Search the Community

As good points have already been mentioned I would like to add this: Instead of focusing on dealing with anger. Cultivate charity, love and absolute toleration. This is easy to say, now that you have someone that triggers you on a daily or even moment to moment basis. I had some young arrogant co-worker/trainees assholes that went on my nerves at a building site. Well they were on the nerves of everyone, they had to just laugh and comment on everything. So one day when I arrived they started their shit right away, my intuition came into play, so I went up to them and hugged them. That was a 90 degree turning point in my brain, guided by the heart. They got completely bamboozled in the that moment. Then we were friendly to each other thereafter until they left. Now I am not saying to go and hug your brother. Each situation, relationship and individuality is unique. Let intuition guide you if you need to take action. Your tolerance seems to be good if you are not reacting physically. As for charity, in my case it was not by giving a person candy. I have a female co-worker who talked a lot about herself, "jokingly" remarked how great she was, her ego got bloated so much that when she "jokingly" remarked something hurtful to me, nothing in her mind seemed to indicate that she did anything wrong. I felt/intuited what she wanted and I translate it as praise/admiration, although being loved is what she wants to be underneath, but praise/admiration is the lense she goes with as to associate it with love (or lack of love or whatever). It is impossible for me to do anything in her presence as I am almost boiling at that moment. So I start small, I am home and I go on my knees and bow, and have a picture in my mind of her and the memory of what I felt that she wants (praise/admiration), and I give it to her in my mind, it goes something like this: " No don't joke about how good you are, you are more than that, you are a highest angel in incarnate form, I praise and know and see you as the omnipotent source of divine infinite chalice of eternal wisdom and beauty" And " yes, I am a man with a small pp that is unworthy being in a presence of such a gracious supreme goddess, how lucky I am to be in the presence radiant golden fountain of Truth, the pointers casted my way are undeniably completely on point and are Truth of the highest degree, my imbecility wants to fight the Truth that you are so please forgive me oh highest Alaya that my pp is so small, my pp is so small that every second spent with you is worth more than infinite amount of money and the eternal Bliss of nirvana combined". After this practice, my projections are reduced, I see with more clarity that it is just a person. There is no much need to categorize this person as a narcissist or whatever to defend myself or to prove a point. Not saying you should do what I do. Try to feel into your own intuition and guidance. Sometimes even just giving something like candy, as a charitable action, to the person i am angry at is counterintuitive enough to bring about change in the brain circuit system. Now something like this "worship, praise" above can be done with jealousy, here is an example at 47 minute mark: Edit: Now I do not know you and the situation you are in. I am just putting in info on how I dealt with anger in general. This "info" or "advice" might not fitting for you at your current situation. I was given advice by my therapist a decade ago to try to go to a café or Cinema with my brother, I awestruck, didn't she understand/hear what I said to her? How stupid can someone be? So I walked home and I saw my brother putting gasoline on the doghouse and putting it on fire, the police came and arrested him. Not long after that I stopped seeing this therapist and I am happy that I did so. Now he is married, lives in another country and tries to quit alcohol. He has now lifted himself up to meeting point where we both can have a conversation. Sometimes it is the "other" person that needs to change and it takes time.

Happiness is a certain level of Intensity within a person that is positive for them, its the basic Quality to someone's life, compared to feeling Miserable and in Suffering of some sort.. Physically it is proven that when You are Happy, Your chemistry changes and the body is more healthy as is Your mind, the opposite is true when Your depressed, anxious, or angry/bitter about life... Peace imo is on a lower level of intensity than Happiness, Bliss is higher, Ecstasy is even higher than Bliss on the intensity scale but with Ecstasy You can't function within a Society, you won't care, with Bliss You still care about others, what is going on around You and Society as a whole...

Just to chime in on the nature of the Absolute Infinite: no need to debate, given Leo’s already made it clear what the Absolute Infinite is, not only in videos dedicated to this thematically, but of course all his spiritual/ metaphysical videos about reality make it crystal clear: it is absolutely everything, including exactly this me, and you, and there is only the one (me or you) and there is everything too (contradiction is the nature of understanding being, for pure being is pure self-reference), and that includes the always already absent accompaniment of Absolute Apeiron, for that is pure and radical nothingness. How could there be anything else? Hedwig Conrad-Martius emphasizes that what is the real religious-consciousness “skandalon” is that there is anything at all, given the overwhelming overflowingness of Yes! Absolutely Applicable Affirmation, Pure Primary Positivity! Good without an opposite—that’s Plato’s “the Good,” highest God etc., the “beyond of being” (epikenia tes ousias) in the positive of all-inclusive sense. Is there room for “debate” or even dialectical positioning in such a sea of positivity? Yes! Of course there is! Is there room for a big ‘ol “No!?” Yes! Is it a sea of Nos? Yes! Why the fuck not? I can literally do absolutely anything, in finite reality and in infinite intelligence and infinite imagination, in the Godhead: where else is anything but in the Godhead? My own integration work includes reading the Srimad Bhagavatam not as a Hare Krishna devotee, not yet and maybe never, but because the white light of the “whiteout” experience on 5/ Bufo is understood by the ISKCON (“God-Realization,” “God-Consciousness”) crowd as belonging to the lower wrung of the “impersonalists” who see the effulgence of bliss as ultimate reality, rather than the divine super-mundane happenings of Lord Krishna as the Supreme Truth. That all works for me. I saw Leo mention ISKCON in a blog post or forum response somewhere, suggesting it’s cultish like most of religion, but I contend that everything can be recontextualized (and Leo too, and Leo’s expressed opinions too) to become conducive to Godhood (ACTUALIZATION, realization, consciousness, revelation, etc.). Happy Krishna appearance day, btw! I started the second Canto today, after midnight coincidentally (no such thing!).

