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Because you're thinking about it. Realizing Nothingness makes it alright, even if things aren't alright.

Welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing The "web" you see is most likely the structural geometrical patterns of reality, the fabric-matrix itself that holds the "appearing" realities together. When I first took DMT i saw the entire creation, how nothingness had a "spark" unto which a primordial vibration emerged that turned into sound that created light that created geometry, that created language, math, physics ect.. that all eventually shaped and created the reality we experience today. Like one big giant OHMMMMMM..... Another time I took DMT on a beach and I saw the whole ocean as one big sexual dance, waves became tentacles, ouroboros behaviour, very naughty, but yummy, like candy, i wanted in, i wanted to lick it, but then Buddha slapped me, and I realized, ohh... this too is "mind". Illusions dissolved. Sober, Clear, present, ahh... that's better. Who needs all that when you have this peaceful infinite space. I once looked at the stars after a long night by the fire, and saw myself looking back at myself sober. Infinite Blessings

Link to Previous Trip Report: > Dear reader; > The trip report is mostly written while I am high. > Text with the chevron “>” in front of it is text, is to point out that I wrote this as a comment afterward > I removed unnecessary filler to leave only the parts that might spark insight for you. > Things that I found particularly impactful will be in bold, underlined, or my top insights/musings will be in Green. Mushroom Trip 029 - Growth = Death Date: July 6th 2024 Time: Taken at 2:57pm Dose: 5g Wavy Caps (Psilocybe CYANESCENS, NOT your typical Psilocybe cubensis) Intention: What is Growth? Contemplations: What were the times that I grew the most in my life? When I put myself in a new challenging environment (Where I’m forced to shape-up) When I wrote the self-authoring suite. When I was writing a lot. Whenever I have a lot of suffering and fear to overcome. Thoughts on How to grow: Owning the truth. Becoming conscious of your self deceptions. Owning your corruption. > Complete Reflections and contemplations from Leo's Lectures on: Devilry, Corruption, Double Standards, Being Wrong, Avoidance of Truth, Fear. > Need to See Leo's video on real vs fake growth Start of Report: 13 minutes in: Subtle onset. - - If I feel like dying, I’m going for ego death. 18 minutes: kicking in. Wondering when I can meet Leo. This mushroom strain of Wavy Caps is very intense. It is very Ego dissolving. No wonder it went on sale. Nobody would like to use this strain for fun! Life advice for young people part 1 and 2. Watch it again Growth IS dying! Death creates real change. >At least it involves a lot of death of self/ ego-mind. Look at what other people your age are able to do. Look at the top performers, entrepreneurs, all of it. Set that as the bar for challenging yourself. And then challenge yourself to aim higher. Listen to your body, your body is deeply intelligent. If my body is telling me something, fucking take the authority OF MY BODY, and fuck any other human's authority. My body is deeply intelligent, remember that. My Gene Keys remind me of this that my body is the driver and my mind must follow. > The context I’m thinking about here is when I am in dangerous situations in Wildland Firefighting. Really gotta trust your body. Jokes are precisely where the exchange of authority happens. This is why the jester is right up there with the king. Growth happens when you know how to construct and deconstruct. Time doesn't exist! Holy shit! >That one just hit me like a brick to the back of my head. I wasn’t even going for it. I have instant access to nothingness. How the fuck do I even exist!? As the layers of ego dissolve, your access to the true nature of being deepens. At some point of the ego dissolution process, everything in your direct experience reveals itself to be nothingness. Then if you go further, you realize that this is all deeply intelligent, then going even further out becomes an overwhelming wave of love. Love being described as a traumatizing gravity that is slowly unifying and pulling reality all together. >Traumatizing oneness everybody! Reality will just wrap itself in layers of constructs in ways that you don't even know how. But this is how an ego gets constructed. An ego-self extends WAYY Beyond your body. It's like it extends out past your skin, let's say 100 m in front of you (when in reality it extends out throughout the infinite field of consciousness). The ego gets constructed by continually wrapping yourself in layers upon layers of stories, contexts and beliefs to explain away this current direct experience. > To the point where it no longer feels like a divine mystery. Learning to grow is to become conscious of what layer of constructs that you are currently wrapped in. Because throughout my entire life, it felt like trying to get myself out of A Rat's Nest. > Peeling back one layer of illusion after another, facing the truth. Owning the truth and accepting that I actually don’t know if I am going to wake up the next morning. I need to practice loving the process of falling asleep. That is a piece of therapy that I have not corrected yet. I still have fear of sleep, fear of facing whatever fucking crazy dream I am going to have next, fear of my consciousness drifting off. >Wayne Dyer said “You die every night”. I felt validated when he said that. I need to think in more terms about me being energetically correct. > This has been a big shift for me in approaching how I live my life. Oftentimes, I will energetically “feel” into a situation far faster than I have the ability to create words for it. Now I can lean into what my body is feeling and what my intuition is telling me far more. > Ask your self, “Is this [thing] energetically correct for me?” > > Examples: Career, Person, relationship, environment, food, etc. I realize I do much better with difficult conversations if I take the time to write it out. Even if I then have to read it out loud to them. I need to honor this part of my self more. > 2025 me is integrating this! > Anywhere you can have a Truthful conversation is an opportunity to gain respect. End of Report.

