Two years ago I had the God realization on 3g of mushrooms. Asking for Leo's opinion

[Adilbek]

@Leo Gura Hi Leo, sorry to bother you...I wrote this post about two years ago. 

This was the most significant event in my life. Could you provide your comment? I keep coming back to that God realization, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, it just becomes so obvious to me that I am God. I just need someone to talk to about this. Do you live in this state all the time? I feel like the ego is a way to "switch off" and not be ON all the time, do you agree? Thank you for everything, your Youtube videos.

And could you provide your assessment where I am in my spiritual journey and provide some guidance? I realize there's still ego keeping me sane, and there's really no levels since I am just God and that's really it. But maybe you have a different opinion.

Thanks a lot!

Edited August 8, 2024 by Adilbek

[cosmic fool]

I know you asked for Leo, but hoping my insights are useful and can bring some peace. The fantastical realms of DMT, of bread crumbs and "playing the game", eternal hide and seek, and God realization as your post describes it, are not the final realizations one can have (I realize that this can be a loaded phrase...wink ). The fantastic realms and bliss are convincing because of exactly that, they are fantastic and unbelievably blissful. Some would say they are the pinnacle of human experience, in a sense I am inclined to agree. In short, you are still in relative reality, there is still a some-thing (even if it is God) experiencing some-thing else. Things can be reduced further from here

This is nice to know, because you don't have to carry whatever burden comes to you from these moments of God realization. These spooks to your ego, unless cultivating more experiences in God-realization leads you to eventually put these ideas down and move on, or allows your body/mind/consciousness to expand to allow for growth, you don't have to put yourself through these trials if you would prefer not to. You'll see, you can have many of these experiences (whether voluntarily or involuntarily) but ultimately you'll be left unsatisfied, and asking "is there more?" - practically speaking, involuntarily insights might be your spirit yearning for growth. It can be speaking to your earnestness, and maybe some potential. I can't condone the use of drugs, but growth is typically a good thing - don't get in the way of your own growth by doing things you know are counter to your growing

The goal in spirituality is to move that meter stick we call "identity" further and further back. With God realization, you realize and focus on the fact of your consciousness, but this consciousness rests on an identity, mistakenly thinking "I am God, I am the single thing, only thing, all things, everywhere." But there is nothing that holds this identity, the identity we think these particular thoughts are happening to does not really exist. There is really only consciousness, removed from any sense of it thinking "I am God" or anyone owning it

You must continue moving that meter stick back until all subject-object experience and relativity (not reality, don't misread me) dissolves. Ramana would say that your "I" sense, the feeling of I goes into and dissolves in the heart. Buddha would say you are extinguished, like a candle. 

How do you do this? You continue studying, reading insights into enlightenment, you study and read and learn and apply all that you can. Follow an established path, find a teacher. My own recent insights have emphasized the importance of developing the virtuous qualities that Buddhism extols - honestly it is an excellent path if you ever consider it

The journey ends when it has ended, so you will keep making discoveries and removing layers of the identity until you are finished. 

Finally, be mindful about where the 'fantastic' sort of thoughts can lead - if it is time to hang up the phone, hang up the phone, don't unnecessarily pursue the realizations via drugs if you don't have to (not sure how much/often you are using). The 'fantastic' thoughts can be a bit ungrounding if pursued too far or in the wrong context and that could mean extra suffering for you and for anyone else who would have to deal with the fallout. God realizations (especially with drugs, but not always) can lead to some wackiness, no worries, stay calm and stay safe

Edited August 8, 2024 by cosmic fool

[Dodo]

@Adilbek can you clarify what you mean, what you refer to when you say God. And others too

[Leo Gura]

@Adilbek I read your trip report.

Yeah, you got a nice deep hit of God-Realization.

Yes, it is insanity.

Yes, everything and everyone is imaginary.

No, you're not crazy and nothing is wrong. This is just the wonderful nature of Consciousness. It's an Absolute Illusion.

Yes, it is difficult to integrate.

My best advice to you is to start seeing the beauty of illusion. Reality is an Absolute Illusion and you shouldn't want it any other way! Once you embrace that, things get delicious.