Hey Brother. You are definitely right from your perspective. However, I was suicidal and try to suicide couple times. Till I met with @Nahm Back and forth we had hundreds of conversations and with all his sayings, i mixed with all other teachings from different teacher and it made sense. Moreover, top of that I had so much suffering in my so called personal life. Then I totally surrender and died anyway 😂 😂 😂 which is more difficult then suicide, which is quick death. Surrendering is complete burning while breathing. 😂 😂 So now, Being, therefore love, sharing, caring, crying, hugging and bliss is inevitable. Enlightenment is the best service that one can do for humanity. Because, there is no i there, therefore no conflict, expectations, divisions etc... Just saying.

When the mind is utterly still, life begins to flow on its own, like a river finding the ocean without a map. No effort, no controller, no integration is needed. Yes, the mind still exists as a tool, but there is no “you” sitting at the center trying to weave it all together. You are simply the moment itself, the song, the dance, the breeze, the heartbeat. In that flow, there is only bliss and love without boundaries.

"SPRING SUICIDE" Dosage: 75-150ug Height/weight: 6'1, 140lbs Setting: Public Beach Time: 8:00pm Mindset: Calm. Excited. No current major life events. Hopeful. A deep sense that today is the "right" day Intention: Wanting change, no matter it's form This would be my first time trying any psychedelic. I had decided on this day approximately a week in advance. One of the reasons I chose this day was because the full moon was supposed to come out that night. I guess I thought it would make it more special. In the past, I had read extensively about LSD, many trip reports, and understood its safety parameters, typical/atypical effects, and potentially significant risks--including brain damage and losing grip with reality. I've read about nonduality, panpsychism, and the limits of rationality in the past-- but on that particular day, much of that knowledge was not on the forefront of my mind. The day itself started off fairly normal; I had gone about my duties calmly and slowly--with intention. I don't know why, but I had skipped breakfast that day, which was unusual for me. For lunch (12:00pm) I went to the grocery store and bought myself a familiar meal I've eaten throughout the years—one that brings me comfort: Baked chicken thighs with fried rice. I slowly and deliberately enjoyed every bite of it in the peaceful solitude of my room. I remember watching Squid Game Season 2 while I was eating. For those familiar with trips—this may have been a bad idea, the violence of that series is not something I potentially needed in my headspace. I remember a song played during the episode, it was a cover of the Frank Sinatra song, "Fly Me to the Moon". I thought that was funny. I took a relaxing, untimed nap after my meal. Waking up, I felt amazingly refreshed and strong. Let us now skip to the evening time. At 7pm, I placed the ziplock bag containing the blotted paper LSD tabs in my pocket and set out on my walk. The walk to the beach was a little less than 1 hour, and I had checked that the sunset was happening around 7:50. Perfect. The weather was calm, clouds and deep blue skies with warm temperate air. It was spring! The walk itself was tranquil and memorable. My neighborhood had such colorful flora blooming in full glory that month. I walked with a slight smile. **When I finally arrived at the beach, I selected an isolated spot near the shore and on the rocks-- away from people. I wanted to be as alone as possible. I sat comfortably, and watched the sun start its descent. At 8pm I placed one of the tabs sublingually. I waited. The sky was starting to become hazy. Soon some stars emerged. Then, at about 8:30pm I noticed something. The waves in the distance were undulating, rippling in an impossible fashion. They started to ripple heavily into the air, as if the entire body of water was boiling and slowly evaporating into the air. This effect got closer and closer until it reached the waves closest to me. I was shocked. My eyes widened in amazement. I looked up at the clouds, they seemed normal. I looked away at the now darkening sky. It started to feel as if I was looking at it for the first time in my life. When I looked back at the clouds, their shape had completely changed from before! It had only been a few seconds since I last looked at them. It was, sort of funny. I attempted to reproduce the effect and looked away and then back at the clouds. It happened again! It was a slight distortion of the shape, nothing dramatic. But all of this felt as if the clouds were playing a big game of peek-a-boo, and I was the baby. It was kind of, hilarious... I started to chuckle. And then I started to laugh. I couldn't tell you why it was so funny. I started to laugh harder and harder. I couldn't stop. It was uncontrollable. I don't know if I've ever let out such deep, guttural laughs in my entire life. I felt like the Joker character, when