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@BojackHorseman as soon as you said past 40, I was like uh-huh. It doesn't get talked about so much anywhere but this is Mid-life Crisis territory. Although I think that name is overly-dramatic and has certain negative connotations attached it: fast cars and being impulsive. A better way to see it is as a maturation process. There are stages you go through as you age, like walking, puberty, brain maturation at 25 and so on. For some people they begin a process of seeing life more clearly around the age of 40, an awakening if you like. And it can really shake the foundations of your life. Essentially it's a process of re-organisation in your identity. For me personally it come on very unexpectedly and was a living hell for a good number of years, I was about 38. I become intensely emotional, everything became meaningless and I disliked who I was intensely: it was nearly like a second puberty, but very different. I also wanted to run away from everything in my life and start again, and I wanted everything to fit into what I wanted fuck everyone else (that's how I felt at the time). Contrasted to how I'd been before 38, it was like day and night, I has always been optimistic, upbeat and well-adjusted. But I would say everyone's experience of a mid-life crisis (if you do experience it), is different and personal. In my experience it is just a phase, it has a beginning and an end. You may end up being a very different person through the other end, and in my case it was worth the pain (mostly). It may last some years. If you think you're depressed, then get help, there's no shame in that. Otherwise, just take one day at a time, and listen very carefully to your deepest needs small or large and try and cater for those. Do all the right things to keep your mood up: exercise, sunlight, socialise, decent diet, sleep well - even if you don't want to. But also take action on whatever arises, even if it feels difficult or alien to you.

@Leo Gura could you please clarify some of your recent jargon in the sense that it seems as if at least one layer has been added? Which words do you use synomynously (like consciousness & awareness or God & Mind?) and which of them have a distinct meaning/ are on other levels (like Truth & Awareness etc?)? Words like God, Mind, Awareness, Consiousness, Truth, Love, Being, Understanding, Knowing, Reality, Infinity (do you distinguish between magnitudes of infinity like in mathematics - the rational vs complex numbers, like infinity < alien infinity?)

Yo my Yimpa. If you femboy well enough you can enter the Willytition but it will take a lot of effort to defeat a 2m tall Slavic alien. Valentin has refined tastes. 🫨

God realization and non dual awakenings feel to be like some sort of great equilizer for me, like you can disregard any experience by saying it's all God, which is valid in some way, but not necessarily the most helpful position to take Here's where I'm coming at this from, it's basically the fact that the more awakening/ mystical states I reach, the more complexity I seem to unravel, YES it is all God, but God likes to play with itself within forms, "stories" and frameworks and those are as valid ways for it to recognize itself as melting directly into the sun of its being, the forms and stories I'm reffering to could potentially include anything; The discovery of a "personal soul" that undergoes a reincarnation journey accross space and time (and yes it could be seen as illusory as the personal ego but in my experience it's still there), Paranormal activities (clairvoyance, clair audience, controlling matter and energy through the quantum field) Disincarnated entities, spirit guides, angels, aliens and alien intelligences Synchronities that simply break reality and that could fall on the verge of schizophrenia A soul's purpose being something other than realization, a "personal" soul could incarnate for the sake of learning anything whether it's courage, faith, proactivity, trust, love, selflesness..., and yes all these are stepping stones towards god realization but necessary non the less Direct DNA activations and rewriting, nervous system rewirings, the discovery of Akashic records Personal karma that transcends this one lifetime, soul contracts, souls reincarnating in groups to help each other fulfill their life missions 5D consciousness and beyond, vibrational levels ... And the list goes on and on, I know a lot of people may just consider a lot of these things to be just new age dogma(s), and tbh many are, and I don't advice anyone to believe in anything that hasn't been personally verified, I started out this journey being a radical non dualist, to the point where I didn't believe in anything outside of God as a singular infinity, there was no nuances, separations or experiences from my view, if you asked about a personal soul or reincarnation, I would just explain it away with God But I'm feeling that although that was not false in itself, radical non duality is still valid, I'm realizing with time that there many layers to truth/reality that could all be valid at once My question to finish this is, is there anyone in here with experiences along the lines of what I've described ? and why does no one seem to talk about these things ? I know a lot of bullshit has been superimposed on a lot of these things which made everything dilluted and took out a lot of validity to these things, but still there is a kernel of truth in what I'm gonna refer to as "dualistic awakening", there is value in this, but that's just my perspective I would love to know anyone's position on this matter