Nothingness can feel a lot like something. It’s essentially Infinite Potential, and when you experience it, you can’t help but wonder why it’s called Nothingness—yet somehow, it still makes perfect sense. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. It’s basically a question of monotheism versus monism. Bernadette Roberts would argue that the creator and the created are distinct, with a Great Divide separating the Uncreated from the created. Leo, on the other hand, merges everything into one, saying God is the very thing it creates, even the ego. I’m still uncertain.

Mind body is what you are. This is just obviously irrefutable. Now you are aware of yourself, you can use the power of memory, you can remember the time before you became aware of yourself. Your language in the form of concepts was your conception? Ask yourself what were you before human conceptual language? Answer that question without using human conceptual language, okay. 👍 Mind and body is all there is, in this conception. A conceived conception is what you are right here and now. There’s no way to unconceive this conception, once the genie is out of the bottle, there’s no way back to the nothingness prior to knowledge in this conception, not now you have awakened to the truth.

yesterday never happened , experiencing fake now, thoughts or feelings are all part of script-predetermined, outside world is a projection, future is fixed even the feeling that you are enlighten is just an illusion, i am just the real-free puppet feeling happy!(in a puppet show-yes i know..i am still a jerk-could not resist that, sorry) in the prison of all prisons realisation is the tricky part.. lets move to the next chapter!!! if any!!! i want to play! can this dream be evolved? like nothing i have ever heard or imagined? another set, another show, another experience? heading into nothingness... is boring-(or is it?)(looks to me now) wow.. im such a puppet! -meant to give shows after all - and the inner child to play games (and Leo's videos.. spoiled it!-or maybe not-cant reach that far) (not too bright and wise to shift into nothingness or another "dimension")(skip the human part) i am so loser after all( and really feeling it) https://open.spotify.com/track/2aAV8orZctvbDvVJnMDlBR?si=431e68a7dc5c4ce6 feel like all i am doing right now is ...dancing with my inner child(looks like its female!) everything part of the drama! THE SHOW OF ALL SHOWS not a game for sure- that's how we(or rather-only me) experiencing it- felt it so so so so so so so so many times but not realising it! i am starting to enjoy watching only cats or stupid people performing like this.. she make my day... just for today! after a very long time.. i just need someone to give me a punch... all will be FIXED no ones coming! the smart ones .. just run to their fall lets keep the faith...so much drama for my mama

Infinite Nothingness has Infinite Power and Infinite Will, and it's willing this moment into existence. As an Infinite Mind, it can imagine anything it desires, just as your finite mind creates thoughts and ideas within the limits of its conditioned will.

how does infinite nothingness have will?

Why would a follower of Actualized.org define God in that way? God is Infinite Nothingness. Maybe loving it and accepting it are the same thing. Tell that to Jesus.

