Why is Sexuality so Weird?

[meta_male]

@Schizophonia I said you getting a chance to be dominant excites you, monsieur. Big difference.

[Schizophonia]

6 minutes ago, meta_male said:

@Schizophonia I said you getting a chance to be dominant excites you, monsieur. Big difference.

Oh mea culpa.

I think that the concept of self is completely relative, from this point of view I am post-modern lol; But I also believe that for the sake of well-being the most relative layers should align with the most absolute ones.
 

The easiest thing for a straight man (assuming that homosexuality is not also an anomaly) is to make love normally with a woman, generally in a dominant manner.
 

If your libido is behaving strangely, there is no need to beat yourself up, without going into details it will only "make the problem worse" and hurt you; but the truth is that behind all this you will find an education, a relationship with parents and others, traumas and ultimately a system of beliefs that comes to twist the expression of this libido.

[The Crocodile]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

The easiest thing for a straight man (assuming that homosexuality is not also an anomaly) is to make love normally with a woman, generally in a dominant manner.

I'd say generally all humans are bisexual, at the very least potentially, through the archetype of parents, and you're able to parent or be parented by both sexes. + all humans have sex characteristics from both sexes within themselves and then also to be attracted to in others.

 

[Rafael Thundercat]

Sexuality is Weird. As weird as a redemed OnlyFans Girl. Of course one day we would hear this stories, as many other Ex Porn Stars. Once money is made they want to save face and clean the history. In her case I think OnlyFan platform got the best and dont allow the content to be erased till every subscriber unsubscribe

 

[meta_male]

5 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I think that the concept of self is completely relative, from this point of view I am post-modern lol; But I also believe that for the sake of well-being the most relative layers should align with the most absolute ones.

Post-modern? I thought that was just a code for making things complicated to sound deep 😝 Aligning layers of the self sounds like a sensible approach though.

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, The Crocodile said:

I'd say generally all humans are bisexual, at the very least potentially, through the archetype of parents, and you're able to parent or be parented by both sexes. + all humans have sex characteristics from both sexes within themselves and then also to be attracted to in others.

 

I might be attracted to a man if he is very neotenic and fits a certain phenotype; it happened when I was on high doses of DHEA lol.

But in reality, the slightest sign of masculinity will quickly disgust me with the idea of having sex.

Even a woman who is too masculine will disgust me.

[Schizophonia]

50 minutes ago, meta_male said:

Post-modern? I thought that was just a code for making things complicated to sound deep 😝 Aligning layers of the self sounds like a sensible approach though.

It basically means that life has no meaning.  🐋

[The Crocodile]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I might be attracted to a man if he is very neotenic and fits a certain phenotype; it happened when I was on high doses of DHEA lol.

Yeah, I love playing into the confusion around what my sex/gender is.

 

[Nemra]

On 4/16/2025 at 11:22 PM, Schizophonia said:

Even a woman who is too masculine will disgust me.

@Schizophonia, when you find them, get their number for me. 😁

[Schizophonia]

On 16/04/2025 at 11:18 PM, The Crocodile said:

Yeah, I love playing into the confusion around what my sex/gender is.

 

You are a mtf isn’t it ?

48 minutes ago, Nemra said:

@Schizophonia, when you find them, get their number for me. 😁

lol.

I will think about you.

Edited May 18 by Schizophonia

[Emerald]

On 4/14/2025 at 7:59 PM, Nemra said:

To me, it seems that dynamics that you think are good for sexuality are the opposite for other domains of life, like control, fantasy, manipulation, etc.

E.g., I would love being objectified or controlled in a sexual context, but I would hate it in all other domains of life. It seems like there's a disconnect between sexual preferences and everyday values. But why?

It's possible that you're looking for something you needed from childhood that you never had safe access to in real life.

Like, it's possible you may have an unmet need for surrender from childhood, where you weren't able to trust your parents enough to really let go and just be a kid. 

And the repressed child part of you that has that unmet need is still looking another person take on all the power... and thus all of the responsibility so that you can experience that need that you never experienced..

This is a common dynamic for those who had to be responsible too young.

But in real life, acting upon that unmet need for surrender and giving up all your power to another person wouldn't be able to take its root without undermining your whole life and sacrificing so many of your other needs... and without creating a ton of stress and drumming up feelings of mistrust.

So, sexuality becomes a safe-space for playing out this situation where you're forcefully stripped of power and control... and you're forced to surrender by a dominant female figure.

[Nemra]

@Emerald, so, you are saying that the need to surrender would mostly vanish in the future when I meet that need?