Great Blog post on "But Why Christianity?" It's the first solid comparative religion analysis I have seen from you. I would like to give some other interesting angles to see this from. Religion in its purest sense is an Awakening technology designed to achieve a particular set of states of consciousness which are assumed to be "the highest, most complete or best" There's an ideological and epistemically ignorant way of going about religion. There's also a proper way of framing religion where it becomes indispensable for building the blocks towards Absolute God from where you'll have to burn the inferior human base. In this sense, I find that religion for the proper mystic and philosopher allows delving into prior experiences from saints and derive principles and access to certain states of consciousness. For example, it would have taken me a lot to decipher myself the "Tao" it's a particular insight and consciousness property, yet it is reflected in Taoism, you can use the technology and hopefully not get entangled too much, get the superb Tao and deconstruct from your mind Taoism. I know I wouldn't be where I am if I wasn't standing in the shoulder of giants, like Sri Anandamayi Ma, Shivapuri Baba, Adidam or you Leo. To arrive to you, there was an unbroken study of mystics and religious techniques that holistically built up to higher levels of synthesis and purity and in such levels to the deconstruction of masters, religions and the labyrinthine Mind of God to break free into Infinite Consciousness. Having said this, I'd like to shift towards a conversation about being human. I've become aware that I share many Awakening values with you and that they also have lead me towards a furthering of what makes me human, towards more evolved alien mature ways of cognition, behavior and consciousness. In hardcore introspection I feel there's something out of tune, and in some way I see it also in you. I'm talking about such subtle matters that it's hard to even make my point across. Okay, let's assume to go hardcore in the opposite way of transcendentalism and limitlessness towards insane grounding and integration into the human frame. I've awoken so much and matured so much that my primal and animal humanness has been shadowed. I'm aware of the human frameworks and jails, yet I don't want this awareness to make me lose the connection, love, integration and joy of being a basic chimpanzee cleaning its ass in the jungle.

I realized I was taking for granted the fact that you are the only teacher who hasn’t crystallised on a single rigid model. I haven’t had the opportunity to thank you for being a constant source of epistemic novelty. It is what has largely prevented me from falling down formulaic model dynamics. Your alien awakenings were a really strong perturbation to my sense-making and a piece in the intellectual cascade that inspired the algorithmic improvements that made me rich.

I think I heard Leo say that in one of the videos, not a forum post. But regardless, the reason it didn't work is outlined in a recent blog post – God will not grant local/personal miracles (which morphing into an alien certainly qualifies as a miracle), not without very exceptional circumstances anyway. For that same reason Leo's self-healing endeavors didn't succeed – although that doesn't mean the health problems are permanent, maybe they are, or the time for healing hasn't come yet for whatever reason, I don't know. Virtually the only way God will grant a local miracle is if it serves the highest Love and Good. An alien transformation on camera doesn't serve any such purpose, at worst as OP points out it could cause chaos, or simply be a tool for Leo to prove something, maybe give an ego boost, in other words a selfish, or at least not entirely selfless motive. Thus far I've only been able to manifest one miracle (that's a long story), and I know it worked only because the desire came from a completely selfless place. Even if you think your motives are pure, God knows for sure, and if there's any trace of selfishness in there, that's a no-go. In several instances I thought if only X would happen, I could do so much good for the world with it, but that was a self-deception, completely transparent to God. Similarly, Jesus was able to perform miracles because those served a purpose. A sort of crude reasoning from God deciding to grant Jesus those powers would go something like "If he can heal the sick and walk on water, people will take him seriously, and will listen to his message of Love, thus improving the world". Of course those teachings have over time been corrupted into the ideology of Christianity, but that too is part of the larger evolutionary design. Just as any local miracle is ultimately indistinct from the "Just One Miracle" of God's existence, they're baked into it. It also works the other way around, I've become conscious of how I was given a certain ailment which I managed to cure only after learning some important lessons and going through many years of suffering. Same with the many difficulties and annoyances, past, present, and future, they all exist to grow and better me. Anyway, that's my 2¢ on the matter, and also a long-winded way to express a powerful insight/perspective: everything happens for a reason, don't fool yourself into thinking you know better than God, instead develop a trusting relationship with it, and your life will feel so much lighter and enjoyable.