I recommend you continue doing low doses of mushrooms to help you develop a deep appreciation for illusion and Consciousness. You've already done the hardest part. Now you can reap the fruits. Don't turn your back on God so easily. Confront your remaining fears. Look God in the face.

Just don't take high doses.

[Majed]

@Leo Gura yesterday i realized everything is imaginary through contemplation.

[Dodo]

@Adilbek As a guy who never did psychedpsycs, except the mild mary jane, I got interested in this bit. 

"My ego is enormous. It is selfish and greedy. The fact that I needed a mushroom trip to see this means I wanted to feel special, regular ways of "getting to Truth" are not cool or special enough for me. All is an attempt to fill the hole inside. It's selfish and disregarding to my loved ones. It's all an attempt to add something to my collection of things that make me special, it's just greed and selfishness. It's disgusting. I remember that I said to myself "Why did you come to me again, go live your life. He won't stop until he kills himself". The ego is selfish it won't stop searching and digging until it destroys itself. But it won't find anything that isn't there already. It will just come to the same old place where I've always been. And alone, again. "

Does this mean that I DONT want enlightenment/ becoming God? 🤔 

[Breakingthewall]

In your trip you fall into the typical mistake of the psychonaut, confusing the ego with God. The one who is alone is the ego, which has remained firm all the time. If there had been a real dissolution, the total glory of the absence of limits would have been manifested. Everything you say that you are creating others, imagining them so as not to speak alone, are egoic projections. the creator god who imagines the reality that manifests in psychedelic trips is the ego. 

Could be said that the reality in imagining itself, but in a very different way, infinitely more complex than a single god dreaming. 

 

Edited August 8, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[OBEler]

18 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

In your trip you fall into the typical mistake of the psychonaut, confusing the ego with God. The one who is alone is the ego, which has remained firm all the time. If there had been a real dissolution, the total glory of the absence of limits would have been manifested. Everything you say that you are creating others, imagining them so as not to speak alone, are egoic projections. the creator god who imagines the reality that manifests in psychedelic trips is the ego. 

Could be said that the reality in imagining itself, but in a very different way, infinitely more complex than a single god dreaming. 

 

So you mean there is not a single god dreaming? Because reality is more complex?

[NoN-RaTiOnAL]

2 hours ago, Dodo said:

 

Does this mean that I DONT want enlightenment/ becoming God? 🤔 

you dont. until you get tired of the illusion. then you imagine a way out of it. then you break out. when being out becomes too comfy you want to go back in again. circle of consciousness. 

[OBEler]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Adilbek I read your trip report.

Yeah, you got a nice deep hit of God-Realization.

Yes, it is insanity.

Yes, everything and everyone is imaginary.

No, you're not crazy and nothing is wrong. This is just the wonderful nature of Consciousness. It's an Absolute Illusion.

Yes, it is difficult to integrate.

My best advice to you is to start seeing the beauty of illusion. Reality is an Absolute Illusion and you shouldn't want it any other way! Once you embrace that, things get delicious.

Does only then real joy and beauty awaits you once you integrate this? 

I have not much motivation to see everything as an illusion and then get an existential crisis and then maybe come back slowly but living the rest of my life in a illusion always knowing in the background it's not real. Doesn't sound motivational to discover this truth for me. I live a wonderful happy life is it still worth to discover god realization?Not for the sake of it but real worth. Like extreme beauty etc

Edited August 8, 2024 by OBEler

[Water by the River]

11 hours ago, cosmic fool said:

The goal in spirituality is to move that meter stick we call "identity" further and further back. With God realization, you realize and focus on the fact of your consciousness, but this consciousness rests on an identity, mistakenly thinking "I am God, I am the single thing, only thing, all things, everywhere." But there is nothing that holds this identity, the identity we think these particular thoughts are happening to does not really exist. There is really only consciousness, removed from any sense of it thinking "I am God" or anyone owning it

You must continue moving that meter stick back until all subject-object experience and relativity (not reality, don't misread me) dissolves. Ramana would say that your "I" sense, the feeling of I goes into and dissolves in the heart. Buddha would say you are extinguished, like a candle.

