torgeir

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About torgeir

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 04/08/1998

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  • Location
    Norway
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. Had a goal of going to bed at 11pm today. Typing this at 3:30 AM. Just jerked off to porn for the first time in weeks, which I imagine is a good thing that I've stayed away for this long. At the same time I feel like this pattern of mine of spending endless of hours into the night on youtube is something I've done many times and would like to stop doing. Feeling incertain about how my living situation will look like forward. Looking to move out and live alone asap. Met two girls today, one cold approach and one waitress, both who I added to Facebook. Waitress was supernice. Plan to remove ubuntu operating system. Not sure how to, but will do it as soon as 'i can. I imagine I have some files I need to transfer before I do that though.
  2. For a long time I've had ideas of making a blog where I post and update on my life. Been considering making a personal website, and maybe I will, but for now actualized.org seems a great platform to just get into the habit of journaling. On this journal I will not keep any preassure to write long posts. My main goal and commitment is to posting consistently. My main goals in life right now (unordered): Run a 10K race September 17th in less than 40 minutes. (currently my 5k is at 22:45min) Move out or fix my current living situation Develop a healthy productivity habit at work. 8 hours of focused work daily, taking regular breaks and tracking my web-statistics. - During my workday I pledge not to work on non-work tasks. Worst case can be done in breaks or before/after work. Develop a healthy keto positive caloric surplus eating habit. (I want to either keep my current weight or go up in weight) Establish a daily kriya-yoga and meditation practice Keep up radical honesty practice. Get a healthy sleep schedule, going to bed no later than 11pm daily. Keeping a wakeup alarm every day. As time goes I will also link to trackings of my sleep schedule as well as tracking of my exercise journal. I'm also considering tracking my calory intake for the next couple of weeks, but I might be holding that of for a bit as I'm trying to establish some other habits first. I don't have a current habittracker at the moment, and that's also something I wish to look into going further. I commit to this being the last thing I do of procrastination before I get back to my work in a startup. I have 2h and 40min left of my day where I have the possibility to be productive. - Thanks for reading, I send you all my love and appreciation. Thor
  3. Drink water. Feel into the awkwardness and sit with it. I've gone to the bathroom 100s of times without needing to pee because of club anxiety. I have walked in circles around the same club for hours because I was scared people would see me not doing anything. Then I would be anxious that people had seen me walk around for too long. Now I can dance like an idiot in a bar where everyone else is static, or I can stand still on the dance floor when everyone else is dancing. Nothing is weird. Everything is weird. Next time you feel awkward, applaud yourself for feeling into the awkwardness. And then laugh at yourself for applauding yourself. And then laugh at yourself for laughing at yourself. Nothing makes sense in a nightclub. Sense is boring in a nightclub.
  4. Hi guys, I'm in no way an expert on game and would generally consider myself a beginner even after doing game quite heavily on and off for 2 years. I've approached at least 2'000 plus girls and seen how state dependent my game has been and I've never reached a state of consistent results. Skip forward to the last few months which has made me incredibly more certain that I'm finally on the right path. The ingredients are: 1. Go out. You all know this, but it really has to be adressed with. If you are drunk at the club you can literally be keen on anyone. If you are more spiritually developed and sober, you likely won't want to sleep with anyone and it will be a number games to simply find that girl you resonate with. I love clubbing, but if that's not your thing. Go out at nighttime and talk to girls outside the clubs. This might even get you more results. 2. Kundalini/Kriya to develop supreme confidence and an incredibly stable mind. I started this practice using an app called The Practice Bali, which has guided kundalini with an incredibly good instructor which I believe a lot of Leo followers can vibe really well with. If you want a path that really lest you quiten your mind and incorporate that intellectual knowledge you've been soaking up in your mind this is the way. Leo has recommend books on Kriya, but if you know yourself well enough that you want jump on the book this moment. Do download The Practice Bali app and save the books for later. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thepractice.app 3. Improv theater - THIS IS A HACK! This has done wonders for me, not only in game but throughout my whole life. If you've ever struggled finding the right words, this is how you not only find the words, but also start giving zero fucks about what the words actually are. Improv is all about letting the conscious flow burst out of you unfiltered in order to amaze at it and laugh at it when it happens to be super dumb. Plus it's fucking fun, and it will break down your perfectionism and your wish to do right. 4. Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. If you're not familiar with Brad Blanton, radical honesty might not be what you think it is. Your reality is perception. What's going on in your reality is always synonymous to what you are aware of right this moment. Radical Honesty is about sharing what you are aware of, both in the external environment(sight, hearing, smell) , in your physical body(direct physical sensation, i.e. tingling in my hands or tension in my throat etc.) , as well as in you mind (thoughts, ideas, judgements, imagery etc. ). Sharing this is sharing and letting others now your reality and creates an incredibly deep connection and openness. Look into Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton for more. 5. Learn general game theory. With enough presence you will automatically sense what works for you and what doesn't. While you're getting there however, do yourself a favor and learn some general game theory. Eventually it will subconsciously guide you to make the right decisions in every moment. 5. Read Sex God Method and other books on sexual mastery. Everyone should do this if only for inspiration and to make their sexlife multitudes better. This is however especially important if you notice you have insecurities about sex. - If this list looks like a lot to take in. Start from the top. Especially getting into proper kundalin/kriya yoga will eventually make the other pieces fall in place as long as you have an intention of mastering game and social skills. After following this recipe my confidence has skyrocketed and stabilized in an entirely new way. Try it out, and please comment if you have any thoughts or anything to add.