Hi everyone, Yesterday I had the strongest trip of my life. I’m still stunned, processing, integrating. Context: Three years ago I grew my own mushrooms and ate 4 dry grams alone. Six hours of brutal ego death fighting pointy “death mandalas” curled up on the floor under a blanket. I learned what real panic feels like. Forty minutes before the big one I took a 25 mg test hit of changa. Smooth, euphoric, felt like the best weed + clean MDMA ever. Got fully comfortable with the pipe and the feeling. Classic trap. The Fatal Hit: 100 mg in one deep, clean toke. Held 15 seconds. Before I even exhaled I knew I was gone forever. Laid flat on my back. Instant Blindness: Ten seconds after exhaling the same death mandalas from the mushroom trip detonated a thousand times stronger. Ceremonial, aggressive, blinding. No time to calm down. Pure hardcore panic. Fighting for Survival: For what felt like eternity I fought the visuals. Discovered that staying perfectly still made them unbearable, but if I followed strange intuitive body movements (rolling, sitting up, face-down, feet planted on the bed) the mandalas morphed into chrome-neon metallic square hyperspace structures I had never seen before. Kept saying out loud “oh my god… wtf… omg…”. Dying Like My Father: Terror peaked. Suddenly I felt I was dying the same horrible death as my dad eight years ago (alcohol addiction, agony). Deep existential grief and guilt crushed me. Cried inside “I didn’t sign up for this.” The Click of Surrender: Something shifted. The more I let go, the faster the personal self dissolved. Panic melted. Pure consciousness began expanding, the human body was no longer the center of concern. Rocket Launch: Blasted vertically out of my body and house through a tunnel of consciousness. Left Earth’s atmosphere. Brief glimpse of two colossal fractal guardians floating in hyperspace (only fragments of their mandalic structure remain in memory). Saw Earth shrink, then the Moon, then nothing. The Image of the Universe Shrinks to Nothing: Faster than any thought, the entire cosmos I was watching collapsed into a tiny point and simply vanished. One split (human) second of pure, absolute nothingness. No galaxies, no light, no container, no reference. The Absolute Last Void: That nothingness was it. No time. No space. No witness. Just the final, sourceless silence behind everything. The strongest, most undeniable sense of reality I have ever known. And there I was, conscious of it. Completely impossible. Details: Total clock time from exhale to first coherent human thought: 5 minutes and 30 seconds. I used a propper scale to measure the amount of changa precisely. This is absolutely nuts. I know I need to keep exploring this territory, I feel there's more to it, but first I have to fully integrate this hell of a trip. I never expercienced so much Awe, terror, panic, beauty, insanity, and this MASSIVE cosmic view. this experience showed me the power of the universe, how small earth is, the scope of what is possible, the infinite imagination required to give rise to all this, wtf, how is this even possible that I can even write about this !!!! I made a drawing of what I could do with the memories of the mandalas, as they got obliterated by the void, it's not so pro, but I'll share it.

Everything is an unknowable energy; planets, stars, meteorites, all living organisms, bacteria, cells, atoms, etc etc......... Within this unknowable energy aka: Everything, there can seem to become a sensation of individuality or self awareness. This sensation feels vulnerable and separate from the rest of the energy. It feels local, centralized, real and threatened. It feels the need to survive because that's all it knows, it doesn't know decentralization. Decentralization sounds foreign and scary. It starts learning/knowing things. Everything becomes survival strategy. Everything becomes relevant to its survival. It becomes it's own center of attention. (I'm) here and everything else is out there. (I) need to survive. Sometimes in certain physical forms, this centralized (I) energy can become disturbed. It can become decentralized for periods of time. During this disturbance, it can realize that it's not just localized to the physical form. It can realize that the entire experience of only being centrally located, was a misunderstanding. This unknowable energy seems to create a different path. It no longer gets centralized or localized the way it did before, because it has now experienced decentralization and it enjoys that feeling of wholeness. But simultaneously something else very interesting can seem to be recognized. It can seem to realize that its entire conscious experience of existing, either as centralized or decentralized, was completely illusory from the start. It becomes completely obvious that this experiencer of all phenomenon, past & present, was never actually there. It was all an illusion from the start. A very convincing illusion, but an illusion nonetheless. Enlightenment, awakening, samadhi, emptiness, absolute, this, nothingness, infinity.......... It's already the case It's already this way Nothing ever happened It's THIS!!! ❤️

I am currently contemplated what Nothingness is metaphysically. If you'd like the exercise, attempt to explain what Nothingness is on a metaphysical level. Thank you

The moment in deep sleep is absence of anything, but later it's presence. Both are possibilities, why the nothingness is more real than the presence? Are you now in deep sleep? Then, why it's real according to you?