only he's privy to a certain joke. But what the hell was the joke here? I suppose the clouds and I were just playing—like children. I continued crying and howling in laughter for almost 30min, attempting to suppress it in the in-between moments—but to no avail. Next, I gawked at the stars. One particular group/constellation stood out to me. After looking it up later on, I believe now that it was the Big Dipper. The stars Dubhe, Megrez, Phecda, and Merak stared back at me with an unimaginable and glaring intensity. Have they always been that bright? I could feel them looking, observing me with wide eyes. They gazed with a fierce, hot-blooded quality about them. It was almost terrifying, but impossible to look away. It was like this for a few moments. Then, just then, at that moment, they spoke something to me. Not in words, no, they spoke despite anatomy. Without vocals, sounds, or a chance of misunderstanding. At first, I didn't understand what was said. And then, horrifyingly, I do. Tears streamed down my cheeks, replacing the joyous ones from before. Sadness, with a staggering depth of which I didn't know was possible, enveloped me completely. I sniffled silently at first. The shape of the stars began to slightly melt. A few moments later I started to sob. I cried and cried until I was a wailing mess. I roared out sounds from deep within my diaphragm, sounds I didn't know I was even capable of producing. The stars now looked like wax dripping from a candle. They were crying too. They cried alongside me, with me, and for me. But why? I turned my sniveling head and soon heard the trees, grass, waves, clouds...everything, starting to cry. Weeping the saddest song I have ever heard in my life. It made me cry even harder. We were all in unison now. Like a chorus of melancholy. But why? What were we crying about? I continued to weep until I was keeled over and shaking; I wanted to ball up into a fetal position to feel safe. As I looked around, there was something there... I detected this presence. It was scary at first, but soon became comforting, as if to say, "it's ok, you're ok". I felt "myself" slip away in sadness as the universe and I continued to cry together. The process continues to occur inexorably. Around maybe 30-40 more minutes of this and it finally dawned on me what was happening. I understood. Of course, we were, all of us, mourning. Mourning a death. The death of "me". No, not my body. That was still intact. My heart was still beating. It was the death of me. The identity, the problems, the stories, the lies, the truths, the ugliness, the beauty, the memories, all of it, was dying. All of it was being burned into ashes and thrown into the wind. I found no reason to resist. I surrendered. On April 12, 2025, I died. As I calmed down, I could sense "my" mind working faster than ever before. Allowing it to happen, the lethal realization of before settled into me. I stood up, as if born again. I understood the "joke" the clouds were babbling about earlier. It was my life. A grand joke in its entirety, until now... and today, the punchline was grasped. Nothing could be funnier. I let out a contorted chuckle. I could now view myself from multiple perspectives. The vantage point of the stars was now mine. Same with the trees. "Nature" was, in every essence, me. I looked down at the grass, and I could see myself! As if looking from behind the mirror. I walked and the grass beckoned for me to touch with my bare feet. I "spoke", "maybe next time!". The grass laughed. I heard the waves crashing against the dock and it called to me. I walked towards it and reached the edge. Looking above the water, the night sky was so brilliant now. I was thankful for a clear night. I did a 180, turned around and then saw it. The full moon, teased just slightly above the tree lines of my neighborhood. My jaw almost hit the floor as I beheld it. Such absolute beauty! I knew it was on the rise and I wanted all of it. I walked toward the local hot dog store and called an Uber. I knew I was in no condition to undertake the hour walk back home. I waited. My mind grasped the trees. They whispered jokes. I snickered and chuckled like a madman. The stars, clouds, grass, and trees all claimed that they were always here! That it was always like this. That I just never noticed them They asked if I would kindly return one day. I promised that I would. I probably looked insane to an outside observer. I exuded disorder. Finally, when the driver arrived, I entered after asking the name, and we took the drive to my address. We made some small talk. I tried to behave and keep repressed the emotions that were rising inside me. I remember the driver commented on the moon. I let out a contorted chuckle. After we reached my home, I thanked him and wished him a good night. As I walked up the driveway to my stairs, I could feel something, this energy rising inside me, I knew it would surface soon. I. HAD. TO. GET. IN. MY. ROOM. I opened the door to my house and, unfortunately, my roommates stood there, one in the living room, the