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About JaroslavtotheT

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  • Birthday June 12

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  1. Beam, you're right about the ego. Most of the times we're making thing needlessly harder to ourself because of it. That said, the ego itself's not a bad thing, it has its purpouse. But sometimes people don't know how to work with it. Like everything it takes practise. Philosogi, the first would be something really manageble the mountains nearby my home. Problem with that is that I don't wanna go alone due to bears... many many bears. I tried to find some companion who would go with me, but seems like the whole summer isn't enough to find one. I'd love to travel across my country by train, but once again, I don't have the balls to go alone. But I'm still trying to find someone.. so who knows. Gabriel David Gomez, your advice is on point. If I want to change, I need to take few steps at a time, master change in one thing, then move on to the other. Easier said than done. Thank you all for a response.
  2. Hi everyone, Imma be bluntly honest with this: I'm 17 y. o., never been good with other people, never had many friends, ... which made me want to have them. When I had some friends, I never appreciated them enough, always trying to be friends with more popular people. Since I don't spend time with friends, almost all my time is spend with myself or my family. And you guessed it.. I don't appreciate my family enough either. Other thing about me is that I always try to be accepted. Ever since I can remember I always tried my best at everything, always tried to be cool, to be the best or at least one of the best at every single thing from sports to drawing... because I thought if people like me, I'll have an easier life. So basically I have a mindset of a child. Always wanting what I don't have. But that sh#t never works (cuz when something doesn't work out I'm very ashamed and I put extereme and unnecessary pressure on me [words of my psychologist]), so I need a change. And I found it. In self-actualization. I've never been happier and I've never found more beauty in this world than when I was meditating daily for 3 weeks straight. I've even found a whole new purpouse for improving myself. I no longer do it for appreciation but just because I like it. That said.. I've developed some addictions along the way and I think they have little something to do with Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You see.. my social life is pretty much non-existing. It's been like that for more than a decade now. Results? I always tend to waste time just to waste time, procrastinate, brag and evade my problems. And I just can't live this way no more. I'm stuck. I wake up every single day and say to myself: "This is it, the new beggining. Today I'll work towards my dreams. Today I'll do the things I wanna do!" But, aside from working-out, I never will. I just can't get myself to do the things I love. I can't get myself to meditate, work on music, go to the nature, or sometimes even work out. I just keep on wasting time on the internet, watching youtube, porn, movies, other peoples lives and so on. I lay down on my bed and listen to music while imaginig the future, living life like I want. I'm addicted to wasting time. And sometimes I can get myself to medite, write text etc., but it never lasts more than a month. It's like a never-ending cycle. The psychologist didn't help me much but maybe sharing it here will. Lastly, I'd like to tell you what I want at the moment. I wanna live like I'm feeling that I live, experience passion, love, hate etc. Experience as much as possible. Go to as many places I can, get to know as many people I can and share love through music with as many I can. Make no mistake, one day I'll live this way, and when I do, I'll be ready to look for the true happines, for the truth. Thanks to all who took the time to read this. PS: If you found any grammar mistakes.. well... I-uhm.. english ain't my mother tongue, so suck it.
  3. Hi, haven't been here for a while. I'd like to share the struggle I'm fighting with most of my life. I don't really need help... just wanted to post it here. I have a lot of guilt from procrastinating because I’m a perfectionist. But my perfectionism causes me to procrastinate. If I’m mindful, my perfectionism perishes. If my perfectionism perishes, I’ll be flexible. If I’m flexible, I’ll stop procrastinating. If I’m not procrastinating, my guilt will disappear. If I’m guiltless, I’m free. If I’m free, I’m excellence. *bam*
  4. What helped me with that paradox was actually simplyfying it even more. Rather than thinking about whether I should accept myself like I am, or do it through more negative emotion... or just trying to find my way by thinking in general I simply said to myself: "There's no better reason than the fact that I like what I'm doing in order to do it... " This hepled me alot, since I got out of my personal struggle. Now I have some other issues... I'm getting my shit together tho. Sorry if I got off topic, but I love the simplicity of just feeling something's right being enough.
  5. This community is quite inspiring actually... thinking of so many topics to write about I had to wrote them down. I just imagined the facial expressions of people if I were to say something like "I could be my own god" outloud. Hilarious. This makes me wanna start writing lyrics again. #writingseption
  6. Hell yeah that's quite awesome but it still doesn't help when you when you accidentally delete a whole fricking paragraph ( like me). And how about this... by loving yourself you in the end love everything ( or nothing) because of you being the all there is ( or once again nothingness). Watcha think?
  7. Well these don't include such a theme but I reeeally like those uplifting vibes I get from them and what it does with me is basically the same effect as something with a self actualizational theme: enjoy
  8. gotta get some wristbands seems like good shit
  9. fucking awesome responses... I have the very problem T11 adressed only I call it guilt and it's actually guilt from both long gone past and the past of today (I struggle with the second one many times more than the first). But these stuggles don't even have to be stuggles cuz the only thing that makes them hard is your own lies & ego which can be errased by simply breathing in and realizing your... well... infinity. Funny how we make something easy really hard for ourselfes 'let that shit go' & 'Ultimately you're a badass infinite being who doesn't need to cope with any enemies because there is nobody and nothing to fight with.' - Eye 2016
  10. Thank you!
  11. Thanks for the feedback. I really find this forum supportive & inspiring. Some topics here are a great inspiration for writing lyrics
  12. I'm sure that all of you have heard at some point and time a saying 'your greatest enemy is yourself'. I'd like to start a discussion on this topic. For example, how to beat this enemy and whether or not you should even fight it... or maybe how to make peace with yourself & love 'you' for who you are with all your expectations, shame, broken promises and flaws.... I don't know. Any ideas on this topic are welcome, it's supposed to be a discussion after all.
  13. Glad to know.
  14. Thanks again for the replies. d1ajax, your reply is quite helpful to me, You're right about meditating getting you into that mindfulness state, sometimes it feels like you're meditating even after meditation. It's simple and yet hard. Will do my best to make it a daily routine. Leo Gura, that's kinda my problem too. You see I'm not having any problems with hard work whatsoever, I'm having problems with keeping that work constant (like I told you in my video request). And I'm not doing mindfulness meditation... I'm doing sort of mindfulness meditation, but it's not like one 100%. It's my own personal type of meditation which I enjoy very much. I do it however for only 21 minutes per day (trying to do it 24/7).
  15. Well thank you for such a long and detailed response! You see I get that the so called 'I' and the world are in fact one and the same... but getting something logically, in your head and experiencing & living is something else entirely. That's where I have a problem. Getting something not just with my head. And I supposse that's also why many people cell enlightenment 'an incommunicable information'.... because just understanding it in your head is almost worthless to you... you literally have to go through a journey in order to live it by your whole existence. But what do I know 'bout being enlighted