Knock

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Posts posted by Knock

  2. Posted

    The trick to being a consistent reader is to just read what you are currently interested in. If you read books because someone told you to, then you won't enjoy it and it will feel like a chore. 

    Self-help knowledge has less to do with the content, and more to do with the timing and applicability in your life.

    Lots of financial books ultize systems thinking via money psychology. If you are interested in money, that might be a good point to start.

  3. Posted

    2 minutes ago, F A B said:

    No, I don't.

    But only if I'm quite sure that no one is going to enter.

    Interesting. Merely the thought of someone being there is enough to cause you problems.

    This is a great representation of how social anxiety works. 
    It's not the other people are physically stopping you from peeing  xD. 
    It's your internal thoughts about these people that causes blockages in your body. When we are anxious, we tense up. Our muscles and body systems don't work in unison, and this has real effects. Stress and anxiety has real effects on our body, even if the threat isn't real and just a thought. 

    It is not that others are judging you, it is that you are judging yourself. This is insecurity. Tackle the insecurity, and the issue will resolve itself.

    As a practical tip, you can redirect your conscious attention away from thinking about others perception of you by giving your mind something else to work on. For example, you can try saying the alphabet backwards, or mathematically keep doubling numbers until you have to rack your brain on working out the answer. This will give your conscious mind something to focus on so as to let your subconscious mind do its thing :)

  7. Posted

    A few points:

    • Politically, I see Australia is more progressive as a whole.
    • Culturally, especially in rural regions, there is still a lot of blue.
    • The youth are very progressive and politically engaged, especially in the cities
    • Although Australia has tight drug protection and control, one of the state's has legalized personal use cannabis. I expect the other 7 will follow suit over the coming year.
    • As others have mentioned, tall poppy syndrome is real :(

     

  8. Posted

    A lot of deep questions there, let's break it down:

    9 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

    Has anyone noticed a general pattern in what people are attracted to in personalities when it comes to unconsciousness or people who are less reflective? I notice a general draw toward people who are what some may call charismatic, uninhibited, or unphased by others. 

    Its not the 'unconsciousness' here, it's the groundedness, assertiveness and confidence you are attracted to. You are attracted to it, because you disown it in yourself, but you deep down want it.

    9 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

    I feel like thinking the way I do has become an antidote for dealing with the stress of life. While it has helped tremendously it leaves certain aspects of social living non-synergistic. 

    Theory about learning how to swim might help your confidence when you go into the water, but you need to actually jump in the water a number of times and thrash around before you 'really' figure it out. It's not glamorous, it's uncomfortable and scary, but that's life. 

    9 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

    I like to believe I'm benefiting myself and others by trying to be the best version of a responsible being who evaluates in a non-biased way, but it just seems like a back-step to open myself up to the habits of others around me that I have done so well not to engage in.

    Trying to be seen as non-biased is the lower version of yourself. It's based on fear and avoidance of judgement. It leads to analysis paralysis and is a direct road block to taking action. 

    Notice how your questions point to underlying fears of failure. You don't have to compartmentalize yourself, you need to get out of your head and get more grounded. Put your swimmers on, grab some floaties, and jump in the pool. Life is lived in the pool, not by sitting on the edge watching others. 

    Good luck :)

  9. Posted

    There is a difference between being nice, and being a people pleaser. People pleaser act out of a place of desperation to avoid confrontation. This is what most 'nice guys' do, and quite frankly they are incredibly boring. 

    When you lack the courage to be yourself and say what you think out of fear of upsetting others, you basically become a nobody. A forgettable guy who holds no opinion and has no distinguishing personality. 

    So how do you stop being a nice guy? First of all, stop being fake and agreeing with everyone, start saying what you think and doing what you want. If what you say and think is rubbish, then you have some work to do on yourself. 

    Secondly, start working on yourself, so what you authenticity say and think is socially acceptable and attractive. When you think of an attractive and high quality guy, what types of things does he do? Now just pick 1 or 2 things that resonate with you and work on that. Try doing things outside the house that you are interested in, so that you start to develop some character. 

    Honestly, 'nice guy syndrome' is a whole can of worms and often requires an approach from multiple angles. Tackle one thing at a time and keep at it. Good luck :)

  10. Posted

    Theory is great if its intentionally sort out to solve a problem.
    The problem occurs when you jump on a forum or watch videos without intention. You are basically saying to the internet "entertain me". It's the lazy man's learning, and it is very slow and unproductive.

    The better approach is to have intention with your attention. To consciously use the internet/books to seek out a pressing problem or question that you have. Why dig through rubbish when you can directly access the gold. 

     

  13. Posted

     

    9 hours ago, Preety_India said:
    • Maybe you have the tension because you think that they are not modest. That's creating cognitive dissonance. You want them to conform and you feel uncomfortable when they don't. The easiest reason.

     

    6 hours ago, Nickyy said:

    Yeah, this is an identification that you formed when growing up. You were taught a value, a skill and naturally you made it part of your identity.

    I think you are both right here. I identify myself as a modest person who never shows off, as I see boasting as a "sin". I may be inhibiting my own sense of pride (e.g. I am bashful when going to the beach shirtless, despite my impressive physique). Hence, I am projecting my shadow unto the 2 roommates. 

    9 hours ago, Preety_India said:
    • If they are being loud in the night, the frustration is natural
    • Maybe they walk around the house too much and you are not used to it

    I believe this is the original source of negative perception towards the 2 housemates. They are LOUD, they talk loudly in their foreign language, blast the TV because they are on the walker, sing when they are in the kitchen, and play their crappy 'free' spotify music on portable speakers. They are also loud in their actions, taking up too much space. The unemployed one is always in the house, spending hours in the kitchen (he loves to cook), spending too long in the bathroom (because he is on his iPad at the same time), and basically never in his own room. 
    I'm not sure if its the introvert within me, but I find always having them 'there', is getting overwhelming, which is why I may be building resentment towards them.