Shhh. Don't spoil the God Ego fun! 

Its the last (and also wrong, incorrect, aka ignorant) identity before all identities, lenses and filters of separation (aka identities of any kind) - and with that all remaining ignorance and its corresponding suffering/resistance - can and is transcended. One is still one too many...

Beyond that: The final removal of the self-contraction of any identity and its inherent resistance/suffering. God-Egos still resist (aka psychologically suffer)...

 

Selling "How do you extend your ego to Infinity and then call it God and have fun while doing so until one gets tired of that identity/suffering/resistance also" by the River

 

[Breakingthewall]

4 hours ago, OBEler said:

 

 

4 hours ago, OBEler said:

So you mean there is not a single god dreaming? Because reality is more complex?

When they say: I am God dreaming reality, they mean that I am the center, a focus from which reality is projected like a movie. So, there is something real, me, and something imaginary, reality. This is totally wrong, there is no center.

There is only one being, I, unlimited, which reflects itself infinitely, and creates itself in infinite dimensions that overlap infinitely. All this is form, and if you want you can say that it is imaginary, although it seems like an erroneous term to me. impermanent is better.

Enlightenment is not seeing that reality is an illusion, it is opening yourself completely to what you are, dissolving the limits.

Edited August 8, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[OBEler]

14 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

 

When they say: I am God dreaming reality, they mean that I am the center, a focus from which reality is projected like a movie. So, there is something real, me, and something inimaginary, reality. This is totally wrong, there is no center.

There is only one being, I, unlimited, which reflects itself infinitely, and creates itself in infinite dimensions that overlap infinitely. All this is form, and if you want you can say that it is imaginary, although it seems like an erroneous term to me. impermanent is better.

Enlightenment is not seeing that reality is an illusion, it is opening yourself completely to what you are, dissolving the limits.

Thank you so much for clarifying this. The first one sounds more like Leo's talking in his deleted solipsim video ("I am God dreaming reality, they mean that I am the center, a focus from which reality is projected like a movie"). That would explain why he says nothing exists outside your bubble formed by your ego. You are the center of reality.

Maybe Leo evolved out of this with his second follow up video about Infinity of God's.

@Leo Guraplease correct me if I am wrong

 

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Water by the River said:

 

 

Selling "How do you extend your ego to Infinity and then call it God and have fun while doing so until one gets tired of that identity/suffering/resistance also" by the River

 

Ego raised Up to Infinity 😂😂

[Adilbek]

On 8/7/2024 at 10:31 PM, cosmic fool said:

I know you asked for Leo, but hoping my insights are useful and can bring some peace. The fantastical realms of DMT, of bread crumbs and "playing the game", eternal hide and seek, and God realization as your post describes it, are not the final realizations one can have (I realize that this can be a loaded phrase...wink ). The fantastic realms and bliss are convincing because of exactly that, they are fantastic and unbelievably blissful. Some would say they are the pinnacle of human experience, in a sense I am inclined to agree. In short, you are still in relative reality, there is still a some-thing (even if it is God) experiencing some-thing else. Things can be reduced further from here

This is nice to know, because you don't have to carry whatever burden comes to you from these moments of God realization. These spooks to your ego, unless cultivating more experiences in God-realization leads you to eventually put these ideas down and move on, or allows your body/mind/consciousness to expand to allow for growth, you don't have to put yourself through these trials if you would prefer not to. You'll see, you can have many of these experiences (whether voluntarily or involuntarily) but ultimately you'll be left unsatisfied, and asking "is there more?" - practically speaking, involuntarily insights might be your spirit yearning for growth. It can be speaking to your earnestness, and maybe some potential. I can't condone the use of drugs, but growth is typically a good thing - don't get in the way of your own growth by doing things you know are counter to your growing

The goal in spirituality is to move that meter stick we call "identity" further and further back. With God realization, you realize and focus on the fact of your consciousness, but this consciousness rests on an identity, mistakenly thinking "I am God, I am the single thing, only thing, all things, everywhere." But there is nothing that holds this identity, the identity we think these particular thoughts are happening to does not really exist. There is really only consciousness, removed from any sense of it thinking "I am God" or anyone owning it

You must continue moving that meter stick back until all subject-object experience and relativity (not reality, don't misread me) dissolves. Ramana would say that your "I" sense, the feeling of I goes into and dissolves in the heart. Buddha would say you are extinguished, like a candle. 