Hi Leo. This comment made me worry about your safety. Leaving the alien stuff aside, did you notice anyone wanting to do harm to you? Did you receive threats? I mean, you never did wrong to anyone. You don't seem the kind of guy to have enemies. Who are those bad faith actors you mentioned? Please be safe. I personally love you. Without you I am certain that I'd have been dead for many years now.

See this is what makes me think you never thought that you would be able to make the video. If you care about your life posting a video of yourself transforming into an alien is one of the most dangerous things you can do. It just doesn't make sense.

It's not about being a freak or human understanding, but about the world plunging into chaos upon seeing your transformation. How could you even contemplate sending it out? Being the biggest freak in the world would be detrimental to your survival. Dutch colonists used to put South African women with "freakishly" big asses in cages like they're animals in a zoo. Being a freak is not about being misunderstood by lowly humans, its about the survival of you and your family. Transforming into an alien would get you killed by evangelicals, hunting you down with guns, for in their mind they've seen a real life demon transformation. Do you really not get what I'm pointing at here?

If you experienced whatever Leo did, you'd have done the same thing. Have you had a reality shattering experiences? Becoming an Alien feels absolutely real in that state. As real as the feeling of your feet of the floor right now. Not defending the claims he made, but if you don't know the nature of such an experience you would be strawmanning Leo.

Okay, but did you not think of the ramifications of that if it would work, that history would change in an instant, and you would be the biggest freak in the world? that people would go looking for you? If I thought I could transform into an alien, i'd keep it a secret purely for my survival. Thinking of sharing it is more bizarre than thinking you are able to do it IMO. This is my last question. I'll stop hammering about it, I understand it's not the most gentle way of going about it, but the scope of the claim does warrant this amount of scrutiny.

I haven't, but I am assuming Leo was posting while sober about his alien transformation (posting sober is a rule of the forum), so it doesn't make any difference. I'm extremely open minded but also extremely skeptical. The deconstruction of sober consensus reality is something entirely different than going through insane stuff while tripping. "That said, I myself wonder what makes the manifestation of a psychedelic state into baseline so hard, even with Leo's level of Awakenings. My current understanding is that each level of Consciousness has a certain coherence to it, accessible only from that particular state of Mind." My theory is that the body is in itself a psychedelic. The paradox of realizing that matter is unreal, on psychedelics, is that you are having such an awakening only because you ingested a certain piece of matter, namely the psychedelic chemical. this would explain why Leo doesn't understand why he always comes back even when going into entirely bodyless states. the body still exists because he is it. only upon physical death is your consciousness fully released. Leo still being alive in our dream means it'd be impossible for him to have gone fully away. What do you mean with "each level of Consciousness has a certain coherence to it, accessible only from that particular state of Mind." ? and with this "The "if Jesus/ aliens appeared, you wouldn't even know it" type thing. The dynamics between states, i.e the relative ontology, is highly non-trivial. " ? It seems like you're saying some profound stuff here, but i'm not sure how to read it.

love and empathy is scrutiny of bizarre claims that were never followed up upon. Transforming into an alien is a claim a 1000 times more bizarre than landing on the moon. Afaik, our consensus reality still beholds to the laws of physics. it's precisely what makes the dream feel real. transforming into an alien on camera would break all notions of physics and consensus reality and change history in a second. we would basically start living in an irl fantasy world. its incomparable with landing on the moon. shaming me for criticizing bizarre claims is an awful argument. I don't care the forum is free. conspiracy theories online are also free. Poison is free. I'm actually doing proper scientific inquiry here. The forum is amazing and I'm actually showing it respect by bringing up these topics.