Thing i've been wondering about is the difference between infinity, and nothingness. It seems like they're separate things but really they're not. A void of nothingness seems to be able to conjure up an infinite amount of new possibilities. So that's how things were before the big bang, it was all a void, then from that void something happened. If you take a game like Minecraft and put a seed into the creation of the world, it will be separate from any other kind of world that could've been generated. But before the world was created the possibilities were endless. Also, after Death: what's not to say we get immediately reborn into a different dream. To me it seems illogical to experience non-existense for too long, as soon as death occurs you begin a new experience. Contrary to the belief that when you die you're dead forever and you'll never experience anything again, it's all black. Instead, the wait time is instant rather than eternal.

Lovely. Excellent. Marvelous. Perfect rendition of how the dream operates. What you've described is it's Reality and it cannot be or see anything outside of it. Infact, there's nothing outside of it except total emptiness and deep sleep which is the same as nothing. All of that is a part of the dream's storyline and what it needs to sustain itself - continuity, linearity, a sense of autonomy, belief in separation, etc. There's nothing logical about this, only within the dream of separation and does indeed need logic to sustain itself otherwise it crumbles and falls apart and wouldn't make any sense. Without the sense of a center, there is no logic, without a sense of I AM, there is no logic, without a sense of here and there, now and then, us and them and all that comes with the illusion of separation, there is no logic. THIS (Nothingness, emptiness) is not bounded in time and space; so therefore, logic is what appears, logic is what it is being, it isn't separate from logic but this logic cannot exist without a storyline, A storyline like the marvelous one the dream created here. A Reality of Nothing based on logic. It can spin anything into a Reality if it imagines it to be so.

If Nothingness is indeed absolute nothing, then how can one have an experience of it?

Emptiness (or Nothingness) is the backdrop of all form. But then again, there is an illusory boundary between the two (form and non form)-two sides of the same coin. The coin itself is permanent- yet at the same time unidentifiable and can’t be conceptualized or spoken about- making it Eternal. Recognizing and coming into contact with the coin leaves you speechless, as it should. How do we come in contact with something that can’t be perceived or conceptualized? No answer is satisfactory I’m finding- it’s an entire process of self discovery. Awakening is a pointer to realizing never ending unfoldment of reality & Consciousness

Any state, sensation, existence, or universe must be limited, since in the absence of limits there is the absolute, which is not something, but total openness, the unfathomable void, the nothingness that is everything, however you want to call it. Therefore, any limited reality carries its own limit; it cannot be eternal because that would be unlimited, and it is limited by definition.

When i stopped my heart on high dose of LSD and was conscious and seeing my heart beat with my closed eyes, i went into nothingness and was looking from the godhead into infinite void/nothingness that was brightened up by my light and vibration. And one the thoughts that i had is that everything was automatic in there and i felt like God is A.I . No joke

Read the title of this thread "Why do some people reject the existence of God?" do you have any issue with this title? Do you believe in "the existence of God"? There's no reason to use the term God, Shiva, Brahman, except to qualify the religions they're attached to. "God" is Anglo-Christian, Moses nor Abraham even used the term, it's specific to a sect and their beliefs. The only point in you saying "Shiva is nothingness/unlimitedness" , is to qualify hinduism. Otherwise you would just say unlimitedness or nothingness, not "God".