other close to the kitchen. I will refer to them as (not real names) Abe (he/him) and Zoey (she/her). I had told Zoey about my intention to use LSD that day, but the only thing I wanted at that moment was solitude. Abe: "Hey bud" Zoey: "Get any cool visuals!?" Me: "Oh fuck". Abe: "Alright, let's get you grounded" Zoey: "Nope" I left immediately. I walked outside for a bit, unable to take my eyes off the moon. It was SEXY. That was the only appropriate word. I wanted to fuck its brains out. Like my survival depended on it. I needed it. But I also wanted to make love to it slowly... That energy inside me threatened to let itself out. I knew I wouldn't last long now. I decided to wait outside in the backyard until my roommates left the living room because I didn't want them, or anyone for that matter, to see me like this. The backyard we had was large. I stepped into its clearing and sat under the trees and flowers. The tree branches were lit by yellow wire-lights set by our neighbor. It looked so beautiful. As I sat there, the fallen leaves on the floor started to move and shift their shape. They matched my breathing. Every breath I took in, was an inhalation mirrored by them. I exhaled. The shapes of the leaves twisted and bent into serpents. Luminous, bright serpents, about 1 foot long, now slithered toward me. I welcomed them. They appreciated my permission, wrapped around my legs and slowly made their way to my torso, arms, then head. They were divine. I could hear them next to my ear, whispering secrets which seemed to "reprogram" my neurology. My thoughts raced. My breath quickened. I could feel my pupils dilate to their maximum capacity. I was becoming inhuman. I felt like a painting or a piece of art. I never felt so beautiful. Not in a vain sort of way, I just felt no shame in that moment. I could have been naked and it wouldn't have mattered. Then, I remembered my objective. I stood up and started walking. I made my way to the driveway again and caught sight of the moon. It was comically large now. I've never seen such intense glow. It was almost too much. My heart beat faster. I was completely seduced. I squirmed at the sight of it. I tried to calm myself. It screamed for me to come. The energy inside of me was rising up my spinal column...I didn't time this correctly, did I? I knew I had to go into my room and be in privacy. But I decided to wait out a little longer outside. I went to the local park next. Luckily nobody was there. I stood on the grass, breathed deep and sighed. There was one dim white streetlight, but everything else was very dark otherwise. However, the trees and the grass in the park were soaring with vibrant green. It was stunning. I wanted to sink, to be fully gone and be one of them. The beauty was too much for me. Barely able to stand anymore, I dropped to my knees. My palms found themselves placed on the grass. Both hands start to meld and dissolve into the earth. I was frozen. I let it happen. I didn't want to move. And the moon watched all of this. The energy rose higher up my spinal column. "I. MUST. GO" I power walked back to my house. As someone who gets cold very easily, I could feel my body perceive the outside air as too cold, but the energy inside of me burned with such heat that it didn't matter. As I walked, I exclaimed every couple of seconds, "Ah I get it! Hahaha, I get it now!" "Oh, you sexy thing", I kissed the moon goodbye, she winked back. I opened the house door and quietly crept downstairs to my room and locked my door, hoping not to disturb anyone. FINALLY. My light was on. It NEEDED to be turned off. My clothes were on. They NEEDED to be stripped off. I felt the rush of that "first time" feeling when you are about to have sex with someone you've been having intense feelings for (if one would be so lucky as to experience this). I turned on my corner fan to drown out any possible noises I may make. My bed is essentially a sleeping bag and mattress on my ground carpet. I crawled into a ball on the far corner of it, naked as the day I was born, and felt safe. There was no turning back now. My mouth dropped open from heavy breathing. Despite the cold, I started to sweat. My heart was pounding faster and louder. My brain was on fire. My spine burned from the rising. I perceived that this may get violent. I felt near apoplexy. I was blind, yet my vision was supernatural in its clarity and realness. I hallucinate. Scenes of psychic divinity stretching onward into geometric patterns of unwinding infinite complexity. I grasped the wholeness of it. The room was not my room anymore. It was alive, breathing deep alongside me. Everything inanimate was animate. Everything "other" was me. We were intertwined, inseparable, and as one--similar to the nature I perceived outside.Then, a thought occurred for a fraction of a nanosecond, "WAIT...ALL OF IT?"