

We think others are different and know not how to bridge this gulf because we are taught others are scary, sneaky, shady. Be sure not to make eye contact and smile as you go your way, we are admonished. Others are out to get you. Religion tells you the truth: we are the same and nobody can hurt you. The practice is, what you believe about me is what you will see in me. In fact, you practice this every day to keep yourself safe, secure, ... lonely.

Edited May 2 by gettoefl

[LastThursday]

@theleelajoker a lot of lonely people don't choose to be alone and they'd rather not be. But if you are pulled towards it, or actively choose it, then it's not so much of a problem. Freedom is choice. I would be cautious though if you're having doubts, don't go cutting out people because of some idealistic ideas.

Individualism is a paradigm, because it is based on its own set of ideas and beliefs. The basic idea is that we're all responsible for ourselves, and that we shouldn't be dependent on other people to fulfil us. Collectivism is also a paradigm, basically that we're better off doing everything together.

If you look around you then, you're probably living in a city, which is in a nation. The very idea of a city or nation is a collectivist one. You probably work with other people to make a living, again more collectivism. In that sense collectivism has won out over individualism. 

Humans are not like a leopard that likes to go hunt and do everything for itself. If humans are supposed to be individualistic, then we would all be roaming around by ourselves literally hunting for our next meal like a leopard. No. As an animal humans have a collectivist bias, we like to do things together. Individualism goes against that innate bias we have, so it is wrong from that viewpoint.

[Breakingthewall]

5 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

lot of lonely people don't choose to be alone and they'd rather not be. But if you are pulled towards it, or actively choose it, then it's not so much of a problem. Freedom is choice. I would be cautious though if you're having doubts, don't go cutting out people because of some idealistic ideas.

One thing is enjoying solitude and another not having authentic human relationships. When we talk about loneliness, we refer to the latter.

[Schizophonia]

Social networks and work. 

[LastThursday]

1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

One thing is enjoying solitude and another not having authentic human relationships. When we talk about loneliness, we refer to the latter.

The confusion isn't mine, my response was to @theleelajoker's usage of the language. But the distinction is semantic, solitude and loneliness are the same, albeit one is maybe positive the other negative.

Loneliness is not absolute in any case, but rather a sliding scale. We each have a set point of what constitutes getting enough human interaction, if it goes below that, then we feel the negative effects of it.

[Breakingthewall]

3 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

We each have a set point of what constitutes getting enough human interaction, if it goes below that, then we feel the negative effects of it.

That's true, isolation affects deeply. Some people can bear it quite good, but mostly not so. 

[theleelajoker]

4 hours ago, LastThursday said:

@theleelajoker a lot of lonely people don't choose to be alone and they'd rather not be. But if you are pulled towards it, or actively choose it, then it's not so much of a problem. Freedom is choice. I would be cautious though if you're having doubts, don't go cutting out people because of some idealistic ideas.

Individualism is a paradigm, because it is based on its own set of ideas and beliefs. The basic idea is that we're all responsible for ourselves, and that we shouldn't be dependent on other people to fulfil us. Collectivism is also a paradigm, basically that we're better off doing everything together.

If you look around you then, you're probably living in a city, which is in a nation. The very idea of a city or nation is a collectivist one. You probably work with other people to make a living, again more collectivism. In that sense collectivism has won out over individualism. 

Humans are not like a leopard that likes to go hunt and do everything for itself. If humans are supposed to be individualistic, then we would all be roaming around by ourselves literally hunting for our next meal like a leopard. No. As an animal humans have a collectivist bias, we like to do things together. Individualism goes against that innate bias we have, so it is wrong from that viewpoint.

OK thx for clarification.

I get your point. Also not being a bit fan of idealistic ideas. I just realized that I spent a lot more time alone than I used to in other periods of my life. (still have a gf and close friendships, though. Not many, but some)

[Princess Arabia]

My view on all this stuff is that very rarely we see people talking about the great stuff happening (just like in the news), it's usually the doom and gloom stuff we hear about and now we think it's the majority. Internet and social media are just tools for these things to get more exposure. Depression, anxiety, trauma, loneliness, not getting laid, blah blah, is talked about more than their opposites because it's more juicy and drama-filled. Plenty of people are probably out there not lonely and depressed but who wants to hear about all that. 

[PenguinPablo]

36 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

My view on all this stuff is that very rarely we see people talking about the great stuff happening (just like in the news), it's usually the doom and gloom stuff we hear about and now we think it's the majority. Internet and social media are just tools for these things to get more exposure. Depression, anxiety, trauma, loneliness, not getting laid, blah blah, is talked about more than their opposites because it's more juicy and drama-filled. Plenty of people are probably out there not lonely and depressed but who wants to hear about all that. 

Misery loves company 

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, PenguinPablo said:

Misery loves company

[Aaron p]

9 hours ago, PenguinPablo said:

Why are people so lonely these days?

Part of the reason is what your using to read these words rn 📳🖥️

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Aaron p said:

Part of the reason is what your using to read these words rn 📳🖥️

People are lonely because they have eyes?

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

People are lonely because they have eyes?

[Breakingthewall]

8 hours ago, LastThursday said:

Humans are not like a leopard that likes to go hunt and do everything for itself. If humans are supposed to be individualistic, then we would all be roaming around by ourselves literally hunting for our next meal like a leopard. No. As an animal humans have a collectivist bias, we like to do things together. Individualism goes against that innate bias we have, so it is wrong from that viewpoint.

Yeah, humans are part of the hive, not real individuals. It is extremely rare for humans to prefer real solitude. The jungle where the leopard hunts is the social matrix for humans, and their instrument is language. A human alone couldn't survive, he's a weak being without the hive. 

Edited May 2 by Breakingthewall