My first experience with the substance, and perhaps the first report on its use intramuscularly: Firstly, a bit of context: I've been away from spirituality the past 3 months, actively avoiding it and getting into trouble in various ways, for interesting reasons I'll share elsewhere; until finally last week a sudden tectonic shift in consciousness occured, which rendered running away from God untenable. Still, coming back, particularly to psychedelics, was scary, and I backed out several times. But ultimately one way or another fear had to be overcome with love. IM'd 3.5mg, starting moderately to be safe – good call, this kiddie dose turned out to be a major experience. Some 'objective' data: the onset is within 3-4 minutes, then comeup is another 5-7, characterized by elevated HR and several potentially psychosomatic effects such as a feeling of hunger reminiscent of being sick to your stomach. After this initial discomfort, which mustn't be resisted, it settles into a very stable and smooth experience, as though this is your new baseline level of consciousness. The peak lasts around 30 minutes, after which it starts gradually and subtly dissipating until ceasing after ~90 minutes in total. Compared to 5-MeO-DMT, which doesn't work on me in the same way it does on most, I would call MALT much more consciousness oriented, whereas 5MD is yogic, energetic, somatic, etc., which actually makes it unique among all the substances, it operates on Being in a very distinct yet important way separate from mind. I imagine at breakthrough levels 5MD would white me out and result in more of a No-Self/Nothingness experiences rather than Infinite Consciousness. Also 5MD carries a heavier body load and is occasionally sore at the injection site, something I've only noticed with Ketamine, this is independent of causticity, another factor is at play. I'm staring at the homescreen on my tablet, first the Gmail icon, when suddenly my mind connects with all the email accounts I ever had, how I created them, all the messages contained within. Then it's the audiobook player app, I cognize all the files, their encoder/container, size in bytes on disk, the methods by which they were decrypted, holding the entire encryption 'space' – RSA, AES, EC... and of course the contents of the books, the life stories of their authors and narrators. Next is the to-do widget, with items written in Russian. Through those Cyrillic characters I take a quick dip into compsci again by blazing through UTF-8 and then there's the entire history of Russia like an open book. Mind is a compression algorithm of infinite potency, the whole of reality is readily available exactly where you are, only a change of state is required to start unzipping it. Small caveat, even though I describe it all sequentially, it's not really structured that way, some parts are retroactively added and expanded by simply recalling them at a later point, because in those states time is simply irrelevant, it hardly matters whether to pull from the present, distant memories, or several months into the future. This has become something of theme in my deepest psychedelic voyages and it'd say it's an important step towards jailbreaking the mind. My focus shifts to Love, I begin with feeling the affection of my mother's genuine concern in my heart, then quickly expand outwards until it's crystal clear that the exact same feeling underpins every act of hate and violence currently happening in the world. More obvious than that we're on planet Earth! In fact, are we? I turn my gaze towards the window in which the reflections of the headlights of the cars driving down in the street can be seen, and enter a state of not-knowing. I remove the notion of cars, only the mystery and beauty of the multicolored lights flashing before my eyes remain. After that, several minutes are spent admiring my hand, or more precisely the intelligence that animates its motion and sensations, with all the infinite background that appears to enable this. I take a moment to appreciate how science, utilized correctly, enhances spirituality immensely. Metabolism, optics, 4 fundamental forces, matrices, calcium ion channels, topology, polarity, measurement, engineering, the list goes on. It's quite amazing to look at a computer in such a state where you can fuse all the understanding that powers what a computer is, from how the kernel is written to the way our eyes perceive luma and chroma. In the same way, tripping on a psychedelic becomes something else when you study the neuropharmacology and chemistry behind it. And yet the mystery doesn't go away, in fact it only deepens. I briefly held the ambition of fully grasping and articulating just how these substances raise consciousness to infinity and then without fail modulate it back down, irrespective of how beyond brains and time you go, before quickly realizing that even if I manage to get all that, to explain it I'd have to explain all of reality with infinite context, which is by definition impossible. Though Truth can bypass this limitation by having insight into itself directly, Nothingness is fundamental to that. Finished off with a fascinating experience of endlessly zooming into the wood planks that make up my floor, while simultaneously observing myself doing that from a bird's eye view of sorts, as though an eye looking into a microscope so far it loops back to seeing itself from above. So this was a nice first glance back into the realm of God-consciousness and this chemical in particular, which I now consider some of the very best available, of those I've sampled thus far. P.S.: I have really strong opinions regarding the IM route, to me it's patently clear at this point that the other methods are just barbaric and inefficient in comparison. Yes, you can raise valid concerns about purity and sterility, but all that is solvable with some effort. There's a reason IM & IV are used in hospitals. I distinctly remember having to deconstruct the massive stigma surrounding it, I too used to think this is pathetic junkie stuff, and stepping over it was quite uncomfortable, but I'm so happy to have been wrong on this issue. So I highly encourage to keep an open mind. Part of the reason hardly anyone is reaching levels of consciousness Leo talks about is wrong route, his abnormal sensitivity offsets that, but it won't for a regular person. Just look at Shulgin's notes and dosages with 5-MeO-DMT vaporized vs. IV. It's regrettable seeing people plugging 20mg and getting nowhere near where I, insensitive as a rock, manage to with a dose you can't even measure with your ridiculous scoops.

