Who is closer to self-Actualization - A bad boy - fuck boy or nice guy ? More details

[Past-Philosopher-562]

Hey everyone,

Do you think that a "bad boy" or "fuck boy" (often described as having traits of a "Chad") is closer to self-actualization compared to someone who doesn’t exhibit these traits? - than Let's say a nice boy - since he is more likely to care about self -actualization but has a lot of buttlnecks in his lower needs . -- What do you think are they missing from each other 

[OBEler]

A fuck Boy because he will be fucked by reality many times

[Evelyna]

Hmm I don't think that single trait can determine who would be closer to self - actualisations. 

Once you have decided that a particular choice of how to interpret an experience is correct, you have given birth to an opinion. From then on you will tend to channel all similar experiences through the same opinion, paying attention only to those parts of the experience that confirm your choice and ignoring the rest. Most of the big decisions you make about life occur in childhood, and they act as guidelines right through adulthood unless you change them. So the question here would be what needs to happen in order for the '' "bad boy" or "fuck boy" to make certain choices/changes towards the self actualisation. 

[quantumspiral]

The Transcendental Fuck Boy

 

[Thought Art]

Neither necessarily. Being a nice boy needn’t be a hindrance to self actualisation at all. Having the self awareness and even knowledge that self actualisation is possible gives that “nice boy” far more long term potential. Those bad boy fuck boy types may have some skills for attracting women or something. But in the long term the person who self actualizes and takes the path for the long term will win every time.

I also have a feeling that how we label someone hasn’t much weight when it comes to being a self actualized person. 

This is a ChatGPT response as to what a self actualizes  person is. 
 

A self-actualized person is someone who has realized their full potential and is living in a way that is authentic, purposeful, and fulfilling. The concept of self-actualization was popularized by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs theory, where it represents the highest level of psychological development. Here are some key characteristics and attributes of a self-actualized person:

### Key Characteristics of a Self-Actualized Person

1. **Self-Awareness**: They have a deep understanding of themselves, including their strengths, weaknesses, and true desires.
2. **Authenticity**: They live in accordance with their true self, values, and beliefs, rather than conforming to external expectations.
3. **Purpose and Meaning**: They pursue goals and activities that are meaningful to them and contribute to their sense of purpose.
4. **Creativity**: They are often creative and open to new experiences, finding innovative solutions to problems and expressing themselves uniquely.
5. **Peak Experiences**: They frequently have moments of intense joy, creativity, and fulfillment, often referred to as "peak experiences."
6. **Autonomy**: They are independent and self-reliant, making decisions based on their own judgment rather than seeking approval from others.
7. **Realism**: They have a realistic perception of themselves, others, and the world, accepting imperfections and working constructively within constraints.
8. **Empathy and Compassion**: They have a deep sense of empathy and compassion for others, often engaging in acts of kindness and altruism.
9. **Continued Growth**: They are committed to lifelong learning and personal growth, constantly striving to improve and evolve.
10. **Strong Relationships**: They form deep, meaningful relationships with others, based on mutual respect and genuine connection.
11. **Spontaneity**: They are able to be spontaneous and flexible, adapting to new situations with ease and maintaining a sense of playfulness.

### Practical Application
Self-actualization is not a static state but an ongoing process of becoming the best version of oneself. It involves continuous self-reflection, personal growth, and striving to align one's actions with their true values and goals.

Edited July 5, 2024 by Thought Art

[Zigzag Idiot]

To everyone on this thread. Thank you for your opinions and expressions. I wish you well.

If you're in a highly stressful or hostile environment with someone in your face screaming, the behavior you exhibit is probably going to be different than it would be in a calm, peaceful environment. The capacity for self-deception in humans is awesome. We can be so idealistic and hooked into our self image in so many subtle ways. To divide oneself into a higher and a lower nature immediately divides us against ourself/selves,, ,however you want to frame this perspective.

We have our instinctual drives that vary among different endocrine types. Humans are oversexed. Some more than others. Men have on average 10 times the amount of testosterone than women have.  (Adrenal types ; mesomorphs) are way more physically active than sedate types like those heavily influenced by the (parathyroid,, endomorphs,,, those who are more fleshy). Apart from genetic influences are those of conditioning which influences the personality/ego of the individual. To frame an ideal of what constitutes a person who is interested in actualizing puts a lot of constriction on the subject immediately. But we do it anyway. We need a map of sorts. Thats normal. Phases and chapters of development. We go through times of throwing away our maps and burning our boats. Maybe we decide to lose all discipline concerning diet or reading. What the hell. I can't do all this stuff at one time simultaneously. Quite often I probably appear to be someone who is extremely irresponsible.

What is your degree of Being? Do you observe that your degree of Being or Presence, fluctuates in the course of a day. No one stays the same. Expressed hyperbolically- They become a different person every 5 minutes. Rome falls nine times an hour,,, 

The following is from the I CHING Oracle of the Cosmic Way

The idea of attaining peace, as presented by the collective ego, involves retreating from the everyday world, spending hours in contemplation or meditation, and engaging in ascetic practices. Such efforts come from spiritual ambition, which possesses a person once he has adopted the flattering self-image of "being spiritual," or "becoming a superior man. "

Berlow is a link to nine separate excerpts concerning actualization by A.H. Almaas

 Ridhwan (diamondapproach.org)https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/actualization

[Basman]

Depends on how you define fuck boy or nice guy. If a fuck boy is someone who's extroverted but immature and a nice guy is someone who is insecure and doesn't know how to get what they want directly, then I'll give fuck boys the edge just because they are exposed to more experience generally and most fuck boys will eventually mature.

Ideally, men should mature and become resourceful leaders regardless if they are a fuck boy or a nice guy. You'll need different solutions depending on your problems, like if you struggle getting laid because you lack confidence.

[bambi]

Trans are clearly the closest theyve integrated both femine and masculine sides

[Thought Art]

1 hour ago, bambi said:

Trans are clearly the closest theyve integrated both femine and masculine sides

No, not necessarily. 
 

A Cis Genered man, can also do that in a healthy way. 
 

Someone who is trans may actually be denying heavily, heavily to the extent of changing their physical body one of their sides.

[Adrian colby]

@Thought Art 

I would second that. Being one of those myself, in the beginning it was all about irradicating anything that didn’t fit the expectation of the male identity in order to conform and be accepted as that so the feminine principle was dismissed entirely. 

those expectations, if not met ( what society deems to be a man), and it goes for congruent men as well, leaves a person feeling worthless, inadequate and defeated. 

going through awakenings and realising the conceptual nature of most of the labels we call ourselves has led to the slow reintegration of the feminine. It’s understood to be an interactive energy principle and nothing to do with physical sex and we all have both energies/principles within us. We also biologically have both within us, it’s just it physically expresses as one form over another where it’s rudimentary structure is identical in all people. Some are congruent one way, others aren’t like myself. 

 

coming to terms with true masculinity had nothing to do with meeting expectations or conforming to a normalised idea. In the end it was about developing confidence and healing through self love including integrating the healthy balance of the feminine. 

[Ramanujan]

it depends on how much extroverted sensing you have. a bad boy have a lot of extroverted sensing. if the nice guy have a lot of Se ( extraverted sensing ) then is closer to self actulization