How do you do this? You continue studying, reading insights into enlightenment, you study and read and learn and apply all that you can. Follow an established path, find a teacher. My own recent insights have emphasized the importance of developing the virtuous qualities that Buddhism extols - honestly it is an excellent path if you ever consider it

The journey ends when it has ended, so you will keep making discoveries and removing layers of the identity until you are finished. 

Finally, be mindful about where the 'fantastic' sort of thoughts can lead - if it is time to hang up the phone, hang up the phone, don't unnecessarily pursue the realizations via drugs if you don't have to (not sure how much/often you are using). The 'fantastic' thoughts can be a bit ungrounding if pursued too far or in the wrong context and that could mean extra suffering for you and for anyone else who would have to deal with the fallout. God realizations (especially with drugs, but not always) can lead to some wackiness, no worries, stay calm and stay safe

Thank you very much for your perspective, I'll continue watching satsangs

[Adilbek]

On 8/8/2024 at 2:19 AM, Dodo said:

@Adilbek can you clarify what you mean, what you refer to when you say God. And others too

it's hard to explain. God is just what you are. You've always know about this, you had numerous glimpses about it. You actually KNOW what I am talking about, you are just pretending that you don't or need an explanation.

[Adilbek]

On 8/8/2024 at 6:34 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Adilbek I read your trip report.

Yeah, you got a nice deep hit of God-Realization.

Yes, it is insanity.

Yes, everything and everyone is imaginary.

No, you're not crazy and nothing is wrong. This is just the wonderful nature of Consciousness. It's an Absolute Illusion.

Yes, it is difficult to integrate.

My best advice to you is to start seeing the beauty of illusion. Reality is an Absolute Illusion and you shouldn't want it any other way! Once you embrace that, things get delicious.

I recommend you continue doing low doses of mushrooms to help you develop a deep appreciation for illusion and Consciousness. You've already done the hardest part. Now you can reap the fruits. Don't turn your back on God so easily. Confront your remaining fears. Look God in the face.

Just don't take high doses.

Thank you for taking the time, Leo. This makes me feel good and relieved to know I am not crazy. I will continue with low doses, I've been thinking to get back to it again for a while. Time to reap the fruits!!!! 

[Adilbek]

On 8/8/2024 at 7:01 AM, Dodo said:

@Adilbek As a guy who never did psychedpsycs, except the mild mary jane, I got interested in this bit. 

"My ego is enormous. It is selfish and greedy. The fact that I needed a mushroom trip to see this means I wanted to feel special, regular ways of "getting to Truth" are not cool or special enough for me. All is an attempt to fill the hole inside. It's selfish and disregarding to my loved ones. It's all an attempt to add something to my collection of things that make me special, it's just greed and selfishness. It's disgusting. I remember that I said to myself "Why did you come to me again, go live your life. He won't stop until he kills himself". The ego is selfish it won't stop searching and digging until it destroys itself. But it won't find anything that isn't there already. It will just come to the same old place where I've always been. And alone, again. "

Does this mean that I DONT want enlightenment/ becoming God? 🤔 

Hey, so essentially the one who wants to get enlightened is doing it because it's a strategy to satisfy some human need and for some reason other avenues either didn't work or you don't want to put in the time. In my case I wanted to be special, so enlightenment was a great way to do it. The truth is that enlightenment/God is NOT human, it's pre-human if you want. There's something that's at a higher layer than human-ness. But as humans we only want the part that makes us better off as humans. We don't want to suddenly find out that I am actually not a human, I am God and  I am literally responsible for everything, I am alone in existence.

