Valach

But template questions are exactly how you do not get to know someone. It is just you running a script. Like I understand wanting some backup technical lines for gaming like openers, escalation, leading etc. But getting to know someone? LIke what do you expect somebody to come up with? Just ask "what do you like to do?" Idk....

Of course. I was being simplistic. Finding a partner is easier when you have a lot of options. That was my point.

My experience is that attractive woman who take care of themselfs are usually quite ambitious and move to big cities to study and stay there. Those who remain get taken up fairly quickly.

Basically this. In my experience the quality woman in small towns get taken up really fast. So if you are 30 and single, you are gonna struggle finding your match.

I am originally from a city of 20k people and moved to Prague of 1.5 million. The difference between the woman in both places is insane. I do not think after my experience with woman from Prague I could even meet someone I like in my original city. If you just want sex, fine, whatever. But if you want partner, you need quality of choices.

Yea. But it's better to be competing for 1 woman with 3 other guys than to not have any woman you want in the first place.

I mean, I get what do you mean but what do you want to hear then? You are getting to know them for some reason. Either you are curious about them or you are vetting them for long-term compatibility. And noone can answer these questions for you since if you are curious I do not know what aspects of the person drive curiosity for you and if you are screening for long term compatibility I can't answer that since I do not know what your values are for long-term match. I could tell you what my values are and what I would ask for if I was looking for relationship and what I think can reveal a healthy relationship. But idk if that is useful for you at this stage. Fundamentally, do you want to get to know the person? Or do you want to appear like you want to get to know them?

Well you kind of need more people to have a better chance of meeting someone you like. Big cities have this advantage over some small town.

You haven't been around for long then

It is very hard to develop this skillset if you are not forced by the world to do so. And young, attractive woman are simply not forced into that. It really is a curse for them.

Agreed, but that is a lifelong process. The more mature I get the more I realize how unaware I am.

How would you map development and maturity on trauma? I feel like it is hard to differentiate between this for me because a person might be relatively mature (self aware, conscious etc.), yet at the same time many of his/hers desires and preferences will be stemming from unresolved trauma. I wouldn't say that makes the person immature but that person might look like that.

How so? I am still standing behind both things. Do not lie to people - it is not good for you and it can hurt them. Obviously these are my subjective values, everyone is free to develop their own. Yeah. I've heard Prague is one of the best in Europe from couple of foreign PUAs whom I met here. I would not say my standards are low - but again, that is a subjective thing. They do not have an hour to walk around and talk to woman they actually might want to date or take things further, yet they should spend their time flirting with woman they do not like? How does that make any sense? Finding a good partner requires some effort and time investment, we both know that. Same thing happened to me and it is always heartwarming. But that usually happened when they saw me being authentic and truthful. Usually me talking to woman I wanted to meet, yet they were taken or something like that. Woman are the best lie detector there is, they will see through your dishonesty. Specially if they are healthy. And that is precisely my issue with the whole pickup stuff. This is objectifying of woman. Comparing them to jobs. As if you need to climb them up like in some corporate ladder. Meeting people or finding a partner is not some hard skill like engineering/finance. This is an innergame issue - it is about a relationship you have towards yourself. I am not attacking you or @Miguel1 either. I have a lot of respect for both of you and I enjoy reading the stuff your write on here. But I still stand behind my point. Everything is subjective of course. But in my opinion - being dishonest is already setting up a foundation into learning the bad type of social skills you want. It is externally focused - Instead of asking yourself "How do I express myself truthfully" you ask yourself "How do I win this person over". Exposure is important. Social practice is important. Therapy is important. But there are many ways to practice that don't require pretending attraction. Talk to strangers. Make friends. Practice conversations. Practice humor. Practice confidence. Then reserve expressions of romantic interest for women you're actually interested in. PS: Sorry, I had much longer response but it did not get sent for some reason

Been there about a month ago. I can confirm that it was packed with beautiful woman.