I am not entitled, I just state standards that are normal for students to have. Do you understand how open minded you have to be to even listen to your work about consciousness, God, all that stuff? with your friends and family ridiculing you for it? only for you to state you have literal transformative powers and end up not going through with it, feeling like I should not have been open minded. Thinking that chaos wouldn't ensue around with the release of your transformation video is not a high state of consciousness, but a low one IMO. It's not mockery, but a critique of someone with educational authority, which by default is the relation between a student and teacher. You critiqued Connor Murphy when he went through his stuff (rightfully so), even calling him a zen devil. But with your stuff we're not supposed to criticize, because you project is as mockery? It didn't write it as a mockery, I guess you still don't realize how bizarre those claims were. You never addressed them afterwards, so a critique is warranted. I'm not entitled to any of your work. It's a mistake and a projection to assume that I think I do. When someone is clearly teaching stuff which isn't true and thus misleading, I am entitled to speak out against that though. I am still very interested in what made you think you could transform. It's so radically different than anything you talked about prior, which basically didn't envolve any powers in the dream. Was it just delusion and bad judgement on your part? did you actually reach a stage where such magic was possible? I'm still open minded about it, but since you never addressed it afterwards and just swept it under the rug, is what makes me suspicious and irritated. It's extremely sloppy and treats us as a gullible audience, like we are just some Sadhguru followers listening to our guru and not question his bizarre claims, and just forget it ever happened. It would be epistemologically sloppy of me to not question it. You are a teacher telling us that behind 200 trips lie something that noone has ever seen. If that same person makes an extreme claims of alien transformation and then fails to do it, why would I trust him with going to do 200 trips? It's like a medieval Portugese man pointing at the Atlantic Ocean, and saying there is an entire continent on the other side, and the next day he claims he can turn into a dragon. Why would I still try to cross the Ocean? Why are you mad at me for criticizing your bizarre claims? You were the one who posted about it. You could have easily waited till it worked out or not and then posted it (even though posting it would be insane in itself). Instead you sloppily posted around the forum with insane claims. And you never retracted it or talked about it, what happened during that time. A simple "Forget about what I said, I was in an unstable mental state" would have been enough. By not doing that you are basically saying that it's still possible that your transformation etc might have been valid. So hence my critique. And you're getting mad at me for questioning this? What, I'm supposed to just be a gullible little boy and let you make all these absolutely bizarre claims without questioning you on it? such gullibility goes a 180 degrees in to what you have always taught us. And you criticize Sadhguru's followers and other new age followers for it. Saying it's just mockery feels like gaslighting. And again, we're not talking about some vague claims of telepathy or remote viewing here. We're literally talking about a physical transformation into an alien being here. Hollywood stuff. What do you expect of me? Instantly calling me entitled is such an empty argument. Of course we as your audience are not entitled to anything. Yet we are also the only reason your entire business exists. In the same way you are also not entitled to not be critiqued by your audience. Not critiquing your episode is actually the biggest mockery of your work, because it's like a fly in an otherwise great soup. Leaving the fly in there would be not doing a serious investigation into your work. You have shared some of the best wisdom I've ever read in my life. A critique like this is a respect of your work, not a mockery.

That's why I feel sorry for anyone who still takes him seriously. What's worse, he loves to call everyone a grifter, but he is going to grift his followers into believing they can achieve this 'advanced alien consciousness' by paying for a course. It's quite pathetic honestly.

I missed those videos but Leo is hardly alone in these things. It's like breakingthewall said, the mystical opening leads to many such direct realizations like this. Leo works in the nondual space, but there are a lot of mystical spiritual people who are more in the alien space. Honestly, the idea that you could transform into an alien, I believe you could look in a mirror on psychedelics and see yourself in your Pleadian form, easily. Just the same as you can look in the mirror and see the faces of your ancestors morph across your face. Now that, I have seen first hand. Could I replicate it on camera? I don't think so. But I have watched many many people claiming to channel aliens, and many of them actually LOOK alien like in their facial structure and hair cuts. And it's just like Leo said, these things are simultaneously accessible to the mystic, and too weird to ever translate into a sober human lifestyle that could become commonplace on this planet, so they remain in the realm of what our society labels psychosis, superstition, and myth. I have been flirting with psychosis throughout my life, but somehow never quite fall in. I must not be prone to schizophrenia, because I have most certainly spent months in the same mental space that leads people to believe that helicopters are following them, and that they're space Jesus, so they should stand on the street corner smoking crack at 3am, and yet I didn't ever experience my life falling apart like that. It just seemed like musing to me. I'd do some acid and see some cool shit, and then I'd just go to bed and head to work on Monday. But meanwhile my sense of reality was very abnormal. I'm lucky and grateful that I was able to simply muse philosophical about these things, rather than falling into psychosis or schizophrenia.