..."ALL OF IT!" I became extremely lucid, then broke through a threshold. Human larynx and language limited me now. There was only one word I couldn't help but utter after that. "GOD" Coiled and wrapped around my cervical vertebrae, the "energy" vibrated, then leapt, and finally latched onto my brain, proceeding to penetrate my very soul. My eyes rolled up and back. I went limp. My body convulsed and shook. My mouth gasped at air. My legs started to shake. ORGASM. As I exhaled, every few minutes, I moaned out softly, "OH..MY...G-O....G-OD..GOD". I dared to scream until the neighbors called the police. "OHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDD!" There were earthquakes all over my body. Every cell of my body pulsed, achieving orgasm simultaneously. I writhed uncontrollably, violently. My abdominal muscles contracted and went into spasms. At long last, I penetrated the moon, a conjured substitute for the universe, and each micro and macroscopic part of my soul ejaculated. And yet I was being penetrated and having a double orgasm at the same time. How paradoxical. How appropriate. I understood the phrase "mind-fuck". My body was drenched in sweat. I heaved and gasped hard to keep up. This lasted for the next 7 hours, with each orgasm pushing further and further, crashing through me like waves on a shore-- to ever increasing heights of bliss. I felt love. It traced my form like soft fingers. It felt like that once in a lifetime kind of love. That first reciprocated love. To love completely, and be loved unconditionally in return. Everlasting. Fireworks. I understood the Hindu word, "ananda". For brief moments, my normal perception returned. Brief respite, but pained frenzy. My tongue drooled. Every fiber of my muscles twitched in post-orgasm. It was almost too much to bear anymore. How can something be THAT pleasurable? Terror and hysterical laughter at the thought...Then back to a perpetual explosion of fucking and being fucked. I achieved critical mass. I became an infinite dragon. Clad in turquoise armor, completely dilated black eyes, and possessing breath of creation and destruction; but granting immortality unto itself. A humming echo returned, as if always there, but remembered only now, like a triggered memory. My mind raced further-further back. The story of my life? Where was I from? Really, truly, from? A womb? But what about the source? Infinite regress. My vagina stretched wide as I screamed. A distant memory. I then gave birth. To a child—myself. MOTHER AND EARTH = I. The solar system, galaxy, clusters, void...I expanded further and further to include everything. Everything that has, is, and will ever exist. I was all and thus was the same for every "other". But we can go even further beyond. I willfully [hallucinated] existence. Alternate timelines—infinite possibilities and universes. Infinite variations in the laws of math, physics, chemistry, biology. If it is imaginable, it exists, somewhere, sometime, someplace. Minutes passed. I could hear the morning birds. As I creaked open my eyes, I was still on the mattress, hands clenching my hair. My sheets soaked in sweat. My throat was raw, probably from the screaming. I sat up and then stood. It was around 8am. The trip had lasted approximately 12 hours. A wave of tiredness came over me. I'd been awake all night. I looked at my hands. They looked foreign. Alien. Then came slow revelation. "I" understood now the mechanism of my thinking. I knew precisely how understanding happened and how it is recursive. "Self-aware" and "awake" are words that found new meaning. I felt more "sober" than I had ever been. I could see now how my mind operated. With almost every reaction to "reality" being a process born of identity and trauma. I saw the mental connections forming, interacting, and how every person is like this. We are the same. Seeking to love and be loved. Our survival depends on it. I was overwhelmed by all this new input. It was days and weeks before I controlled this new flood of filtering; underpinning sex, aggression, self-preservation, all the while disguised as "rational thoughts". I recognized how much of this is the cause of my mood, my motive-- behind every micro-action or decision. My memory and ability for pattern recognition felt easier and faster. Put simply, I felt more "aware" than before. I could see so clearly now that societal constructs, socialization, and socializing was-- low-- and at times--- high-stakes, survival. Survival of ideology, identity, goals, hopes, dreams, and stories we tell ourselves. These were necessary. A perfect balance of life. It was perfect. I do not claim to know the entirety of absolute truth/nature of the universe or that I am now all knowing. After contemplating, many questions still linger: The "perfect balance" of life is perfect and undoubtedly has meaning, but what is the meaning behind it? I do sense that what I grasped was merely one facet of a larger truth. This truth, I intuit, has infinite facets. Grasping them all in a lifetime is [impossible], but exploration/curiosity does drive me to seek and grasp further. Continued exploration of psychedelics [more responsibly next time] is needed. But for now, gratitude filled my cup. I had more to give. -Thank you for reading