To me, it seems like the need to surrender would be there until I die because often I feel authentic when I am in surrender mode, especially in a sexual context. In that mode, I want to be in or act certain ways that are feminine, as it feels more appropriate to me.

However, life does not care how I like to be. So, I have to be careful.

Edited Sunday at 09:57 PM by Nemra

[Nemra]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

The more self-full you are, the more naturally dominant you are.

Then I am not full of myself. 😁

It didn't come to me naturally and I had to learn it, which doesn't go well with lots of things as I find out. The opposite comes to me more naturally.

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I would have the same reaction as when you are stressed and someone is talking to you at the same time.

I'm not stressed. It just feels genuine and authentic.

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I strongly suspect that autogynephilic people prefer boredom to the weight of the ego ideal and automatically find themselves compulsively projecting the phallus in sexuality.

Boredom isn't the reason, in this case, of preferring to be in a certain way. It's the arousal of being in a certain way.

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

I totally disagree with Emerald; I would intuitively say that you were not pushed to be phallic and so it scares you too much now; because there is too much fear of being "not enough" (castration anxiety).

If by phallic you mean responsible, then I would say I have been pushed to be more responsible. Too much actually for my age. But I'm glad, to be honest. I just don't want to get into it here.

Edited Sunday at 11:29 PM by Nemra

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Nemra said:

@Emerald, so, you are saying that the need to surrender would mostly vanish in the future when I meet that need?

To me, it seems like the need to surrender would be there until I die because often I feel authentic when I am in surrender mode, especially in a sexual context. In that mode, I want to be in or act certain ways that are feminine, as it feels more appropriate to me.

However, life does not care how I like to be. So, I have to be careful.

Not necessarily so, as the neural pathways would still be there. So, you'll likely always be able to enjoy that... even if you totally resolved that need.

But getting that need met sexually may shift in terms of importance, if you were able to meet that need through other outlets as well.

There's a person I met at an Ayahuasca ceremony who was sharing about some shifts that he made with plant medicine. He said used to have a strong fetish since he was a small child. But after he participated in an earlier Ayahuasca ceremony and experienced some shifts... he still enjoyed that kink. But it doesn't feel as important to him as it was prior to that in his life.

And this particular fetish was one that was making him feel both wanted and also like he was harmless due to incapacitation of certain abilities... which related back to certain insecurities he had from childhood around feeling disconnected and fearing that he was harmful in some way.

So, he could still enjoy that... but it became less necessary and less of a focus for him intimately.

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

I totally disagree with Emerald; I would intuitively say that you were not pushed to be phallic and so it scares you too much now; because there is too much fear of being "not enough" (castration anxiety).

I've seen this pattern really often that children who feel like they need to be responsible at such a young age can tend to develop a few main patterns (sometimes all of them and sometimes just a few of them)...

1. Taking on responsibility for things outside of the scope of their control/responsibility
2. Avoiding responsibilities that are inside of the scope of their control/responsibility 
3. Self-rebellion and self-sabotage when setting goals and routines
4. Hyper-independence
5. Submissive sexual fantasies as a means of seeking release from responsibility and the ability to soften
6. Not reaching out for help with things as an extension of the hyper-independence
7. God Complex (a sense that one is responsible for everything)
8. Feeling chronically drained and exhausted
9. Having periods of intense hard work and then period of extreme laziness
10. Lack of trust in self and others
11. Difficulty delegating tasks to others and a sense that "If it's going to get done right, I have to do it myself."

@Nemra If you don't mind my asking, do you relate strongly to many of these patterns?

[Leo Gura]

The rarity of the sex feeling is what makes is such an effective carrot for survival.

[Frenk]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The rarity of the sex feeling is what makes is such an effective carrot for survival.

What if society would make sex as normal as eating food in the future, what would happen you think, what would people chase?

[Leo Gura]

8 minutes ago, Frenk said:

What if society would make sex as normal as eating food in the future

That's a foolish thing to do. Like eating caviar for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. It loses all meaning.

[Miguel1]

@Emerald I was one of those kids who had to take a lot of responsibilities as a kid, and I relate a lot to what you are saying + your statements.

My parents divorced early on, so my mom being in a foreign country (Finland), she didn’t speak the language. I spoke as I was born here. Also, I was the oldest of 3 children. So I kinda became the father of the family at the age of 8-10.

That being said, I wonder how much I’ve become in touch with my feminine side, ”thanks” to all that in my childhood. I have probably had to do a lot of inner work directly due to my childhood.

What do you think?

 

[Nemra]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

If you don't mind my asking, do you relate strongly to many of these patterns?

@Emerald, some of them.

Edited Monday at 06:50 AM by Nemra