In my case though the ego has come back together right after and I wouldn't want it any other way. So one can say I am still in "search". That search will only be extinguished until there's a total end of denial of God-nature, at which point there's no reason to search. But before that happens the mind always wants to know "Maybe there's something more? maybe it wasn't it??". But in reality this doesn't interfere with the TRUTH in any way, illusion and Truth perfectly coexist, there's no need for illusion to disappear for Truth to manifest. I may be wrong, that's just my feeling of it. Enlightened teachers are at that total acceptance stage, like in the cycle of acceptance: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. Total acceptance is when you can't credibly deny that you are the fucking God anymore and the ego can't conjure up a good argument why you aren't IT. 

I haven't gotten to the stage of "reaping the fruit" yet. I had a glimpse of it at the end of the trip and some time after, the sense of absolute freedom and no need to prove anything to anyone because I am literally the daddy in this world. Freedom from concepts, ideas of any kind, freedom from "the pursuit of happiness". It passed but it rubbed off me over time through integration. 

This bit when I say "Why did you come to me again, go live your life. He won't stop until he kills himself". So the thing here is that as God you are "always" there. I put always in quote marks because always doesn't even begin to describe how ALWAYS and ALREADY it really is, it's literally just you and it's RIGHT NOW. So as God it's obvious to you always and at all times that you are God. So but when you come to yourself as an ego through shrooms, maybe self-inquiry, you are NOT AT ALL SURPRISED, there's no new knowledge that you learn from that. It's just the absolute banal and obvious knowledge that you've been here all this time, for eternity. You created everything, there's nothing that needs to be done. The whole world and life is just a PRANK you've been playing on yourself. It's LITERALLY a JOKE, you can't even imagine. So I had this feeling like "this ego came back to me again to remind me that I am God". So the ego is just your way to remind you that you are God from time to time, that's it. And it's literally just for the fuck of it, no reason at all whatsoever. 

But then you come out of it and you are playing as the ego again, with your problems and plans and dreams. And it's actually fucking amazing. No matter how 'horrible' your life is, it's a fucking ingenious game to keep you occupied and thrilled, and happy and all those emotions. Imagine you're a kid in a theme park. You came there as a "kid who came to the theme park", but after you get immersed in the games and play so much that you forgot that identity and now suddenly you're a pirate on a pirate ship, or you are swimming with the dolphins, or you're a Disney character etc. So enlightenment is you just suddenly remembering that you are that kid who came to the theme park, nothing more nothing less. Was that information new to you? No. The pursuit of enlightenment let's say in an ashram when you meditate for 40 years is just you being a killjoy at the theme park and trying to ignore the attractions in hopes that you'll remember that you're in a theme park. But in fact, that is also just an attraction called "Pursuit of Enlightement", it's still you pranking yourself that you somehow don't remember that you're that kid. Or in the case of Enlightenment, it's you pretending not to know that you're God. 

The depth of this realization is less than an inch deep. Because you know this already. You can't even become aware of it, because you literally know it already, you ARE IT. It's that weird feeling when you suddenly remember something as if it's been forgotten a long time ago and you smile a little bit - That's IT. 

Edited August 9, 2024 by Adilbek

[Adilbek]

On 8/8/2024 at 9:15 AM, Breakingthewall said:

In your trip you fall into the typical mistake of the psychonaut, confusing the ego with God. The one who is alone is the ego, which has remained firm all the time. If there had been a real dissolution, the total glory of the absence of limits would have been manifested. Everything you say that you are creating others, imagining them so as not to speak alone, are egoic projections. the creator god who imagines the reality that manifests in psychedelic trips is the ego. 

Could be said that the reality in imagining itself, but in a very different way, infinitely more complex than a single god dreaming. 

 

You could be right for sure. By no means I am saying my "realization" is final or very deep. But it was a huge mindfuck as is, to the point that all the other fluff kind of loses meaning

[Breakingthewall]

8 minutes ago, Adilbek said:

You could be right for sure. By no means I am saying my "realization" is final or very deep. But it was a huge mindfuck as is, to the point that all the other fluff kind of loses meaning

I told you because I had that realization many times and was quite awful, negative, then I did again and again, over all with 5meo, but with DMT, LSD and mushrooms too, until I totally dissolve myself many times.