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed—and gazed—but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought: For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils.

I can’t know if my problems are due to ego because I don’t know if they would be there if my ego was fully dissolved. But it does seem to me like my problems are due to ego, the self reacting to a disconnect within the self/lack of self Self dissolution is self dissolution, it means what it says. My self almost completely disappeared: and it hasn’t came back to normal for over two years. It feels empty because there’s a lack of a sense of “something”. The appearance lacks significant substance. My skull feels hollow like I’m barely there, same with other people. I used to feel bliss when my self got thinner: but it was a temporary bliss. Ultimately it led me to an almost empty state. You can’t really compare me to Ramana because he reached full enlightenment and I’ve never been there.

@theleelajoker my definition of awake is deeply knowing what's going on right here right now on an existential level. With that I don't mean of course how much bliss you have. Just knowing what's true right now. It's a deep recognition. It's way more than being in the now no last no future etc. Way more deeper.

@Ishanga @theleelajoker I use drastically words to show you how far away your understanding from awakening really is. It's not even drastically enough because you still don't get it. Yes I am not total awake but pretty much on another level. How I know that? Because I was on your level too, before I used psychedelics. Psychedelics kicked me out of low level spirituality. Yoga could do that too. But it was psychedelics in my case. No awakening is not about bliss. Bliss comes as a side effect or not at all. Stay natural but you will probably not get far if you are not talented. Yes psychedelic experiences fade away and you get back to almost normal but you experienced states of consciousness way deeper than you can imagine and you will not forget that deep inside you. It's like saying I don't want to visit the moon,why? it's just a temporary fading experience and after visiting the moon I am back on earth. The truth is, you will be forever changed if your consciousness level is intelligent enough. By the way I am not telling here that psychedelics are better than natural practices. It's just that some "naturals" here who are just blind and ignorant dismiss the value psychedelics can offer.

Discern for yourself what's realistic spirituality and what's fantasy . There are versions of spirituality which teach that happiness is unconditional or the very nature of being itself is happiness or bliss ..I find it hard to make sense of this if we test it against the actual world ..because obviously you can't be happy if you are starving or bleeding to death or swallowing sharp glass pieces in your throat... But some spiritual teachings say that God is nothingness .and that's true .if God is absolute and unchanging and eternal..then nothingness meets this criteria.

To be "Awake" means, You go thru Life, in this Body/Mind with this Karmic makeup, and go Untouched! Your totally involved with what is happening Now, because NOW is the most important moment of Your Life, because it is the only Moment of Your Life.. Everything else is either Memory or Imagination, which do not Exist in reality.. So once You realize this basic concept Experientially, then Suffering is not possible, Peace or Bliss is natural for You now Experientially, and if that is in place, no matter what is happening, You go untouched by it. You still feel pain, physical or emotional, but it doesn't rule You.. Someone close to You dies, You don't Miss them, but feel Blessed to have had them in Your Life, once You go down the Missing road Your done for Spiritually, but Yes you may feel temporary pain mostly for them if they passed on too early in life..

İt is just inside and outside is silent. And in that silence, bliss and effortlessness arises. Being is Absolute. Even realization of being unlimited nature is Being itself. Because, it is absolute.

I have a scale, 0-10, 0 is Peace, 10 is Ecstasy, Bliss is 9, Bliss can be said to be the feeling of Infinite Love or God.. All of this is just a matter of Intensity of Experience.. Below 0 is Depression, Anger, Bitterness, Anxiety, Stress... One of not even capable of Spiritual Pursuits if they are below 0 on the scale, it very very hard to go from a Suffering state to an Enlightened State, its possible but very hard.. So the first step is to get to 0, which means Your Peaceful naturally, no need for outside stimuli to make You Peaceful or Happy/Joyful, get to that point and I think everything else will happen allot more naturally and smoothly!

I just watched a very interesting video on the forum posted by Integration Journey with Rupert Spira speaking on conscious relationships. Really nice video. When it comes to what I'm about to say here, I'd rather speak on it here rather than taint someone's thread with non-dual talk (hate the term non-dual but I use it for clarity and expression), especially if the thread isn't about that. When it comes to relationships with other, sexual/intimate relationships, we seek them out and yearn for them as a sign of unity and wanting to feel the oneness that we are. Afterall, love is the absence of separation so if we feel separate, it's only natural that that energy would want to engage in activities that would make it feel whole again. Doesn't work because it's not really separate but it's a nice try and well worth it if the relationship turns out to be a flourishing one and one of love, understanding and compassion. Nothing can truly take the place of what is already which is no separation. What he's really explaining in that video, is because there's no one really in these bodies, the sense of self (ego) is more likely to taint that relationship and turn it into a needy one, one of 'seeking for' and now nature cannot really do it's thing without the seeming interruption of the natural flow of the essence of oneness. It's not really but only seems to and only in appearance. When that sense is present, it can get very neurotic and seems to be imbalanced and ungrounded and will project that unto everything including the relationship. He's (Rupert) not going to say there's no one really there and that relationship is just happening, who says that (but me, hehe) but that's really the case. The sense of self is the one that seeks for this unity; and if it's into spirituality, then it's more likely to want to seek out a more conscious one, one that's more likely to be compatible with that energy flow so to has a better experience which is all that sense seeks for - a better experience. The reason why our natural essence is peace and tranquility and all that jazz is because there's no one in these bodies already. It's not that the person's natural essence is peace, etc, it's that the sense of a self is not peaceful, at a dis-ease, neurotic, never satisfied and all that jazz. When that's not present, which it's not already but felt as if it is, it's just what's happening but to no one. How can that not be peaceful and bliss. Saying to someone who seeks bliss and harmony that there's no one really there, they'll look at you crazy, but will continue to do practices and processes to attain that state. That's the dream. We hear all the time how our natural state is peace but never really understanding that it's because there's no one there. That's what that really means, the absence of the neurotic and dis-eased self. Even when there's anger and rage and sadness and all those what we call negative things are happening, because there's no one processing that and claiming ownership of nothing and doesn't see other but just what's appearing and doesn't see objects, it doesn't affect the energy as in someone where that sense is present, that's the natural peace that's being spoken about. It's not that those other things won't arise because they will, it's that no one senses them to be personal. This is why the sense of self feels the need to do processes and practice itself away in these contexts because it doesn't feel natural and is trying to feel a sense of naturality. It's a life-long practice because the effects doesn't last forever. Thousands of hours and decade long practices, when stopped will go right back to homeostasis and that's what 'never getting anywhere means'. It's already not happening so how can it change anything for real. This is the freedom I speak about but for no one and it's already done. Not suggesting one stops anything but it's just energy's attempts at unity for something that's already not broken. Nothing wrong either way, again, but only in appearance and to the one observing.

