does sleeping with the gf or wife of a friend or a relative puts you out of integrity

[Yousif]

does sleeping with someone’s gf or even wife puts you out of integrity??

this is vague so let’s put it in some context

 

does sleeping with the gf or wife of a friend or a relative puts you out of integrity ??? And let’s say that she’s the one initiating without her partner knowing, 

After all if she’s initiating it with you, she might be doing it with others. What do you think?

Edited April 1 by Yousif

[Yimpa]

It depends on what your values are. Is this behavior out of alignment with your top values? 

[Yousif]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

It depends on what your values are. Is this behavior out of alignment with your top values? 

The value in question is integrity, in a sense she/he is the one going behind their partners back, so does that puts YOU out of integrity?

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, Yousif said:

The value in question is integrity, in a sense she/he is the one going behind their partners back, so does that puts YOU out of integrity?

Then I would reference your other top values as well and not just focus on one of them.

[Yousif]

3 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Then I would reference your other top values as well and not just focus on one of them.

Do you think it puts you out of integrity based on your top values?

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Yousif said:

Do you think it puts you out of integrity based on your top values?

This is a complex one. I am currently in a relationship where I am open to polygamy, but my partner wants monogamy.

Two of my values are conscious communication and clarity. I would rather talk to my partner first before I even consider doing such an act. Doing so without discussing it with them first would go against my values.

[Yousif]

Here’s another example, that relative or friend is already secretly cheating on his gf or his wife, she doesn’t know, but she seduces me into sleeping with her, without him knowing, does that put my out of being a person of integrity and truth?? After all I’m not obligated not to since I never promised anyone that I wouldn’t sleep with their partner.

[Yousif]

13 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

This is a complex one. I am currently in a relationship where I am open to polygamy, but my partner wants monogamy.

Two of my values are conscious communication and clarity. I would rather talk to my partner first before I even consider doing such an act. Doing so without discussing it with them first would go against my values.

I’m asking if your partner tried to sleep with me and I agree, does that make me the bad guy? Does it put me out of being a person of integrity and truth?

and lets say you’re the type of person that wants a monogamy.

Edited April 1 by Yousif

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Yousif said:

I’m asking if your partner tried to sleep with me and I agree, does that make me the bad guy? Does it put me out of being a person of integrity and truth?

My partner would likely not even entertain that in the first place.

[Yousif]

Just now, Yimpa said:

My partner would likely not even entertain that in the first place.

For the sake of this inquiry let’s say he/she does.

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, Yousif said:

For the sake of this inquiry let’s say he/she does.

I cannot decide for you if it puts you out of integrity. Only you can. In this scenario, I would forgive you and and my partner for the misunderstanding and confusion. We all make childish mistakes in the early stages of exploring our sexuality. 

[Yousif]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

I cannot decide for you if it puts you out of integrity. Only you can. In this scenario, I would forgive you and and my partner for the misunderstanding and confusion. We all make childish mistakes in the early stages of exploring our sexuality. 

We can reverse the roles and say you slept with my partner without me knowing to make it easier, does that really put you out of your integrity, even tho you didn’t do it to rub it in my face or to hurt me in anyway, I don’t need to forgive you because what did you do? You’re not the one that said you wouldn’t cheat and that you would commit, my partner did, unless you raped her.

[Heaven]

I always wanted to sleep with my best friend’s mom. Eventually I didn’t do it. I am not sure if that counts.

[Hojo]

That's up to you. If you do it blame God you are a drone of God and make your morality up. I think you are fine God gives you things if you aren't initiating you are just helping God out with what it wants. You have no commitments. Any commitments of others are their own and you cant make up that they have any cause you dont know what is happening in their lives.

Edited April 2 by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

Your answer is in the question.

[Consept]

Assuming you see yourself as someone with integrity - if you do anything that you know your friend wouldn't be happy with, without asking, that would reveal you to be someone without integrity. Even if you took my car for a drive and brought it back without asking me I would look at you as someone I can't trust, or you did that to another friend and I heard about it I would feel the same. 

So with a wife or gf that's 100x worse, your friend would obviously not be happy and the only reason you wouldn't tell him is because you know there would be a fallout, so you want to maintain the illusion that you have integrity. Your question reads more like how can I justify sleeping with my friends gf. 

Where there are more grey lines are things like, 'is it OK to date a friend or relatives ex?' 

[Applegarden8]

Yes, but not if you are a friend of Destiny.

[Yousif]

11 hours ago, Heaven said:

I always wanted to sleep with my best friend’s mom. Eventually I didn’t do it. I am not sure if that counts.

There is certainly a feeling of like you’re betraying your best friend, but at the same time if she’s the one initiating, if it’s not gonna be you, it might be some other friend 

 

this case is different also, because this most likely will ruin your friendship, in my case what if that other person partner is someone you don’t really care about? Like their feelings, and you’re not doing it to hurt them, but their partner asked you to sleep with them, why should you refuse? Unless you’re scared of what they might do you might not, but other than that you’re not really obligated not to and I don’t feel like it violates my integrity, it might violate their partners integrity though if they’re supposed to be in a monogamous relationship

 

I hold all these ideas lightly, I’m still not really sure if it puts me out of integrity or not, so here I am asking y’all for your opinions.

[Yousif]

10 hours ago, Hojo said:

That's up to you. If you do it blame God you are a drone of God and make your morality up. I think you are fine God gives you things if you aren't initiating you are just helping God out with what it wants. You have no commitments. Any commitments of others are their own and you cant make up that they have any cause you dont know what is happening in their lives.

So you don’t think it puts you out of integrity if you sleep with someone else’s partner simply because you’re not the one in a commitment, but they are? 

[Yousif]

8 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your answer is in the question.

Then there’s no point in me asking.