5driedgrams

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Posts posted by 5driedgrams

  2. Posted

    I have a love/hate relationship with festivals. Here in America I've witnessed heroin and other opiates become more present at festivals, and that sucks. I dislike the amount of trash left behind. I also will not do any psychedelics at festivals because of all the variables. I kind of like the wild-west feel, and I always assume the role of the "lifeguard" and make sure all my friends are safe. This keeps me from fully immersing myself in the environment and having to only look after myself, but again, I assume the role on my own. I also cant help but try to lend a hand to anyone having a rough time on god knows what kind of research chem they took
    The girls are pretty
    The music is good

    My tent gets hot lol
     

  5. Posted

    On ‎7‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 2:06 PM, MiracleMan said:

    Thank you for the insight.  I've done some thinking about this, and what is bothering me lately is I still have this feeling I'm too attached to ego to gain the benefits, I feel fear and resistance, if I'm alone and the fear takes me, I'm in trouble.  I'm either clinging to the ego or it's clinging desperately to me, so great is the fear.  Lately I've been recognizing the behaviors that contribute to my anxiety and fear, and my resistance to relaxation, but the awareness of it doesn't ease my discomfort.  Case and point:  when I become relaxed I get bored, boredom seems to stimulate my habit energy and then I'm manifesting all the negative behaviors I don't want in my life like addiction, porn, video games, nicotine, thc, etc.  My vipasanna meditation seems like labor to my ego, but when I finally relax I just become tired and I fall asleep constantly during my practice.  It's like if my brain isn't bombarded by stimulation then it freaks out, like being close to emptiness is such terrifying thing.  What is really going on here?  Am I getting close to some real acceptance, or am I just creating more distractions to entertain my ego?  

         Man, thank you for YOUR insight! what you said gave me incredible insight into my own life. I constantly bombard myself with stimuli via chores, working out, video games, making music, tending to my mushrooms, and I chalk it up to just having a lot going on in my life, but I'm realizing that  it's because boredom is really uncomfortable for me. I also smoke weed on my way to work to combat boredom and again when I get off work and all through the evening. You have helped me by sharing this about yourself.

         I think that you really are on the cusp of a breakthrough. I take that thing Leo said, "awareness alone can be curative" very seriously, although I can't rely on awareness alone! I don't have any practical advice for overcoming this, otherwise I might not be suffering from it! I will definitely let you know if I figure something out, and please do the same for me. I'm also very impatient with my progress regarding my personal development and beat myself up about it ALL. THE. TIME. So I wanted to share a quote from Aldous Huxley's book "Island" in case you or anyone else does the same.

         "It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you're feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days... Lightly, lightly- it's the best advice ever given to me... to throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That's why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling..."

     

         Have you had a chance to take them yet? I'm, going to send you a PM about my micro dose this past Sunday.

      

     

  6. Posted

    6 hours ago, Mathew Pav said:

    approach whatever comes up with complete non-resistance, accept the experience as it is. When the ego is shown something it does not want to see or if it feels like it's threatened or even dying it will create great resistance to the experience and try to change it or make it go away, it is this resistance which can cause a bad trip. 

    Great insight that can be applied to regular life as well! just replace "a bad trip" with "suffering" lol. love it!

  7. Posted

    On ‎7‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 2:35 PM, Vladimir said:

    @5driedgrams That seems like a lot for micro dosing or maybe the strain I got is pretty strong. I only use .1g for micro dosing, anything beyond that gives me minor visuals which we shouldn't be having when micro dosing.

    You're absolutely right brother. .1g or .2g is correct microdosing dosage. The mushrooms I use are your garden variety psilocybe cubensis (B+ "strain" or Ecuadorian) grown myself. Maybe I'm microdosing untraditionally, and maybe I should be dosing at .1 or .2g, but when I take .1 or .2, The effects are nonexistent, or maybe unperceivable, which is the point I suppose. .4-.6g produces no visual distortion/augmentation (FOR ME), yet I am still subtlely affected mentally, being more present, more calm, slower to speak and quicker to listen, more authentic, and can vocally convey my thoughts more accurately.

         On days off from work where I take 1-1.5g I may have slight visuals, and am certainly affected mentally. I'm more focused doing household chores, I'm not content with my outside environment being cluttered or messy, I savor the present moment with my friends or loved ones (making days off feel more wisely utilized) and I spend more free time making art and/or music (rather than watching tv playing video games etc).

        IT NEEDS TO BE SAID THAT ALL OF THESE DESIRED EFFECTS CAN BE ACQUIRED WITHOUT THE MUSHROOM AND SHOULD BE SOUGHT WITHOUT! THE MUSHROOM IS JUST  A TOOL! NOT A CURE! (I'm telling myself this as well)

         Part of me feels bad about possibly microdosing improperly (out of respect for the mushroom), but another part of me says "hey, this works for me, so I'm gonna keep doing it." I believe I will try to microdose properly moving forward.

    @MiracleMan I want to give a well thought-out response so I may be a bit. The best advice for this may be simpler than I'm allowing it to be, like @AlwaysBeNice 's advice.