  5. Drug addicts do get tired of taking drugs though. Any addiction causes you to want more and more. The clue is realizing that it doesn't make you happy.
  6. Let's reflect!
  7. Day 8/18 of Kundalini Slept very light it seemed and had a lot of time during the night were I was strangely aware of my body posture and sensations in my back especially. Took the covid vaccine yesterday so I went a bit light on some poses due to a sore left arm biceps. Also began feeling some light headache and fever symptoms as well as lower back pain, likely due to the vaccine. The Kundalini sesh was good. Tested out a new bone conduction headset which was good to use during the exercise. Some breath holds were rather difficult and I want to practice more breath retention to go along with the kundalini. Possibly through the XPT-Life app or some other platform. Otherwise very conscious day. Not much distractions. Got a lot of work done. Visited my dad and sister and had a moment where I shared my frustrations over there being so much talk about covid and started crying, which was really good. I am very grateful to myself for the courage to do that. It felt like it kind of just came out if me, but it was both good and needed. I also notice I might have a pattern of not wanting to take too much space when I'm around my family, which I might want to look into. I suppose there is a belief that I don't fit in, and that what I find interesting might not be that interesting to them. After going home I went out and played some guitar which was really nice. Now I'm gonna do a quick overview of tomorrow and then go to sleep. Good night
  8. Day 7/18 of Kundalini Got a good amount of sleep and felt very refreshed. Took ZMA (Zinc & Magnesium) which I presume worked great. Also gives me really vivid dreams which I really love. Just popped two more pills now Todays Kundalini session was great. Focus not on top, but still very good and felt remarkably present through a lot of the session. Had to run o get my covid vaccine immidiately after which probably wasn't the best foundation for integrating the days practice. Did however spend the mandatory 20min at the covid-center in meditation, mainly breath and metta. Feeling a fair amount of anxiousness related to my tinnitus, which I assume makes a lot of sense as I am going from an environment with continous background noise to an almost dead quiet house. Will have to give this more time to see and be able to say whether it is moving in a certain direction or not. Also haven't cleared out my ears in almost two months which may or may not also be affecting it. Find that I'm generally in a very playful and confident mood. Encounters when skateboarding where I was joking around with random people, and I also had a siutuation where the neighboors above me where partying and me and my roommate Ask climbed up to there balcony and joined the party. I felt confident and relaxed even though I didn't know a single soul that was there. Played some guitar at the balcony which was really nice. Wan't to see if I can do some more deliberate practice going forward apart from just normal playing. A guy at the party above asked if he could pee. A part of me wanted to tell him not to, but I also am curious as to why. If I have an irrational belief that someone peeing from the balcony above me is either nasty or downgrading, can I really know that it is true? And does it matter? So ultimately I'm glad I let him pee. Went to my phone for some reason and ended up scrolling facebook and messenger for 40ish minutes. Need to accept that my willpower is not at that point where I can safely use these application. I must be really careful if I'm using these plattforms. Black & White on, set intentions, and keep a list of potential diversion/distractions. Also saw a quick snippit of a post my grandma had posted. Something negative about the world or covid. I still feel myself get quite affected by reading that stuff, at least in the moment, and feel no need to challenge that at the time being. I intend to stay away from facebook, news etc. and thus staying away from a lot of negativity and low vibrations. Now I'm ready to go to sleep, to potentially bathe in some strong emotions/physical sensations (which at least was the case going to bed last night). Before that I will quickly review my plan for tomorrow. Set a couple alarms + wakeup alarm and schedule tomorrows Kundalini practice. Good night