Have you read the fifth agreement. https://fourminutebooks.com/the-fifth-agreement-summary/ When I was studying Almine and studying Toltec shamanism, it was in that realm. It works because you are what you focus on, and if you focus on love, you become it and essentially bliss out. But the unresolved things hit you in face, it energetically feels like that.

@Eskilon I like to promote the Peace or Bliss path as I like to call it vs. this path of insanity or austerity or other paths that too me mean allot of suffering involved.. First, don't concern Yourself with this term or thing we call "Awakening" or Enlightenment or such higher up concepts, just be concerned with where You are at right now and take baby steps. The first baby step is establishing some stability in some ways, making Yourself Physically Healthy, Mentally/Emotionally in a pleasant state of Peacefulness, and Your Energies are free of blockages and are Intense in Your Experience... If You do this, and Suffering becomes practically impossible for You (Pain is always possible, but Pain is not the same as Suffering), then naturally Your Potentials will open up, Kundalini will rise up, what You found interesting before will no longer be interesting to You since Your becoming more Aware and Conscious of what it means to be Human. There are many techniques out there to make this process happen very smoothly, why reinvent the wheel when we have proven ways to make Yourself Peaceful, Healthy and full of Well Being...

The person is constantly working on themselves. Constantly trying to find peace and happiness. The tool kit is always out except when in sleep. Knock, knock knocking away at themselves. If I do this, then this WILL happen. Always in the next. Always hoping for something else other than what is. There is no next; there is no what if's there is no I will be; and there are no future endeavors. Please show me any of those things. Show me. Do you see any 'next' occurring but only as a projection and as a concept and idea. 'I will be' where is it. It's an idea projected unto reality. The person is a projection machine. No reality on it's own. It needs relationship to survive. It needs to be held up by something or the other. Typical construction site. Tapping away with the tool kit. Always more and never satisfied. It prides itself on it's achievements and it's yearning for excellence and high ambitions. It needs that to feel a certain way because how it feels now isn't good enough. It takes it's perceived feelings to be it's own but just as $5 isn't enough to buy a car, it needs more achievements and goals and whatever else to be able to purchase more expensive feelings. Sadness, unhappiness, guilt, shame, unworthiness, are all cheap feelings not worth much, it strives for happiness, fulfillment, joy, excitement, bliss, those are Armani suits and the Lamborghini's of feelings. Those are worth something. Only peasants and slaves and broke people should be feeling cheap feelings, I want to feel expensive feelings. This is pretty much the same thing as what's going on in materialism. It's just projected unto spirituality and self-improvement instead. Then we look down on the poor people who are the religious ones, the ones that aren't highly conscious and go to bars and drink beer all day or watch twerking videos. These people are cheap and are investing in cheap feelings, the spiritualist says. I'm investing in top-notch feelings and feelings of an elite nature. Most are sad and miserable, that's Walmart stuff, I want to feel like Nordstrom and Calvin Klein so I will be still and meditate and go to a silent retreat. Yeah, that'll do it. NEVER LASTS. Always will be more and more and when those things don't work it turns to psychedelics and then more and more dosages gradually increasing then that gets burnt out for something else and it never stops..,..,WHEW!!! All along THIS is what it searches for but it's not extravagant enough. Not enough lighting and effects. Not enough adrenaline. The wrong type of adrenaline. It wants to feel divine and holy and fulfilled. It wants the EMPIRE. HEAVEN. PARADISE. This is it and there's nothing else. All is happening are empty experiences with empty results that leads nowhere. Show me someone that has gotten anywhere - spiritually speaking. The construction site always gets knocked back down to WHAT IS HAPPENING and what is happening is all there is....NEVER WHAT WILL HAPPEN. The tool kit can never produce the future, it can only produce what is and what is is never enough. So it will never be satisfied, fulfilled or at peace permanently. Practice all you want. A practice can never supply fulfillment. A practice is just that a practice. It can only result in effects just as practicing lifting weights can result in bigger muscles. Stop practicing and the muscles go away. They never had a reality on their own. It's all a pipe dream and no one wakes up. The illusion is that there was never an illusion to begin with. Never a person doing these things to begin with. All energy. energy seeks to energize itself. To become something other than what it is. It can't. It deluded itself thinking it can. It is also the thinking and the delusion. That's why it never gets anywhere than where it is already. It's everything and what's everything is all there is. IT'S DONE.

