Valach

Authentic relating is one of the most healing modalities in my experience. It is basically your conscious mind telling your subconscious that who you are right now is sufficient.

How? I spoke against PUA, not against having sex.

Thanks for wording it out for me. I am not native speaker so struggle with that sometimes. Though for me, it is more about healing and trauma release then about building your external life.

Find a woman to have a sex with if you need to and focus on healing your trauma. Do not waste time on PUA, what is so hard to understand about that?

I am not advocating for building a rotation or doing hookups, just not being celibate.. Beside, 99% of people who have sex do so without even knowing about any PUA stuff.

Find a relationship or fwb via the route you choose (pickup, online dating or social circle stuff) and focus on internal stuff. I remain single and without sex on purpose right now but I understand that it does not really serve guys at different stages of their lives.

I have done plenty of approaching and even semi-coached couple of guys in the community. In the past, that is.

You can satisfy your sexual needs whilst realizing that there is deeper stuff going on and focus on that as well. I am not advocating for people to become celibate.

And you are projecting by that I am projecting, so we keep on having the same discourse for the last 5 months. I can't empirically prove anything as this is not scientific field. It is very hard to quantify something as emotional health or psychological well-being. And you know it.

People in the nigth club are laughing and present, does not make them evolved or healthy. You are free to keep your beliefs. I also used to admire Owen, now I see him as deeply problematic person. But I would probably also not listen at the time.

Too many to name, from what I observed in men in real life: - You learn to objectify woman. - You learn to manipulate people. - You become hedonist. - You become emotionally numb. - You become validation addict. - It will make you struggle with relationships. - You will remain deeply insecure with no real self esteem. The ultimate downside of PUA is that you will burn way too much time focusing on that instead of doing real growth and real healing.

Sure, if it did not have its benefits, guys would not be doing that, I am not disputing that. But you pay the price.

When you look at Owen, do you consider him to be someone who is mature, emotionally healthy?

How do you define healthy, integrated human being? By their ability to get laid?

That does not mean PUA is not unhealthy. The more success you have via it the more it is gonna influence you and you will build identity around it like @something_else said.