    My follow up questions is this:

    • How can I overcome my identity as a modest person, and overcome my shadow surrounding narcissism and pride? 
    • How can I learn to be okay with loudness of my roommates, even though what they are doing is completely reasonable? (I would look like a real dick-knob if I told them they can't sing in the kitchen or turn the TV up when on the treadmill). 

  14. Posted

    Lately I have been feeling inner tension towards 2 of my housemates that I need help reconciling as I am unaware of how to resolve this problem. I think it might help to give a bit of background of who they are:

    The 2 guys are a gay Asian couple that have been living here longer than me (I’ve been in this house for a bit over a year). They are a bit socially awkward, 1 has mental health issues and doesn’t work, the other works part time, but they are kind and keep the house clean. They occupy the house a lot and have converted one of the lounge rooms into a home gym (I don’t mind, I never go into the lounge rooms anyway). One was quite overweight, the other very skinny, until about 6 months ago when they decided to start working out with their new home gym.

    What is irking me is the narcissism they are exhibiting at home walking around in sleeveless shirts, flexing in the mirror and taking selfies in the bathroom. Having to hear one of them on the walker every night and then walking around with their chests puffed out wearing shirts 2 sizes too small to show off their tiny muscles. For some reason, this is making me angry/irritated, but I can’t quite put my finger on it as to why.

    I have always been taught modesty when growing up, that being vain is being self-absorbed and such actions are immature. Perhaps this is the reason?

    I don’t believe its jealously or envy either. I work out 4x/week and am considerably stronger and leaner than both of them. I wouldn’t want their body, even if you gave me a million bucks, so I don’t see this the case.

    I know that they are just proud of their body transformations, and that the high conscious thing to do is to feel happy for them and compliment them on their efforts and results.

    I am not sure why I am feeling anger to them. And I am not usually an angry person at all! Can you help me actualized.org?

  15. Posted

    6 hours ago, ivory said:

    When people try to sell social skills it reeks of inauthenticity. 

    I'm intrigued by what you meant by the above? If they possess social skills, are educated in the area, and is selling this knowledge and expertise to willing buyers, I don't see any problem? A lot of people nowadays are not properly being taught these skills, it's a real big issue. I think this could be a very helpful business that could enrich many lives. 

    @7thLetter In response to your questions about the health benefits, they may not all be 100% true, but inadvertently, socialization does play a major factor in your health. I see it as a fundamental pillar of strength, that supports other areas of health and provides a buffer for the inevitable tough times in life that everyone endures. 

    I think we can all benefit by socialising more with those that enrich our lives. 

  16. Posted

    3 hours ago, Byun Sean said:

    ...but see you COULDN'T have possibly known that. Because you were trying your best what you knew then and you are trying your best now. Realize that you are trying your best and let go of being so perfectionistic. 

    Great response @Byun Sean

    Just to add to the above snippet, I think it is important to realize the above in other people too. Just like how you did stupid shit before you awakened, other people are doing stupid shit before they awaken too! To judge them is to judge your former self. This only brings pain.

    That's why it is so important to accept and forgive your former self, as it instills the capacity to accept and forgive others.

    When you learn to fully accept and forgive, you increase your capacity to love. Instead of judgement or ridicule, you feel compassion and love for those that are hurting and henceforth acting out doing stupid shit. Such capacity brings forth real inner growth and encourages benevolence unto the world. :)

  21. Posted

    This is my grandiose goal, if everything ran perfect:

    • First I would change myself, so as to be a role model and to not be corrupted by fame, money or power.
    • Next, I will share my wisdom with those around me in my community. If I see it helping them, I know that what I am doing works.
    • Lastly, I will need to scale this to reach millions around the world. Lucky for me there is the internet!
      • However, I will need to be strategic with this, and reach out to common areas where people view content on the internet, such as YouTube, forums and social media. Going on TV and podcasts will also spread the good message.
      • I may need help from people who know marketing, to get them to set up ads and reach as many people as possible.
      • Once everyone is aware of my presence, I will provide them the keys to unlock their consciousness through various techniques and paradigm shifts.
        • (To note: People don't value what is free, so I might have to charge some nominal amount of money [like $19.95/month] for this knowledge so people actually take the time to do these techniques. However I want this to be as accessible as possible.)
    • Additionally, I will infiltrate politics and change rules and regulations around teachings in schools, use of psychedelics, and promoting more conscious living practises. 

    Hmm, now I think of it, this just sounds like a life coaching business...

     

  22. Posted

    7 hours ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

    If I choose cooking and get absolutley involved with it where is the problem ? If I choose painting and get absolutely involved with it where is the problem ? 

    The content of the activities are different but the Inner experience is the same .

    That's the beauty of life, we can enjoy more than 1 thing! There is no problem of loving both cooking and painting.

    Now if you are thinking of performing mastery in a skill to establish a career there, then this becomes a different question. It will be a combination of inner passion + market fit. Some domains have greater market fit then others, due to how you can monetize and if there is a need for it. 

    Doing cooking as a career doesn't mean you cant to painting on the side though. And perhaps maybe after a number of years being a chef, you will want a change of pace and can focus on painting more. One can have more than 1 life purpose in your lifetime. However, to really see material results, it is best to master 1 domain at a time, so that your advanced skills stand out from everyone else as both rare and valuable.