  9. Posted

          I am in no way an expert on this subject, I am a deep deep enthusiast, however. I believe that mushrooms have given me a glimpse of the true nature of things, of what's really important in (my) life, and what I need to change about myself in order to live a life of Truth. 

         I micro dose at around .4-.6 on work days, and 1-1.5g on days off. I am very quiet on micro dose days. I am an observer on those days. I feel like people wonder what's wrong with me on work days where I micro dose. I find I don't pleasure-seek like I normally do on days I micro dose, which is fucking huge for me. I'm more content with just being. I don't suffer from anxiety or depression chronically so I can't speak from experience on its efficacy on relieving either, but I do know that people do have success with it.

         I only micro dose every 3-4 days or so because of tolerance build up.

         I also am an advocate of the "heroic" dose for some real "mental rinsing". 

         Again, I am not an expert, I am just really interested in the subject. I am happy to see you and others seeking help from the Mushroom Gods! I will be following this post for an update! I am happy for you and good luck!

  15. Posted

    I really liked @Ryan_047 's advice! Get him into/ suggest self development! Ryan is probably right that these issues started at that impressionable time in everyone's life called childhood/adolescence. Ryan I'm glad to hear youre on the mend! I'm sending love and support your way.

    Here's my thoughts (whatever they may be worth)

    His thoughts create his actions (or lack of action) which in turn creates his circumstances. If he really wants (to) help (himself) try to get him into personal development! He is the maker and molder of his life! I believe that once he starts on the path of good habits (exercise and positive affirmations and goal-setting and goal-reaching) his confidence will boost and the girls will flock to him! He will glow! But it has to be authentic. There has to be love within before he can find or see love without. Exercise really boosted my confidence.... seeing myself progress... making goals and reaching/exceeding them. If he gives love and kindness to his mind and body that love and kindness will come back to him. If he puts it out, it will come back in. 

    and Ryan I'm going to keep your advice on masturbation in mind. I am a sex/masturbation/porn addict and it really is fucking up my life. I don't think i've ever openly admitted that, but it feels good to. Gotta acknowledge it before i can correct it. 

    Best of luck to your friend@Noname and best of luck to you too! Take Socrates advice and be frank and honest with him, and don't try to help him more than he tries to help himself! You can't want it for him! 

  16. Posted

    I listen to positive affirmation youtube videos in the morning, it really sets the tone for how my whole day will go. I also get up early and stretch for 20 min and meditate for 20 min, although the routine hasnt stuck completely yet. When i get up and dont rush, I get to work early and am calm, cool and collected. The positive affirmations remind me that every day is an opportunity to continue along the path of growth and every problem is an opportunity for growth. It reminds me to love and forgive and welcome change and be selfless. It basically gets me in line with all my principles before the day starts, so i dont have to hurriedly try to get myself in line as i go along with my day. So to summarize:

    Get up early (an hour before I would get up to do the bare minimum before work ie shower get dressed and go)

    stretch and meditate (or do yoga, I believe i need an instructor before doing yoga so i just stretch... 20 min each)

    maybe some light exercise to get your blood pumping

    And last but def not least positive affirmations! I listen to youtube videos at the moment but would like to work on my own specific ones to commit to memory and recite whenever i'd like

    Best of luck with everything!

     

  20. Posted

    I love tattoos and hearing about the stories behind them. My sleeve is based on the story of the relationship I had with my ex. I had been in a serious car accident and got addicted to pills and then heroin. I introduced her to pills heroin and the needle and we both spiraled out of control. I got clean and she stayed in active addiction for years and I blamed myself for it. The Hannya mask in ancient Japanese theater signified a person being possessed. The snake is the possession, and the girl is possessed. I know she had a choice, but I still felt I needed a reminder that I have the choice to operate in this life for the good of others. Kind of like a "pay your debts" type thing. The octopus and girl on my chest and ribs signifies my dads addiction to alcohol and pills/heroin. He overdosed and died the night before another trip to rehab. The girl signifies the attractiveness of the high, the octopus signifies the grip it can have on you. 

    The lips I got when I was 19 lol I plan on getting it covered up. The sleeve was also a coverup on my forearm. In the car accident I was in, my best friend died. I landed on top of him after we got thrown out the windshield of my truck. I believe he gave his life to save mine. Although not voluntarily, I know he would have been happy to do it, as I would for him. "He is gone but he's not forgotten" was scribbled on my arm by a Junkie friend of mine. I paid him in methadone ? I'm glad those dark days are behind me. 2 and a half years clean (from opiates) July 29th 2017

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  22. Posted

    On 7/7/2017 at 4:18 PM, Leo Gura said:

    nonduality doesn't say you follow the body. Nonduality says, You do not exist! The body just walks around like a zombie on its own. The problem is, it thinks there's someone inside it. You are like a robot who's been programmed to believe it's a human. When you think, "But I'm a real human." << that's just a program running. That program has no one behind it. In the same way that when you look at your computer, you don't think of it as having a "soul" in there somewhere. It's just a bunch of mechanics.

     

    This opened my eyes a bit. I'll have to keep this in mind.