I have done a fair share of daygame, I know most numbers are gonna be flakes. Especially for beginners or really anxious guys as @Miguel1 mentioned. I also do not think woman should be giving out their numbers if they are not interested. But I understand their struggles and know that is not gonna change. But this is about us and our impact on others and dating scene. I thought we are on a forum about self development, not on some pickup forum and we try to approach things in better way. I know most woman are gonna be fine with you not reaching out. It still setups a bad standart for yourself. You are essentially coming to a human being and starting a interaction with a LIE which is a big no-go and is gonna hinder a lot of general development for the guy. I don't know guys. I probably live in an amazing city for daygame because I can literally find 10 woman that are attractive within an hour (and I assume that the guy who has had little success will have lower requirements than me), why the hell would I be approaching woman I am not attracted to? As I said, there is some context to my claim. I am not saying that flirting with a woman on a party/club setting is some evil shit. Those environments are suited for that. But doing the typical daygame approach of seeing a woman and coming up and saying something: "Hey, I though you are cute/sexy and wanted to meet you." or something along those lines is just not the way to approach things at all in my opinion. If you want to practice social skills, go ahead and talk to them. But be honest - if you are not attracted do not pretend that you are. A lot of "flirting" skills can be practiced in a platonic coversation such as being funny, playfull, teasing her/him etc. I am really baffled by this conversation since I expected especially you two to agree with me and not disagree. Even my local pickup coach (whom I really respect in terms of self developments) tells guys not to do this shit. And I know that dating and meeting people is messy. I know that shit happens. Many times have it happened to me that I thought I liked some girl and it turned out I did not - either physically or mentally. I do not beat myself up for it and am honest about it (eg. not taking her number if I realize within the interaction). I had the same approach in the past where I would just approach anyone and would even go on dates with woman I did not like that much just to practice (tbh I just lacked the self awareness) - what a sad way I lived my life.

No problem. I was just explaining my point after you questioned it.

If it is in a nightclub setting, then yea, whatever - go ahead and flirt. Daygame approaches are definitely not some harmless flirting, specially when you get her number. I have heard numerous times of woman being disappointed by the guy not reaching out. And that also translates back into dating scene maybe by them becoming more closed off and that sort of thing. I propose to be more intentional around dating and meeting people. General good rule of thumb to ask yourself in such situations is: "Will my action increase or decrease the amount of 'goodness' in the world". You yourself complain a lot about the low consciousness and "gamey" nature of socialization. Yet here you are, defending it.

Sure. But you know there is some context difference between this. You asking for time, even if not honestly, will not trigger some emotional reaction from the other side unlike with flirting etc. It is basic empathy, really.

Taking right, aligned action, yes. I do not think flirting with woman you do not like is part of that. But taking action is just part of inner game. I am quite radical but I believe most people who enter in pickup should get through quite a lot of therapy as well.

Sorry, I responded in the edit in the above comment. Generally speaking I do not believe that trying to seduce woman you are not attracted to will help you with anxiety. This is inner game issue.

Of course I have. I still have anxiety when talking to a woman I like. Nothing wrong with that. Like if you "need" to talk to a lot of woman to get in state to feel worthy of the attention you want from attractive woman (which is in itself a flawed inner game), build a momentum by talking to people in friendly way or just find places (like night clubs) where there are a lot of woman you are attracted to.

Then get into situation that you meet sufficient amount of attractive (for you) woman. Like you don't need to go around approaching 20 woman if you do not like 18 of them. Just approach the two you like. It's simple.

I think we missunderstood each other. I assumed (wrongly) that he is suggesting to try to flirt with woman you are not interested in the first place. I met guys who just practiced game by running it on everyone no matter if they were interested or not. Which fundamentally is missunderstanding of social dynamics in the first place and also unethical in my opinion. Of course you can't be purely good in this world. But you can do as much as you can to prevent it. Maybe starting with this approach right here. Woman are not objects to practice our social/seduction skills on them. Approach only if you really want to meet her. Of course, no problem just generally socializing with woman you are not attracted to, but be mindful of your intention and the way your actions impact others.

We live, we learn. Best of luck out there. I was once reported falsly to the police for spreading HIV, you can't imagine the stress I went through because if this woman. I remember for weeks after this I would get all anxious when I saw a woman who looked like her outside.

I did not mean to insult you. You know I like you. But the whole time I was reading that I was like "Why are you interacting with this woman, the red flags are right there?". I've met fair share of crazies, I know they can be traumatazing. But that is why I am looking for the signs and I get the fuck out the moment I see any of them. Honestly, I would leave it the moment you found out she was a virgin.