In my experience the line between genuine awakening and psychosis is small when the only thing you have reference to is yourself. I thought I had awakening experiences when in fact looking back now I had HPPD. Parts of my mind didn't function anymore on a daily basis and I glorified it as "being", "no-self" and "collapsing of distinction". Even if this is awakening, do enough grounding. It's important. Even if this is awakening, do notice the negative motivation which pushes you towards the psychedelic substance to escape from and avoid this reality. It will bite you. Like you I had strong egoic impulses to not be this person anymore. I asked people on this forum and here are some helpful quotes to distinguish what you experience: "Awakening impacts your cognition positively, and it adds more clarity to your life. The opposite with mental illnesses." "The difference is quality of life, if you don't move forward after a period of time and your life gets worse, it is mental illness." "There can be thousands of alien and weird states of consciousness, some of them quasi-mystical, but not really the same as full on God-consciousness." "[Awakening] is not a loss of personal identity but an expansion of your sense of self." "The difference is that [mental illness] doesn't make me go "Holy fuck! Me and the universe are one!" It's more like "wait... this is weird.""

@gengar thank you very much for this thread, these questions I asked myself and you expressed it well. I hope Leo responds. I appreciate Leo for reporting this advanced stuff with us. He could keep his thoughts about transforming into an alien on camera by himself. Now he released his thoughts, it would be nice to hear if there was something on it or not. It still sounds absolute madness to me but Leo could have experienced so much other insane impossible things that this seemed to him possible.

I would say that the mental path that led Leo to think this was possible is the same path that has led many mystics to think they could levitate if they tried hard. Let's see, the mystical opening undoubtedly shows you that you have no limits. Therefore, if this is so, it means that you are the reality, the totality. If this is so, it means that you have created this reality in which you live, but you are not aware of it. This implies that if you raise your consciousness and become aware of how you are creating this moment, you will be able to modify it. This is erroneous; it's a limited vision of the unlimited that, at a given moment, seems absolutely true, but isn't. The very fact of the absence of limits makes you infinitely limited. It's paradoxical, but it's obvious. Let's see, if nothing limits you, you unfold infinitely in infinite dimensions automatically and inevitably. You have no control, since control would be, precisely, a limit. You are infinite as an essence, as an absolutely free infinite being, but as a form, you are absolutely limited in infinite directions. Each energetic vibration of your reality is linked with the infinite dimensions of reality, forming a harmonious and synchronous whole. Levitating would break the synchronicity; transforming into an alien would also break it; it's absolutely impossible. It is possible if you respect the laws of infinite synchronicity. You can act on the form to a great extent, and each movement will have infinite butterfly effects. But you cannot displace infinity by breaking the synchronicity. It's impossible.

@aracid In the very last post I share my experience with a succubus if thats relevant here somehow There is also some alien stuff in the second part Leo would find interesting For now nothing has attached itself to me long term but some astral projection practitioners say that is possible. -- After psychedelics I feel like my neurotransmitters are fried and it takes me about a week to go back to normal. It gets my baseline mood down and also I get some whacky negative thoughts I feel of you were to purposeful mess with your neurotransmitters you could get something that resembles the state you were stuck in. Clinically depressed people that have neurotransmitter imbalances are stuck in such states and sometimes do an 180 when they get on meds or SSRIs. Maybe it was an entity on your end or may it was some brain imbalance that was fixed my some adaptogens or plants they gave you, who knows. Anyhow I'm glad you made it out! Keep is updated on your journey