  9. I just started an 18 day Kundalini course, each video being 90min long. After that I intend to start a 108day course in kriya and kundalini yoga. This will be me sharing my journey going forward. What I will be sharing will be everything relating to how my life is going with an emphasis on internal states, emotional states and energetic states, but also relating to external stuff such as habits and routines, student life, business, social life, relationships etc. I tried multiple Kriya-classes while attending a festival at Angsbacka in Sweden, and it turned out to be one of, if not the most powerful practice I've done to increase my base-level of consciousness. I am now at day 6 of the 18-day Kundalini course. I notice I have a high level of confidence at the moment, especially in relating to the external world, which feels very natural. I believe this is mainly due to having spent a month living in a conscious community, but I also believe the practice does a great job of keeping me there. I am currently visiting a beautiful home in Oslo, Norway, surrounded by nature and the ocean. Going back home to my city, Trondheim, could be a challenge, but I feel ready to take on that challenge. There will be a lot of activity coming up so I intend to be more structured about my routines and daily schedules. For the last year(s), I've been slowly progressing more and more towards a lifestyle void of social media and digital distractions. Going forward I intend to keep using my smartphone, but with some specific guidelines: 1. Phone is to be kept in Black & White mode whenever possible. 2. Any social media app should be used on computer, not phone, whenever possible. 3. Messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Messenger, IG etc. are to be checked only at certain occasions: 1. After schedule review and first task initiated. 2. At the end of/after a conscious session. 4. All notifications except calls and texts are to be turned off. Food and beverage: 1. I intend to keep away from poor food, such as cakes, candy, fast food etc. 2. I intend to put an emphasis on highly nutritious homemade meals. 3. I intend to stay clear of food heavy in fast carbs. 4. I intend to drink a lot of water and smoothies. Daily Routines: Journal (either written, video or audio depending on energy levels) Review tomorrows schedule I intend to go to be in my bed ready to sleep by 23:00 I intend to set an alarm for 06:50 (If I don't wake up slightly before my alarm most days I will extend my sleep a bit more.) Drink water, morning pills + toilet. Do morning yoga/meditation Make breakfast Review daily schedule Do most important task or whatever else needs to be done Check Messenger/WhatsApp Weekly routines: Plan upcoming week every Sunday. Work out when possible. Schedule during weekly planning. Play guitar whenever suitable. Go hiking or into nature as much as possible That's it for now. More is coming
  10. How's it going fellow beings. I have decided to start journaling here. This is a picture of me to the Left and my amazing friend and partner in crime EyolfTheWolf. I live in Trondheim in Norway, I'm 22 years old The purpose of this journal is to keep track of my own progress, my own ups and downs and hopefully receive some approval and reaffirming of my own progress by other forum members. I commit to being radically honest. I don't have any expectations for the coming posts, the will hopefully be some kind of mirror of my current state and recent states upon posting. I do this for love, for connection, for intimacy, for growth and for Truth.
  11. Hi guys, I'm 20 years old from Norway and recently started experiencing loud, constant tinnitus (ringing in my ear). I developed heavy anxiety fearing I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life. As it led to increased suffering for me it also made me very aware of the suffering nature of life and almost fixated on this and struggling to focus on the beauty. I've never experienced any kind of depression before and this is really scaring me. Anyone have any tips on what to do whatsoever? Would be forever grateful. Thanks.
  12. In Leo's video on meditation: exactly 14 minutes in, he talks about how visualization is basicly useless unless you do it every day. Now when you are visualizing you are visualizing towards a specific goal, so this got me asking the question: Do you need to visualize on the same exact goal every day for it to have an effect? And if you have multiple goals you want to visualize; can you switch, doing one goal this day and another the next, or do you have to go through multiple visualizations after each other (in the same day) to get the effect? https://youtu.be/q89nSsjWjFs
  13. I think the title speaks for it self. In many of your videos, and in everyday life the topic of choise comes up a lot. Choose this and choose that, yet we know that free will is simply an illusion and we have no control over these choises we make. How do we deal with this and other things, such as all the problems related to EGO and Free will, and every other topic you can connect to Free will.