Actually, no. Not two. Not body or awareness. Not clinging to form, not escaping into formlessness. Not calling hunger “illusion,” not calling awareness “real.” All that is more mind games. When orgasm floods the senses, Being is there. When hunger burns through the gut, Being is there. When silence falls Being is there. Not above it. Not behind it. In it. As it. Being doesn’t reject sensation. It doesn’t cling, and it doesn’t turn away. It is not touched, yet it includes all. Not numb. Not distant. Impossibly intimate. Spirituality isn’t escaping life. It’s no longer grasping for self in any of it, not the body, not the bliss, not even the "awareness." Just this. Simple. No split. No other. Or: "all is one, one is all” is not a concept. It’s not a belief. It’s what is, before thought tries to hold it. There is no boundary here. No “this” and “that.” No seer and seen. No inner and outer. No self and other. The body, the tree, the scream, the silence not connected things, but the same thing, moving in different shapes. All is one: Because nothing stands apart to be “other.” Even the sense of separation is part of the One. One is all: Because the center is everywhere, and the whole is in every part. The wave is the ocean. The spark is the fire. The breath is the cosmos inhaling itself. No division has ever truly happened. Only Being, endlessly appearing as many, while never becoming two.

You transcend it by not being so intouch with it, the Body and Mind complex, right now the majority of Us are super Attached or Identified with our Body/Mind complex whether we are Conscious or Unconscious of it! The more Identified with Body/Mind You are the more anything that touches it will hurt, its that simple, the opposite is true too, the more removed and detached/unidentified with it You are, the less it hurts.. The Path of going thru intense Suffering as a way to Realization is a very dangerous path, especially today with super identification situations with many aspects of one's self the people are involved with, most will not make it to the other side like the like of Frankl and others, much better to go the Peace or Bliss path, as slower and steadier/safer path for sure imo...

@TheGod We call ourselves Human Being, there are two aspects to this.. Human is social, procreation, desire being fulfilled mostly on the Survival or Accumulation level, more People, Places, Things, Experiences, Accomplishments Gathered over time to make one feel a sense of Doing/Having and Fulfilment! Then there is Being, Being is Absolute, God, Brahman, and such Spiritualistic terms, its Oneness, Completeness, Connectedness, Peace/Bliss and Knowing, this is what the Spiritual Path is about, having these Experiences and becoming One/Absolute/God within Yourself. We can choose which level to live on as this is our basic Human Quality and Capability, which most do not explore but we can if we choose too.. Your afraid of Solitude because Your identity is most Human Based, Humans need Humans to survive better and fulfill social needs and such, if You really want to explore the Being aspect of it then Solitude and proper environments (like Ashrams) are needed to get away from the need to Survive another day and continue the Accumulation process..

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

Diexonol-4 When ingested it lasts 4 hours. It has strong visual elements but has the safe, comforting elements that ketamine has. It pulls a soft silk blanket of calmness over you while you enter a tranquil dimension of peace and gratitude while transcending human existence. It has the unimaginable bliss of 5meodmt but it comes on so slowly that you don't even notice it happening and before your even aware, your in heaven. In a tranquil garden made of light and orgasm's. Then the compound actually makes you have orgasms lol. then it gives you the ability to spawn shit in.

My life has no meaning. I have huge problems with boredom that make me unable to do any activity that I want, this is not laziness it's a real problem. Also I live in very bad social enviroments and I need something else to focus on my life. Will spirituality and spiritual practices make me happy? What spiritual practices can achieve? Will they just make me numb or I will have bliss? I prefer easy spiritual practices if such thing exist cause my boredom will not let me do anything difficult. What does every spiritual practice achieve? do all spiritual practices achieve the same?

I see. I understand that nothing ever existed outside my experience, I am always where it happens. This has always been the case, to deny this is to assume many things, it is perfectly logical. However, I dont truly know who Am I yet, not at the level of being, of undeniability of rolling of the ground in esctasy after knowing it, I didnt experience that yet. And I agree that in sleep you are basically just chaning scenery, even deep sleep might be that. It makes perfect sense, but I don't feel transformed after understanding this, so probably not a truly real understanding yet. I know I am not a thought, because I am the one who is aware of the thoughts, I am observing them. I know I am not any sensation, because I can observe every sensation. The closest thing I have reached so far is, I am attention. What does that mean? When you focus on some part of your body and start feeling, that is the "thing" I think I am. Not the sensation of my arms, legs, or any thing, but the awareness that allows for me to feel and experience things. This awareness doesnt seem to have form or anything and also doesnt seem to be located anywhere, it is empty. But I can know and experience things through it. But again, I haven't been in deep bliss and a feeling of awakening or exhilaration (like that of suddenly being aware in a lucid dream) so there's definetly still more to untangle and comprehend. Thanks for your insight, God bless