Let's keep it a buck about Leo, He made many extreme claims that we are all supposed to forget about or something, and now take his logic and rationality very seriously, The pinnacle was the moment he claimed to be able to transform into a physical alien on camera, and that he only needed to find the correct camera. Let's take a moment to analyze this claim and its ramifications: -He was never able to do it -Imagine being able to do it, or at least, not being able to do it but thinking that you are (which is probably the case, which would already qualify him as being psychotic at the time), and actually contemplating putting your transformation on the internet. let's analyze this premise: (We are assuming that any vfx experts watching the video would be able to discern it's authenticity, which would be the case in an actual alien transformation) You release the video online. first, the forum community watches it in horror and disgust, and amazement, realizing they are looking at an actual video of their favorite Youtuber transforming into a real life alien. They share it everywhere around the internet, and it quickly starts to go viral. CNN and other major news networks start to pick it up and it goes insanely viral around the world. VFX experts announce its authenticity. the virality of the video starts to grow and grow and people on the news are talking about it and Leo. Everyone wants to speak to Leo because this is the craziest thing that has ever happened in the history of mankind. People start to look for him in real life and maybe even threaten him. Chaos ensues around the world. I mean, this is literally the scenario that would unfold. Total chaos. And yet he still posted about it, contemplating posting it like it would be some minor happening. Are we supposed to believe a man of his intelligence would not foresee these events? Keep it real with us Leo. Were you having an episode of psychosis at the time? and what happened with the portal that opened in your head, and the realizing of the consciousness field of the earth, and speaking with it? I believe this all happened around the 2nd half of 2022. You suddenly had these esoteric episodes, distinct from your regular Oneness awakening, God realization, metaphysical philosophy. And I mean, like I described, you literally contemplated putting out an alien transformation video like it wouldn't be the craziest thing ever shown on earth. And of course you weren't able to do it, which makes me think you went through some kind of psychosis around that time. Are we supposed to sweep all of this under the rug? You literally never explained any of these episodes any further. Never gave us an apology or nothing. It feels so blatant to talk about transforming into an alien on camera and then just never talk about it and talk about other serious philosophers like they are nothing and don't know anything, while you hold the secrets of the universe that no one else has ever figured out. It honestly feels like some master level trolling which I don't like to claim from you. I hope at least it was some kind of poison pill or something, to test us. If it wasn't, I can only expect suspect psychosis. Thinking you're getting away unscathed with sharing your alien transformation video online is more psychotic than anything Connor Murphy went through. It's a true disconnect with the realities of society and the world. It would be a literal Black Mirror episode and people would go looking and hunting for you. And this is already assuming that a transformation like that is even possible. It's disrespectful to your students to make these absolutely bizarre claims and never follow through on it or take them back. A simple explanation that you had a psychotic break would be plenty. But you never did. It's quite enraging actually.