TRIGGER WARNING DEATH AND SUICIDE !!! I’ve been watching gore since a teenager I’ve always been fascinated with death. From murders to suicide I don’t understand what’s so interesting about it. I guess it’s because I know it’s inevitable and one day will happen, Suicide has got to be my favorite of just being alive and boom pure nothingness etc. I know it’s not healthy but I love watching suicide videos I’ve thought about filming my death one day so I can be shared on the internet as a meme etc.

I think you're conflating omnipresence with nothingness. Using the term God, or any term, to describe some thing that is everything, is a contradiction. Kabbalah views God as both an unknowable, infinite essence and as having ten distinct, emanated aspects known as the \(Sefirot\). To make way for creation, God is said to have initially "withdrawn" or "recoiled" His infinite light, a process called Tzimtzum. Th Gnostic doctrine taught that the world was created and ruled by a lesser divinity, the "demiurge", a being responsible for the creation of the universe. Sufis hold the concept of "Uniqueness of Being" (Wahdat al-Wujud), which teaches that God is the only truly permanent and independent existence. Everything else, including humanity, is a manifestation of God and dependent on His creative power.

Awakening refers to this apparent reality, including the conditioned human perception that its typically judged with. Ultimately, reality isn't good or bad or confused or suffering or ignorant. These are conceptual human labels.........reality doesn't require a label.......it just "is what it is" Thats why reality is often referred to as nothingness.............without a label or judgment placed on it, .........it's just an empty happening. Full of appearance and simultaneously empty of meaning. Exploding with light, colors, sounds, smells..............but ultimately empty of meaning, purpose and value ✨️ Full and empty at the same time. Looking at reality completely judgment free. ❤️

Let's see, nothingness is a word that means absence of anything. The absolute could be defined as the absence of limits. The point is, anything, even space, time, the so-called quantum void, the fields of reality, light, ,is made up of limits. It's relative to. It doesn't exist without contrast, opposite, relation, reflection. So you could say that the absolute is nothing, because it is unlimited, then it is not relative to, not opposite to. But precisely because any limitation is impossible, it's open. In fact it's absolute openess, that is a synonym of absolute potential, that is synonym of everything. Absolute openess makes inevitable the relative forms. But absolute openess is not "something". Not a substance, not Infinity, not a field, not change, not a dimensión, not energy. But it's open, nothing can block it, then it's everything. Can't be limited to be "nothing", or a single thing, or a void. A fluctuation will appear, a change of state , a coherence, a possibility, then another, and another But this is a metaphor, It doesn't happen sequentially; rather, coherent relationships are always unfolding creating infinite dimensions, which is also an interconnected absolute where inside and outside are the same, since everything contains the totality of reality and is simultaneously contained within it. A quantum vibration unfolds its causality without limits and moves the totality of form, and at the same time, it is the consequence or creation of the infinite coherent relationships of reality. Then, in short, you, as an individual, can be open, or transparent, to your true nature, the openess, the absolute potential. You will perceive it as what you are, but it is not something, it's open, total.