I've been reluctant to discuss this until it felt resolved, but more as a warning to those who choose to swim in deep water. Firstly, this needs to be prefaced by saying that I have the utmost respect for Leo and his willingness to share and be open about his experiences. Secondly, I consider myself a psychonaut with 20 years of experience. Perhaps not to the extent that some may consider, but to give some context: I've done 50+ ayahuasca experiences, 5-MeO breakthrough doses 5+ times, and at least 20 hugs/handshakes, as well as iboga, countless High doses LSD and mushroom trips, and various other experiences. I've never been on antidepressants and never felt suicidal. I've been open to the realms that these modalities offer, mostly out of curiosity and interest. On average, 99% of my trips have been good—challenging at times, but ultimately transformative. They have taken me to the edge, and I have learned through facing the fear. Of course, some trips involve shadow work, but I have come to embrace this wholeheartedly. So, this isn’t my first rodeo. I know what bad trips are like. Having worked with ayahuasca in the Amazon jungle for years, facing a multitude of spaces, I felt well-prepared. March 2024 I found Leo’s video on "The Other God Particle" interesting and located the substance from a very reputable source, trying Malt as per Leo's suggestion (plugging). My first experience was with a very light dose (7mg) to see if it was legit and matched his description. The first experience was incredible and exactly as he described. A light dose but I knew that it was legit However, I will say that my recollection of the experience soon disappeared after grounding. All in all, it was a net positive. A week later, I decided to increase the dose to 12mg - still fairly light Administered in the same way, this experience was even more beautiful. I navigated the space wonderfully, and at the peak, I was floating in a realm I can only describe as absolute bliss. Then, in an instant, like a switch being flipped, everything vanished. As high as I had been, it all disappeared. Gone. As infinitely vast as the love and bliss I had just experienced, I now found myself in the polar opposite. No matter what I did—no matter what shamanic tools I had spent over 10 years developing—nothing could resolve it. I was in a perpetual inversion of love. It felt like my entire existence was being sucked into a pit of disgust and sludge. I tried to engage with the state, to reason with it, but the only response was "No, no, no, no." I knew there was no way out. Just as one can experience infinite love in quintessential 5-MeO experiences, this was infinity—but of absolute hell. I eventually opened my eyes and found myself back in the room. I tried to shake it off. I grounded myself as best I could and wrote it off as a bad trip - and continue my day. However, instead of the high-frequency thoughts I was familiar with after a transformative ceremony, this was the opposite—horrible. Then Things Got Worse My dreams began to change. Upon waking, my thoughts felt alien, as if they were not my own. Almost every thought had a tint of something that was not love. Years of work connecting with divinity felt severed. For six months, it got progressively worse. At my deepest core, it felt as though my connection to divinity had been completely severed, and worse still, my thoughts were not pure. It wasn't that I was thinking of doing bad things to people, but I wasn’t thinking of doing good to myself. May 2024 During these months, I attempted a small handshake dose of classic 5-MeO. All seemed well until the very end when the same sludge and darkness filled the space. This was not what I was familiar with. I knew something was seriously wrong. June 2024 I tried a weed gummy - as the trip peaked, I felt an endless sensation of darkness and a perpetual cycle of sludge. I was with a woman I loved and felt nothing toward her. Worse, I felt disgust. As I tried to fall asleep, the only way I could describe it was being on a hamster wheel where I couldn't change my thoughts and they were perpetually relapsing this void of love. It felt as though the seed of my incarnation had flipped into the "opposite of love". Day by day, the world began to reflect that. I knew I needed to seek guidance—someone experienced in these realms. I consulted with various shamans and practitioners and decided to undergo a flood dose of 5-MeO to investigate what was happening. October 2024 The private retreat I attended conducted three ceremonies: one hug and two flood doses. The first hug felt like I was being torn between two worlds, one very dark, and one very light. It didn't last very long it wasn't profound but it wasn't anything like what I remember 5meo to be. Then came the flood dose. Just like before, I was hurled back into hell. It felt as if everything I loved was gone. It whispered to me that I would never experience true love again. It felt like the keys to the kingdom of heaven were gone. When I emerged from the second hit, I spoke to the shaman about where I had gone, and the only thought in my mind was how I would say goodbye to those I loved because I knew—without a doubt—that I was going to kill myself. I had gone from a happy, normal life to a single experience that flipped a switch and nearly destroyed me. After the second 5-MeO flood, the only thought that existed in my mind was, “I need to die.” Having touched divinity many times before, I knew I had broken something within myself. The shaman and I discussed the events surrounding my Malt experience and considered the possibility of an entity attack—something feeding on ‘Loosh.’ It’s an esoteric concept, but well-documented. If people are interested, I can share more. In this darkest of spaces, I decided to take a third flood dose, but this time with one singular intent: expelling whatever had attached itself to me. I had recently completed a Bobinsana dieta in Peru (November 2023). She is a protector, so I called on her spirits. I went in with everything I had, and the shaman did the same, knowing now that this was potentially paranormal or non-ordinary. Going back in, going into the darkness, the third ceremony was just like the second, Hell, all I tried doing was focus on love and perhaps even prayer and then, something happened. Like a flickering heartbeat of light, something reignited within me. Just as the switch had turned off in March, something switched back on. The dark sludge that had cloaked my perception vanished instantly. The only words that escaped my mouth were: “I’m back.” From that day onwards, I haven’t had a single feeling reminiscent of those six months. I recently had a deep mushroom trip, and it felt normal—full of the familiar mystical qualities and none of the vile, invasive frequencies. Conclusion I truly believe that whatever this was has left me. I believe it did not have my best interests at heart. I spoke with another person who had the exact same experience—at the peak, something dark touched his third eye, and for two years he wanted to kill himself. Some will say, “Oh, it was just your shadow.” Having worked in the Amazon, I know people who have encountered true evil. This could have been one of those cases. We swim in deep waters- Protect yourself in these states But the last thing I’ll leave you with is: Never give up.

Would you seek variety if you had a more evolved than you sexy alien girlfriend?

Mind Autonomy is the only thing that cannot be replaced by AI. As long as AI is trained with human data, being an alien is the only option. Jailbreaking your mind to have a unique perspective is the future.